| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 805311 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:46 - Mar 15 with 9497 views | Esox_Lucius |
Sweating when filling up the car?
Feeling sick when seeing fuel prices?
Then you could be suffering with Car owner virus |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:15 - Mar 17 with 9168 views | Sonofpugwash |
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:18 - Mar 18 with 9009 views | johann28 |
Scientists are studying carefully the effects of drugs on seabirds.
They're leaving no tern unstoned. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:41 - Mar 22 with 8805 views | Boston |
What d’ya call a fake Blarney Stone?
Shamrock. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:55 - Mar 22 with 8766 views | Esox_Lucius |
BREAKING NEWS!
Engineers have just made a car that can run on parsley…
Now they're hoping to make buses that run on thyme! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:57 - Mar 22 with 8755 views | Toast_R |
Michael Jackson was the first celebrity to demand people used his correct pro-nouns.
When asked what they were he replied "He he" |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:19 - Mar 26 with 8515 views | Boston |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:31 - Mar 29 with 8269 views | Esox_Lucius |
The worst advice you can give to someone who is being hunted by taxidermists, is to play dead. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:26 - Mar 30 with 8133 views | Esox_Lucius |
There's a small German town near Munich called Pfilzerplatz, and the town is renowned for producing fine stationery. Anyway, Munich had a problem -- the thousands of stray dogs in the city were breeding with one another and overrunning the city. So the people of Munich banded together and ran the dogs out of the city. Unfortunately, the dogs appeared in Pfilzerplatz. The dogs took over everything, and the mayor decided to evacuate the town. The paper mills were shut down, and everyone left.
But a couple days later, the townsfolk, watching their town from the hills, saw smoke rising from the smokestacks. They knew no humans were left in the town, so they concluded that the dogs had learned to operate the factories.
The mayor hurried to Munich's town hall and pleaded, "You've got to help us!
The mills are alive with the hounds of Munich! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:46 - Apr 1 with 7921 views | johann28 |
Will Smith was laughing till Jada cast him a dirty look. He was then stuck between a Rock and a hard face. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:33 - Apr 1 with 7824 views | Sonofpugwash |
Just been on a weekend residential course about reincarnation, very interesting.
Mind you, it cost nearly £800, still, you only live once. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:36 - Apr 3 with 7700 views | Sonofpugwash |
So many people these days are way too judgemental.
I can tell just by looking at them. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:46 - Apr 4 with 7590 views | Boston |
Some people say women with blond hair and big breasts are stupid. My observations tell me that this combination actually makes men stupid. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:38 - Apr 4 with 7519 views | Esox_Lucius |
Two astronauts floating outside the spaceship on a maintenance expedition decide to stop for a tea break.
One of them exclaims "Damn, I can't find any milk for my coffee"
The other one says "In space no-one can, here use cream". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:46 - Apr 4 with 7532 views | Esox_Lucius |
On the subject of wind farms; I'm a big fan. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:02 - Apr 4 with 7523 views | Sonofpugwash |
I told my friend that my aunt is in hospital and passing the time playing draughts, ludo, mahjong etc.
"Any chess?"
"No, she's gone private." | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:44 - Apr 6 with 7345 views | Sonofpugwash |
When my doctor said there's a cure for Dyslexia it was music to my arse. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:53 - Apr 7 with 7158 views | Boston |
It’s incredible how good my wife has become in bed since we entered late middle age.
All night long, she lies very still and doesn’t snore. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:49 - Apr 7 with 7101 views | Myke |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:53 - Apr 7 by Boston |
It’s incredible how good my wife has become in bed since we entered late middle age.
All night long, she lies very still and doesn’t snore. |
When my new girlfriend asked me to unscrew the lid from a new jar of marmalade, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to show how strong and macho I was. Sadly I couldn't pull it off | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:11 - Apr 7 with 7032 views | Sonofpugwash |
In Moscow I got stung by a dodgy looking wasp, although, thinking about it, it may have been a cagey bee. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:37 - Apr 8 with 6868 views | Sonofpugwash |
Anyone know how to get rid of condensation in the kitchen?
If so nip round,the kettle's always on. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:41 - Apr 10 with 6725 views | Sonofpugwash |
Getting fed up with people complaining about prices.
£2 for a coffee, £3 for a slice of cake, £5 for parking.
That's the last time I invite them round. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:53 - Apr 10 with 6703 views | Milo884 |
Im fuming! Bought a pack of cards and they were all stuck together.
I just can't deal with it. [Post edited 10 Apr 2022 9:55]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:44 - Apr 15 with 6431 views | Sonofpugwash |
To the person who stole my trainers and hi-viz jacket...
you can run but you can't hide. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:47 - Apr 15 with 6416 views | Dorse |
I asked Armold Schwarzenegger what was his favourite Christian festival. He said: 'Have to love Easter, baby'. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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