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I've just purchased 2 car washes and I'm looking for 5 hard working people who will be eternally grateful to me for providing them with employment so that they will be able to save up for the family holiday at Skegness.
I'll be paying £10 , a bag of crisps and 2 pickled onions an hour as long as each worker can wash 259 cars every 15 minutes.
I know that this fantastic offer will attract a big response but don't send your CV just yet as I'm on holiday in Timbuktu . We stay in the air conditioned tents which only the effluent (sorry affluent) people can afford. Whilst we are out here though we only use top of the range camels.
Send your details in two weeks time but window cleaners and builders need not apply as the quantity of associated bullshit could drown out all other applicants.
I already know what a wonderful altruistic person I am for giving you this wonderful opportunity to drag yourselves out of the gutter but there is really no need to shower me with thanks or with admiration of my obvious conspicuous wealth.
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Any car wash attendants out there on 16:07 - Sep 15 with 7965 views
Sorry, but your job description of "attendant" doesn't match the more detailed requirements. I can attend the 1036 car washes an hour, and being lazy I'd be happy to do so providing I'm not also required to do jobs at the Molly house.
Any car wash attendants out there on 20:19 - Sep 15 by D_Alien
Sorry, but your job description of "attendant" doesn't match the more detailed requirements. I can attend the 1036 car washes an hour, and being lazy I'd be happy to do so providing I'm not also required to do jobs at the Molly house.
The Molly house!!!!!!? House!!!!!-----------there are certainly extra tasks to be undertaken but at the Molly Mansion. That is of course only over the summer months. We abide in the family castle over the winter period.
As for the nature of the work I don't get involved in the detail and leave all that sort of thing to the head butler to allocate.
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Any car wash attendants out there on 20:44 - Sep 15 with 7413 views
Any car wash attendants out there on 20:37 - Sep 15 by Molly
The Molly house!!!!!!? House!!!!!-----------there are certainly extra tasks to be undertaken but at the Molly Mansion. That is of course only over the summer months. We abide in the family castle over the winter period.
As for the nature of the work I don't get involved in the detail and leave all that sort of thing to the head butler to allocate.
I congratulate you, sir, on your efficiency and compassion - allowing your head-butler to lord it over the minions so he doesn't get too down in the mouth.
Any car wash attendants out there on 20:44 - Sep 15 by D_Alien
I congratulate you, sir, on your efficiency and compassion - allowing your head-butler to lord it over the minions so he doesn't get too down in the mouth.
He doesn't often get down in the mouth . He's the sort of person who'll bend over backwards to keep everyone happy.
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Any car wash attendants out there on 21:37 - Sep 15 with 7317 views
I would be very interested in applying for the role of car washer. I have extensive experience of washing, in fact a lot of people consider me to be a first rate scrubber. Unfortunately so far I have only saved enough for a holiday in Cleethorpes, but I promise I will try hard and then hopefully I can upgrade to Skegness. Perhaps you could put me in touch with your butler, I am sure we would get on very well. (Incidentally, I am only called Mandy at the weekends).
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Any car wash attendants out there on 21:51 - Sep 15 with 7283 views
Any car wash attendants out there on 21:37 - Sep 15 by mandy
I would be very interested in applying for the role of car washer. I have extensive experience of washing, in fact a lot of people consider me to be a first rate scrubber. Unfortunately so far I have only saved enough for a holiday in Cleethorpes, but I promise I will try hard and then hopefully I can upgrade to Skegness. Perhaps you could put me in touch with your butler, I am sure we would get on very well. (Incidentally, I am only called Mandy at the weekends).
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Any car wash attendants out there on 21:54 - Sep 15 with 7266 views
Any car wash attendants out there on 20:37 - Sep 15 by Molly
The Molly house!!!!!!? House!!!!!-----------there are certainly extra tasks to be undertaken but at the Molly Mansion. That is of course only over the summer months. We abide in the family castle over the winter period.
As for the nature of the work I don't get involved in the detail and leave all that sort of thing to the head butler to allocate.
Molly I will clean your house but I like a lie in every morning and can't work past lunchtime.
Do you think I will be able to clean your 11 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms in 90 minutes per morning or would you rather I concentrate on mucking out the stables?
I am good with horses I spend most of my afternoons in corals on Spotland rd.
Molly we all really appreciate you looking after us as our long weekends in Blackpool don't pay for themselves.
Thanks again xxxxx please let me know how to apply as you have not responded to any of my PM.
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Any car wash attendants out there on 07:55 - Sep 16 with 7010 views
Any car wash attendants out there on 07:16 - Sep 16 by aleanddale
Molly I will clean your house but I like a lie in every morning and can't work past lunchtime.
