Last month LFW offered up a few guesses and suggestions on where QPR might find their salvation in the summer transfer window. Since then it’s become clear that the cheque book is firmly closed, so Chris King examines our revised options.
Summer without football can be very trying. So thank goodness for the transfer window to bring annual delight to us – the football-obsessed British public – with its bizarre rumours and endless prospects for improvement and reinvention for the high flyers of the Premier League. For QPR, however, the story has been one of immense frustration based around the seemingly incurable intransigence of owners Flavio Briatore and Bernie Ecclestone with regards to potential signings.
With the club still sporting its wounds from the inconceivably misguided four year contract dished out to Patrick Agyemang, amongst others, ‘Tango’ and ‘Cash’ have seen fit to rub salt into said ailments. They have done this, ostensibly, by delaying any new arrivals at Loftus Road until the past week, and possibly putting Rangers’ hopes of top-flight survival in jeopardy. So, in an attempt to disperse those black clouds which have hung over W12 since the promotion party ended, here is the QPR ‘Signings Carousel’.
Intended as a light-hearted look at the varying paths Neil Warnock’s men could tread towards Premier League survival, or indeed relegation without a whimper in January, it will involve the good, the bad, and the criminally abysmal with regards to potential squad-building prior to kick-off on August 13.
Scott Parker
Whilst it is debatable as to whether Parker would actually come to QPR, even declaring some sort of official interest in him would prove that the R’s mean business in the Premier League. Great sides are almost always built around a never-say-die, box-to-box midfielder, and Parker fits the bill perfectly. Probably available for around £5million, the signing of a man capped by England and last year’s PFA Player of the Year would send a clear message out to the fans that the club is ready to match the financial commitment they’ve dug so, so deep to make. Still available with a predicted move to Spurs yet to materialise and Chelsea trying to secure a loan deal.
Kyle Walker
The epitome of a footballer destined for greater things, Walker arrived on loan at Loftus Road last season and made the right-back spot his own (not especially difficult, it ought to be noted) with a succession of eye-catching displays. Confident on the ball, willing to get forward and desperately unlucky not to score his first senior goal against Norwich City courtesy of an agonising deflection off Heidar Helguson, Walker was a class apart from the beginning.
Following a loan spell at Aston Villa, where his abilities were admittedly subject to greater scrutiny, he still appears on track to become a long-term solution to England’s perennial lack of sufficiently-talented right full backs. His attacking impetus will be invaluable to Capello’s side, as well, in providing the extra dimension England so often lack. In summary, a superb young talent, with an eye for getting forward; a bit like Glen Johnson, but actually able to defend as well. Unlikely to be tempted back to Loftus Road, but still worth an enquiry nonetheless. He’d be welcomed back with open arms, no question of doubt about it.
Sergio Canales
For those QPR fans with some knowledge of top-flight Spanish football, or more relevantly, knowledge of the latest instalment of Football Manager, this wonder-kid should be at least mildly familiar. A typical European attacking midfielder, just 20 years old and already boasting ten first team appearances, he is surely worthy of being described as another quality product of the Santiago Bernabéu academy.
His experience prior to moving to Los Blancos – at Racing Santander – means he wouldn’t be one of the young, pampered stars big clubs can tend to churn out, who are often unafraid of hard work and ‘getting stuck in’ at the wrong end of the table. Put it this way, Canales is not another Daniel Parejo. He’s far better than that, and the R’s owners can’t afford to ignore him if they wish to properly equip Neil Warnock for the fight of his managerial life.
Niko KranjÄar
Okay, now this one really is a dream signing. Assuming Taarabt does win his ideal move to Paris Saint German to wander around a football pitch and wonder if he really is the best footballer alive before confirming to himself that he in fact is, Croatia’s KranjÄar is a more than suitable replacement. An international with more caps than a West Coast rap artist, KranjÄar’s height would be an asset in a division based as much on brawn as unbridled creativity, whilst his ferocious shot could just provide the goals needed to make the difference between seventeenth position and the dreaded relegation zone.
