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The 7 totems of Swansea 13:58 - Jan 15 with 5121 viewsJesusJack

Has anybody watched the Netflix series 'You'? It's an excellent series, very suspenseful with intriguing characters and is very well written.

Anyway, in one episode of the 2nd season, the main character learns of the '7 totems of LA', which are semi-unique sights/incidents of LA that, once you see all 7 you become a true Los Angelean and can 'never leave'.

The 7 totems are;
A roller blader in booty shorts
A "ghetto bird" (police helicopter)
Two girl’s in same dress at the same event
A pack of coyotes
A dog in a stroller
An off brand super hero
A palm tree on fire

This got me thinking to what the 7 totems of Swansea could possibly be? Things that any true Swansea resident would have encountered at some point but not necessarily a fixture (like a landmark) and are semi-unique to the place.

I'm struggling to think of any off the top of my head but I'm sure you clever/funny people might be able to come up with some good ideas...

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 14:29 - Jan 15 with 5070 viewsNeath_Jack

Beggers / junkies on high street fighting.
The big apple at Mumbles.
Rossi's chip shop.
Spoken to tea cosy pete.
Had a tattoo off Dai or Pie.
Taken a dump up at The Vetch toilets.
Been offered a scrap up the hill.

I want a mate like Flashberryjacks, who wears a Barnsley jersey with "Swans are my second team" on the back.
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 16:08 - Jan 15 with 4985 viewsCatullus

I tried but I couldn't come up with much you wouldn't see in any other similar sized town.

Just my opinion, but WTF do I know anyway?
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 16:42 - Jan 15 with 4944 viewsoldcob

Called a Cardiff fan 'scum',
Spewed up in Castle Gardens,
Eaten Joes Ice Cream,
Bought 'lava bread" in the market,
Been called a "Jack Bastard" and felt proud,
Riden on a bendy bus,
Had food poisoning from a dodgy Indian meal.
Gone picking cockles in Penclawdd.

There, that's eight.
[Post edited 15 Jan 2020 16:45]
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 17:12 - Jan 15 with 4899 viewstheloneranger

Meeting the late ...

1. Leonard from Pennard

2. Togo Bevan

3. Tea Cosy Pete

4. The Swansea Yank ... AND ...

5. Eating cockles and laverbread from Swansea Market.

6. Getting stuck in "Granny's Custard" down Swansea beach.

7. The Smith's who used to be on nearly every corner of Swansea shouting ...

"Eeevnen Powst"!!

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 17:23 - Jan 15 with 4891 viewsVincent_Vega

1. Had a Joe's

2. Been to Debenhams only to use the toilets

3.Had food at the Grape and olive for the view

4. Seen the obscene pricing of parking at the air show and parked in Parc Tawe

5. See lads getting refused entry as one of them is wearing a swans top even though you can see boys with rugby tops inside the same establishment

6. Contemplated life at the Hanbury

7. Looked at the Kinsgway and thought 'WTF are they doing to it now?!'

Boycott Shampoo......Demand Real Poo!!!

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 17:36 - Jan 15 with 4865 viewsBatterseajack

1. Parked at Tesco when shopping in the town center
2. Spotted an ex Swansea footballer on the piss in uplands
3. Spotted someone you went to school with in Swansea Life
4. Been banned from Wind Street
5. Bought smack from the High Street
6. Seen all Swansea episodes of Come Dine With Me (and be no more than 3 degrees of separation from a contestant in each episode)
7. Complained about the "bloody weather"
[Post edited 15 Jan 2020 17:36]
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 18:38 - Jan 15 with 4799 viewsJoe_bradshaw

Thrown a couple of quid into mad Margaret’s bucket.

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 19:45 - Jan 15 with 4745 viewsCatullus

The 7 totems of Swansea on 18:38 - Jan 15 by Joe_bradshaw

Thrown a couple of quid into mad Margaret’s bucket.


Ah Margaret, Mumbles finest!

Just my opinion, but WTF do I know anyway?
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 23:19 - Jan 15 with 4611 viewsKilkennyjack

To be a Jack ....

1. Been to watch swans at both vetch and liberty
2. Been to watch whites at st helens
3. Joe’s by guildhall
4. barons once a week min
5. Caswell Bay on double decker happy bus
6. Swim in old Leisure Centre, complete with wave machine
7. Watched Twin Town more than 10 times

Hotdogs for tea bois ?

Beware of the Risen People

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 07:48 - Jan 16 with 4506 viewsdickythorpe

1. Had food in sizzles.
2. Had food in Asian grill.
3. Drunk blastaways in quids Inn.
4. Vetch Field pasty.
5. Cricket at St Helen's on a boiling hot day.
6. Rugby at St Helen's on a drizzly day.
7. Studio 95
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 09:21 - Jan 16 with 4461 viewspikeypaul

1.Gone in the Cricketers for a quick pint before start of play but strolled in 1/2 way through the afternoon session.
2.Run from the North Bank at final whistle to watch the final scores from the window of a TV shop.
3.Woken up in Penlan on a Sunday morning with the women you meet last night in the Top Rank and seeing 3 kids around the bed who are curious who is mammys boyfriend this week.
4.Walked across the old slip bridge
5.Feed the swans in Singleton Park
6.waited 6 hours in Morriston A&E before realising you would have been home 4 hours ago if you had gone to Neath & Port Talbot Hospital.
7.Laughed at the leftie losers who think Antoniazzi,Harris or Davies are in it for the interests of the people and democracy and not the £100,000 after ex’s they pocket and access to any local event where they can get free food down their fat faces.
[Post edited 16 Jan 2020 9:43]

