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Today, there I was sat in a conference room of our headquarters in Cardiff. Around 30 other professional people, more like exec's than anything all sat listening to one person give a presentation. At these event s I try stay in the shadows and not be noticed, but this time I was asked to stand and say a piece. Well everything went to rat shit, I was in a room full of people ive never met, and my legs wobbled, voice started to squeak, then that terrible feeling when you know your face has gone as red as a tomato. And of course, EVERYONE is sat watching and waiting to hear this garbled jumbled crap that is trying to come out of my mouth. I couldn't string a sentence together, there were plenty of umms, eerrsss, oookkkkss, but no intelligible speech.
So my question to other members here, do any of you suffer from this lack of confidence when talking to a group at work. And please someone tell me of their bad experiences so I don't feel alone in this dark horrible professional world, where you have to speak to get noticed.
My methods are not favoured by some but by god i speak the truth.
As my dog once asked me, once the US got downgraded from AAA status, what is the alternative to using T-bills for measuring risk free return under CAPM?
Dog didn't know the answer though.
Sh1t, I wish I'd kept my mouth shut now. You've just reminded me how little I know and it's accelerated my karzi appointment. Anyone got Shaky Buffett's number?
Someone once asked me to MC a Comedy Club night in America (I was in America at the time, I should add). I had to remember what the acts had asked me to say about them and I had to be confident and above all I had to be funny, and all of this to a bunch of Septics who couldn't understand my 'British' accent.
Probably the most frightening thing I've ever done.
Point of the story is, when I'd got through it I had the biggest high ever. The more nervous you are, the bigger the reward when you don't fail. And you never fail if you have a firm conviction that you know what you're going to say and the audience doesn't know. As has been mentioned, the prevailing feeling out there is "I'm glad it's not me"
If it's a presentation to peers ,then ensure you have the content bang on.
Different gravy doing it to a sullen, formal group of strangers..
I gave countless briefings to subordinates and senior officers and local politicians so I ensured I knew the facts, details and to speak slowly and clearly. Simple, but if they can't understand you, it's hard.
Vital to gain attention from the off and to get them on your side, if you re selling an idea or concept.
I had six weeks of training on how to be a trainer spent every assessed lesson blundering, stuttering through it was worse than embarrassing.
I spoke to a mate who said I dont know that bloke up there be yourself, pretend your at your desk and someone less experienced has asked for some help.
It was the best bit of advice just be yourself, I used to worry about talking fast, being Welsh, swearing, saying something non pc, if I was sweating too much all sorts of shit, I still get nervous but use it to get the adrenalin going and get a real buzz when I get a good reaction......I still send a few off to sleep tho.
As for a story got really annoyed with two guys who had ripped the piss out of another trainer, asked them to stay so I could have a word, ripped into them and initially they continued to be a bit gobby but then went very quiet the more animated I become the quieter they went....I didn't realise that I had slowly picked up the chair I was initially resting my hand on and was waving it about a bit as I went on a rant......I left not long after realising I was probably not suited to it.
Never show your audience you're nervous. Retain eye contact. Be animated. Move about. Be passionate about what you are speaking about. Try to involve the audience. Do more of it. The more you do, the easier it becomes.
POSTER OF THE YEAR 2013.
PROUD RECIPIENT OF THE SECOND PLANET SWANS LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD.
First presentation ever was to a room of 300 people. It didn't go well. Did the same again a week later and it sailed by. Guess if you don't sink then you swim. Usually still dread them beforehand but fine when get going. Just practice. They'll get better
I went to the yearly QSR meeting with my company in a hotel in Solihull last week. Sat around the table with all the big heads of this and that and felt completely out of place. Glad I didn't really have to say much, and only reply to things.
Strangely if I was in a gang or small group I didn't know I would lack confidence, I find it hard to have a chat in a pub with strangers . But I can get up in front of a crowd and give a presentation with no worries, weird I know
Some very good advice here.. one possibility also, join a Toastmasters group if they have them in the UK(?) - very supportive group, you'll soon learn how to relax and have them laughing in the aisles (with you not at you).
Debating is great fun as people (as here) get passionate about proving their point so nerves tend to get forgotten especially if it is a more informal open debate.
I had to give a presentation to the CBI about something I'd been instrumental in putting together. I knew the subject matter better than anyone.
Anyway, it was a warm day and the sun was coming through large glass windows. It wasn't a PP presentation but I had cue cards just to make sure I got everything across.
I started off well, having done many presentations. But the heat was on, literally and I got to the part where I was about to tell them the name if this new product. Something, I repeat, I knew as well as my own name. But could I remember it??!! Just before getting to that part, I was acutely aware if my own voice. I could hear it but I was divorced from it. A very surreal experience.
I froze. I looked at my cue cards while sweat exited every pore in my body. They were in my hand writing but they may as well been in Sanskrit because it was ink on paper. Nothing made sense.
I looked at everyone and they just stared back at me. This went on for 20 a 40 seconds which was a lifetime in such circumstances.
A couple if things raced through my mind. Should I faint? That would get me out if it. Or should I run off to the toilet pretending I was ill! Or should I get myself together and get back on focus. Luckily it was the latter and I raced to the end just to get off.
I was 'lucky' in that I had another presentation to make the next day which I was absolutely dreading. But it was similar to getting straight back on the bike after falling off.
I don't work now so don't have to do these but all subsequent ones were always laced with fear of that experience raising its head again.
