| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 879528 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:09 - Dec 31 with 6136 views | Esox_Lucius |
I had to fix my hydraulic car lifting device today. I will be authoring a small booklet to help others who may need some help should they need it.
It's title is Jack: The Repair. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:02 - Jan 1 with 5925 views | Lblock |
Have made my New Years resolution
I’m going to chuck it all in and work with dolphins
You gotta have a porpoise in life |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:24 - Jan 1 with 5815 views | GaryT |
I've decided that from Jan 1st I'm only watching TV in 4K.
That's my new years resolution. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:03 - Jan 4 with 5585 views | johann28 |
Karl Marx of course is a household name.
Such a pity that no-one knows his sister Onya, who invented the starting gun. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:52 - Jan 13 with 5256 views | hantssi |
I’ve just seen that Elton Johns pet rabbit has apparently run the 100m in sub 10 secs!
It’s a Little Fit Bunny! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:22 - Jan 17 with 4921 views | Toast_R |
I was going to make a joke about Sodium but then I thought, Na, no one will get it. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:37 - Jan 20 with 4672 views | Boston |
I've been a house builder for decades but recently I've developed an apartment complex. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:45 - Jan 26 with 4306 views | hantssi |
What do you do with a criminal rainbow?
Put them in prism. It's a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect. | | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:43 - Jan 29 with 4064 views | Boston |
Do you know where you'd be without builders like me?
Outside. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:40 - Feb 2 with 3761 views | qprphil |
My wife said to me have you noticed the new couple that moved in opposite.?
He gives her a big kiss every morning when he leaves for work.
How come you never do that.?
For one thing I don't go to work, and for another thing, I don't know the woman. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:46 - Feb 2 with 3673 views | Boston |
Woman gets a phone call from her carpenter husband.
He informs her he's just cut off a finger.
"Oh dear god! The whole finger?" she asks.
"Nah, the one next to it." [Post edited 2 Feb 16:47]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:20 - Feb 4 with 3365 views | Esox_Lucius |
I jumped into a taxi in Colorado being driven by a Grizzly bear. My big mistake was shouting "Mall please" to it. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:38 - Feb 10 with 3070 views | Boston |
I build half a dozen staircases per year.
Got good enough at it that I decided to write an instruction manual.
It's a step-by-step guide. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:52 - Feb 10 with 2916 views | Esox_Lucius |
I've been researching my family tree and it appears my family are all descended from a family in Transylvania. I'm gutted, I can't even look at myself in the mirror. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:21 - Feb 12 with 2606 views | loftboy |
Harry Redknapp is having a dispute with Tottenham Hotspur after being handed a letter for an unpaid electricity bill at the Spurs training facilities for £15,000.
After ringing the club and saying that there must have been a mistake he was informed that he was the last person to enter the trophy room in 2008 and left the light on. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:37 - Feb 12 with 2508 views | loftboy |
Did you know if you talk to cows you get more milk?
It goes in one ear and out the Udder! | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:52 - Feb 13 with 2291 views | Esox_Lucius |
A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class. She starts out by drawing a
penis on the chalk board and asks the class, "Does anyone know what this is?" And little
Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"And the teacher says, "Are you sure about that?"
And little Johnny says, "Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big
long one to brush the babysitter's teeth." | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:04 - Feb 14 with 2170 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:52 - Feb 13 by Esox_Lucius |
A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class. She starts out by drawing a
penis on the chalk board and asks the class, "Does anyone know what this is?" And little
Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"And the teacher says, "Are you sure about that?"
And little Johnny says, "Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big
long one to brush the babysitter's teeth." |
The trouble with being a penis is that your neighbours an arsehole. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:27 - Feb 17 with 1772 views | Esox_Lucius |
I turned to my work colleague and said "There's a cold one calling my name out, fancy one too?"
Upon reflection, not the sort of thing that one should say in a mortuary. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:09 - Feb 21 with 1429 views | hubble |
Bloke comes up to me and says, hey, did you know, I'm one of the brightest stars in the night sky? I said you cannot be sirius. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:42 - Feb 21 with 1349 views | kensalriser |
Police were called to reports of a disturbance involving a number of rappers.
On arrival they discovered a grime scene. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:36 - Feb 22 with 1097 views | Boston |
What do Coppers do in Hospitals?
Make cardiac arrests. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:21 - Feb 23 with 850 views | Boston |
A drug dealer, posing as a Jehovah's witness, has been arrested and charged for distributing Class A narcotics.
Police suspicions were aroused when they saw people actually letting the man in. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:21 - Feb 23 with 718 views | GaryT |
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said, "Thanks."
I said, "Don't mention it." | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:48 - Feb 23 with 680 views | colinallcars |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:21 - Feb 23 by GaryT |
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said, "Thanks."
I said, "Don't mention it." |
I was arrested once for trying to steal an elephant.
My brief got me off though, it was a trumpety, trump, trump trumped up charge. |  | | |
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