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Thread | Please, Please, Please.......
at 13:02 28 Oct 2024
….can Kieran McKenna get the Man Ure job. Apparently, he’s been a coach there before?
Binners old boy Tony Humes would be the perfect replacement at Poorman Road.
[Post edited 28 Oct 16:22]
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Thread | This Saturday
at 17:44 24 Oct 2024
Let's be perfectly clear, football at 12:30 is wrong and always will be.
I've just seen that the Salford supporters coach is leaving at 5:15am (i'm not sure if they are peddling the ###ing thing), but that is a ridiculous time to have to catch a coach for what isn't a particularly long journey. They deserve a medal, and the TV companies should be made to supply them with a voucher for beer and pies.
Just imagine a young supporter, working all week then out clubbing on a Friday night. By the time you've had a Doner (or a Donna if you're lucky - or both if she's a bit rough), there's no point heading for your pit, you might as well go straight to the coach, complete with chilli sauce down the front of your shirt.
https://www.salfordcityfc.co.uk/news/2024/september/16/colchester-united-a-ticke [Post edited 24 Oct 18:01]
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Thread | Chesterfield
at 12:01 22 Oct 2024
Just looking on the Chesterfield ticketing website, by my reckoning there are 155 tickets already sold in the away end! Looking forward to it.
Will our defence be terrified, or will they extinguish Will Griggs. Either way, he will still be the subject of probably the best football chant ever.
Never mind the result we just need true grit and a never give up attitude. Injuries will not last forever and anything from tonight will be a bonus.
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Thread | Wordsworth
at 17:43 21 Oct 2024
Senior Academy Individual Coach (AKA made up job)
Meanwhile we've sold our latest academy product (that we desperately need tomorrow night) to pay for it.
Shitfinger has excelled himself these last twelve months. The club is f#cked.
[Post edited 21 Oct 17:56]
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Thread | South Scottish Muppets!
at 10:36 1 Sep 2024
Carlisle have sacked Paul Simpson (and his entire backroom team) the day after the transfer window closes and after only four games, because they've only got 3 points, despite two games being away to Gillingham and MK Dongs. They were unlucky against the Trannies after dominating possession!
If you’re going to be that demanding, why not sack him at the end of last season? A new manager has got to wait until January to change things! Bunch of idiots.
[Post edited 1 Sep 11:02]
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Thread | It’s a tough one tonight
at 09:48 14 Jun 2024
If there’s ever a game where I’d want to see both sides lose, it would be tonight.
It would be funny if the perennially useless Jocks could pee on Germany’s bonfire, but we’d never hear the end of it. Videos of the skirt wearing ‘Girl Guide Army’ staggering around Munich singing about Maradona knocking England out, just about sums them up. The only thing they’ve got to sing about is an Argentinian knocking England out 40 years ago. Talk about living rent free in their heads.
It reminds me of years ago when the Scots had actually qualified for a world cup. I was driving home from work and Billy Bremner was a summarizer on the radio, when they were playing Brazil. In fairness, they got off to a great start and I think hit the crossbar in the opening minutes, only for Bremner to shout ‘Oh F##k’. After a short ‘tumbleweed’ moment the most professional of commentators carried on as if nothing had happened.
I see the German police are reportedly going to fine any English fans singing ‘Ten Bombers’. Great idea Fritz, what could possibly go wrong with needlessly winding up pissed English hooligans?
The joys of being English hey, we cannot sing a jovial piss take about defeating the murderous Nazis, but every nation on the planet is free to give us endless shit about the actions of our forefathers, be it colonialism, slavery, famine etc. etc. etc.
If you come up with the idea of creating mass extermination camps, then have to listen to a bit of ‘banter’ every two years, I would say you’re getting off quite lightly, compared to the crap the English have to take on just about everything. Can you imagine us issuing fines to the Irish every time they sung folksongs about the famine, it’s ridiculous.
As for the reported 500 Serbian hooligans looking for trouble, it would be appreciated if they could restrict their fisticuffs to any English ‘fans’ throwing bottles or the ticketless scum trying to fight their way into the ground.
Has anyone seen the Netflix documentary about the 2020 Euros final at Wembley? It’s a miracle no one was killed and sadly a blessing that England lost (and also that it started to rain), otherwise it could have been our darkest hour.
Every country has its idiots, but at least the French riot about the price of fuel. I don’t think irony comes any better than the ‘Gilets Jaunes’ petrol bombing government buildings, to protest about the price of petrol!!!
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Thread | Latest from Club Shop
at 14:13 10 Jun 2024
https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/cj77j2z1g8ko
In the future, when you buy a club shirt, you will get a bag of fuzzy felt letters, so you can change the name of your favorite journeyman as the season goes on.
"Colchester United boss Danny Cowley accepts that he will have to try and bring success to the club despite being unable to hang on to their most talented young players"
That's funny, cos in the Gazette it was fantastic business selling our best players?
Cough, coughbullshitcough
[Post edited 10 Jun 14:16]
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Thread | Col U Bingo
at 14:09 6 Jun 2024
New game for next season, the first person to tick off all of the following wins free away parking for a game of their choice.
