| Thinking about 'the inevitable' 10:52 - Jul 30 with 9517 views | MrSwerve |
Hopefully not too morbid a post for a Monday morning.
I'm now in my 30's, with my parents approaching their mid to late 60's, and I find myself increasingly thinking about how I will cope or learn to accept when the inevitable does happen. Thankfully they are still both in good health (touch wood), so there is nothing to worry about as such, I just find myself thinking about it more and more.
Is this something that sounds familiar to posters on here, and how did you cope when your parents did pass? Maybe the sharing of stories will also be some 'self help'. |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:08 - Jul 30 with 1294 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:03 - Jul 30 by Cooperman |
People cope with tragedy and trauma in many different ways. Burying your head in the sand isn’t an option for everyone. |
I'm giving the man advice on a topic he knows nothing about and in a certain situation its the best course of action, admittedly he is not in that situation that I describe, he is one of these people who has reached a certain age and his parents are still alive and kicking, some people are luckier than others I guess. [Post edited 30 Jul 2018 19:08]
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:13 - Jul 30 with 1277 views | moonie |
You are the last to offer advice to anyone.
My advice to you is to apologise for such an appalling post ,amongst the worst on here for many years .
You might well face a situation in which you d be seeking advice or comfort
Better still, fook off |  | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:14 - Jul 30 with 1277 views | jack2jack |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 18:55 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Gower Jack bury your head in the sand, its the best way to cope with true tragedy if you are a child but older enough to understand.
All this remembering is for 'lucky' people only, forget them, forget even when their birthdays are, don't visit their graves, don't let your mind go back there, by avoiding you stay strong. |
Fvcking bullshit! |  | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:15 - Jul 30 with 1273 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:14 - Jul 30 by jack2jack |
Fvcking bullshit! |
Why do you say that ? | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:18 - Jul 30 with 1258 views | jack2jack |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:15 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Why do you say that ? |
So if I read your reply to GJ, your just supposed to dismiss the most important people you'll ever have in your life,like they never existed, just to cope.
Am I correct! | | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:19 - Jul 30 with 1252 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:18 - Jul 30 by jack2jack |
So if I read your reply to GJ, your just supposed to dismiss the most important people you'll ever have in your life,like they never existed, just to cope.
Am I correct! |
Yes if you are child/young teenager. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:24 - Jul 30 with 1240 views | jack2jack |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:19 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Yes if you are child/young teenager. |
I don't even know how to reply to that.
Mrs J2J was not much older than that when she lost her mum, that is not how she coped with the loss, I find that comment hard to fathom. | | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:24 - Jul 30 with 1240 views | jackal |
Mid 60's is not so old.I'm there and my mother is still going strong. 89 and fit and well, My Dad was 92 when he passed.
Stop obsessing about it. Nature will take it's course.They are in good health so all is as it should be.Be good to them and and carry on living your life. |  | | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:38 - Jul 30 with 1210 views | jack2jack |
Back on track,as we get older it's inevitable that we think of our own mortality,and that of our loved ones.There is no right way or wrong way to deal with it, as humans we are quite resilient, and we learn to cope with things in our own way.
As for Mr Swerve, like has been said, enjoy every single moment with your parents and cherish the good times, it won't make it easier, but it will certainly help, knowing that you made the most of every moment with them.It isn't always that simple, because things go sour as they do in all families, it's what happens from time to time,that is the other side of the coin.If all is good, then it will certainly help.
But it's never ever easy to say goodbye. | | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:42 - Jul 30 with 1192 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:24 - Jul 30 by jack2jack |
I don't even know how to reply to that.
Mrs J2J was not much older than that when she lost her mum, that is not how she coped with the loss, I find that comment hard to fathom. |
Oh she only lost one parent ?, how old was she ?, had she finished her 'O Levels' or in the last year so it was all in the bank as it were ?
You find it hard to fathom as you have no idea. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:43 - Jul 30 with 1188 views | Jackfath |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:42 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Oh she only lost one parent ?, how old was she ?, had she finished her 'O Levels' or in the last year so it was all in the bank as it were ?
You find it hard to fathom as you have no idea. |
What's your background on this subject Trampie? |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:48 - Jul 30 with 1172 views | jack2jack |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:42 - Jul 30 by trampie |
Oh she only lost one parent ?, how old was she ?, had she finished her 'O Levels' or in the last year so it was all in the bank as it were ?
You find it hard to fathom as you have no idea. |
Tell you what, we'll leave it there yeah! | | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:48 - Jul 30 with 1172 views | Highjack |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 17:56 - Jul 30 by raynor94 |
 my parents always taught me if you haven't anything good to say, don't say anything at all. |
If trampie has taken that advice he’d be permanently mute. |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:54 - Jul 30 with 1156 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:43 - Jul 30 by Jackfath |
What's your background on this subject Trampie? |
I've given my advice on a subject I know about, nothing more to see.
Its sad to lose a parent at any stage, but some people need to man up fath, they don't know how lucky they are in some cases and if they go crying constantly over an elderly parent over and over they need to be told to man up, this is life, this is the natural order of things.
Do parents want their children crying and moping over them all the time in normal natural circumstances ? and im not talking straight after death, or at a funeral or during some kind of special occasion or anniversary.
