Half term QPR report, and January sales wish list — guest column

Chris King on how Rangers have fared so far and what they need to do to ensure that they avoid the dreaded bottom three come May 2012.

Overall: C-

Queens Park Rangers were firm favourites to go down at the start of the season, and a 4-0 defeat at home to Bolton Wanderers on the opening day was a fairly inauspicious way to begin the campaign. A board reshuffle, some bold (not to mention expensive) new signings, and that most morale-boosting of victories, a 1-0 triumph over Chelsea, and the R’s lie in sixteenth, two points off the relegation zone.

Few supporters would have expected much better, this writer included, but with the acquisitions of players of the stature of Joey Barton, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Luke Young and Armand Traore, somehow this feels like a disappointing position to be in. Too many home draws, the age old problem of a terminal lack of goals, and missed opportunities (Newcastle United, Sunderland and Blackburn Rovers at Loftus Road spring to mind), and the West London minnows have dropped an entire grade rather rapidly.

From that magnificent victory at Stoke City, it seems a few players have really slacked off, and Neil Warnock has a huge job to ensure that Joey Barton starts playing football and ceases his obsession with the Smiths, Noam Chomsky, Twitter and popular culture. As well as this, there is the perennial problem of Adel Taarabt, the Moroccan failing to live up to even a modicum of the hype he himself created last season, and attempting to sulk his way out of W12, a demeanour which has caused Warnock to relegate the former Rangers captain to the bench.

Defence: C

This is certainly an area in dire need of strengthening. Last season’s defence was unquestionably built around the incredible vintage year mustered by Irish stopper Paddy Kenny, and once again he has proven himself an invaluable asset as shots have rained in on his goal from all angles.

Yet strength in depth remains a major issue. Luke Young has acquitted himself well at right-back since arriving from Aston Villa, as most expected him to, given the Englishman’s vast top-flight experience. Armand Traore undoubtedly adds a new aspect to the R’s left side in an attacking sense, but at times his defending is suspect, and with the margin for error so narrow in the Premier League, and Clint Hill only getting older, this will be a concern for Neil Warnock as he feasts his eyes on possible January signings. Indeed, Traore’s defensive stint against Sunderland was so diabolical that his unsuitability for the position was lost on nobody, least of all Warnock and those assembled in the Upper Loft. Injuries have also plagued the central defensive positions, and it must be said that Anton Ferdinand has performed admirably in a unit which has shipped 31 goals in 17 games. However, Danny Gabbidon is hardly an imperious, dominating figure at the back, and Matt Connolly has never played at this level. Plus, the less said about Fitz Hall, perhaps the tallest footballer of all time (with the notable exception of Jay Bothroyd) to be unable to win a header against even the most diminutive of challengers, the better.

Midfield: C+

QPR’s midfield is actually quite strong, and theoretically they probably have the best line-up of all the promoted sides. Alejandro Faurlin, already a fan favourite for his honest, dogged play and ability to spot a pass the entire stadium could have missed, has flourished in the top flight. He is now truly a Premier League-standard footballer, and his unwillingness to shoot from distance aside, Faurlin could easily merit an A for his impressive first half of the campaign.

Joey Barton, meanwhile, has flattered to deceive, big-time. An expert talker, the former Newcastle midfielder could throw obscure philosophy at you all day and probably convince a great number of deluded souls that the world is in fact flat, but he has patently not performed over the past few games. His woeful displays against Manchester United and Sunderland are not at all befitting of a captain, particularly one allegedly earning in excess of £60,000 a week, and Barton really needs to buck his ideas (and set-piece play) up if he expects to win back the wavering QPR faithful.

Derry has been as industrious as ever, in the brief moments when he has made the starting 11, but he is patently not of Premier League quality, and a replacement boasting similar tenacity, commitment, bite in the challenge and energy would be very welcome indeed. Last, but by no means least, is Shaun Wright-Phillips, who has turned from tormentor to tormented. He appears unwilling to take players on, whether due to lack of fitness, confidence or waning pace, but deprived of this most potent of weapons, the former Chelsea winger is practically useless. With the aerial threat of Heidar Helguson waiting in the box, Wright-Phillips ought to be in his element, but in far too many matches he is bypassed physically, and little more than a bystander. And even in this most financially wasteful of divisions, another hefty weekly wage for a bystander isn’t well spent.

Attack: E

Where to start? Cardiff City fans must have garnered some strange, vindictive satisfaction from the manner in which Jay Bothroyd has failed to set the Premier League alight. In fact, his top-flight adventures with the R’s have been even more disappointing than this, there’s barely been a spark from the man who fired the Bluebirds into third last season and even made the England squad. Rangers have been desperately unlucky in the striking department, in that DJ Campbell, whose electric pace really ought to be utilised to a greater extent by Warnock, was missing for so long, but the fact that the ball has nestled in the opponents’ nets on more than one or two occasions is entirely down to Heidar Helguson.

This writer was hugely sceptical of Helguson’s merit when Warnock took over, but the straight-talking Yorkshireman has transformed this tired workhorse into an indispensable cog, albeit in a dysfunctional machine. Just eight goals at home, and one paltry victory, should be enough to convince every board member, supporter, the coaching staff, the playing staff, and Warnock, that strikers must be sourced. And fast. Swansea City may not be scoring much either, but their defence has conceded two at home compared to Queens Park Rangers’ 15. The reason why Norwich City will be staying up this season? They can score goals. The R’s must learn how to do this most basic, and most vital of acts, and fast.

So what can be done?

Herein lies the beauty of the season. Christmas is a wonderful time. Your family and friends are all free from the drudgery of work, there’s snow outside (unlikely) and a warm fire roaring at home, and the January transfer window is about to slide open once again. Warnock, unless he really has lost it in his very public transformation from bile-spitting, up-front maniac to polished media man just “happy to be in the Premier League,” really ought to have a long shopping list indeed. Here is mine:

Chris Samba, Blackburn

Matt Jarvis, Wolverhampton Wanderers

Jordan Rhodes, Huddersfield Town

Sebastian Bassong, Tottenham Hotspur

Niko Kranjcar, Tottenham Hotspur

Junior Hoilett, Blackburn Rovers

Kevin Doyle, Wolverhampton Wanderers

Billy Sharp, Doncaster Rovers

Robert Snodgrass, Leeds United

Ryan Bertrand, Chelsea

Nedum Onuoha, Manchester City

Let’s hope Rangers supporters have a few nice presents under the tree by the time the window slams shut, otherwise it will be a long 21 games, especially now the R’s are undeniably in the midst of a relegation battle. Bah, humbug.

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