| Thinking about 'the inevitable' 10:52 - Jul 30 with 9519 views | MrSwerve |
Hopefully not too morbid a post for a Monday morning.
I'm now in my 30's, with my parents approaching their mid to late 60's, and I find myself increasingly thinking about how I will cope or learn to accept when the inevitable does happen. Thankfully they are still both in good health (touch wood), so there is nothing to worry about as such, I just find myself thinking about it more and more.
Is this something that sounds familiar to posters on here, and how did you cope when your parents did pass? Maybe the sharing of stories will also be some 'self help'. |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 21:48 - Jul 30 with 2080 views | raynor94 |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:19 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Yes if you are child/young teenager. |
Truly shocking, and you wonder why you get banned on here  |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 22:03 - Jul 30 with 2052 views | JackBaston |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 18:28 - Jul 30 by MrSwerve |
Sorry to hear this.
Maybe the fact that I've had the death of two school friends in the last year has subconsciously made me think about it. I think 'worry' is probably the wrong adjective for how I feel...I'm not losing sleep over it and it's not stressing me out. I just see friends with their parents dying and think to myself, dear god, how must that feel? |
Makes total sense dude
I tend to find shortly after losing someone, even a pet, makes you worry about feeling that pain again. Ive subconciously kept distant to everyone so that should i feel loss again it wont hurt as much. Used to break up with girlfriends when there was a sign of possibly getting hurt, sounds pathetic but its what you do when theres shock deaths around you
but alas, happens, and life is about experiencing the highs and lows, and youve got to consider that you must have some pretty decent parents to be worried about losing them, not everyone gets a good pair
so try not to worry :) |  | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 22:27 - Jul 30 with 2018 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 21:48 - Jul 30 by raynor94 |
Truly shocking, and you wonder why you get banned on here |
Perhaps some have been that child and know what they are talking about. |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 22:32 - Jul 30 with 2012 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 21:16 - Jul 30 by byron |
So, trampie you clearly lost a parent at a young age, and you are right, you do have to get on with it so to speak. We are all different though, the OP was just speaking his mind out about his fears, no need to pan him for it ffs. I used to wonder how I’d cope watching them die, my dad lived to 81 so I do consider that a decent age. However watching a healthy sporty 17 stone bloke wither away to 11 stone in a few months is never easy. Is it a path you have to take to become a man? A real man? I get on like I did before, but it will leave a mark for sure. |
Lost just the one parent at a young age you say ?, only the one ?, that is all ?
The opening post came across to me as pathetic, weak and pathetic, no personal offence to the poster, but I actually wondered if it was trolling. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 23:07 - Jul 30 with 1976 views | raynor94 |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 22:27 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Perhaps some have been that child and know what they are talking about. |
My son lost his mother at 12, I have a fair idea what I'm talking about, your comments belong in the dark ages | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 23:11 - Jul 30 with 1969 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 23:07 - Jul 30 by raynor94 |
My son lost his mother at 12, I have a fair idea what I'm talking about, your comments belong in the dark ages |
Its the only way to cope, if you have little family left to help you through. [Post edited 30 Jul 2018 23:33]
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 23:31 - Jul 30 with 1942 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:03 - Jul 30 by Cooperman |
People cope with tragedy and trauma in many different ways. Burying your head in the sand isn’t an option for everyone. |
It can be the only option for a child that is old enough to understand but still a child. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 00:29 - Jul 31 with 1913 views | MrSwerve |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:12 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Swerve and Gower gone quiet ………….. hmm |
I've actually been spending the evening with family and not logged in until now, my life doesn't revolve around this website and having faux internet battles.
This thread was simply created for people to share how they handle the thought of losing parents, and indeed losing parents. I thought it would be a good topic to debate with the PS users...and I could understand your argument if you framed it like an adult and said you need to move on, rather than saying 'man up ffs' or words to that effect, and make out like I'm having some kind of meltdown or I'm a troll. I am not interested in back and forths with keyboard warriors whatsoever.
