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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' 21:44 - May 23 with 4324 viewschris1969

What do I do?
Will it stand up in court?
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 22:02 - May 23 with 4285 viewsPablo_Hoopsta

Standard response number 251: Laugh maniacally and then suddenly stop, look her straight in the face and say, without blinking, something like "only once can I, or will I, allow you to get away with that. I'm going to give to the benefit of the doubt, and put that down to your emotions for tomorrow's game. But if I hear you breathe another word along those lines I will cut out your tongue and gut you like a fish".

Works for most people, not just wives and girlfriends
[Post edited 23 May 2014 22:03]
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 22:09 - May 23 with 4246 viewsRANGERS4EVER

Sit her down and make her watch every single highlight of QPR over and over again until the morning, then ask tomorrow whether it is just a game

Poll: Who would you most like to see at QPR?

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 22:21 - May 23 with 4200 viewsBluce_Ree

All women is bitches. Women. Bitches.

(c) Kenny 'Bricks' Wangler.

Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore.

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 22:30 - May 23 with 4173 viewsoddball

whack her round the cannister
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 22:33 - May 23 with 4157 viewssmegma

$h1t in her handbag. That'll learn her.


"its ONLY a handbag"
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 23:03 - May 23 with 4074 viewschris1969

She's a sleep on the couch now, I have the shovel in hand....two problems no cellar and the garden is decked

I have poured a single malt, Jools is on soon......ohmmmmm
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 23:09 - May 23 with 4060 viewsFredManRave

Calm down, calm down. She was obviously just referring to the Champions League Final.

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 23:30 - May 23 with 4018 viewsmichael67

Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 23:03 - May 23 by chris1969

She's a sleep on the couch now, I have the shovel in hand....two problems no cellar and the garden is decked

I have poured a single malt, Jools is on soon......ohmmmmm


Do you or anyone know a farmer who keeps pigs? They will go through bone like butter.

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 23:46 - May 23 with 3988 viewsizlingtonhoop

I'm just a middle aged dirt bag, baby.
She doesn't know what she's missing, yeah, yeah.
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 23:48 - May 23 with 3988 viewschris1969

But she's a Mardy Bum and she's got the face on.......
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 23:55 - May 23 with 3975 viewsPommyhoop

Uxoricide (from Latin uxor meaning "wife") is murder of one's wife. It can refer to the act itself or the person who carries it out.

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/250x250/55039027.jpg
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 02:26 - May 24 with 3889 viewsade_qpr

Sounds like grounds for a divorce, Get a decent R's supporting judge and you should get everything.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 03:32 - May 24 with 3860 viewsBklynRanger

grounds for divorce....grounds for divorce.....there must be some kind of creative, money making concept there, just waiting for the right kind of brain...

Oh, to answer the original very fair question, massive amounts of cling film
[Post edited 24 May 2014 3:32]
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 06:41 - May 24 with 3803 viewschris1969

It will have to wait, Wembley is calling couldn't risk it, I will get her back in other ways.

If all goes well today an 18 hour session will give me clarity we can discuss the merits of football on my return
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 07:36 - May 24 with 3734 viewsade_qpr

Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 06:41 - May 24 by chris1969

It will have to wait, Wembley is calling couldn't risk it, I will get her back in other ways.

If all goes well today an 18 hour session will give me clarity we can discuss the merits of football on my return


18 hours well that gives her plenty of uninterrupted time to do all the housework

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 08:14 - May 24 with 3694 viewsterryb

Golden Gordon (Ripping Yarns - Barnstoneworth United) was shown on the tele on Thursday night & so I had the pleasure of watching it last night as a warm up for today.

Go to catch up, then get your wife to see how a wife should allow for the effect football has on their partner.

And the quiz question of the day. Name the Barnstoneworth first team of 1922 in the Yorkshire Premier League.
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 08:25 - May 24 with 3669 viewsHantsR

Will it stand up in court? - probably not, so please put it away.
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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 09:22 - May 24 with 3586 viewsTheBlob

And you can riposte by saying...."what's all the fuss about Kipling,it's only a bag for Christ's sake"

Poll: So how was the season for you?

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 09:29 - May 24 with 3557 viewsDiscodroid

it reminds me of the time my good lady, joanne, took a 'selfie ', i believe it is known as in modern parlance , yesterday.



she looked as if she had stepped straight from the pages of a jane austin novel. pure of character , wholesome, an english rose, if you will.

unfortunately , the top button of her starched blouse was undone, and i had to take remedial action..

i immediately gave her a solid backhander, and whilst holding that sweeping pose over her prostrate figure, i read the lords 7th psalm verses 3 to 599995959 ,in ancient tongue, from memory, casting the devil in all his manifestations from her harlot soul.

we were due to take in an informative and entertaining sojourn to see the victorian beast oddity, john merrick. alas, once my blood was up , i took my corrective ministrations a step to far, and killed her using a flat iron.
so the silly cow has fuked all that now.


such were my palpartations after my brutal assault on my wife , i had to be administerd a potion of opium and laudnum( 2parts arsenic) by my physician, the good doctor pickwick.

she will pay most dearly for her tresspasses.

as i have no doubt, will pay dearly for mine.
[Post edited 24 May 2014 9:30]

" I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 09:33 - May 24 with 3537 viewsHooparoo

Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 09:29 - May 24 by Discodroid

it reminds me of the time my good lady, joanne, took a 'selfie ', i believe it is known as in modern parlance , yesterday.



she looked as if she had stepped straight from the pages of a jane austin novel. pure of character , wholesome, an english rose, if you will.

unfortunately , the top button of her starched blouse was undone, and i had to take remedial action..

i immediately gave her a solid backhander, and whilst holding that sweeping pose over her prostrate figure, i read the lords 7th psalm verses 3 to 599995959 ,in ancient tongue, from memory, casting the devil in all his manifestations from her harlot soul.

we were due to take in an informative and entertaining sojourn to see the victorian beast oddity, john merrick. alas, once my blood was up , i took my corrective ministrations a step to far, and killed her using a flat iron.
so the silly cow has fuked all that now.


such were my palpartations after my brutal assault on my wife , i had to be administerd a potion of opium and laudnum( 2parts arsenic) by my physician, the good doctor pickwick.

she will pay most dearly for her tresspasses.

as i have no doubt, will pay dearly for mine.
[Post edited 24 May 2014 9:30]


You're special. The broad church that is the wonderful QPR family.

I love it.

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 09:37 - May 24 with 3529 viewsDiscodroid

Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 09:33 - May 24 by Hooparoo

You're special. The broad church that is the wonderful QPR family.

I love it.


love you too my qpr brother....the nerves are making more unhinged than usual!!

" I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 09:40 - May 24 with 3518 viewsTheBlob

Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 09:33 - May 24 by Hooparoo

You're special. The broad church that is the wonderful QPR family.

I love it.


He'll be the one doing humourous impersonations of Diane Abbott outside the ground btw...

Poll: So how was the season for you?

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Wife just said 'it's just a football match' on 10:17 - May 24 with 3477 viewsheadhoops

Stick a chelscum shirt on her and play her up front for the scum - you won't see her again.

Ps my miss us after England lost the semi final world cup pens v Germany - "never mind there's always next year"

Poll: Remy - can he play in the playoffs - who's opening post is the best?

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Wife jusot said 'it's just a football match' on 13:07 - May 24 with 3379 viewsdodge_stoke_r

Chuck her in the bin mate and register on match.com
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