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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 819855 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 15:25 - Jul 24 with 8609 viewsSonofpugwash

My partner piped up last night..
"You are gullible and financiallly irresponsible!"
Oh yeah?Wait till she hears I've won the Nigerian Lottery.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

3
Corny Joke Warning on 15:34 - Jul 24 with 8581 viewsBoston

An artist friend of mine (knowing I'm a dog lover), asked if there was a good time to paint a customer's pit bulls?

"When they're asleep", I replied.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 18:21 - Jul 24 with 8494 viewsBoston

Just had a neighbourhood news alert that 10,000 hares have escaped from a local animal sanctuary.

Police are combing the area.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Jul 25 with 8338 viewsEsox_Lucius

One of the Arctic Monkeys has sold his collection of rugs to a former Italian midfielder. He was quoted as saying "they'll look good on Zidane's floor".

The grass is always greener.

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Corny Joke Warning on 09:39 - Jul 25 with 8305 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Jul 25 by Esox_Lucius

One of the Arctic Monkeys has sold his collection of rugs to a former Italian midfielder. He was quoted as saying "they'll look good on Zidane's floor".


Prefer the one where it's a French midfielder....

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

2
Corny Joke Warning on 19:49 - Jul 25 with 8191 viewshantssi

Absolutely disgusting behaviour I saw on the beach at Great Yarmouth earlier today.

I was on the seafront and saw a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of loads of kids, suddenly the woman smacked the guy in the head and it all kicked off. There was a massive brawl and someone called the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and took his baton to the man, the guy managed to snatch it off him and began assaulting the copper AND his wife!
Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept up and stole all the sausages !!
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Corny Joke Warning on 22:02 - Jul 25 with 8097 viewsBoston

hantssi was sitting at a bar when a very ugly lady sat down next to him.

She had a squirrel on her shoulder, leaning forward she whispers, "tell me what type of animal this is, and I'll sleep with you?"

"erm" say hants, "its a crocodile"

"Close enough" she replies.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 22:05 - Jul 25 with 8095 viewsBoston

What's the difference between alligator and crocodile?

Spelling and pronunciation.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
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Corny Joke Warning on 08:56 - Jul 26 with 7986 viewshantssi

Corny Joke Warning on 22:02 - Jul 25 by Boston

hantssi was sitting at a bar when a very ugly lady sat down next to him.

She had a squirrel on her shoulder, leaning forward she whispers, "tell me what type of animal this is, and I'll sleep with you?"

"erm" say hants, "its a crocodile"

"Close enough" she replies.


You must have followed me around when we were younger as it sounds very much like me!!
Never say never!
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Corny Joke Warning on 14:11 - Jul 26 with 7911 viewsSonofpugwash

These new edible insect snacks are flying off the shelves.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

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Corny Joke Warning on 19:12 - Jul 26 with 7807 viewsEsox_Lucius

Corny Joke Warning on 09:39 - Jul 25 by Lblock

Prefer the one where it's a French midfielder....


This happened whilst he was playing for Juventus.

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 20:39 - Jul 26 with 7740 viewsToast_R

In Poundland earlier and bought two Harry Potter brooms. Quid each
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Corny Joke Warning on 00:53 - Jul 27 with 7664 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 08:56 - Jul 26 by hantssi

You must have followed me around when we were younger as it sounds very much like me!!
Never say never!


Oh Yeah! Was your favourite position the WOW?

Y'know, when you flipped your girlfriend's mom over.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 10:03 - Jul 27 with 7523 viewsSonofpugwash

(borrowed)

I went to to a fancy dress party dressed as a harp.The host asked "what have you come as?"
I said "A harp"
He said "That's too small to be a harp."
So I said "are you calling me a lyre?"

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

10
Corny Joke Warning on 10:12 - Aug 2 with 7120 viewsSonofpugwash

I'm being urged to join The Flat Earth Society.
Apparently they've got members all over the globe.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 14:37 - Aug 2 with 6999 viewsBoston

Know why there are no tv's in Afghanistan?

Because they have a tellyban.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 22:32 - Aug 2 with 6828 viewsCliveWilsonSaid

I had a Hawaiian Pizza the other day

Unfortunately it was burnt



Should have cooked it on aloha temperature

Poll: Expectations for this season?

4
Corny Joke Warning on 01:44 - Aug 3 with 6757 viewsBoston

Never order meringues in Australia, they fcking hate 'em.

Yeah, Aussies boo meringues.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 08:38 - Aug 3 with 6678 viewsEsox_Lucius

Dad: Someone in this household is possessed by an owl.
Son: Who?
Dad: Ahaaaaa!!!

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 11:13 - Aug 3 with 6622 viewsMyke

True story. I bought a new toilet seat the other day (exciting life I have). Went to Homebase,picked out one that I (my wife) liked and went up to the young girl on checkout. She has her scanner and looks all over the box for the barcode. I couldn't resist saying,"Well it's a toilet seat so it's probably on the BOTTOM" - cue red-faced young lady.
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Corny Joke Warning on 21:04 - Aug 3 with 6440 viewsBoston

Would you be an English teacher, Myke?

Five vowels, eight consonants, a comma and an exclamation mark appeared at Ealing Magistrates' today.

They're due back next week for sentencing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And, if you're wondering, double negatives are a big no no.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 22:40 - Aug 3 with 6380 viewsMyke

Corny Joke Warning on 21:04 - Aug 3 by Boston

Would you be an English teacher, Myke?

Five vowels, eight consonants, a comma and an exclamation mark appeared at Ealing Magistrates' today.

They're due back next week for sentencing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And, if you're wondering, double negatives are a big no no.


.
[Post edited 3 Aug 2022 23:02]
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Corny Joke Warning on 01:38 - Aug 4 with 6344 viewsBoston

What do you get if you cross a chef and a waitress?

A cold dinner.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 01:54 - Aug 4 with 6341 viewsBoston

Ooops, just noticed the previous post...apologies Myke if you thought that was a dig, not at all, just a couple of amusing Eng. Lang. moments for the student body.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 20:56 - Aug 4 with 6146 viewsRebalhoop

Corny Joke Warning on 22:05 - Jul 25 by Boston

What's the difference between alligator and crocodile?

Spelling and pronunciation.


What’s the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison?

You can’t wash your hands in a Buffalo...
0
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