I tell you what, I blame the education system and the snowflake society, I would not want to be in the trenches next to a lot of posters on this site, talk about some people being weak, its pitiful. [Post edited 30 Jul 2018 19:58]
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:56 - Jul 30 with 1149 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:48 - Jul 30 by jack2jack |
Tell you what, we'll leave it there yeah! |
I cant fathom why you cant appreciate what im telling you is a good course of action - well actually the only course of action to mentally keep ones head above water in a certain situation. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:03 - Jul 30 with 1126 views | jack2jack |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:56 - Jul 30 by trampie |
I cant fathom why you cant appreciate what im telling you is a good course of action - well actually the only course of action to mentally keep ones head above water in a certain situation. |
Mate listen carefully, I said we'll leave it there!
Enjoy the rest of your evening. | | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:12 - Jul 30 with 1097 views | trampie |
Swerve and Gower gone quiet ………….. hmm | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:17 - Jul 30 with 1079 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 19:48 - Jul 30 by Highjack |
If trampie has taken that advice he’d be permanently mute. |
The truth hurts sometimes Highjack, sometimes for peoples own good they need to be told the harsh truth. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:20 - Jul 30 with 1063 views | lifelong |
It’s difficult to tell other people how to cope with the loss of your parents as we are all different and have the ability to deal with it in different ways, also it depends on your personal circumstances, a supportive partner or close siblings for example.
I lost both my parents, within 12 months of each other, when they were relatively young, and I was in my 20’s. It hit me hard,as I was close to my parents, but this is where I agree with what Trampie is trying to say, you’ve just got to get on with life. |  | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:37 - Jul 30 with 1032 views | alltjack |
My old man is 82 in January , my mother 80 in October . He done 10.5 miles up Llyn Y Fan today(couldnt finish as he pulled a tendon)
My father in law is 87 and enjoys a few Guinesses every day and my mother in law is 82 in February and still works as a school dinner lady and they all get on marvelously
I was brought up on a farm and my old man is my workmate,my father in law a great drinking partner and pal
When they go I will be devestated and I cherish every minute I have with them.
I'm an older person who is with it mentally and I will take all the sympathy I can and Trampie if that makes me an attention seeker so be it | | | |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:44 - Jul 30 with 1009 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:37 - Jul 30 by alltjack |
My old man is 82 in January , my mother 80 in October . He done 10.5 miles up Llyn Y Fan today(couldnt finish as he pulled a tendon)
My father in law is 87 and enjoys a few Guinesses every day and my mother in law is 82 in February and still works as a school dinner lady and they all get on marvelously
I was brought up on a farm and my old man is my workmate,my father in law a great drinking partner and pal
When they go I will be devestated and I cherish every minute I have with them.
I'm an older person who is with it mentally and I will take all the sympathy I can and Trampie if that makes me an attention seeker so be it |
Oh no that would not make you an attention seeker unless you are constantly looking for attention, some people go off about their parents all the time, some people that have lost their parents at a very young age listening to them over and over, sometimes inwardly just think you soppy old b*gger you have no idea how lucky you have been. | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:50 - Jul 30 with 994 views | trampie |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:20 - Jul 30 by lifelong |
It’s difficult to tell other people how to cope with the loss of your parents as we are all different and have the ability to deal with it in different ways, also it depends on your personal circumstances, a supportive partner or close siblings for example.
I lost both my parents, within 12 months of each other, when they were relatively young, and I was in my 20’s. It hit me hard,as I was close to my parents, but this is where I agree with what Trampie is trying to say, you’ve just got to get on with life. |
There we go butt, someone that has been there and understands, my heart go's out to you butt but im sure you don't need that kind of sympathy on a messageboard for events years ago as you have probably dealt with it - the rest of you need to learn a lesson and man the f*ck up, I trust it didn't mess up your education or sport lifelong as you was in your 20's ?
Stay strong butt, you know it makes sense.  | |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 21:16 - Jul 30 with 950 views | byron |
| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 20:50 - Jul 30 by trampie |
There we go butt, someone that has been there and understands, my heart go's out to you butt but im sure you don't need that kind of sympathy on a messageboard for events years ago as you have probably dealt with it - the rest of you need to learn a lesson and man the f*ck up, I trust it didn't mess up your education or sport lifelong as you was in your 20's ?
Stay strong butt, you know it makes sense. |
So, trampie you clearly lost a parent at a young age, and you are right, you do have to get on with it so to speak. We are all different though, the OP was just speaking his mind out about his fears, no need to pan him for it ffs. I used to wonder how I’d cope watching them die, my dad lived to 81 so I do consider that a decent age. However watching a healthy sporty 17 stone bloke wither away to 11 stone in a few months is never easy. Is it a path you have to take to become a man? A real man? I get on like I did before, but it will leave a mark for sure. |  |
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| Thinking about 'the inevitable' on 21:23 - Jul 30 with 946 views | dickythorpe |
Trample, you are suffering are you not?
I was going to comment on here but if you had told me to bury my head in the sand I would probably have either laughed at you or hit you.
Are you grieving? Are you thinking some get more "attention" for their grief than you perhaps did?
It seems you are angry at a loss you have suffered. Maybe others who have had losses feel insignificant and irrelevant to you.
It isn't a competition, there is no way the "sympathy" handed out on this life can be measured or devalued.
Some people know exactly what to say to a bereaved/grieving person, others just simply can not.
That doesn't make them bad people. Just like those that talk about grief or a loss., and just like those that don't.
A good friend of mine once said "there is no handbook for losing a loved one".
To "bury your head in the sand" is just asking for problems later on in life. |  | | |
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, people only want their own ideas backed up, they don't want advice if it go's against their already formed thoughts.