Now if Bernie and Flavio really were serious about making QPR a ‘boutique club’, this is the sort of player they ought to be looking at. Even though any declaration of interest would presumably be met with ridicule by the national papers, just to have the Spurs midfielder mulling over the prospect of moving across London to join the mighty Superhoops is an honour indeed. Plus he’d be a great partner for Alejandro Faurlin, the man whose shoulders the R’s Premier League hopes are apparently resting upon.
Ryan Bertrand
In all probability Chelsea left-back Bertrand wouldn’t take the Premier League by storm. At the age of 21, however, he will undoubtedly be looking for a permanent move to kick-start his career after a succession of loan spells. Yet if this isn’t impressive enough, his list of recent clubs should be; they include recently-promoted Norwich City, play-off side Nottingham Forest, and perennial promotion candidates Reading. With 16 Under-21 caps to his name, and having made his debut in international youth football in just 2006 at the age of 17, Bertrand is no stranger to high-pressure situations.
Furthermore he would be an ideal long-term replacement for Clint Hill, who despite last season’s heroics probably won’t last long in the top flight. Having already been linked with Wolves, Swansea City and West Bromwich Albion, it is clear that clubs in the position QPR would almost certainly wish to find themselves in a year’s time see Bertrand as an important part of their future plans. For this reason it would be wrong for the Rangers owners to look past such a promising English talent needing a break to truly prove his worth.
Peter Whittingham
Charlie Adam conclusively proved last year that in order to stand a chance of surviving in the Premier League, a decent set-piece taker is a necessity. The Scotsman’s particular skills earned him a dream move to Liverpool, but QPR need not scour such lofty heights to find their own dead ball specialist. Look no further than Peter Whittingham, a consistently high performer in the Championship who is rarely below the top ten in terms of goals and assists. With Cardiff City having missed out on promotion to the promised land yet again and currently cashing in on their playing squad, he’d probably be willing to leave the delights of South Wales behind to have a stab at making his name in the Premier League, and maybe show former club Aston Villa that they missed a trick in letting him go.
Kyle Naughton
Last season’s PFA Championship right-back of the year is in a somewhat similar position to Ryan Bertrand in terms of his being contracted to a Premier League club, in Tottenham Hotspur, and loaned to lower league sides to gain experience. He is also a fellow Under-21 international, having made his debut in November 2008, and has thus been brought up to play football ‘the right way’. With their similarities in mind, the prospect of having two prospective England full-backs on either flank must surely be an attractive one for Neil Warnock.
Further to this, Naughton shares a certain penchant for attacking with the aforementioned Kyle Walker, and thus is a ready-made upgrade on Bradley Orr. Rangers fans have put up with twelve months of Orr and his solid but by no means spectacular style, as well as his woefully inadequate crossing, and now is the time to upgrade. Enough of the battered old Nokia, R’s fans deserve a brand new iPhone and must invest if they are to build a backline capable of handling top-flight strike forces on last year’s solid foundations.
Andy King
Yes, it’s another central midfielder, but this lad is certainly special. Perhaps not worthy of being grouped with Niko KranjÄar, King has nonetheless established himself a reputation as arguably the Championship’s most complete central midfielder. With a goal haul of 34 in 144 appearances, and nine Wales caps under his belt at just 22, his inclusion in the PFA team of the year alongside Naughton shows how invaluable he was to Leicester’s late surge up the table. King would be a solid replacement for Taarabt if he goes, partly because you wouldn’t expect him to throw a strop up at Blackburn and decide he just ‘doesn’t fancy it today’.
Jay Bothroyd
This particular entry on the Signings Carousel will be a little different to the others, with Bothroyd already having put pen to paper on a three year deal at Loftus Road. Amongst the relief of the impoverished QPR masses, some of whom have shelled out £1,000 to pay weekly/fortnightly homage to players such as Bothroyd, his arrival can be likened to the first taste of ice cold water taken by those of desperate thirst, having trawled the desert without reward for hours. Yet amidst all the excitement, there is a serious question to be asked. Is he actually any good?
In short, it’s probably a yes. Bothroyd scored 41 goals in 116 games at Cardiff City, including 18 last season. Not a bad record, and with no outlay Bothroyd is somewhat less of a risk than he might have been. Furthermore the recent England cap will have an awful lot to prove; to Arsenal, the more critical sections of the media, and those who believe he can’t cut it at the summit of English football. Here’s hoping Bothroyd proves them all wrong, and that R’s fans see Bothroyd Mark Three (2008-2011), not the petulant teenager sold by Arsenal all those years ago.
