| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 855971 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:41 - Mar 22 with 9132 views | Boston |
What d’ya call a fake Blarney Stone?
Shamrock. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:55 - Mar 22 with 9093 views | Esox_Lucius |
BREAKING NEWS!
Engineers have just made a car that can run on parsley…
Now they're hoping to make buses that run on thyme! |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:57 - Mar 22 with 9082 views | Toast_R |
Michael Jackson was the first celebrity to demand people used his correct pro-nouns.
When asked what they were he replied "He he" |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:19 - Mar 26 with 8842 views | Boston |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:31 - Mar 29 with 8596 views | Esox_Lucius |
The worst advice you can give to someone who is being hunted by taxidermists, is to play dead. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:26 - Mar 30 with 8460 views | Esox_Lucius |
There's a small German town near Munich called Pfilzerplatz, and the town is renowned for producing fine stationery. Anyway, Munich had a problem -- the thousands of stray dogs in the city were breeding with one another and overrunning the city. So the people of Munich banded together and ran the dogs out of the city. Unfortunately, the dogs appeared in Pfilzerplatz. The dogs took over everything, and the mayor decided to evacuate the town. The paper mills were shut down, and everyone left.
But a couple days later, the townsfolk, watching their town from the hills, saw smoke rising from the smokestacks. They knew no humans were left in the town, so they concluded that the dogs had learned to operate the factories.
The mayor hurried to Munich's town hall and pleaded, "You've got to help us!
The mills are alive with the hounds of Munich! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:46 - Apr 1 with 8248 views | johann28 |
Will Smith was laughing till Jada cast him a dirty look. He was then stuck between a Rock and a hard face. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:33 - Apr 1 with 8151 views | Sonofpugwash |
Just been on a weekend residential course about reincarnation, very interesting.
Mind you, it cost nearly £800, still, you only live once. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:36 - Apr 3 with 8027 views | Sonofpugwash |
So many people these days are way too judgemental.
I can tell just by looking at them. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:46 - Apr 4 with 7917 views | Boston |
Some people say women with blond hair and big breasts are stupid. My observations tell me that this combination actually makes men stupid. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:38 - Apr 4 with 7846 views | Esox_Lucius |
Two astronauts floating outside the spaceship on a maintenance expedition decide to stop for a tea break.
One of them exclaims "Damn, I can't find any milk for my coffee"
The other one says "In space no-one can, here use cream". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:46 - Apr 4 with 7859 views | Esox_Lucius |
On the subject of wind farms; I'm a big fan. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:02 - Apr 4 with 7850 views | Sonofpugwash |
I told my friend that my aunt is in hospital and passing the time playing draughts, ludo, mahjong etc.
"Any chess?"
"No, she's gone private." | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:44 - Apr 6 with 7672 views | Sonofpugwash |
When my doctor said there's a cure for Dyslexia it was music to my arse. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:53 - Apr 7 with 7485 views | Boston |
It’s incredible how good my wife has become in bed since we entered late middle age.
All night long, she lies very still and doesn’t snore. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:49 - Apr 7 with 7428 views | Myke |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:53 - Apr 7 by Boston |
It’s incredible how good my wife has become in bed since we entered late middle age.
All night long, she lies very still and doesn’t snore. |
When my new girlfriend asked me to unscrew the lid from a new jar of marmalade, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to show how strong and macho I was. Sadly I couldn't pull it off | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:11 - Apr 7 with 7359 views | Sonofpugwash |
In Moscow I got stung by a dodgy looking wasp, although, thinking about it, it may have been a cagey bee. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:37 - Apr 8 with 7195 views | Sonofpugwash |
Anyone know how to get rid of condensation in the kitchen?
If so nip round,the kettle's always on. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:41 - Apr 10 with 7052 views | Sonofpugwash |
Getting fed up with people complaining about prices.
£2 for a coffee, £3 for a slice of cake, £5 for parking.
That's the last time I invite them round. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:53 - Apr 10 with 7030 views | Milo884 |
Im fuming! Bought a pack of cards and they were all stuck together.
I just can't deal with it. [Post edited 10 Apr 2022 9:55]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:44 - Apr 15 with 6758 views | Sonofpugwash |
To the person who stole my trainers and hi-viz jacket...
you can run but you can't hide. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:47 - Apr 15 with 6743 views | Dorse |
I asked Armold Schwarzenegger what was his favourite Christian festival. He said: 'Have to love Easter, baby'. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:33 - Apr 15 with 9472 views | HAYESBOY |
Bit of trivia.....My c0ck was in the Guinness book of records.
Until the Librarian told me to take it out. |  |
| Smells like a trout farm in here |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:53 - Apr 16 with 9291 views | Sonofpugwash |
Police are warning people to beware of a man going round attacking people with knitting needles.
They say he may be following some kind of pattern. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:35 - Apr 16 with 9212 views | Boston |
Lady was just about to hop into the shower when the doorbell rang.
Shouting out, she enquires as to who is at the door
"Blind man" comes the reply.
In a hurry and noting the man couldn' t see, she opens the door without getting dressed.
"How can I help you", she asks?
"I'm here to hang the blinds, love". [Post edited 16 Apr 2022 17:36]
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