| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful 18:17 - Dec 3 with 4377 views | Dorse |
Someone has taken my Christmas cake. I think it might be stollen. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 19:15 - Dec 3 with 4301 views | Toast_R |
Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza.Â
The salesgirl asked him:- 'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?' |  | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 19:39 - Dec 3 with 4289 views | Dorse |
Darth Vader says to Luke Skywalker that he knows what Obi Wan has got him for Christmas.
'How do you know?' asks Luke.
'I have felt his presents...' | |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 19:42 - Dec 3 with 4286 views | welwynranger |
Father Christmas is getting ready to go out on Christmas Eve.
His wife Mary (Mary Christmas) , looked out of the window and said to him.
“If you’re going out put your big red coat on it looks like rain dear. |  | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 20:17 - Dec 3 with 4241 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
Q: Why does Father Christmas have a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year. |  | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 21:45 - Dec 3 with 4161 views | dontknowitall |
I have opened a shop that sells live turkeys for Christmas.
They're flying off the shelves... [Post edited 3 Dec 2018 22:03]
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 22:44 - Dec 3 with 4092 views | DannyPaddox |
Q: What Christmas carol should you sing in a German lunatic asylum?
A: God rest ye Gerry mental men. [Post edited 4 Dec 2018 0:05]
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 07:33 - Dec 4 with 3962 views | welwynranger |
Arrived home last night shocked to find windows open and stuff missing.
I knew I should have bought the misses her own advent calendar | | | |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 08:15 - Dec 4 with 3943 views | HantsR |
Why did 3 wise men go off in search of a little roquefort, a mini gouda and babybel?
They had come to see the baby cheeses. |  | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 09:14 - Dec 4 with 3900 views | R_from_afar |
My mate asked me what I was having for Christmas dinner. I said it would be turkey, with all the trimmings. He said he was having octopus this year. I asked why on earth he would have that. He replied that it's so everyone gets a leg.
Oh dear....  The bloke serving in our local post office is to blame for that one, honest.
RFA |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 09:17 - Dec 4 with 3892 views | Mick_S |
“Which author steals train sets from under the Christmas tree?
"Nick Hornby.” |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 09:38 - Dec 4 with 3873 views | stonebridgers |
For Sale One Wooden Leg. The ideal stocking filler. | |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 09:45 - Dec 4 with 3859 views | hubble |
Christmas - the commercialised nonsense that it has become - is a joke.
Bah humbug. |  |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 10:28 - Dec 4 with 3822 views | Dorse |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 09:45 - Dec 4 by hubble |
Christmas - the commercialised nonsense that it has become - is a joke.
Bah humbug. |
Alright, who had Hud in the humbug sweepstake? Claim your prize of two tickets to 'Mark Hughes On Ice' now.
This one from my seven year old daughter, Tantor:
What goes 'Oh Oh Oh'?
Santa walking backwards. | |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 13:28 - Dec 4 with 3698 views | welwynranger |
The Royals always play a cricket match on Boxing Day.
Prince Charles bats , Camilla Parker......
I will get my coat | | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 13:34 - Dec 4 with 3683 views | Mick_S |
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”
His wife asked, “How do you know?”
“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.” | |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 13:47 - Dec 4 with 3666 views | DannyPaddox |
A man is in a bar having a drink when he notices a well dressed guy come through the door with five beautiful women all over him. He also happens to have a mince pie for a head. The man at the bar watches him flirt and buy rounds and flash bankrolls of money and get all the attention in the room for an hour before getting up the nerve to approach the man. "Excuse me, Sir..." he says, "I have to ask...I see you here with all these beautiful women, and all this money, and all this attention...but I noticed you have a mince pie for a head. How did all this happen for you?" The man with a mince pie for a head replies "Well I was walking on a beach one day when I found a magic lamp. I rubbed it and a genie popped out and granted me three wishes. First, I wished for all the attention from the hottest women in the world. Second, I wished for an unlimited supply of money. Third, and this is where I kind of fûcked it up, I wished to have a mince pie for a head. | | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 16:04 - Dec 4 with 3576 views | johann28 |
What did Mickey Mouse get for Christmas?
A Mark Hughes watch |  | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 07:42 - Dec 5 with 3291 views | welwynranger |
Father Christmas required . Free uniform, 48 weeks holiday . | | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 17:38 - Dec 5 with 3166 views | RamseyR |
Advent calenders.......their days are numbered |  | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 21:54 - Dec 5 with 3034 views | derbyhoop |
Do you know about Randolph, the brown nosed reindeer. He's 2nd in line to Rudolph. But doesn't stop as quickly. |  |
| "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain)
Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky |
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| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 22:07 - Dec 5 with 3023 views | Hitch |
Last year santa gave me a dog.He said he rescued the dog from a zoo where he had been the only animal there. It was a Shih Tzu. |  | | |
| Christmas Jokes - Frankly Awful on 16:44 - Dec 6 with 2904 views | loftboy |
What illness do you get if you eat Christmas decorations....
Tinselitis!! 🎅 |  |
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