Mel Huckridge, author of Grounds for Divorce, puts fingers to keys for LoftforWords for the first time and delivers his assessment of QPR’s first season at the mercy of one Joey Barton.
“Gobby Scouse git.”
No, not Derek Hatton, but Joey Barton, according to the bloke behind me at Loftus Road a couple of months ago. That's what most thought before we signed him, and many still do now.
His past exploits - several assaults, including stubbing a cigar out in a players eye - cannot really be defended. But often they have been punctuated with glimpses of honesty. Certainly his comment after the 2006 World Cup, about the England players bringing out autobiographies after performing badly is accurate and reflected the opinion of the majority of supporters.
He should have won the Terry Scott award for over acting in the first match of this season when, whilst still playing for Newcastle, he hit the deck theatrically resulting in Arsenal’s Gervinho being dismissed.
These past exploits, in my eyes, are not worth in depth analysis simply because he was not paid to wear the most famous blue and white hoops on the planet at the time. From the end of August 2011 this all changed, a line should have been drawn under his previous misdemeanours at that point because he was ours. Rangers had arrived in the Premier League, eyebrows were being raised, but it showed we meant business.
As for his actual talent, most, even the well informed among us, were unsure about his footballing abilities. He’d managed 15 minutes in an England shirt, which is about the same as the similarly initialled Jay Bothroyd, and years earlier, John Hollins. We knew one thing for sure, he was a name, and with it came expectation.
He was treated regally by Neil Warnock and given the captains armband but this was the first of many poor and disloyal decisions made by Mr Untouchable (discarding Adel Taarabt's ability, swapping Gorkss for Gabbidon, loaning Clint Hill to Forest) that would later bite him in the behind.
Initially though, things were rosy. The debut of Barton and a few other new experienced international players against Newcastle at Loftus Road bode well and lead into, five days later, our performance of the season at Molineux, where Wolves were, as I said over the phone at the time to my brother, 'taken to the fucking cleaners'. That glorious day he scored our opener, albeit with a mishit, and was subjected to some terrible challenges by Karl Henry. In the face of provocation he remained relatively calm, except for the three finger goal salute to disheartened Wolves followers. In tandem with Ali Faurlin (whom Barton rates highly) we battled for some great results over the next two months. We had arrived.
For me, the honeymoon period concluded when West Brom equalised at Loftus Rd in early December. Faurlin was given a dressing down by the manager, in both private and public, reminiscent of Houllier's ridiculous criticism of David Ginola after France failed to qualify for USA '94 losing a lead in injury time to Bulgaria. Warnock lost the dressing room from then on, and the antics of him and his coaching staff were soon to be scrutinised once the defeats started to mount. His constant referral to new January signings wore thin; you should always make the best of what you have.
The pivotal moment in Warnock's QPR career came against Norwich at Loftus Road over Christmas. One incident summed up our whole season when Barton, already having put us one up, was incorrectly sent off. He had been kicked from pillar to post and as a result squared up to Bradley Johnson who, in Mediterranean style, feigned head contact. There are so many levels in which the decision was wrong, not least because the referee and linesman were both initially happy to play on with QPR in possession suggesting they’d seen no offence by a QPR player, and it seems to me he was sent off because of his reputation.
The FA, kings of double standards, refused the appeal.
If the officials had done their jobs correctly we probably would have won the game, Warnock may have kept his job, and our pal Joey would not have been made the scapegoat which he then became.
For me it was a case of thanks Neil, but it time to go. I say well done to Tony Fernandes and his team for having the guts to do so. Many saw it as Barton’s fault though. His constant tweeting - funny and welcomed in the good times - was now somehow deemed to be undermining the club and the manager even though much of what he said was right.
The size of Barton's pay packet was suddenly now important. Somehow everyone seems to think they know his salary and the £80,000 a week figure continues to be reported as fact. I have it good authority, that whilst most would be happy to earn a year what he does in a week, it is nowhere near that usually quoted figure. Welcome to the Premier League.
People wonder why he doesn’t shut up; constantly talking about the Smiths, Friedrich Nietzsche or visiting London art galleries even when things haven’t gone well on the pitch. People say he's obviously just trying to get a future media career as a pseudo intellectual. Or is he making a creditable attempt to leave his chequered past behind him and move on? I speak from personal experience when I say the novelty of becoming a first time father changes all of us. Mind you given his past, perhaps Cassius wasn't the wisest choice of forenames for his first son.
Through the revolving door arrived Mark Hughes – a great player and seemingly decent manager. By now we were in a relegation battle, but the wins didn’t arrive and the red cards continued. The new boys didn’t seem to gel - great on paper, shit on grass.
Then, in March, Liverpool at home. Gerrard and Suarez give a master class in what Premiership footballers should play like and two down Rangers already look doomed. Barton is having a shocker and the crowd, as in past years with Zesh Rehman (correctly) and Mike Sheron (less so), vent their frustrations on our skipper and boo even his few decent touches. He is substituted to loud cheering. Somehow Dunkirk becomes El Alamein and we win. All because our Joey was replaced and a bit of dodgy defending.
Rightly dropped for the next game, he acknowledged that he was awful, which takes a big man to admit. He must have smiled inside when the whole eleven at Sunderland were as bad as he was the match before.
Then, with eight fixtures left, and the experts convinced we will be back from whence we came, the fighting spirit became evident. The man at the forefront of this was Joey Barton. Constantly cajoling, probing and pushing he put in several near man of the match performances which won some fans over, if not all. There was no doubting the team spirit when Cisse knocked in against Stoke to make us favourites to survive - just watch the players reaction, they want it as much as we do.
This brings us to Eastlands and the impossible match with the Champions elect. Unbelievable is a well used phrase, but for once the events seemed as such, including the Barton talking point with half an hour to go.
Watching the re runs, it is clear that Carlos Tevez makes contact with Joey, provoking him into reacting in the way he did, and then makes a meal of the subsequent contact. Joey you've been mugged off again. The statistics say he has been fouled 60 times this season, second only to Newcastle’s Jonas Gutierrez with 86, and Rangers are the most sinned against club.
I'd love to think that the superb Clint Hill, born at the same hospital as Barton, egged him on to even it up, although the sense of injustice will not be considered when the appeal is heard tomorrow. If it did happen, as Barton claims, then I like it. They've cheated us again, cheat back.
Obviously this is not acceptable to the 'Football family' and its world, but it was the last game of season with careers and, more importantly, vast amounts of money on the line. Sod role models, this is passion and that is the one feature that I admire in Barton. So what if he lays into Shearer and Lineker, is this a treasonable offence? Don’t we all say similar things about those two? Remember when you used to play yourself, if you ever did - Corinthian spirit wins only friends not trophies.
The club may try and constructively dismiss him, using his salary to fund someone less volatile. Personally I hope they won't.
He has baggage from before, but has never shirked responsibility, and there is a lot more to him than a no trick pony like Jamie Mackie. With Al Faurlin returning, Samba Diakite staying, Barton, Armand Traore and Adel Taarabt available that starts to look like a midfield of useful options.
I, for one, like the ‘gobby Scouse git’ and have enjoyed the ride.
I'd buy him a pint if he wasn't now teetotal.
Mel Huckridge wrote Grounds for Divorce, a tale of travels around the world to obscure football matches and plenty of QPR games as well. Copies can be ordered from Mel at melh64@hotmail.co.uk or bought from him outside the Upper Loft/South Africa Road exit on matchdays.
Tweet @loftforwords
Pictures – Action Images