| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread 14:36 - Dec 21 with 4443 views | dickythorpe |
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsillitis! [Post edited 21 Dec 2019 14:36]
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 15:55 - Dec 21 with 3711 views | Muteswan |
Pulled one of your Christmas crackers already.😉 |  | | |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 16:02 - Dec 21 with 3698 views | WarwickHunt |
Edit: beat me to it... [Post edited 21 Dec 2019 16:16]
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 16:12 - Dec 21 with 3671 views | Darran |
A penguin is driving along, eating an ice cream, when his car starts making a funny noise. He decides to stop off at the local garage.
The polar bear mechanic lifts the bonnet, pokes around, then shakes his head. Looking up at the driver he says, 'Looks like you've blown a seal, mate!'
'Nah.' says the penguin. 'I've been eating ice cream.' |  |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 16:25 - Dec 21 with 3650 views | lifelong |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 16:12 - Dec 21 by Darran |
A penguin is driving along, eating an ice cream, when his car starts making a funny noise. He decides to stop off at the local garage.
The polar bear mechanic lifts the bonnet, pokes around, then shakes his head. Looking up at the driver he says, 'Looks like you've blown a seal, mate!'
'Nah.' says the penguin. 'I've been eating ice cream.' |
A giant chicken is towing a broken down car down the motorway, it crashes into a bridge and the chicken runs off.
The Police arrived the scene and they ask the driver of the car what happened and he said, “ Big Hen’s gone”. |  | | |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 16:36 - Dec 21 with 3631 views | jack2jack |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 16:25 - Dec 21 by lifelong |
A giant chicken is towing a broken down car down the motorway, it crashes into a bridge and the chicken runs off.
The Police arrived the scene and they ask the driver of the car what happened and he said, “ Big Hen’s gone”. |
A sprig of holly accidentally bumps into Santa, Santa turns round and says
"Watch were your going you prick"!  |  | | |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 17:14 - Dec 21 with 3586 views | sainthelens |
Bennytheblue was lying in bed as a kid waiting for Santa to come...
Then there was an awkward silence as he got dressed and left. |  | | |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 19:26 - Dec 21 with 3485 views | BrynCartwright |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 17:14 - Dec 21 by sainthelens |
Bennytheblue was lying in bed as a kid waiting for Santa to come...
Then there was an awkward silence as he got dressed and left. |
Mate I normally love your posts but that is just dreadful. FFS! |  |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 19:29 - Dec 21 with 3477 views | sainthelens |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 19:26 - Dec 21 by BrynCartwright |
Mate I normally love your posts but that is just dreadful. FFS! |
Thank you kind sir, we aim to please. | | | |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 19:31 - Dec 21 with 3476 views | exiledclaseboy |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 17:14 - Dec 21 by sainthelens |
Bennytheblue was lying in bed as a kid waiting for Santa to come...
Then there was an awkward silence as he got dressed and left. |
I shouldn’t have but I did lol |  |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 19:47 - Dec 21 with 3462 views | theloneranger |
With Christmas nearly here and New Year just around the corner.
I would like to share a personal experience with my family & friends about drinking and driving.
As you may know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time especially on the way home after a " Session" out with friends.
Well, yesterday I was out for an all dayer with family and friends, and had several pints followed by some rather nice brandy.
Feeling very happy, I still had the sense to know that I may be over the limit.
That's when I did something that I've never done before.
I took a taxi home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a taxi they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without any incident.
This was a great relief and surprise, because I had never driven a taxi before.
I don't even know where I got it from, and now that it's in my garage, I don't know what the fvck to do with it ...!! [Post edited 21 Dec 2019 19:48]
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| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 20:45 - Dec 21 with 3410 views | WarwickHunt |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 19:26 - Dec 21 by BrynCartwright |
Mate I normally love your posts but that is just dreadful. FFS! |
C’mon, Bryn mun - it’s Xmas! | | | |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 21:11 - Dec 21 with 3369 views | BrynCartwright |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 20:45 - Dec 21 by WarwickHunt |
C’mon, Bryn mun - it’s Xmas! |
Ha Ha. Funny joke about an old man ejaculating in a young boy's bed.
