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Ashes 2023 16:47 - Jun 8 with 102742 viewsHoopstar

Ah the home Ashes series is almost upon us, my personal favourite sporting event (not down under, that's just generally depressing.) I need something big sporting wise to focus on and quit my worrying about QPR for a while.

Anyone going?

I was at the first day of the World Test Championship at the Oval yesterday. The Aussies looked in depressingly good nick with the bat and their pace attack appears as terrifying as ever.

I think it's going to be an exciting, tough, tense series that'll go down to the wire. I only managed to get tickets to the very final day of the Ashes on 31st July at the Oval, you never know.

I predict...

Crawley to average less than 20 with Duckett getting closer to mid 30s
Brook to really secure his position as an outstanding talent and mainstay of the team
Pope to struggle again~
Root, in what could be his last home Ashes, proving his worth again
Bairstow - haven't a clue which version turns up post broken foot

Broad - an Ashes too far? You'd be mad to write him or Jimmy off.
Robinson to nab Smith at least four times..
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Ashes 2023 on 18:16 - Jul 19 with 2083 viewsdenhamhoop2

Ashes 2023 on 10:24 - Jul 19 by Hooparoo

Travis Head bowls off spin and Smith started his career as a leg spinner. Spin doesn’t win you matches in England fast seam and swing bowlers do. And all this talk of Australia only need a draw, we always play to win not draw.
[Post edited 19 Jul 2023 10:25]


While picking a team comprising of 3 front line bowlers and 2 part time bowlers love the fact an Aussie thinks Travis Head can be seen as senior spinner with his 9 Test Wickets think Kevin Pietersen might actually have taken more Test wickets and if England had picked him as the main spinner in Australia would expect England to see a Dust bowl greeting them
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Ashes 2023 on 18:33 - Jul 19 with 2073 viewsMedwayR

Ashes 2023 on 17:50 - Jul 19 by QPRMendoza

Two of the all-time best sledges:

During a one-day match between Australia and Zimbabwe in 1996, McGrath was becoming increasingly frustrated with Brandes’ attempts at the big heave-ho outside off-stump. After several play-and-misses, McGrath looked big Eddo up and politely enquired: “Why are you so fat?” As quick-as-a-flash, Brandes retorted: “Because every time I make love to your wife she gives me a biscuit.”

After playing-and-missing at a number of his deliveries in a county game in England, Thomas sarcastically told Richards: “It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering.” Richards proceeded to hit the next ball out of the ground and calmly replied: “You know what it looks like, now you go and find it.”


Didn't one of the Aussies once ask Botham "How's your wife and my kids?" to which Botham replied "The wife's alright, the kids are a bit retarded though" or is that a myth???

Poll: Who’s better?

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Ashes 2023 on 18:38 - Jul 19 with 2061 viewsRangersw12

Just about England's day

A massive missed opportunity by the Aussies who could have batted us out of the series
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Ashes 2023 on 18:48 - Jul 19 with 2040 viewsrbee

So by lunch tomorrow the Aussies will have got 348 and we shall be 84 for 4
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Ashes 2023 on 21:25 - Jul 19 with 1871 viewsAntti_Heinola

Ashes 2023 on 17:50 - Jul 19 by QPRMendoza

Two of the all-time best sledges:

During a one-day match between Australia and Zimbabwe in 1996, McGrath was becoming increasingly frustrated with Brandes’ attempts at the big heave-ho outside off-stump. After several play-and-misses, McGrath looked big Eddo up and politely enquired: “Why are you so fat?” As quick-as-a-flash, Brandes retorted: “Because every time I make love to your wife she gives me a biscuit.”

After playing-and-missing at a number of his deliveries in a county game in England, Thomas sarcastically told Richards: “It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering.” Richards proceeded to hit the next ball out of the ground and calmly replied: “You know what it looks like, now you go and find it.”


The first one is so old I think WG Grace claimed to be the first to say it.

Bare bones.

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Ashes 2023 on 21:57 - Jul 19 with 1834 viewshamptonhillhoop

Ashes 2023 on 18:33 - Jul 19 by MedwayR

Didn't one of the Aussies once ask Botham "How's your wife and my kids?" to which Botham replied "The wife's alright, the kids are a bit retarded though" or is that a myth???


