| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 816068 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:57 - Jan 2 with 8202 views | NewBee |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:18 - Jan 2 by Esox_Lucius |
Second fastest is a motor Pike with a side Carp. |
Even faster if it's turbot-charged.
(Joke probably works better if told by a Frenchman) [Post edited 2 Jan 2021 15:57]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:03 - Jan 3 with 8076 views | Esox_Lucius |
My biology teacher asked me to name examples of two crustaceans.
I said Kings Crustacean and Charing Crustacean. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:28 - Jan 3 with 8052 views | loftboy |
What did the drummer name his twin girls?
Anna1 Anna2 |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:25 - Jan 5 with 7898 views | Esox_Lucius |
My wife accused me of having an affair with a girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
How could she say that? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:54 - Jan 5 with 7871 views | qprphil |
I was just thinking , if you put a vaccine in beer, and opened up all the pubs, the whole country would be vaccinated in a week. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:35 - Jan 5 with 7756 views | Esox_Lucius |
I pulled up at the traffic lights next to a stunning looking girl,
I smiled at her and wound my window down,
She smiled back and wound her window down.
I said "have you farted as well?" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:24 - Jan 7 with 7645 views | acricketer |
My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:51 - Jan 7 with 7602 views | GaryT |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:28 - Jan 3 by loftboy |
What did the drummer name his twin girls?
Anna1 Anna2 |
Esox gives a thumbs up to a joke he told himself less than a month ago!
This is taking Spackmaning to a new level! 
OK, OK, I promise not to point out any more Spackmans. |  | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:41 - Jan 7 with 7530 views | DavieQPR |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:54 - Jan 5 by qprphil |
I was just thinking , if you put a vaccine in beer, and opened up all the pubs, the whole country would be vaccinated in a week. |
Give it to Amazon drivers, they could vaccinate everyone within a week or two days if they have Prime. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:57 - Jan 9 with 7381 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:24 - Jan 7 by acricketer |
My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage... |
Six up votes yet the joke stinks. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:48 - Jan 10 with 7329 views | johann28 |
During the latest lockdown I've written my autobiography. The missus didn't enjoy it, she can't understand why I'm so obsessed with my car. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:36 - Jan 11 with 7256 views | Dorse |
Got a steering wheel stuck down my trousers. Tell you what, it's driving me nuts. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:40 - Jan 13 with 7135 views | Esox_Lucius |
I accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles.
My wife asked me if I was going to be OK.
I told her "my next trip to the toilet could spell disaster". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:16 - Jan 14 with 7055 views | loftboy |
I hired this bloke to do seven simple jobs to fix around my house. But he only done tasks number 1,3,5 and 7.
Apparently he was just an odd job man. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:27 - Jan 14 with 7039 views | hantssi |
Dear Sir
On behalf of Channel 4 may I thank you for your
application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new
reality show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed.
Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution
to the program if selected, I would point out that the
correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".
Kind regards
Channel 4. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:25 - Jan 14 with 6961 views | Dorse |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:27 - Jan 14 by hantssi |
Dear Sir
On behalf of Channel 4 may I thank you for your
application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new
reality show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed.
Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution
to the program if selected, I would point out that the
correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".
Kind regards
Channel 4. |
Damn it. Fat fingers Hantssi. Down arrowed whilst trying to up arrow.
What a hunt. | |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:41 - Jan 15 with 6907 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:27 - Jan 14 by hantssi |
Dear Sir
On behalf of Channel 4 may I thank you for your
application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new
reality show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed.
Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution
to the program if selected, I would point out that the
correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".
Kind regards
Channel 4. |
Aha, the seafood diet. when she see's food she eats it. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:29 - Jan 15 with 6795 views | Myke |
My Spanish mate rang me to tell me he is trying a new non-protein diet.
I said 'No whey Jose!' | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:40 - Jan 16 with 6681 views | Myke |
I said to one of my students "Give me a sentence beginning with'I'"
The kid goes "I is the..."
"No", I interrupted him, "Don't say 'I is', say "I am"'
The student hesitates.
"Go on", I encouraged him.
"I am the ninth letter of the alphabet" | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:00 - Jan 18 with 6580 views | johann28 |
Can't stand cricket. I mean, what's the point of watching someone endlessly hitting a ball with a piece of wood? Give me snooker any day. [Post edited 18 Jan 2021 22:40]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:40 - Jan 19 with 6462 views | Esox_Lucius |
There’s rumours that the vaccine is going to run out soon, the Pfizer chiefs predict a riot. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:01 - Jan 20 with 6396 views | Boston |
Mrs Boston works in the medical world and some time ago she handed me a compilation of doctors observations, a few I still remember....
The patient had no previous history of suicides.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient was experiencing numbness from her toes down.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:34 - Jan 20 with 6316 views | Esox_Lucius |
Just hearing reports of a man collapsing on the London Eye this morning. Paramedics on the scene said the man was coming around slowly. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:07 - Jan 21 with 6223 views | Esox_Lucius |
My mate’s tyre and puncture repair business is so successful he recently moved into a big, old Manor House in the country.
And to think he only started with a small flat. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:18 - Jan 21 with 6218 views | Myke |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:40 - Jan 13 by Esox_Lucius |
I accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles.
My wife asked me if I was going to be OK.
I told her "my next trip to the toilet could spell disaster". |
I am a member of a very exclusive scrabble club. But I have fallen behind with the membership fee payments and their solicitor is now sending me threatening letters | | | |
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