| Fiery arse of doom 09:27 - Jul 18 with 10433 views | toboboly |
Went to the Duchess of Cambridge (off the Goldhawk Road) yesterday to try out their American Beer festival and killer hot wing challenge.
For a start the beer is stupidly expensive (£7 a pint was the average price) but the wings were a different story.
£5 for six wings and no time limit, easy I thought.
Had to sign a disclaimer and then the wings came along, they looked quite big and aggressively red and there was a lot of sauce on them. Being quite hungry and clearly stupid I plowed into them and holy Christ on a bike they were hot. I was crying and the snot creator in my nose went into overdrive.
After two wings I gave up and scrambled to the toilet where I washed my hands three times before going to the loo. I should've washed more, my dick was on fire. Came back from the toilet to find my mates stuff there but not him, "Must've gone to get some air I thought", the poor bastard had had 3 of the wings so I didn't blame him. For 40 minutes I sat waiting for him whilst losing control of various bodily functions.
Getting worried I went out to look for him and found him lying in the nearby communual garden of a block of flats, "Are you the ambulance" were his only words. It took me over 30 minutes to get him back to the tube. Once I did the stomach cramps hit hard and I couldn't sit or stand and there is nothing sadder than a man "stanting" all the way home.
This morning I had to go to the loo. It was the most dehumanising experience of my life. On top of this my fingers are still stinging as is the old chap, in spite of me washing my hands more than ten times and having a 20 minute shower. I feel like i've been raped by Shaquille O'Neal whilst simultaneously being punched by M Bison and shaving with a can of Lynx and a lighter.
I believe tonight is the last night you can get them if you fancy being as immasculated as me? |  |
| Sexy Asian dwarves wanted. |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 09:32 - Jul 18 with 7628 views | RangerJim |
haha this made me 
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| Fiery arse of doom on 09:44 - Jul 18 with 7586 views | Metallica_Hoop |
I thought you were going to recommend a new band. |  |
| Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 09:47 - Jul 18 with 7562 views | exiled_dictator |
There are two better ways of eating fiery hot food:
use a knife & fork, even if it is something like wings
only eat with one hand. if you are right handed, then eat with the left hand and reverse if left handed.
you should also always have a milk bases drink to hand, not water, carbonated drinks & defo not alcohol.
we do something called an afterburner; it burns on the way in & burns on the way out. seasoned lamb in spices & chilies. served with lentils & rice, we have our own fire brand chili that if anyone is stupid enough to ask for it, we will serve them it.
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| It's not what you've got; it's where you stick it. | | Poll: | Climate Change |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 09:47 - Jul 18 with 7566 views | A40Bosh |
| Fiery arse of doom on 09:44 - Jul 18 by Metallica_Hoop |
I thought you were going to recommend a new band. |
And they would sound right up your street Metallica! |  |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 09:50 - Jul 18 with 7553 views | A40Bosh |
| Fiery arse of doom on 09:47 - Jul 18 by A40Bosh |
And they would sound right up your street Metallica! |
and in fact the guttural vocal noises probably being made by Tobo and his mate post wings would likely have sounded like one of the better doom metal vocal tracks!!! | |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 09:57 - Jul 18 with 7523 views | toboboly |
| Fiery arse of doom on 09:47 - Jul 18 by exiled_dictator |
There are two better ways of eating fiery hot food:
use a knife & fork, even if it is something like wings
only eat with one hand. if you are right handed, then eat with the left hand and reverse if left handed.
you should also always have a milk bases drink to hand, not water, carbonated drinks & defo not alcohol.
we do something called an afterburner; it burns on the way in & burns on the way out. seasoned lamb in spices & chilies. served with lentils & rice, we have our own fire brand chili that if anyone is stupid enough to ask for it, we will serve them it.
