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Club Statement 19:20 - May 13 with 4864 viewsSouthamptonfan

https://www.southamptonfc.com/news/2023-05-13/southampton-football-club-statemen

Poll: Who are you voting for?

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Club Statement on 19:38 - May 13 with 4764 viewsWinchesterExile

I want to see Kraft, Semmens, Ankersen , Steele and Selles gone by 9.00am tomorrow morning. Nothing else will satisfy me. They have possibly been the worst management team Southampton football club has ever seen.

I have a date with a bottle of tequila.
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Club Statement on 19:53 - May 13 with 4708 viewsSaintandy66

Club Statement on 19:38 - May 13 by WinchesterExile

I want to see Kraft, Semmens, Ankersen , Steele and Selles gone by 9.00am tomorrow morning. Nothing else will satisfy me. They have possibly been the worst management team Southampton football club has ever seen.

I have a date with a bottle of tequila.


What does your computer data say now Ankersen.complete idiots running this club
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Club Statement on 19:55 - May 13 with 4694 viewsSaintandy66

Computer says NO to Ankersen
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Club Statement on 19:56 - May 13 with 4690 viewsNinja9

Typical Southampton Board Bollox .
If they had any sense Selles would have been gone by 5.30 this afternoon .
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Club Statement on 20:01 - May 13 with 4671 viewsSouthamptonfan

Club Statement on 19:56 - May 13 by Ninja9

Typical Southampton Board Bollox .
If they had any sense Selles would have been gone by 5.30 this afternoon .


Worked tirelessly = lie

Thanks for effort of managers, players = A lie and taking the p!ss.

Rasmus signs the statement - he can f@ck.off.

Poll: Who are you voting for?

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Club Statement on 20:26 - May 13 with 4601 viewsTripleNiemi

Is this for real?

What a load of absolute böllox, complete and utter disaster from the top down. Fcukin laughable….

Ready and waiting to mop up those European places......

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Club Statement on 20:28 - May 13 with 4592 viewsUlsterBaz

Dreadful statement.
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Club Statement on 20:46 - May 13 with 4533 viewsWinchesterExile

Club Statement on 20:28 - May 13 by UlsterBaz

Dreadful statement.


Complete corporate bullsh*t aimed at the club’s ‘customers’.
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Club Statement on 21:04 - May 13 with 4491 viewsgrumpy

'battling till the end'
Didn't notice much of that.
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Club Statement on 21:19 - May 13 with 4447 viewsIfonly

Club Statement on 21:04 - May 13 by grumpy

'battling till the end'
Didn't notice much of that.


No, it's true. It's just that the end came about 6 months ago.
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Club Statement on 22:27 - May 13 with 4304 viewsmushinexile

Corporate BS from people who expect to interact with us on first name terms. Feck off, you are no friends of mine, the club nor the city and your platitudinous drivel serves only to sicken us all. Now GO!
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Club Statement on 23:07 - May 13 with 4202 viewsPatfromPoole

😂😂😂😂😂😂


Poll: Would you take Ward-Prowse back?

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Club Statement on 05:57 - May 14 with 4025 views1ASIN12

Club Statement on 20:01 - May 13 by Southamptonfan

Worked tirelessly = lie

Thanks for effort of managers, players = A lie and taking the p!ss.

Rasmus signs the statement - he can f@ck.off.


And Battled till the end - lie

What the fvck do they take us for comming out with shlt like that
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Club Statement on 08:13 - May 14 with 3921 viewsdwayne_dibley

UgandaSaint issued the following statement about what the Club Statement should have said:

We are very sorry for all our cock-ups, but they were made in good faith because we splashed the cash, though maybe on the wrong players.

We realised that McCarthy was not good enough so we recruited Bazunu for £10m, but other goalkeepers around the same price or cheaper included Leno (Fulham), Neto (Bournemouth), Henderson (N. Forest), Johnstone (Crystal Palace), Areola (West Ham) and Dubravka. We admit we made a mistake.

We realised that we needed a top quality striker because Adams is a 10 goal a season striker (at best) and Elyounousi and Adam Armstrong couldn’t hit a barn door at 10 paces. We went for Cody Gakpo and just as he was about to sign he got a phone call from Jurgen Klopp telling him to wait until January. There was nothing we could do, of course we should have had a back up plan in case things went wrong but we forgot. A big striker like Awoniyi might have helped, but again Forest beat us to it. Anyway we spent £70m on Mara, Onuachu, Sulemana and Alcaraz, instead of buying one good experienced striker. We admit we made a mistake.


We wanted Gibbs-White but we thought £25m down with a possible £17m add ons if he won the Golden Boot was a bit much. However as he was Man of the Match against us at the City Ground and we paid £20m for Onuachu maybe he was a bargain. We admit we made a mistake.

Many fans had pointed out that we needed a leader at the back, an experienced centre-back, so we loaned out Jack Stephens and Bednarek. Experienced defenders became available, Ben Mee (free), James Tarkowski (free), Cody Conor (loan), Eric Bailly (loan), Willy Boly (£2m), even our old Matt Target was only £15m, but we decided Salisu and Bella-Kotchap, with Lyanco and Caleta-Car would work out fine. We admit we made a mistake.