DJ Campbell
Another possible risk, but on the basis of last season alone, it could just be one worth taking. Campbell was an indispensable part of Blackpool’s valiant battle against relegation from the Premier League, and thus has a year’s experience of exactly the sort of dogfight QPR will be finding themselves in from the minute Neil Warnock’s charges run out onto the pitch against Bolton.
He’s a local boy, having been born just up the road in Hammersmith, and he’ll be desperate to return to the Premier League to build on his 13 goal haul for the Tangerines, without which they’d have stood little chance of even mounting a proper fight against the drop. Apparently available for a fairly reasonable price – quoted as being somewhere in the region of £1.25million – Rangers could do far worse than look to the spritely, energetic Campbell, and go against the pattern set by Norwich and Swansea by actually signing a player with top-flight experience.
Steed Malbranque
Steed Malbranque was, at one point, one of the Premier League’s hottest prospects, and proved at Fulham that he is a worthy member of most mid-to-lower table starting XIs. His spell at Sunderland may not have yielded any trophies or particularly mind-blowing displays, but he was consistent in the 102 games he starred in for the Black Cats.
With this in mind, and a strong, experienced squad needed to cope with the transition to Premier League football, Malbranque would be a sensible move for Warnock, especially if he is willing to sign a one-year deal, as this could make him hungrier than he would otherwise have been to show that he’s still got it at 31 years of age. If you need any further persuading, the last player the R’s signed who had previously turned out for Tottenham proved to be fairly good, so Malbranque could well do the same.
Wayne Routledge
Making one’s mind up conclusively on the exact value added by the presence of Wayne Routledge on the flank is difficult for even the most astute observer. During a large part of his career Routledge flattered to deceive – at Newcastle, Spurs, Villa and Fulham – and never really ‘made it’ in the way most expected him to. Yet the former Crystal Palace winger was a significant contributor to QPR’s title victory last year. Scoring five goals in 19 games, including arguably the goal of the season to secure victory against Coventry City, Routledge was a key player for Neil Warnock at Championship level.
His vital strike against Reading showed the extent to which he could come up with the goods when required, but whether Routledge can make the step up and really prove himself remains to be seen. With Nottingham Forest and Swansea City both interested in the 26 year old, it is fair to say that most R’s fans would expect the top brass at Loftus Road to at least make a gentle enquiry as to whether the winger would welcome a return to W12.
Max Gradel
Max Gradel was without a doubt one of the most exciting players in the Championship last year. It may take some time for certain Rangers supporters to forgive the 23 year old for raining on the R’s joyous victory parade during the final match of last season, but his trickery and pace were key to Leeds United being the second highest scorers in the league. With Norwich City gambling on League One potential in Elliot Bennett, Warnock ought to seriously consider going one better and making a move for Gradel, provided the money men can be convinced as to the virtue of the deal.
Pasquale Foggia
28 year old Foggia is most probably an unknown quantity to most QPR supporters. Much like the question in the GCSE science exam nobody revised, when asked who Foggia is the most likely answer would either be “who?” or “I thought that was a type of bread.” Despite his lack of notoriety in the United Kingdom – understandable given that his entire career to date has been played out in Italy – Foggia has an impressive CV.
Three senior Italian caps and a plethora of youth experience, plus 69 appearances for former Italian giants Lazio mean he could have something to offer the Premier League’s least-fancied side. Previous forays by the current QPR owners into Italian football have yielded little success – see the following section for more details – but Foggia could be the answer to the R’s perennial lack of a proper left-winger, which has been the case since Lee Cook departed for Fulham all those years ago.
Jimmy Bullard
The ‘Jimmy Bullard issue’ has proven to be a rather thorny one down at Loftus Road. The prospect of signing the former Wigan Athletic, Hull City, Fulham and Ipswich Town midfielder has veritably split R’s fans down the middle. Why is this the case? As a starting point it seems wrong not to point out that few supporters doubt Bullard’s ability. This is not the question. With Bullard the concerns are of a more practical nature.
