| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 867887 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:49 - Jul 18 with 6542 views | acricketer |
Take the phrase "Fi Fy Fo Fum"
Say the phrase out loud twice, mixing up the words.
What have you got?
Chris Eubanks phone number | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:57 - Jul 18 with 6423 views | hantssi |
Where do Bad Rainbows go?
Prism
It's a light sentence, and gives them time to reflect. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:20 - Jul 20 with 6298 views | Esox_Lucius |
Three animals were having an argument over who was the best.
The Hawk said because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything from above.
The Lion based his claim on his strength.
The Skunk said he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature.
As they debated, an alligator came along and swallowed them all... hawk, lion and stinker. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:48 - Jul 20 with 6204 views | Lblock |
I saw some Aussie bloke walking this little brown fluffy dog earlier
"Pomeranian?".. I asked him.
"Ah must be an Iranian mate, I'd never own anything British".. he replied |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:13 - Jul 27 with 6002 views | colinallcars |
I met my first wife when she worked in the local baker's. Well, I'm ashamed to say I only married her because she was good in bread. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:37 - Jul 27 with 5961 views | Esox_Lucius |
You should never trust atoms; they make up everything. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:36 - Jul 27 with 5781 views | Rebalhoop |
Went to a nudist beach the other day,it’s difficult being around naked women all day,the first hour was the hardest.. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:36 - Jul 27 with 5727 views | Boston |
Father Murphy is walking through town when a scantily clad young women whispers in his ear, "fancy a quickie vicar, fifty quid for a man of the cloth."
Startled, he beats a hasty retreat back out to the monastery, where he spots Sister Bernedette going about her duties.
"Sister, I must ask you, what's a quickie?"
"Fifty quid", she replies, same as the city. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:51 - Jul 27 with 5713 views | Boston |
I met a 'lady of the night' down my local chip shop the other day.
She'd finished her meal and told me she was still hungry; I gave her my peas.
Taking a sympathetic fancy, she took me back to her place and gave me herpes. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:27 - Jul 29 with 5492 views | DavieQPR |
A blind man was doing his first freefall parachute jump. Everything was arranged. Someone would push him off at the right time. A ring would sound in his helmet when to open his parachute, again when he was near the ground and when to roll. He loved every second of it.
His dog, however, absolutely shat himself. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:54 - Aug 2 with 5286 views | Lblock |
My friends have forced me into going on a tour of Brighton, Eastbourne, Wigan and Folkestone just to do some sightseeing of coastal structures but I really don’t want to go.
I’ve succumbed to pier pressure | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:59 - Aug 3 with 5136 views | Rebalhoop |
Faculty………….cockney for “we’ve run out of teabags “ | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:19 - Aug 10 with 4945 views | Rebalhoop |
My Chinese mate told me he’s opened a Crows shop.
No I said “it’s a clothes shop”
No he said “come and take a Rook” | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:20 - Aug 10 with 4878 views | Lblock |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:19 - Aug 10 by Rebalhoop |
My Chinese mate told me he’s opened a Crows shop.
No I said “it’s a clothes shop”
No he said “come and take a Rook” |
It’s good that he’s got his own business
Should keepah him on the straight and sparrow | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:41 - Aug 13 with 4661 views | Boston |
Just read a book about an immortal dog.
It was impossible to put down. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:21 - Aug 14 with 4517 views | Dorse |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:59 - Aug 3 by Rebalhoop |
Faculty………….cockney for “we’ve run out of teabags “ |
Capable.... anyone with a neck |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:24 - Aug 14 with 4400 views | acricketer |
I couldn't believe how rude people were on the suppository helpline! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:19 - Aug 20 with 4151 views | johann28 |
So there's this Battle of Britain RAF reunion attended by Queen Elizabeth II. She gets chatting to one of the pilots: 'That's a nice-looking medal' she says, pointing to his chest. 'What did you get it for?' 'Oh', he replies bashfully, 'well, I was being chased by three Fokkers - and ... well ... I shot them all down.'
'Goodness me' says Lizzy, 'how marvellous. Were they Messerschmitts?' [Post edited 20 Aug 2023 10:25]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:35 - Aug 20 with 4042 views | Lblock |
What’s red and white and sits in a tree going “wit to who?”
A used sanitary owl | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:50 - Aug 20 with 4011 views | Esox_Lucius |
What underwear do storm clouds wear?
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Thunderpants. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:00 - Aug 20 with 3964 views | Boston |
Me. "My bother ran for parliament at the last election."
Friend. "What does he do now?"
Me. "Nothing, he got elected". | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 07:44 - Aug 21 with 3860 views | Lblock |
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless and perplexed…. | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:54 - Aug 22 with 7094 views | Sonofpugwash |
I asked my missus "What's for dinner?"
She said "Nothing".
"But we had that yesterday" I replied.
"Yes I know" she said,"I made enough for two days". |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:03 - Aug 22 with 7078 views | derbyhoop |
What were Nationwide doing when they opened their first branch? |  |
| "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain)
Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:45 - Aug 29 with 6796 views | Esox_Lucius |
Is there any truth in the rumours that Prince Albert had a Victorian semi? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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