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St Mary's To Be Expanded

The capacity at St mary's Stadium could be increased during the summer with Saints seemingly having to build a bank vault to keep all the money coming into the club.

Southampton officials are rumoured to having St Mary's Stadium surveyed to find out where the best place to build a large bank vault would be after Chelsea supposedly joined the chase for Morgan Schneiderlin and Nathaniel Clyne.

Favourite seems to be an underground chamber under the pitch which can then be guarded by a series of deathly man traps along with a couple of thousand year old knights from the crusades.

With the best part of another £100 million winging its way to Saints in the summer Steven Spielberg is apparently being consulted by the club to put in measures to guard the cash whilst Ronald Koeman identifies players to spend it on.

Spielberg is likely to advise them to build a big underground chamber under the pitch which can only be reached by first avoiding a swinging swinging axe, then answering a few clues from the quiz in the programme for the Sunderland game than enable a would be burglar to step on the right stones and avoid falling through a suspended floor.

If that is not enough then a pair of knight's who have been left behind from the last crusade will be employed to guard it with the final test being that would be thieves will need to identify the spoon used by Nicola Cortese to stir his expresso whilst he was being "leaved by mutual consent" last year.

Other than that it is just a normal day in the rumour mill for Southampton Football Club

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