With the terrible results at the end of last season most clubs would have sacked Hasenhuttl then, but he promised he would retire soon so why should we give him a pay off when he was going anyway? When things didn’t improve (how could they without a striker?) we checked the statistics and found the best manager in Europe was Nathan Jones. Of course we considered Lopetegui, Unai Emery, Sean Dyche and even Big Sam, but Nathan had better stats. We admit we made a mistake.

When we had lost 7 out of 8 Premier League games, had spent £60m buying the giant striker and two wingers to play the “Nathan” way, we looked at the stats and gave him the boot. Now unfortunately Lopetegui and Emery had been snapped up by two other struggling teams, we’d lost Dyche’s number and Big Sam was on holiday somewhere, so we decided to take the cheap option and promote from within, Selles was our man. Unfortunately he didn’t want to play with 2 wingers and a giant striker, in fact, he didn’t want to play any striker. Now we are relegated. We admit we made a mistake.

Some fans have been suggesting we get Potter or Rodgers to manage next season but we don’t want some old has-been, we are looking for an up and coming manager like Nathan Jones. To help find the right one we are promoting Rasmus Ankersen to Big Boss of Everything because he has learned from his mistakes and promises not to make any more. He has already started looking at managerial statistics for league one and two and has spotted a promising prospect currently managing Portsmouth.

Well, I say let's get out there and tw@t it!
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Club Statement on 08:46 - May 14 with 3883 viewsgrumpy

Club Statement on 08:13 - May 14 by dwayne_dibley

UgandaSaint issued the following statement about what the Club Statement should have said:

We are very sorry for all our cock-ups, but they were made in good faith because we splashed the cash, though maybe on the wrong players.

We realised that McCarthy was not good enough so we recruited Bazunu for £10m, but other goalkeepers around the same price or cheaper included Leno (Fulham), Neto (Bournemouth), Henderson (N. Forest), Johnstone (Crystal Palace), Areola (West Ham) and Dubravka. We admit we made a mistake.

We realised that we needed a top quality striker because Adams is a 10 goal a season striker (at best) and Elyounousi and Adam Armstrong couldn’t hit a barn door at 10 paces. We went for Cody Gakpo and just as he was about to sign he got a phone call from Jurgen Klopp telling him to wait until January. There was nothing we could do, of course we should have had a back up plan in case things went wrong but we forgot. A big striker like Awoniyi might have helped, but again Forest beat us to it. Anyway we spent £70m on Mara, Onuachu, Sulemana and Alcaraz, instead of buying one good experienced striker. We admit we made a mistake.


We wanted Gibbs-White but we thought £25m down with a possible £17m add ons if he won the Golden Boot was a bit much. However as he was Man of the Match against us at the City Ground and we paid £20m for Onuachu maybe he was a bargain. We admit we made a mistake.

Many fans had pointed out that we needed a leader at the back, an experienced centre-back, so we loaned out Jack Stephens and Bednarek. Experienced defenders became available, Ben Mee (free), James Tarkowski (free), Cody Conor (loan), Eric Bailly (loan), Willy Boly (£2m), even our old Matt Target was only £15m, but we decided Salisu and Bella-Kotchap, with Lyanco and Caleta-Car would work out fine. We admit we made a mistake.

With the terrible results at the end of last season most clubs would have sacked Hasenhuttl then, but he promised he would retire soon so why should we give him a pay off when he was going anyway? When things didn’t improve (how could they without a striker?) we checked the statistics and found the best manager in Europe was Nathan Jones. Of course we considered Lopetegui, Unai Emery, Sean Dyche and even Big Sam, but Nathan had better stats. We admit we made a mistake.

When we had lost 7 out of 8 Premier League games, had spent £60m buying the giant striker and two wingers to play the “Nathan” way, we looked at the stats and gave him the boot. Now unfortunately Lopetegui and Emery had been snapped up by two other struggling teams, we’d lost Dyche’s number and Big Sam was on holiday somewhere, so we decided to take the cheap option and promote from within, Selles was our man. Unfortunately he didn’t want to play with 2 wingers and a giant striker, in fact, he didn’t want to play any striker. Now we are relegated. We admit we made a mistake.

Some fans have been suggesting we get Potter or Rodgers to manage next season but we don’t want some old has-been, we are looking for an up and coming manager like Nathan Jones. To help find the right one we are promoting Rasmus Ankersen to Big Boss of Everything because he has learned from his mistakes and promises not to make any more. He has already started looking at managerial statistics for league one and two and has spotted a promising prospect currently managing Portsmouth.


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Club Statement on 10:22 - May 14 with 3764 viewsUlsterBaz

“Fought tirelessly” is my favourite bit. 🤣
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Club Statement on 06:23 - May 15 with 3538 viewsPaleRider

I know why Rishi was there on Saturday - this kind of drivel could have been written by Conservative Central Office (other political parties are available).
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Club Statement on 10:09 - May 15 with 3448 viewsWestEndBoy

Sunaks car and multiple police motorbikes nearly took me and my boy out driving up Britannia road at 5.05. Couldn’t of got away quick enough
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Club Statement on 05:27 - May 16 with 3220 viewssaintwizzler


We thought that we had the answers, It was the questions we had wrong.
Poll: Central Midfielders for WHU game?

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