Firstly, he is 32 years old and throughout the latter (ironically the most successful) part of his career, the East Ham-born midfielder’s fitness has been called into question on a number of occasions. Secondly his wages will undoubtedly be a huge stumbling block as no matter how strong Warnock’s desire is to see Bullard don the blue and white hoops, given his £45,000-a-week Premier League wages at Hull, it is unlikely that he would accept an amount significantly lower than this were he to re-join England’s top flight.
Kieron Dyer
Again, as with Bothroyd earlier, deep analysis of former Newcastle star Kieron Dyer has already been dished out by the Rangers faithful, many of whom are unsurprisingly sceptical and worried by the level of faith Warnock seems to be placing in Dyer. His time at West Ham United, during which Dyer enjoyed a contract of £60,000 per week (some figures suggest £80,000 plus), was marred by a succession of crippling injuries and first-class career regression. In four years at the club the 32 year old winger played just 30 matches, yet now Warnock seemingly feels Dyer is the man to replace Adel Taarabt, whose departure must be imminent.
The signing of Dyer on a one-year deal isn’t the biggest risk in the world, as on his day the pacy midfielder could represent teams likely to be far higher up the Premier League table than QPR. What will be of concern to R’s fans is the faith Warnock places in Dyer, and the fact that a player largely derided and ridiculed throughout the past four years might now be being looked upon as our only hope of Premier League survival. A chilling prospect indeed, but there is a chance – however minute – that the biggest gamble of Warnock’s QPR career might just pay off big time.
Brian Murphy
When this particular rumour emerged a couple of weeks ago one would imagine that the first, and perhaps only word on R’s fans lips was “who?” This is understandable, for 28 year old Murphy, despite starting his career with Manchester City, made his name with Bohemians in Ireland before returning to English football with Ipswich. By all accounts Murphy’s record at Bohemians was excellent; indeed his time at the club appears to have been covered in significant glory, and tinged with great success. It will not shock many people therefore that such a talented Irish goalkeeper was brought over to Suffolk by Roy Keane as part of his textbook ‘Irish managerial formulae’.
Indeed, during his time at Ipswich Murphy wasn’t exactly poorly received. So why is he in this particular section of the Signings Carousel? No offence intended to Murphy, but even the least astute observer could work out that QPR’s main squad-building priority is not a third choice goalkeeper. Particularly when Paddy Kenny played all but two league games last season, keeping over 20 clean sheets in the process. When he wasn’t available, number two ‘keeper Radek Cerny stepped up to the plate, as is the pattern at most clubs. So why is a third choice goalkeeper such a priority for the club’s owners? One reason, and one reason alone can explain this. Money. Murphy would be free, and the very definition of a quick and easy fix to a problem that never existed in the first place.
Danny Webber
Cast your minds back to last summer, and the explosion of boundless optimism that followed Neil Warnock’s dramatic salvage operation which kept Rangers afloat in the Championship. For once in a number of years, the fans’ positivity was justified, but there were a few bumps in the road which have been conveniently ironed out by our successes over the past season.
One of these was Leon Clarke. Described by Warnock as a ‘risk’ and a ‘gamble’ when unveiled by the club, he was certainly these two things. Clarke failed to score in 13 league appearances and was swiftly shipped out to Preston North End on loan. From this point onwards all QPR supporters most probably associated the terms ‘risk’ or ‘gamble’, quite rightly, with players who simply aren’t up to the required standard and will produce nothing in the way of results.
The ‘Clarke experience’ ought to have educated both Warnock and the club that players shouldn’t be signed simply because they are able to be. Yet Danny Webber has somehow crept into the consciousness of the managerial/ownership structure at Loftus Road – shockingly, given his return of one goal in 25 games for Portsmouth – as shown by his starting berth in the friendly with Harrow Borough on Friday. Whilst Warnock has said that Webber hasn’t yet been offered a deal, a number of sports media outlets have run with the story that the 29 year old will be offered a one year deal.
Children learn very quickly when they are growing up. One accidental touch of the oven or standing too close to the fireplace will teach them in a matter of seconds that both objects are hot and can cause serious pain. However it seems that a number of grown men who really ought to know better are seriously considering having their fingers burnt again by a ‘risky signing’. So what’s the worst part of all this? You’d struggle to find anyone in a replica shirt who is even the slightest bit surprised.
