| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 875471 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Jul 25 with 8760 views | Esox_Lucius |
One of the Arctic Monkeys has sold his collection of rugs to a former Italian midfielder. He was quoted as saying "they'll look good on Zidane's floor". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:39 - Jul 25 with 8727 views | Lblock |
Prefer the one where it's a French midfielder.... | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:49 - Jul 25 with 8613 views | hantssi |
Absolutely disgusting behaviour I saw on the beach at Great Yarmouth earlier today.
I was on the seafront and saw a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of loads of kids, suddenly the woman smacked the guy in the head and it all kicked off. There was a massive brawl and someone called the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and took his baton to the man, the guy managed to snatch it off him and began assaulting the copper AND his wife!
Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept up and stole all the sausages !! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:02 - Jul 25 with 8519 views | Boston |
hantssi was sitting at a bar when a very ugly lady sat down next to him.
She had a squirrel on her shoulder, leaning forward she whispers, "tell me what type of animal this is, and I'll sleep with you?"
"erm" say hants, "its a crocodile"
"Close enough" she replies. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:05 - Jul 25 with 8517 views | Boston |
What's the difference between alligator and crocodile?
Spelling and pronunciation. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:56 - Jul 26 with 8408 views | hantssi |
You must have followed me around when we were younger as it sounds very much like me!!
Never say never! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:11 - Jul 26 with 8333 views | Sonofpugwash |
These new edible insect snacks are flying off the shelves. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:12 - Jul 26 with 8229 views | Esox_Lucius |
This happened whilst he was playing for Juventus. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:39 - Jul 26 with 8162 views | Toast_R |
In Poundland earlier and bought two Harry Potter brooms. Quid each | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:53 - Jul 27 with 8086 views | Boston |
Oh Yeah! Was your favourite position the WOW?
Y'know, when you flipped your girlfriend's mom over. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:03 - Jul 27 with 7945 views | Sonofpugwash |
(borrowed)
I went to to a fancy dress party dressed as a harp.The host asked "what have you come as?"
I said "A harp"
He said "That's too small to be a harp."
So I said "are you calling me a lyre?" | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:12 - Aug 2 with 7542 views | Sonofpugwash |
I'm being urged to join The Flat Earth Society.
Apparently they've got members all over the globe. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:37 - Aug 2 with 7421 views | Boston |
Know why there are no tv's in Afghanistan?
Because they have a tellyban. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:32 - Aug 2 with 7250 views | CliveWilsonSaid |
I had a Hawaiian Pizza the other day
Unfortunately it was burnt
Should have cooked it on aloha temperature | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:44 - Aug 3 with 7179 views | Boston |
Never order meringues in Australia, they fcking hate 'em.
Yeah, Aussies boo meringues. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:38 - Aug 3 with 7100 views | Esox_Lucius |
Dad: Someone in this household is possessed by an owl.
Son: Who?
Dad: Ahaaaaa!!! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:13 - Aug 3 with 7044 views | Myke |
True story. I bought a new toilet seat the other day (exciting life I have). Went to Homebase,picked out one that I (my wife) liked and went up to the young girl on checkout. She has her scanner and looks all over the box for the barcode. I couldn't resist saying,"Well it's a toilet seat so it's probably on the BOTTOM" - cue red-faced young lady. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:04 - Aug 3 with 6862 views | Boston |
Would you be an English teacher, Myke?
Five vowels, eight consonants, a comma and an exclamation mark appeared at Ealing Magistrates' today.
They're due back next week for sentencing.
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"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
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And, if you're wondering, double negatives are a big no no. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:40 - Aug 3 with 6802 views | Myke |
. [Post edited 3 Aug 2022 23:02]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:38 - Aug 4 with 6766 views | Boston |
What do you get if you cross a chef and a waitress?
A cold dinner. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:54 - Aug 4 with 6763 views | Boston |
Ooops, just noticed the previous post...apologies Myke if you thought that was a dig, not at all, just a couple of amusing Eng. Lang. moments for the student body. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:56 - Aug 4 with 6568 views | Rebalhoop |
What’s the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison?
You can’t wash your hands in a Buffalo... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:23 - Aug 13 with 9428 views | Sonofpugwash |
Well, it's my old Mum's birthday today.
I can see her looking down at us as we raise our glasses.
Must get that stairlift fixed. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:13 - Aug 15 with 9165 views | DavieQPR |
Just been out and managed to get 20 hoses from B&Q before the ban. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:12 - Aug 16 with 9042 views | Boston |
Inspired by Distort's life on the lawn, I've invested in labour saving devices for gardeners.
Sure it's expensive, but its cutting hedge technology. | |
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