Ho Ho.
Truly Wunderbar!
Slap on back for japester making jokes about paedo.
Ho Ho, | |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 21:45 - Dec 21 with 3324 views | sainthelens |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 21:11 - Dec 21 by BrynCartwright |
Ha Ha. Funny joke about an old man ejaculating in a young boy's bed.
Ho Ho.
Truly Wunderbar!
Slap on back for japester making jokes about paedo.
Ho Ho, |
Tell me Bryn, you must giggled just once at a Jimmy Carr gag.
Just bitta fun pal. | | | |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 21:59 - Dec 21 with 3305 views | BrynCartwright |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 21:45 - Dec 21 by sainthelens |
Tell me Bryn, you must giggled just once at a Jimmy Carr gag.
Just bitta fun pal. |
Yes I have mate. May have gone over the top there.
Understand where you are coming from (sic).
In fact most of Jimmy's jokes are like that, and he is one of my favourite comedians, along with Frankie Boyle.
Let's move on pal. | |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 22:19 - Dec 21 with 3275 views | sainthelens |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 21:59 - Dec 21 by BrynCartwright |
Yes I have mate. May have gone over the top there.
Understand where you are coming from (sic).
In fact most of Jimmy's jokes are like that, and he is one of my favourite comedians, along with Frankie Boyle.
Let's move on pal. |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 22:30 - Dec 21 with 3266 views | dickythorpe |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 23:21 - Dec 21 with 3229 views | Joe_bradshaw |
What do young elves learn at school?
The elfabet. |  |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 23:39 - Dec 21 with 3214 views | Thrasher6 |
Advent calendars...their days are numbered... |  |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 01:24 - Dec 22 with 3177 views | DJack |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 21:11 - Dec 21 by BrynCartwright |
Ha Ha. Funny joke about an old man ejaculating in a young boy's bed.
Ho Ho.
Truly Wunderbar!
Slap on back for japester making jokes about paedo.
Ho Ho, |
So what jokes are allowed under your rule? |  |
| It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. - Carl Sagan |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 07:35 - Dec 22 with 3116 views | JACKMANANDBOY |
Father Christmas goes to the doctor complaining that he has a mince pie stuck up his bum. The doctor says " no problem I have some cream for that'. |  |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 08:15 - Dec 22 with 3107 views | Best_loser |
Knock knock |  | | |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 09:07 - Dec 22 with 3084 views | Joe_bradshaw |
Why is Santa always happy?
He knows where all the naughty girls live. | |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 11:09 - Dec 22 with 3040 views | jackportis |
Knock knock...
Who’s there....
Bigish....
Bigish who?....
No thanks. |  |
| Jackportis the brand. “A gifted posterâ€, “planet swans have a real talent on their hands in the name of Jackportis†sky sports 2018. . JP fully supports posters of LBG, mx orientation and ethnic minority groups. Update - now fully supporting the pansexual community. |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 11:10 - Dec 22 with 3038 views | jackportis |
| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 11:09 - Dec 22 by jackportis |
Knock knock...
Who’s there....
Bigish....
Bigish who?....
No thanks. |
As in the homeless paper for those that didn’t get it | |
| Jackportis the brand. “A gifted posterâ€, “planet swans have a real talent on their hands in the name of Jackportis†sky sports 2018. . JP fully supports posters of LBG, mx orientation and ethnic minority groups. Update - now fully supporting the pansexual community. |
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| Planet Swans Christmas jokes thread on 12:14 - Dec 22 with 3000 views | theloneranger |
The wife gave me £50 for christmas shopping and told me to buy something that would make her look sexy.
You should have seen her face when I came home drunk ....!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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