| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 819610 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:45 - Oct 10 with 11124 views | loftboy |
POLICE UPDATE
Thieves who stole 3 ton of tarmac have been in hiding for 2 months now. A police spokesman said " We are hoping they will resurface soon |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:27 - Oct 14 with 10849 views | Boston |
What's the difference between broccoli and a bogey?
Kids don't eat broccoli.
What did 'progressives' use before candles?
Electricity. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:23 - Oct 16 with 10619 views | NewBee |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:23 - Oct 10 by loftboy |
Janet Street Porter was in a restaurant, she called the waiter over and said, "Could I have a large aperitif?" The waiter said, "I fûcking doubt it Janet." |
Reminds me of the quip by Graham Carr that when he interviewed Street-Porter, it sounded like two seagulls fighting over a chip. [Post edited 16 Oct 2022 17:28]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:52 - Oct 28 with 10308 views | johann28 |
So, this genie appeared, and told me he would grant me three wishes.
'Great', I said, 'I wish for a world without lawyers'.
'Your wish is granted', he says, 'Now you have no wishes left.'
'Hang on, says i, 'You said I had three wishes you bastard!'
He shrugs. 'So sue me.' |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:31 - Oct 30 with 10150 views | BlackCrowe |
I married my wife because she said she was a millionaire.
Turns out she makes hats. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:46 - Oct 30 with 10139 views | Sonofpugwash |
I hate being the only pissed person at a party.
It totally ruined my nephew's 3rd birthday. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:40 - Oct 30 with 9994 views | horshamHoop |
So I said to my girl friend , “There’s only one thing that scares me at Halloween.” And she said, “which is?”
And I said, “exactly!” | | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:28 - Nov 1 with 9716 views | Sonofpugwash |
My Dad always said that it was rude to point.
Great Dad, terrible bricklayer. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:35 - Nov 1 with 9713 views | Sonofpugwash |
I did some James Brown numbers at karaoke last night.
They crowd loved me,they kept shouting "you are soul!" | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:54 - Nov 4 with 9455 views | Sonofpugwash |
My missus just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.
Apparently the response of "don't worry love, your boobs cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:05 - Nov 4 with 9358 views | Esox_Lucius |
Years ago I dated a girl who was a radiologist and on my birthday she would always send me an X-Ray of her chest. I know it was a bit weird but her heart was in the right place. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:00 - Nov 7 with 9181 views | loftboy |
Anyone wanting yodelling lessons , please form an orderly orderly orderly Queue. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:35 - Nov 8 with 8962 views | Sonofpugwash |
Two cannibals are eating a clown and one turns to the other and says"Does this taste funny to you?" | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:41 - Nov 8 with 8861 views | Sonofpugwash |
McDonalds are putting endangered species on their menu now.
Had a Quarter Panda with cheese for lunch. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:01 - Nov 8 with 8844 views | Esox_Lucius |
A man receives a text from his wife: Can you pick up a loaf of bread after work as the bakery is on your way? Let your girlfriend Valerie know when you have it.
Man: Why did you say my girlfriend Valerie?
Woman: It was to make you reply so I knew you had seen the text.
Man: Thank goodness I thought you had found out about Valerie.
Woman: What!!! Where are you now?
Man just getting to the bakery.
20 mins later... Woman: I'm at the bakery, where are you?
Man: Still at work, but as you are there you might as well pick up the loaf of bread. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:13 - Nov 8 with 8700 views | Sonofpugwash |
Boy George has been attacked by a reptile in the jungle.
Staff are looking for a calmer chameleon. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:51 - Nov 16 with 8243 views | Sonofpugwash |
I'm getting my missus a new fridge for a Christmas present.
Can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:03 - Nov 20 with 8041 views | Esox_Lucius |
Dear Deirdre I’m 16yrs old and pregnant, my boyfriend is 20yrs older than me he’s married and is a drug dealer, he carries a gun and he’s just gotten out of prison.
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How do I tell my parents he’s a Chelsea fan? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:58 - Nov 20 with 7992 views | Boston |
Had to fire my electrician yesterday, his work was shocking. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:06 - Nov 20 with 7901 views | loftboy |
My wife said she’s taking the kids and leaving me, because of my obsession with Horse racing.
Aaaaaand, they’re off. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:59 - Nov 20 with 7884 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:06 - Nov 20 by loftboy |
My wife said she’s taking the kids and leaving me, because of my obsession with Horse racing.
Aaaaaand, they’re off. |
S'funny, she told me it was because you could only give her a short head. [Post edited 21 Nov 2022 0:01]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:54 - Nov 22 with 7714 views | Sonofpugwash |
The man who invented the Wind Chill Factor was buried yesterday.
He was 64 but it seemed like 82. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:39 - Nov 24 with 7483 views | BlackCrowe |
I met a Dalek who was looking for directions home, asking where he was from he replied "'Devon mate'.
I replied
"oh whereabouts in Devon/ "
"Exeter mate" | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:30 - Nov 24 with 7356 views | Esox_Lucius |
I just heard a woodpecker call me paranoid in Morse code! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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