I have heard that one before. The Aussie concerned when I heard it was Rod Marsh
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Ashes 2023 on 22:23 - Jul 19 with 1793 viewsHooparoo

Ashes 2023 on 18:16 - Jul 19 by denhamhoop2

While picking a team comprising of 3 front line bowlers and 2 part time bowlers love the fact an Aussie thinks Travis Head can be seen as senior spinner with his 9 Test Wickets think Kevin Pietersen might actually have taken more Test wickets and if England had picked him as the main spinner in Australia would expect England to see a Dust bowl greeting them


Head and Smith are “part time” spin options only as the simple reality is that we have no one as good as Lyon. If you win the series, Lyon’s calf will be a big reason why.

Poll: Where will we finish up next season?

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Ashes 2023 on 09:21 - Jul 20 with 1683 viewsrobith

Ashes 2023 on 17:06 - Jul 19 by w7r

Excellent catch - Bairstow's partial redemption for previous cock-ups.
[Post edited 19 Jul 2023 17:09]


Nah, keepers are meant to catch the ball. We're still about net 300 runs down on his drops this series
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Ashes 2023 on 09:27 - Jul 20 with 1674 viewsrobith

Ashes 2023 on 17:50 - Jul 19 by QPRMendoza

Two of the all-time best sledges:

During a one-day match between Australia and Zimbabwe in 1996, McGrath was becoming increasingly frustrated with Brandes’ attempts at the big heave-ho outside off-stump. After several play-and-misses, McGrath looked big Eddo up and politely enquired: “Why are you so fat?” As quick-as-a-flash, Brandes retorted: “Because every time I make love to your wife she gives me a biscuit.”

After playing-and-missing at a number of his deliveries in a county game in England, Thomas sarcastically told Richards: “It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering.” Richards proceeded to hit the next ball out of the ground and calmly replied: “You know what it looks like, now you go and find it.”


I always liked when KP was tonking Aus around in the ODIs before the 05 Ashes. He edged a ball, and Michael Clarke shouted "why won't you just get out??" at him.

Clarke had recently been through a high profile divorce and KP lent forward and said "Ah, you're just sad because nobody loves you" and apparently even Punter and Warnie were creasing in the slips
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Ashes 2023 on 09:36 - Jul 20 with 1654 viewsTheChef

Big day today (aren't they all?).

Need to finish off the Aussies quickly and then bat well the rest of the day, ideally get a big first innings lead. One ton required from somebody, preferably two.

Poll: How old is everyone on here?

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Ashes 2023 on 09:52 - Jul 20 with 1621 viewsSydneyRs

Ashes 2023 on 17:50 - Jul 19 by QPRMendoza

Two of the all-time best sledges:

During a one-day match between Australia and Zimbabwe in 1996, McGrath was becoming increasingly frustrated with Brandes’ attempts at the big heave-ho outside off-stump. After several play-and-misses, McGrath looked big Eddo up and politely enquired: “Why are you so fat?” As quick-as-a-flash, Brandes retorted: “Because every time I make love to your wife she gives me a biscuit.”

After playing-and-missing at a number of his deliveries in a county game in England, Thomas sarcastically told Richards: “It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering.” Richards proceeded to hit the next ball out of the ground and calmly replied: “You know what it looks like, now you go and find it.”


I seem to recall McGrath fired up big time when he asked a West Indies player "what does Brian Lara's c*ck taste like?" and got the response "ask your wife".
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Ashes 2023 on 10:04 - Jul 20 with 1602 viewsE17hoop

Ashes 2023 on 09:52 - Jul 20 by SydneyRs

I seem to recall McGrath fired up big time when he asked a West Indies player "what does Brian Lara's c*ck taste like?" and got the response "ask your wife".


Mind the windows Tino

It's always noisiest at the shallow end
Poll: Who do you want as next Next England manager?

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Ashes 2023 on 10:05 - Jul 20 with 1601 viewsdaveB

Ashes 2023 on 09:36 - Jul 20 by TheChef

Big day today (aren't they all?).

Need to finish off the Aussies quickly and then bat well the rest of the day, ideally get a big first innings lead. One ton required from somebody, preferably two.


Thats the ideal but think it will be close and England will need the rain forecast to be better than it sounds

If we can get ahead with the bat today and give ourselves a chaseable target on day 5 that would be a good effort.