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Dairy drinks were banned and I tried stripping the meat beforehand. No good I'm afraid. Walking like John Wayne atm
"Reach for the skies Pilgrim" | |
| Sexy Asian dwarves wanted. |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 10:07 - Jul 18 with 7496 views | Metallica_Hoop |
| Fiery arse of doom on 09:47 - Jul 18 by A40Bosh |
And they would sound right up your street Metallica! |
Full doom and Funeral Doom are not my favourites, I'm more of a Stoner/Sludge/Fuzz merchant plus they use a flanger 
Coming around to Drone and like Death-Doom which I suspect is what toboboly was thinking of when he named the band | |
| Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 10:14 - Jul 18 with 7472 views | BasingstokeR |
This should be the players punishment for not turning up to training |  | | |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 10:26 - Jul 18 with 7438 views | WokingR |
| Fiery arse of doom on 10:14 - Jul 18 by BasingstokeR |
This should be the players punishment for not turning up to training |
The way Anton runs with that fat swollen @rse of his I think it has already been done |  | | |
| Fiery arse of doom on 12:21 - Jul 18 with 7338 views | FredManRave |
Did you ask them to wrap up the remaining 4 wings so you could take them home with you? |  |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 12:28 - Jul 18 with 7311 views | YorkRanger |
made me laugh aloud |  | | |
| Fiery arse of doom on 12:32 - Jul 18 with 7294 views | Gloucs_R |
Best LFW post of 2013! |  |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 12:52 - Jul 18 with 7265 views | DWQPR |
The OP could always try some of this to ease the afterburn
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| Fiery arse of doom on 13:22 - Jul 18 with 7209 views | R_from_afar |
Ye-ow sounds nasty, though certainly amusing and entertaining for us lot!
It reminds me of a similar, though admittedly much less dramatic experience I had, recently, with a packet of wasabi peas. Talk about delayed effect. I was really hungry so after nibbling a few, I just crammed a handful into my gob as I strolled through town. Bad news: The contents of my nose dissolved, my eyes started streaming and my mouth was on fire. Luckily, the pain is short-lived. Still love those peas, though, just mustn't be so greedy in future.
RFA |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 15:04 - Jul 18 with 7114 views | toboboly |
Just a quick update.
Had another crap and it's like being given a cactus enema. Someone offered me an ice lolly and I seriously considered using it other than to eat. | |
| Sexy Asian dwarves wanted. |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 15:20 - Jul 18 with 7083 views | MoonshineSteve |
Wuss! |  |
| I am still Steve but no longer in Dagenham. |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 15:39 - Jul 18 with 7044 views | HarrowRoadR |
| Fiery arse of doom on 12:32 - Jul 18 by Gloucs_R |
Best LFW post of 2013! |
I agree 
Almost crying with laughter here.
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| Fiery arse of doom on 15:41 - Jul 18 with 7037 views | batmanhoop |
absolute classic, won't be rushing to that pub, don't know what is more scary, the food or the beer prices | | | |
| Fiery arse of doom on 15:41 - Jul 18 with 7039 views | RangerJim |
"are you the ambulance?" LMAO
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| Fiery arse of doom on 15:55 - Jul 18 with 7024 views | paesanu |
Brilliant |  |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 16:01 - Jul 18 with 7003 views | wombat |
| Fiery arse of doom on 15:55 - Jul 18 by paesanu |
Brilliant |
shame todays the last day though , would have made a great team building excercise for the club , hold a player down and feed him as many wings as possible and only stop when they tear up there existing contracts or offer to leave with no payout |  |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 16:28 - Jul 18 with 6970 views | Feldy |
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| Fiery arse of doom on 20:53 - Jul 18 with 6816 views | WokingR |
Blimey.
23 posts and over 800 views
Are you not getting a little bit worried over the amount of interest being shown in your back scuttle  | | | |
| Fiery arse of doom on 23:02 - Jul 18 with 6723 views | CiderwithRsie |
Its outrageous that the Duchess of Cambridge is selling this dangerous stuff.
You'd think being nine months pregnant she'd have enough to be going on with.
Still, if she's living in the Goldhawk Road now, maybe her sister will be down the Rangers? | | | |
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