No wonder people don't post here much anymore.
Some great advice in here though. Thanks for the PMs too, some nice stories. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 05:42 - Jul 31 with 1878 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 00:29 - Jul 31 by MrSwerve |
I've actually been spending the evening with family and not logged in until now, my life doesn't revolve around this website and having faux internet battles.
This thread was simply created for people to share how they handle the thought of losing parents, and indeed losing parents. I thought it would be a good topic to debate with the PS users...and I could understand your argument if you framed it like an adult and said you need to move on, rather than saying 'man up ffs' or words to that effect, and make out like I'm having some kind of meltdown or I'm a troll. I am not interested in back and forths with keyboard warriors whatsoever.
No wonder people don't post here much anymore.
Some great advice in here though. Thanks for the PMs too, some nice stories. |
Spending time with your family, that's nice you can do that isn't it.
You could understand my argument (I have an opinion not an argument) if it was framed to your particular liking is it......oh aye, lol.
Count your blessings if I was you, that's another tip if things are going well for someone. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 06:50 - Jul 31 with 1863 views | raynor94 |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 00:29 - Jul 31 by MrSwerve |
I've actually been spending the evening with family and not logged in until now, my life doesn't revolve around this website and having faux internet battles.
This thread was simply created for people to share how they handle the thought of losing parents, and indeed losing parents. I thought it would be a good topic to debate with the PS users...and I could understand your argument if you framed it like an adult and said you need to move on, rather than saying 'man up ffs' or words to that effect, and make out like I'm having some kind of meltdown or I'm a troll. I am not interested in back and forths with keyboard warriors whatsoever.
No wonder people don't post here much anymore.
Some great advice in here though. Thanks for the PMs too, some nice stories. |
Pleased to hear you have had a good evening, some of the comments in reply to your op are nothing short of shocking, just more examples of how this board is being ruined | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 07:43 - Jul 31 with 1833 views | epaul |
Lost my mum 16 years ago, she was only 57. when I was in my 30's it hit me hard and I ended up in counclling, which helped massively and helped me deal with her death, Lost my father last November he was 72, again it hit hard, however I have my "sad" moments but do recognise that he had a good life.
Time does heal, you will always miss them, Ive got on and lived my life and Im sure if they were around now they would be proud of me,
I think one of the biggest things for me is my dad was around for his grandchildren, and they knew who he was, sadly my sisters kids will never know their grandmother
We all go in the end its an inevitabilty, life is short in the great scheme of things, have your moment to mourn but then celebrate their lives, then live your own life to the full, I'm sure its what they would have wanted you to do |  |
| The hair and the beard have gone I am now conforming to society, tis a sad day
The b*stards are coming back though |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 08:01 - Jul 31 with 1822 views | trampie |
It's so nice to hear some uplifting stories on here, some people are so lucky and often they are the ones that don't know it.
When times are good people don't always realise it, yet when times are bad they do know it.
I'm just happy to point out some harsh realities to people that have little idea when they are in a cosy bubble. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 08:45 - Jul 31 with 1788 views | moonie |
A poster reflects on a basic human thought.
He s replied with a trite phrase utterly representative of a poster who s proven to be caustic .
Dark ages it is not simply a dark individual .
The explanation was a pitiful attempt at an apologies.
2018 |  | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 09:04 - Jul 31 with 1775 views | raynor94 |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 08:45 - Jul 31 by moonie |
A poster reflects on a basic human thought.
He s replied with a trite phrase utterly representative of a poster who s proven to be caustic .
Dark ages it is not simply a dark individual .
The explanation was a pitiful attempt at an apologies.
2018 |
100% agree, true colours were shown | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 09:24 - Jul 31 with 1761 views | moonie |
And there is no " only way" .
Each of is different
Swerve. You raised an interesting basic human question and it was taken down so we are or I am opining as to the context of it all. Not warrior stuff.
