| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 816022 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:01 - Dec 10 with 7992 views | Myke |
Many years ago when my daughter was born, my wife warned me that if I gave her a silly name, she would leave me. So I called her Bluff | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:12 - Dec 10 with 7987 views | Boston |
Doctor - I’m awfully sorry to tell you that you’re suffering from Alzheimer’s and cancer.
Patient - Well thank god I’ve not got Alzheimer’s. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:28 - Dec 11 with 7805 views | Esox_Lucius |
My wife just asked if I had seen the dog bowl.
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I didn't even know it played cricket to be honest. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:41 - Dec 13 with 7679 views | Boston |
I got nicked for selling the Secret of Eternal Youth Pills yesterday. They were going to let me off with a caution 'till they noticed I had previous..in 1998, 1963, 1894 and 1756. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:47 - Dec 13 with 7672 views | Boston |
Did you know that too much sex can cause memory loss?
I read that in a magazine in a doctors waiting room, eleven years ago, page 37, 9.25 am. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:45 - Dec 14 with 7515 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:47 - Dec 13 by Boston |
Did you know that too much sex can cause memory loss?
I read that in a magazine in a doctors waiting room, eleven years ago, page 37, 9.25 am. |
Is it really true that the French word for a set of dentures is apéritif? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:02 - Dec 15 with 7443 views | johann28 |
Been married 35 years and I told the wife never to look in the safe. Well I got back from the supermarket the other day and she was looking at me funny and said 'sorry, but I looked in the safe.' I was shocked, 'didn't I tell you never to look in there?' 'yes, she says ' but curiosity got the better of me - you've got £10,000 in there....and 3 eggs. Why the hell have you got eggs in there?'
'well I'll be honest with you' I says. 'every time I've been unfaithful to you, I put an egg in there.'
'mmmm ' she say, 'well I guess 3 in 35 years isn't bad.'
'ah' I says, 'but when I've had a dozen, I sell them, and that's where the money came from'. |  | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:56 - Dec 19 with 7259 views | Esox_Lucius |
I have just been told I am getting a Bonopoly Collectors Edition game for Xmas.
It's just like regular Monopoly but the streets have no names. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:58 - Dec 19 with 7214 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:56 - Dec 19 by Esox_Lucius |
I have just been told I am getting a Bonopoly Collectors Edition game for Xmas.
It's just like regular Monopoly but the streets have no names. |
Problem with Monopoly is it only has one manufacturer. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:44 - Dec 22 with 7066 views | Esox_Lucius |
The DFS salesman said, "This sofa will seat five people without any problems."
"Fück that," I thought, "where am I supposed to find five people without any problems?" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:42 - Dec 26 with 6868 views | johncharles |
Is it okay to dip bread in your curry ?
Asking for my Nan [Post edited 26 Dec 2020 18:44]
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| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:33 - Dec 26 with 6806 views | Boston |
My Wife was sick to her stomach when I informed her I'd put ginger in the curry,
She loved that cat. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:38 - Dec 26 with 6795 views | Boston |
Red Curry had a punch up with Green Curry...
No winner, it was a Thai. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:11 - Dec 30 with 6610 views | Esox_Lucius |
I thought I heard Tubular Bells on my farm this winter, but It was just my cold field. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:12 - Dec 31 with 6501 views | stevec |
A man goes to the optician for his eye test. The optician asks him what he can see.
" I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theatres and closed pubs." That's perfect says the optician, you've got 2020 vision!
HAPPY NEW YEAR 🥳 |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:29 - Dec 31 with 6486 views | GaryT |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:45 - Nov 27 by Esox_Lucius |
I've just been to the Optician for my annual eye test.
The Optician put a contraption on my face ,and said " what can you see? " I said
"I see empty Airports and empty Football grounds,
I see closed theatres , closed pubs, closed Restaurants"
That's perfect says the Optician, you've got 2020 vision! |
Oh Steve, Spackmaning a joke about going to the opticians...I'll just leave that there. :-) |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:36 - Dec 31 with 6478 views | stevec |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:29 - Dec 31 by GaryT |
Oh Steve, Spackmaning a joke about going to the opticians...I'll just leave that there. :-) |
Shit, I knew I should have looked back further than December!
😄 | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:51 - Dec 31 with 6453 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:36 - Dec 31 by stevec |
Shit, I knew I should have looked back further than December!
😄 |
Go through the whole thread just to keep a smile on your face during this enforced period of holiday at home  | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:48 - Jan 1 with 6320 views | dontknowitall |
it's 3 months since I sent my hearing aid away for repair....
I've heard nothing since? |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:14 - Jan 1 with 6266 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:36 - Dec 31 by stevec |
Shit, I knew I should have looked back further than December!
😄 |
I'd be surprised if there weren't multiple repeats, including by myself! | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:26 - Jan 1 with 6252 views | Boston |
Man walks into Emergency, he's got a banana in his ear, carrot in his nose and a cucumber stuck up his arse! "Doctor, doctor, what the fcks wrong with me?". "I'm afraid you're not eating properly", replies the doc. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:52 - Jan 1 with 6177 views | Boston |
What a rotten start to the year, nowhere near over and I've had two disasters. First Mrs Boston got run over by a bus, then I got fired by TfL. [Post edited 2 Jan 2021 0:23]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:06 - Jan 2 with 6130 views | johncharles |
What’s the fastest fish in the world ?
A Motor Pike | |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:18 - Jan 2 with 6071 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:06 - Jan 2 by johncharles |
What’s the fastest fish in the world ?
A Motor Pike |
Second fastest is a motor Pike with a side Carp. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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