“We would have won if it wasn’t for the ref”
“We should have stuck with John McGreal”
“The Farmers are losing 8-0”
“The lino was a disgrace”
“Joe Taylor scored again today”
“The steps are too steep”
“One of these days we are going to thrash some team”
“We just need to find another Parky”
“Braintree are two up at Roots Hall”
“We should never have let Tom Eastman go”
“As long as there’s two teams worse than us”
“I think England could do it this time”
Anyone hearing the following can claim an instant win.
“Anyone got a spare ticket for the play offs”
“I always look forward to a beer at the JCS”
“The pitch is looking good”
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Thread | What's all the fuss about?
at 10:36 26 Apr 2024
Obviously the unthinkable is not going to happen, but what is it about moving from tier 4 of the pyramid to tier 5 that is so scary?
To a Marsian, it wouldn’t appear any worse than any other relegation, especially as there’s no reselection to worry about these days.
Falling out of the Championship was inevitable, as we were only ever on vacation at those dizzy heights, dropping out of L1 was a kick in the Jacobs, but nothing we couldn’t take in our stride, but the slightest fear of the next drop and it’s like Father Christmas has just suffered life threatening injuries in a sleigh accident.
Next season, anyone playing Oldham, Hartlepool, Rochdale, Yeovil, Halifax, Saarffend etc. could be excused from thinking they are still in the league anyway. We are 25/1 to survive, yet you couldn’t get the proverbial Rizla between my @r$e cheeks (I appreciate that you wouldn’t want to attempt the feat, but that’s irrelevant).
My point is, that whatever happens, there’s no reason to commit Hari Kari, (or Harry Carpenter if you’re a pugilist). They will still sell beer in Wealdstone, it’s still going to rain on Bank Holidays, James C@rd@n will still be a tvvat and there will still be mince pies at xmas.
So for goodness sake just chill out…….
……..aaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE MAKE THIS STOP!!!!!!
[Post edited 26 Apr 10:37]
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Thread | Who gives a toss?
at 07:02 25 Apr 2024
Obviously we are going to win on Saturday, but just considering something......
If we lose 0-2 and Sutton win 3-1, I think I’m correct in saying that we would both have 44 points and we would both have a goal difference of -23. Both games between us ended 1-1 and we will have both scored 58 goals.
How do they then decide who stays up? Presumably the toss of a coin? If so, when and by whom?
At least we’ve got a 50% chance of winning a toss-up!
PS there are other scores that give the same scenario, e.g. 0-1 and 3-0, or 1-2 and 4-1 etc.
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Thread | Just one point, that’s all we ask!!!!!!
at 11:11 23 Apr 2024
Gutted I can’t be there tonight, I'm pumped already. I hope it’s a big crowd, we need the old Layer Road spirit to intimidate Donny.
All together………….
Every Saturday we follow…… the boys in blue and white.
We say it every weekend….. don’t go out tonight.
We used to be the Barside…. but now we’re s##t S1.
We are Col United….. and we’re going to league 1
Allez, Allez, Allez……. Allez, Allez, Allez.
WE ARE COL UNITED AND WE’RE GOING TO LEAGUE 1
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Thread | Time for a Party?
at 13:03 18 Apr 2024
Has anyone got an idea of how many tickets Col U have sold for County? It has the potential to be the biggest away party since Huish Park. The weather is forecast to be sunny intervals!
One more question, assuming the S1 faithful will be heading to Hooters pre-match, morally, how old is too old to drink there? (fortunately I don’t have many morals).
I’ve managed to get another pass for the weekend, so I hope to see a few of you at the ground.
Great to meet Wessex and Noah last week, the latter being the only bloke I know with bigger ‘kippers’ than myself (only by the slightest of margins), so I share concerns about the steps and the Community Stadium being designed for midgets.
Reminds me of the useless careers teacher at the Gilberd, who took one look at my super-sized ‘plates’ and asked if I’d ever considered joining the police! I can’t remember if I said F##K OFF out loud, but I think he could tell I wasn’t impressed. To put it into context, punk was at it’s height at the time, so the straight and narrow didn’t align with the mood of the youff.
Whilst feet are the only appendage that I will be comparing with Noah, I can confirm that I too have been asked a 1001 times by ladies ‘if it’s true what they say about men with big feet’. If you asked Mrs TOOT to describe me, I’m sure no one would be surprised if the words ‘Massive C@ck’ were included in her response.
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Thread | Oh Dear, Never Mind
at 19:50 7 Apr 2024
Good to see Wyscum losing at Wembley in injury time, in the Chuckaturd, Paint Pot, Papa Bristols, Sheild, Cup, Prem Reserves, Waste Off Time, Trophy thing.
Let’s hope they get expelled from the league for wearing that disgraceful non-league strip.
Form is temporary, class is permanent. [Post edited 7 Apr 19:54]
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Thread | On a Scale of 1 to 10
at 13:59 21 Mar 2024
How shit is this
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-68625041
Where 1 is - that’s a very good use of public money and looks just like him
…and 10 is - are you ####ing serious
Ms Best added she hoped it would "inspire young and old alike that whatever your dream, big or small, you can achieve it"
Well, they truly are the words of a prize idiot.
If that’s true Emma, why haven’t I won the lottery, why haven’t I scored a goal in the world cup, why haven’t I taken 10-52 at Lords, why haven’t I shagged Cameron Diaz?
All ‘arry had to do was dream? It’s not like he was born gifted was it Emma.
[Post edited 21 Mar 14:23]
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