| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 807318 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:25 - Jul 24 with 8559 views | Sonofpugwash |
My partner piped up last night..
"You are gullible and financiallly irresponsible!"
Oh yeah?Wait till she hears I've won the Nigerian Lottery. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:34 - Jul 24 with 8531 views | Boston |
An artist friend of mine (knowing I'm a dog lover), asked if there was a good time to paint a customer's pit bulls?
"When they're asleep", I replied. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:21 - Jul 24 with 8444 views | Boston |
Just had a neighbourhood news alert that 10,000 hares have escaped from a local animal sanctuary.
Police are combing the area. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Jul 25 with 8288 views | Esox_Lucius |
One of the Arctic Monkeys has sold his collection of rugs to a former Italian midfielder. He was quoted as saying "they'll look good on Zidane's floor". |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:39 - Jul 25 with 8255 views | Lblock |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Jul 25 by Esox_Lucius |
One of the Arctic Monkeys has sold his collection of rugs to a former Italian midfielder. He was quoted as saying "they'll look good on Zidane's floor". |
Prefer the one where it's a French midfielder.... |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:49 - Jul 25 with 8141 views | hantssi |
Absolutely disgusting behaviour I saw on the beach at Great Yarmouth earlier today.
I was on the seafront and saw a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of loads of kids, suddenly the woman smacked the guy in the head and it all kicked off. There was a massive brawl and someone called the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and took his baton to the man, the guy managed to snatch it off him and began assaulting the copper AND his wife!
Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept up and stole all the sausages !! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:02 - Jul 25 with 8047 views | Boston |
hantssi was sitting at a bar when a very ugly lady sat down next to him.
She had a squirrel on her shoulder, leaning forward she whispers, "tell me what type of animal this is, and I'll sleep with you?"
"erm" say hants, "its a crocodile"
"Close enough" she replies. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:05 - Jul 25 with 8045 views | Boston |
What's the difference between alligator and crocodile?
Spelling and pronunciation. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:56 - Jul 26 with 7936 views | hantssi |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:02 - Jul 25 by Boston |
hantssi was sitting at a bar when a very ugly lady sat down next to him.
She had a squirrel on her shoulder, leaning forward she whispers, "tell me what type of animal this is, and I'll sleep with you?"
"erm" say hants, "its a crocodile"
"Close enough" she replies. |
You must have followed me around when we were younger as it sounds very much like me!!
Never say never! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:11 - Jul 26 with 7861 views | Sonofpugwash |
These new edible insect snacks are flying off the shelves. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:12 - Jul 26 with 7757 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:39 - Jul 25 by Lblock |
Prefer the one where it's a French midfielder.... |
This happened whilst he was playing for Juventus. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:39 - Jul 26 with 7690 views | Toast_R |
In Poundland earlier and bought two Harry Potter brooms. Quid each |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:53 - Jul 27 with 7614 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 08:56 - Jul 26 by hantssi |
You must have followed me around when we were younger as it sounds very much like me!!
Never say never! |
Oh Yeah! Was your favourite position the WOW?
Y'know, when you flipped your girlfriend's mom over. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:03 - Jul 27 with 7473 views | Sonofpugwash |
(borrowed)
I went to to a fancy dress party dressed as a harp.The host asked "what have you come as?"
I said "A harp"
He said "That's too small to be a harp."
So I said "are you calling me a lyre?" | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:12 - Aug 2 with 7070 views | Sonofpugwash |
I'm being urged to join The Flat Earth Society.
Apparently they've got members all over the globe. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:37 - Aug 2 with 6949 views | Boston |
Know why there are no tv's in Afghanistan?
Because they have a tellyban. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:32 - Aug 2 with 6778 views | CliveWilsonSaid |
I had a Hawaiian Pizza the other day
Unfortunately it was burnt
Should have cooked it on aloha temperature |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:44 - Aug 3 with 6707 views | Boston |
Never order meringues in Australia, they fcking hate 'em.
Yeah, Aussies boo meringues. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:38 - Aug 3 with 6628 views | Esox_Lucius |
Dad: Someone in this household is possessed by an owl.
Son: Who?
Dad: Ahaaaaa!!! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:13 - Aug 3 with 6572 views | Myke |
True story. I bought a new toilet seat the other day (exciting life I have). Went to Homebase,picked out one that I (my wife) liked and went up to the young girl on checkout. She has her scanner and looks all over the box for the barcode. I couldn't resist saying,"Well it's a toilet seat so it's probably on the BOTTOM" - cue red-faced young lady. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:04 - Aug 3 with 6390 views | Boston |
Would you be an English teacher, Myke?
Five vowels, eight consonants, a comma and an exclamation mark appeared at Ealing Magistrates' today.
They're due back next week for sentencing.
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"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
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And, if you're wondering, double negatives are a big no no. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:40 - Aug 3 with 6330 views | Myke |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:04 - Aug 3 by Boston |
Would you be an English teacher, Myke?
Five vowels, eight consonants, a comma and an exclamation mark appeared at Ealing Magistrates' today.
They're due back next week for sentencing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And, if you're wondering, double negatives are a big no no. |
. [Post edited 3 Aug 2022 23:02]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:38 - Aug 4 with 6294 views | Boston |
What do you get if you cross a chef and a waitress?
A cold dinner. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:54 - Aug 4 with 6291 views | Boston |
Ooops, just noticed the previous post...apologies Myke if you thought that was a dig, not at all, just a couple of amusing Eng. Lang. moments for the student body. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:56 - Aug 4 with 6096 views | Rebalhoop |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:05 - Jul 25 by Boston |
What's the difference between alligator and crocodile?
Spelling and pronunciation. |
What’s the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison?
You can’t wash your hands in a Buffalo... | | | |
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