It should give Sgorio some heart to know so many on here let alone the outside world have had similar experiences. One bad one can ruin you as your subconscious mind stores the fear and whenever you go to do it again a feeling of dread returns and almost convince you the same thing is going to happen again.
I've had it bad a few times, even to the point of hyperventilating on more than one occasions with panic attack like symptoms!
I got help via a hypnotherapist/counsellor who not only reprogrammes the subconscious to try to cut the problem off at source but also how to deal with it should it rear it's head again. Like another poster said nobody died so laugh it off and practice speaking to your family for example to give you the confidence the next time you do it.
Also take a glass of water up to the podium with you so should you have a wobble use that to buy you time to compose yourself. I find a good way of mesmerizing an audience whilst speaking is to use a lot of hand gestures (not bad ones obviously!) but it takes the focus off your face if that makes any sense at all. I also find hand gestures suggest to your audience that you're well versed in your subject (even though you think you may not be!).
I now deal with the public doing presentations for sometimes up to three (sometimes five!) hours so it's definitely helped me!
If anyone needs the number of a good hypnotherapist drop me a pm, glad to help.
Each time I go to Bedd - au........................
It's never easy, even if you are well practised at speaking to an audience. I did some theatre/amdram as a teenager-even went on a residential course which taught me a lot and gave me confidence. Short term the best thing is to get some presentation skills training. I was fortunate to do this when I worked at a research institute that had a number of courses like this. Whilst i was already OK, it showed me a number of pointers to improve. Most importantly you get to watch yourself present-this may seem scary but really is the best way to visualise how you can improve. I still suffer from a lack of confidence as I worry people will work out I'm just some 'Neath/Valleys Thicko' when they all speak so nicely but this has begun to fade as i realise people (even in academia) quite like straight talking rather than 'look how clever I am' approaches.
Remember no-one is better than you and you have the right to speak. Everyone can do it (though of course some are always better), but it should be enough I hope,
I m the opposite as I m not fazed by speaking and certainly don't feel inferior to anyone ever. Suppose its arrogance.
When Heseltine was visiting Toxteth post 81 riots, although young in service I was chosen to speak to him and his staff about the Police prospective which was like trying to mitigate or defend Himmler . He was ok .
ScorioFruit! Your question about a lack of confidence? I seriously believe that speaking in front of and to a large gathering of complete and utter strangers would be daunting even for a lot of supremely confident personalities.
I have a 'confident' close relative whom is a highly experienced medical professional/team leader a person thats of coolness personified character whom was absolutely terrified and a complete and utter wreck when asked to do a 'presentation' recently. The waiting to be called up was torture in itself. Public speaking to a large audience of strangers really does take a person out of his/hers comfort zone.
I reckon its something not too dissimilar to stage fright. I was shocked to read that entertainers like Agnetha Faltskog (blonde from ABBA) and Mike Yarwood had to hit the bottle to perform to their audiences. You had the guts to do something many would absolutely dread!
I'm with Sgorio on this. For all the bravado and humour I have I go to pieces in front of an audience in that kind of setting. I've had to give presentations to our sales force, to visiting schools and universities and to my bosses, and every time I get flustered so badly that my mouth dries up completely. Yet, if we were sat in a pub I'd be able to speak and joke without a problem.
It's all about preparation. Know and, importantly have confidence in what you're talking about. You wouldn't have a problem talking to each of them on a one to one basis, so just keep eye contact with one person at a time, and try to get inhibitors such as size of the group/room out of your mind
Unless you're a confident and engaging speaker (then this wouldn't be an issue) then half the buggers aren't fully listening anyway.
I've seen presentations where one of the panel has interrupted and said that the candidate has 30 seconds to take a glass of water, and relax, or leave as he was wasting their time with his ineligible and nervous talk. He lasted another minute.
Closest I've come to a nightmare is nearly fainting, I must have been wobbling all around the shop while trying to stay upright, but somehow pulled it all together. I don't think half the buggers even noticed, they said it was a good presentation!
The point about a glass of water is worth noting. You can get cottonmouth but you probably won't when you know the remedy is close to hand, and a quick sip gives you those seconds to compose yourself, make some strategic decisions about whether to cut things short, or go with a more jokey approach etc
As you can see from the numerous empathetic responses to this thread, most folk have a hard time talking coherently to a large bunch of complete strangers. It seems counter intuitive but, in my experience, sometimes its best to be authentic and just say how nervous you're feeling. On one occasion, I just stopped what I was babbling on about, took a deep breath and said honestly, "My God, I'm shaking like a leaf and I must look like a complete fool up here. Please bear with me guys....let me take a quick sip of whisky here...oops I meant water....and I'll try to pull myself together". Cue laughter and relief. It worked. It probably went over much better than if I'd just pretended to be in control of myself and actually it was all rather exhilarating.
I was always on the committee of local Neath league football clubs from my early 20's on, and I used to hate the Annual General Meetings 'cos I would have to give the "Secretary's report". I was naturally shy as a teenager, and it carried through, it took me all of 10 years to realise that maybe I should relax. I suddenly recognised that other people also become nervous and for some reason it became easier. The guy earlier who mentioned about listeners cutting you some slack is perfectly correct. No one likes to watch someone fail at it, even if it's just because they wouldn't want to do it themselves. A study was done many years ago that said that after the fear of death, the next largest fear was public speaking....................unless of course, you're Monmouth. And the least said about that the better.
Good post, the more you do it the easier it gets Take HJ, very nervous 13 years ago, rarely getting up in public, now seams to have contoured the nervy start
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