Aussies I thought were playing time a lot yesterday to reduce our chances, didn't seem to want to score runs in that last hour
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(No subject) (n/t) on 10:11 - Jul 20 with 1588 viewsR_from_afar

Ashes 2023 on 17:50 - Jul 19 by QPRMendoza

Two of the all-time best sledges:

During a one-day match between Australia and Zimbabwe in 1996, McGrath was becoming increasingly frustrated with Brandes’ attempts at the big heave-ho outside off-stump. After several play-and-misses, McGrath looked big Eddo up and politely enquired: “Why are you so fat?” As quick-as-a-flash, Brandes retorted: “Because every time I make love to your wife she gives me a biscuit.”

After playing-and-missing at a number of his deliveries in a county game in England, Thomas sarcastically told Richards: “It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering.” Richards proceeded to hit the next ball out of the ground and calmly replied: “You know what it looks like, now you go and find it.”



"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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Ashes 2023 on 10:12 - Jul 20 with 1588 viewsR_from_afar

Ashes 2023 on 17:50 - Jul 19 by QPRMendoza

Two of the all-time best sledges:

During a one-day match between Australia and Zimbabwe in 1996, McGrath was becoming increasingly frustrated with Brandes’ attempts at the big heave-ho outside off-stump. After several play-and-misses, McGrath looked big Eddo up and politely enquired: “Why are you so fat?” As quick-as-a-flash, Brandes retorted: “Because every time I make love to your wife she gives me a biscuit.”

After playing-and-missing at a number of his deliveries in a county game in England, Thomas sarcastically told Richards: “It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering.” Richards proceeded to hit the next ball out of the ground and calmly replied: “You know what it looks like, now you go and find it.”


Good stuff, thanks for sharing.

My favourite is the Merv Hughes / Javed Miandad exchange and here, Merv gives us his version of the story:

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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Ashes 2023 on 10:19 - Jul 20 with 1579 viewsHooparoo

You’ll all be pleased to know that the headline in the Aussie media this morning was “Bairstow’s beautiful catch” Credit where’s its due, it was a great catch. Might be a game defining moment

Poll: Where will we finish up next season?

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Ashes 2023 on 10:49 - Jul 20 with 1544 viewsrobith

Ashes 2023 on 10:19 - Jul 20 by Hooparoo

You’ll all be pleased to know that the headline in the Aussie media this morning was “Bairstow’s beautiful catch” Credit where’s its due, it was a great catch. Might be a game defining moment


psyop to keep England picking him
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Ashes 2023 on 11:03 - Jul 20 with 1520 viewsHooparoo

Ashes 2023 on 10:49 - Jul 20 by robith

psyop to keep England picking him


Ha ha

Poll: Where will we finish up next season?

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Ashes 2023 on 14:13 - Jul 20 with 1439 viewsToast_R

Nice early tonne between Ali and Crawley. Things looking up at the moment.

The weather forecast is a worry for the second innings
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Ashes 2023 on 15:58 - Jul 20 with 1386 viewsRangersw12

Excellent so far by England and on course for a big lead which will be crucial to pushing for a win
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Ashes 2023 on 15:58 - Jul 20 with 1386 viewsHoopstar

What a knock from Crawley. Such an awesome player to watch when he gets going - hope this is the start of the making of him as an England player as he has all the ability in the world. He's dismissed my prediction of his averaging less than 20 this series anyway.

Sessions couldn't go much better than that - 7.12 an over off 25 overs! Just what we needed.
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Ashes 2023 on 16:01 - Jul 20 with 1313 viewsrobith

Cricinfo has Crawley on 64% control for his ton, I can't recall seeing lower

They all count though
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Ashes 2023 on 16:09 - Jul 20 with 1301 viewsHoopstar

In fairness, he could have played on twice and slashed over the slips which could have easily gone into one of their bucket handed players.

Just not many test openers that can play an innings like that. Guess there's always going to be an element of luck with his approach, great when it comes off and effin annoying when it doesn't.
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Ashes 2023 on 16:22 - Jul 20 with 1266 viewsTheChef

Going about as well as could be expected!

Just hope the Manc weather doesn't fck it up.

Poll: How old is everyone on here?

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Ashes 2023 on 16:39 - Jul 20 with 1224 viewsMrSheen

Ashes 2023 on 16:22 - Jul 20 by TheChef

Going about as well as could be expected!

Just hope the Manc weather doesn't fck it up.


Interesting see the change in pressure through the series. England ran their bowlers into the ground in the first couple of tests, where they bowled 23 and 18 no balls. That's fallen to 3 in the last two tests and Australia have already bowled seven this innings. There's a chance of Starc and Cummins being burned out for the decider, let's hope the Ashes are still up for grabs.
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