| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 816774 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:49 - Aug 18 with 7602 views | Sonofpugwash |
Me and my companion were thinking about going on a Scandinavian jaunt by a hired classic car.Maybe a Fjord Escort? |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:53 - Aug 19 with 7331 views | Boston |
They knock those electric buses, but I tell ya they're bloody warm in the winter.
Until the Fire Brigade arrives. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:08 - Aug 19 with 7315 views | Boston |
Two farm labourers are heading to the pub after work.
Suddenly they hear the roar of a motorcycle and as it passes are shocked to see the rider is headless.
Spooked by this apparition, they double down on their walk to the pub.
A few minutes later, they are startled by the sound of a bicycle bell, doubly so when the bike goes by, for the cyclist is also headless.
They continue walking when Mick turns to Jim and says "I'm thinking it may be a good idea to carry that scythe on your other shoulder". | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:44 - Aug 21 with 6935 views | colinallcars |
I went to the doctor's yesterday and told him I was worried about acne.
He said “well, try moving to 'aringey” |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:33 - Aug 21 with 6693 views | Boston |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:05 - Aug 23 with 6328 views | johann28 |
I can't believe I locked myself out of the car today.
However, I managed to get in by rubbing my leg on the lock.
Luckily, I was wearing my khaki trousers. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:19 - Aug 23 with 6103 views | Esox_Lucius |
I used to live a stones throw from a family who all died from mysterious head injuries. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:50 - Aug 23 with 5980 views | Sonofpugwash |
A man was on a walk stopped, and bent down and said to himself.
"I wonder what animal made these tracks?"
Then a train hit him. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:05 - Aug 23 with 5910 views | dandaqpr |
A farmer walked into a pub and said “ help all of my female sheep have escaped “ someone replies, sorry mate that sounds like a ewe problem. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:14 - Aug 23 with 5841 views | Boston |
Farmer Mick was delighted to receive an award from the NFU for his Scarecrow.
Apparently he was outstanding in his field. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:00 - Aug 24 with 5507 views | Sonofpugwash |
Doctor asked how active I was.
Me, "Yesterday, I walked 7 km, waded through 3 lakes, had a look around the woods, and ran away when I saw a snake."
Doc, " that's impressive. Is it part of a programme?"
Me, " no, I'm just rubbish at golf." | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:08 - Aug 25 with 5131 views | Boston |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:06 - Aug 27 with 4602 views | Esox_Lucius |
Chris Kemp joke from Saturday.
"I'm quite a magician you know"
"Yeah, go on"
"I can make chocolate disappear"
"Groan, ffs Chris"
"Well I have a few Twix up my sleeve". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:21 - Aug 28 with 4339 views | Dorse |
I switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack. She hasn't noticed yet but the thyme is cumin. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:39 - Aug 28 with 4186 views | johann28 |
My son told me he didn't want to go to school this morning because all the kids made fun of him, called him names and were generally making his life an absolute misery, leaving him in tears at the end of the day.
I had to tell him straight, 'Sorry, mate, you just have to go to school'.
'But why?'
'Because you're the headmaster'. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:03 - Aug 29 with 3865 views | Sonofpugwash |
I finally got to see my GP on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my bollocks.
He totally ignored me and continued pushing his trolley around in Tesco. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:02 - Sep 3 with 3567 views | qprphil |
My mate said to me, " I don't know if Facebook has ever caused the lame to walk, but it sure has caused the dumb to speak. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:57 - Sep 3 with 3371 views | Boston |
I'm terrified of lifts.
I'm taking steps to avoid them. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:55 - Sep 3 with 3271 views | ChrisNW6 |
A Frog got his DNA tested and it turns out he's part English, part Irish...and a Tad Pole | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:06 - Sep 3 with 3248 views | Esox_Lucius |
If you ever date a dominatrix, never suggest to her that it's time to hit the sack. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:52 - Sep 8 with 2713 views | Boston |
Australians can't resist coming to Britain.
They have this strange fascination to revisit the scene of the crime. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:09 - Sep 10 with 2372 views | Esox_Lucius |
As I was driving this morning I skidded on a load of cream cheese and chives; it was a sudden dip in the road. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:30 - Sep 10 with 2269 views | kensalriser |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:09 - Sep 10 by Esox_Lucius |
As I was driving this morning I skidded on a load of cream cheese and chives; it was a sudden dip in the road. |
They were selling sweet treats at the monastery open day last week.
I had a carmelite trifle. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:44 - Sep 12 with 1909 views | loftboy |
They’ve discovered which one of king Arthur’s Knights built the round table………
It was Sir Cumference |  |
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