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 09:23 - Jan 16 with 4461 viewsGreatBritton

1, Lamb (?) dinner in Vaughan's on St Helen's Road
2. North Bank and East Stand
3. Dora's
4. Bejewelled navel gazing on a cold December Friday on Wind Street
5. Icky's vindaloo
6. Single screen cinemas - The Carlton, Plaza, Albert Hall, Elysium, Rialto
7. Welsh language speakers in Swansea Market
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 20:13 - Jan 16 with 4282 viewsGowerjack

The 7 totems of Swansea on 23:19 - Jan 15 by Kilkennyjack

To be a Jack ....

1. Been to watch swans at both vetch and liberty
2. Been to watch whites at st helens
3. Joe’s by guildhall
4. barons once a week min
5. Caswell Bay on double decker happy bus
6. Swim in old Leisure Centre, complete with wave machine
7. Watched Twin Town more than 10 times

Hotdogs for tea bois ?


I'm in!

Barons...😂

Plastic since 1974
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 22:12 - Jan 16 with 4227 viewslonglostjack

Great thread. What is there to add that hasn’t already been said? Corona pop and cockles with vinegar on a Saturday night. Copper Grill. Evening Post. Jersey Marine. Cork ferry. Pebble dashed pavements. Chemical smell. Talking the seventies mind..
[Post edited 16 Jan 2020 22:14]

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 22:16 - Jan 16 with 4210 viewslonglostjack

The 7 totems of Swansea on 23:19 - Jan 15 by Kilkennyjack

To be a Jack ....

1. Been to watch swans at both vetch and liberty
2. Been to watch whites at st helens
3. Joe’s by guildhall
4. barons once a week min
5. Caswell Bay on double decker happy bus
6. Swim in old Leisure Centre, complete with wave machine
7. Watched Twin Town more than 10 times

Hotdogs for tea bois ?


The wave machine !

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 22:23 - Jan 16 with 4196 viewsBanosswan

It's going to be generational.

Gravy and chips next to ritzy's
Quids inn on a Sunday
Fighting people on the pool tables in Top banana
Pot noodle and tip top in Ken bu kan (sp)

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 13:44 - Jan 17 with 4084 viewsthe_oracle

1. Fishing for mackerel off the end of Mumbles pier
2. Pulled a bird in town and shagged her on the beach
3. Said you wished the Mumbles train would come back
4. Gone for a moonlight swim naked ( any beach)
5. Got pissed on cider at 14
6. Played Swansea league football at Mynydd Newydd in the rain
7. Sat in the back of a double decker bus because you were a bad kid
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 18:12 - Jan 17 with 4029 viewsNeath_Jack

The 7 totems of Swansea on 22:16 - Jan 16 by longlostjack

The wave machine !


They've got a wave machine in LC2 haven't they?

Who remembers the diving pool there?

I want a mate like Flashberryjacks, who wears a Barnsley jersey with "Swans are my second team" on the back.
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 18:19 - Jan 17 with 4025 viewsJimmyGilligan

The 7 totems of Swansea on 22:23 - Jan 16 by Banosswan

It's going to be generational.

Gravy and chips next to ritzy's
Quids inn on a Sunday
Fighting people on the pool tables in Top banana
Pot noodle and tip top in Ken bu kan (sp)


Top Banana had a guy rip his shirt off like the Hulk and chase me and a couple of kids from College into the street in broad daylight once, crazy place
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 18:40 - Jan 17 with 4013 viewsjack2jack

The 7 totems of Swansea on 18:12 - Jan 17 by Neath_Jack

They've got a wave machine in LC2 haven't they?

Who remembers the diving pool there?


Yeah remember the diving pool well, and they had a indoor bowling green,on the top floor if I remember rightly.👍
Not sure about the wave machine, only used the gym in recent times.
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 19:00 - Jan 17 with 3998 viewsJoe_bradshaw

Had a bite to eat and something to drink in the Kardomah.

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The 7 totems of Swansea on 19:44 - Jan 17 with 3977 viewsNogginthenog

Heard a knock on the door and opened it to be confronted by a horse, mainly Penlan.

Tried to get 6 friends standing up on top of a post box

Played Weak Horses

Tried to burn down a wooden bus stop

Followed the source of Red River canyon all the way to Cwm Level

Eaten a Swansea Pie

Seen Janner put a penalty into the upper tier of the double decker
[Post edited 17 Jan 2020 19:47]
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The 7 totems of Swansea on 21:10 - Jan 17 with 3934 viewspikeypaul

The 7 totems of Swansea on 19:44 - Jan 17 by Nogginthenog

Heard a knock on the door and opened it to be confronted by a horse, mainly Penlan.

Tried to get 6 friends standing up on top of a post box

Played Weak Horses

Tried to burn down a wooden bus stop

Followed the source of Red River canyon all the way to Cwm Level

Eaten a Swansea Pie

Seen Janner put a penalty into the upper tier of the double decker
[Post edited 17 Jan 2020 19:47]


Geoff told me a few times he only ever missed one penalty.

To think it’s 7 years next Tuesday since his funeral.

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