Losing parents as I did when very old brings different challenges especially in the final years whereas the physical challenges when parents die young are less of a problem than mental and practical ones ,the most basic ones of feeding ,clothing and nurturing. My paternal grandfather lost both his parents before he was five and my mothe s father died young with not a pot to pisse in. These were greater challenges than I faced with care homes and palliative care . It wasn't pleasant but they d had a good innings although for most of the time I'm sure my mum hated the old fella.
Do us a favour tramp and leave this thread alone | | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 10:02 - Jul 31 with 1736 views | Ebo |
I lost my dad when I was 6 and my mother went in my late teens. I was too young to grieve for my father, at six you really don't understand what is happening. It was tough growing up at times when seeing other kids out doing things with their dad.
He did take me to my first ever swans game in 1975 - I don't think he knew what he started there :0
My mother was strong as an ox, she had to be with 4 kids. We pulled together though and it is awful when it happens, but time is a great healer that will just send you happy memories over the years. It was awful watching my mother deteriorate, day by day regressing at time into a child. The cancer spread fast in her. her last words to me were "tell me a story". That will live with me forever and it still chokes me when I think of it. [Post edited 31 Jul 2018 10:07]
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 10:23 - Jul 31 with 1721 views | trampie |
For those that lose parents when they are young having an extended family or brothers and sisters can be a help, some unfortunately don't even have that. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 12:11 - Jul 31 with 1677 views | byron |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 09:04 - Jul 31 by raynor94 |
100% agree, true colours were shown |
Think trampie needs some help or support more than ridicule, he carries pain. |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 13:20 - Jul 31 with 1641 views | trampie |
I don't carry no pain about anything, lol - I'm just giving posters advice in a certain circumstance that is all. [Post edited 31 Jul 2018 14:23]
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 14:53 - Jul 31 with 1606 views | LeonWasGod |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 23:11 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Its the only way to cope, if you have little family left to help you through. [Post edited 30 Jul 2018 23:33]
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No offence Tramps, but it doesn't sound like it's helping you cope now. May have worked at the time, but you come across bitter and twisted about it now (and about lots of other things to). Maybe now's a good time to revisit things?
Anyway, nothing to do with me. |  | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 16:44 - Jul 31 with 1559 views | trampie |
I'm not bitter about anything, but thanks for your concern for a fellow member of this message board, just saying how things are on this topic for people of a particular age in a difficult situation, that is all. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 18:09 - Jul 31 with 1514 views | phact0rri |
I do think its never to early to begin thinking and planning for the eventuality. Not sure what the sibbling situation is, but possibly start coming together and having actual chats thoughts of finance and planning for when unfortunate does happen.
I know that this thread feels aimed at the mental side of things, but like some on here I've lost so many people in my life, and the acceptance of loss will occur somehow or someway, though difficult-- and my mind strike at making it manageable, so most of my stress can revolve around with swallowing that particular bitter pill.
All the best and I'm sure your parents are quite glad to have raised such a son to be thinking about these things as level headed as you are (unlike others in this thread).
PS sorry if this seems heavy handed or coldblooded. its really not meant as such. |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:16 - Jul 31 with 1481 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 18:09 - Jul 31 by phact0rri |
I do think its never to early to begin thinking and planning for the eventuality. Not sure what the sibbling situation is, but possibly start coming together and having actual chats thoughts of finance and planning for when unfortunate does happen.
I know that this thread feels aimed at the mental side of things, but like some on here I've lost so many people in my life, and the acceptance of loss will occur somehow or someway, though difficult-- and my mind strike at making it manageable, so most of my stress can revolve around with swallowing that particular bitter pill.
All the best and I'm sure your parents are quite glad to have raised such a son to be thinking about these things as level headed as you are (unlike others in this thread).
PS sorry if this seems heavy handed or coldblooded. its really not meant as such. |
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