Alessandro Pellicori/Matteo Alberti
Whilst these two aren’t strictly new signings, their return to the club from respective loans at Torino and Lumezzane will have sent shivers down the spines of thousands of R’s fans. The alleged £1million splashed out by, you guessed it, Gianni Paladini on Pellicori must be considered a crime against football of the highest order. In his eight first-team games for the club the striker demonstrated a lack of pace so shocking one could be lead to believe he was pretending, and absolutely no footballing intelligence or natural aptitude for the game whatsoever.
Handing out such a harsh judgement to Alberti seems wrong, given his age and lack of first-team experience, but he is the footballing equivalent of a party guest nobody invited turning up out of the blue. The fact that these two are now back at Loftus Road may have been dismissed as innocuous by Rangers supporters hoping for more illustrious arrivals. However there is a far more sinister possibility that the Briatore/Ecclestone/Paladini triangle of evil is actually of the opinion that, rather than spending money on competent footballers, these two could ‘bolster’ our Premier League squad. If so, they are set for a very rude awakening indeed.
Joe Cole
Five years ago, at around this time, Joe Cole was one of England’s brightest stars in the dismal 2006 World Cup campaign. He had been named in the PFA Team of the Season following a momentous year for Chelsea, for whom he had been a key player. Injuries then took their toll on the winger, who joined Liverpool in 2010 after his Chelsea contract expired. Unlike Cole’s innings for Chelsea – 183 appearances and 28 goals – his spell at Liverpool was deeply uninspiring and failed to live up to any of the hype surrounding his arrival on Merseyside.
Yet despite the injuries, despite the poor season for ostensibly a top-six Premier League side, the prospect, no matter how slight, of Cole returning to West London with QPR is very attractive indeed. Immediately after the R’s elevation had been confirmed by the FA wild rumours began to swirl through the air that Rangers, still at this point ‘the richest club in England’ to dim-witted observers, would match Cole’s Liverpool wages of more than £80,000.
Obviously this was never going to happen, and with clubs such as Hamburger SV, Aston Villa and West Ham now interested in the 29 year old, it is unlikely that any interest from W12 – were it to have existed in the first place – would be taken seriously. Perhaps fans and journalists alike were still drunk off the wonderful fumes of promotion, but for one glorious moment the prospect of a player once so integral to England, and the scorer of that goal against Sweden, pitching up at Loftus Road was sweet indeed.
Owen Hargreaves
Now be honest, you thought he’d retired, didn’t you? There’s no shame in it. Owen Hargreaves, who like Cole came into his own at the 2006 World Cup, has been one of the most nondescript of Premier League big names since joining Manchester United in 2007. Now 30, and with just 27 first team games for Sir Alex Ferguson’s side under his belt in four years, Hargreaves’ form guide is rather similar to Kieron Dyer’s. ‘Have a run in the side, pick up injury, recover from injury, pick up another injury. Play a couple of games, pick up serious injury. Lather, rinse and repeat.’
Only now there is a new Owen Hargreaves out there, and he means business. At least judging by the defensive midfielder’s YouTube videos, which show him engaging in various gym-based pursuits in a vain effort to prove his new-found fitness. Judging by Warnock’s view of Dyer, if there is any chance Hargreaves’ wages could be accommodated by the owners, and a complete lack of interest from more established top-flight sides, perhaps Hargreaves could be tempted to sign up for the QPR experiment – building a Premier League dream team circa 2007.
Thus concludes the Signings Carousel. With two of these players having already joined Neil Warnock’s ‘motley crew’, one could be lead to believe that the floodgates had well and truly been opened. Alas, as reported yesterday from the mouth of Sir Neil himself, the gaffer will likely only be given a miserly £1.25million to sign DJ Campbell. The rest of the squad will therefore presumably be formed as it always is at QPR; cheaply, inefficiently, shoddily, without proper regard for the team’s problem areas, and if Mr. Paladini has anything to do with it, semi-legally. As for the £90million promotion pot, Rangers supporters will be wondering for weeks on end where the money is going, and if the club will ever have owners willing to put the best interests of Queens Park Rangers FC before their own.
@chriskking follows @loftforwords on Twitter. Join him, and us, for all manner of fun and games.