Do you think I will be able to clean your 11 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms in 90 minutes per morning or would you rather I concentrate on mucking out the stables?
I am good with horses I spend most of my afternoons in corals on Spotland rd.
Molly we all really appreciate you looking after us as our long weekends in Blackpool don't pay for themselves.
Thanks again xxxxx please let me know how to apply as you have not responded to any of my PM.
Well thank you so much for your good wishes. It's nice to know that the common uneducated people can still have their annual weekend away in Blackpool. Unfortunately the vacancies at the summer mansion (NOT a house sir!!) have actually gone.
My two cousins twice removed (for causing obstructions outside the town hall) tried the work and found it "so p*ss easy " that we decided to make it a family enterprise. The only other opening was quickly filled by an earlier applicant called Mandy who has settled in nicely and is putting up a stirling performance
On a more serious note I have just noticed that another extremely well off property owner has also been advertising for staff in his window cleaning division. You might give him a try. I've read the whole thread and I think we could all learn a thing or two from it. For example on page 13 Billy has posted a most interesting photograph. In view of the way that Dale have been defending corners this season perhaps Hilly could make use of it to stiffen up the back four.
Good luck with the job hunting and once again I'm sorry the positions have now all been filled.
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Any car wash attendants out there on 09:35 - Sep 16 with 6926 views
Any car wash attendants out there on 07:55 - Sep 16 by Molly
Well thank you so much for your good wishes. It's nice to know that the common uneducated people can still have their annual weekend away in Blackpool. Unfortunately the vacancies at the summer mansion (NOT a house sir!!) have actually gone.
My two cousins twice removed (for causing obstructions outside the town hall) tried the work and found it "so p*ss easy " that we decided to make it a family enterprise. The only other opening was quickly filled by an earlier applicant called Mandy who has settled in nicely and is putting up a stirling performance
On a more serious note I have just noticed that another extremely well off property owner has also been advertising for staff in his window cleaning division. You might give him a try. I've read the whole thread and I think we could all learn a thing or two from it. For example on page 13 Billy has posted a most interesting photograph. In view of the way that Dale have been defending corners this season perhaps Hilly could make use of it to stiffen up the back four.
Good luck with the job hunting and once again I'm sorry the positions have now all been filled.
I am devastated by the news regarding the above news. Would you consider ayre lowing me to work 40 hours a week for a year as work expirience or on an internship? It would look great on my c.v. And I have my own car for travelling. I can assure you also that legally this is fine and in no way breaking employment rules.
Yours in anticipation (and hope)
T. Rabbits
Every Team Needs A John Ryan - The Winger Who's a Ringer!!!!!
Having slept on it (must've done, given how it woke me up) I'd now consider offering my services as an attendant for free. I'm experienced in the practise of holding a watching brief, so please check my PM (no. 37). I'm particularly adept at utilising a key holistic approach.
Just a quick note for now to thank you for your warm and very human offer of employment. I am attending the European Parliament and Council of Europe in Strasbourg this week, where I was very warmly applauded yesterday when I addressed the conference. I will shortly be whisked off to a science conference at the University of Strasbourg and my schedule for the rest of this year is truly packed. Furthermore, at 81 years of age, I fear this work may just be too demanding for me.
I do, however, have a friend whose daughter is looking for employment in Europe at the moment and you are still in Europe, just, aren't you?
I regret that she may be a little less productive than your ambitious expectations, taking up to an hour per car, but she gets her sponge everywhere and has never had a single complaint from any of her clients in Tibet in the last three years since she started soaping.
I noted your advert was looking for "people" ....... I do so hope you are an equal opportunities employer. She recently applied for a post as a part time window cleaner in Royton, but when she turned up for an interview, the "employer" was a spotty 16 year old with halitosis and a rusty chopper. He showed her a picture of his better half in Mayfair, which she assumed to be a society magazine. The lady was very inappropriately dressed so my friend's daughter decided to decline his offer to go "upstairs and start on the windows in the bedroom" as the first step of the interview process. Very unprofessional.
Anyway, please PM me with your details and if you like what you see, we can maybe arrange for you and her to meet up and get down to business?!?
Any car wash attendants out there on 09:35 - Sep 16 by Thacks_Rabbits
I am devastated by the news regarding the above news. Would you consider ayre lowing me to work 40 hours a week for a year as work expirience or on an internship? It would look great on my c.v. And I have my own car for travelling. I can assure you also that legally this is fine and in no way breaking employment rules.
Yours in anticipation (and hope)
T. Rabbits
Hello Mr Rabbit (or may I call you Bunny?) I do sincerely apologise for any disappointment caused by the lack of vacancies. You'll just have to keep burrowing away with the job applications and eventually I'll warren t that you'll be successful in your search but don't keep hopping from job to job.
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