| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 819439 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:17 - May 16 with 8685 views | qprphil |
Skinny little Irish bloke goes into the elevator, looks up and see's this huge black guy standing next to him.
The big guy see's the little Irish man looking at him, he looks down and says, " 7ft tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis,6lbs of testicles, Turner Brown." The little white Irish man faints, and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, " what's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guys says, " what EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude says, " I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
I'm 7ft tall, I weigh 350lbs, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3lb each, and my name is Turner Brown." The little white Irishman says, " Turner Brown?! sweet Jesus I thought you said turn around.!!!!" | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:30 - May 19 with 8462 views | qprphil |
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When a detective asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words
" give me all your money or I'll shoot, one man shouted, " that's not what I said!!!!!" | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:36 - May 19 with 8421 views | colinallcars |
I was playing piano in a jazz pub.
A bloke came up and said “hey, I liked those augmented chords you used in the middle eight”
“I got that from Gillespie” I said.
“Dizzy?” he said.
“well, I've had a few pints of ESB” I replied. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:31 - May 24 with 8250 views | dontknowitall |
If Benny and Bjorn had been called Steve and Dave, the group would have been called ASDA |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:21 - May 25 with 8036 views | Boston |
The Green Party have just released their manifesto - if elected they will ensure the buses run on thyme. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:30 - May 25 with 7976 views | Myke |
Two heavily armed thugs tried to rob a shop in inner-city Dublin. But the owner ordered them out as neither was wearing a mask | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:48 - May 26 with 7936 views | Boston |
Why are burglars sensitive?
They take things, personally. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:02 - May 26 with 7793 views | qprphil |
Don't let them take your temperature on your forehead when you enter the supermarket because it erases your memory.
I went for macaroni and cheese, and came home with two cases of beer.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a thirty five minute walk from the pub to my house, the difference is staggering.!!!!! | | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:11 - May 27 with 7701 views | Boston |
The German Chancellor decides to take a trip to Poland, where she is stopped by Immigration...
"Name?", asks the officer
"Merkel", she replies
"Nationality?"
"German"
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a couple of days". [Post edited 27 May 2021 1:12]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:03 - May 27 with 7557 views | johncharles |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:11 - May 27 by Boston |
The German Chancellor decides to take a trip to Poland, where she is stopped by Immigration...
"Name?", asks the officer
"Merkel", she replies
"Nationality?"
"German"
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a couple of days". [Post edited 27 May 2021 1:12]
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| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:05 - May 28 with 7457 views | Boston |
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One...they're very efficient. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:01 - May 28 with 7435 views | Boston |
The only thing 'Flat Earthers' have to fear...
is sphere itself. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:32 - May 28 with 7407 views | Sir_Chops |
I lasted less than an hour as an IT consultant. My first client asked me how to make his laptop sleep.
I told him to sing it a lullabyte. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:24 - May 28 with 7347 views | colinallcars |
I'd just come out of the King's Arms yesterday when I bumped into my local vicar.
“It saddens me to see you come out of that place” He said. So I went back in. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:40 - May 30 with 7112 views | Esox_Lucius |
A CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been
going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to pray, twice a day, every day, for
a long, long time.
To check it out, they went to the Wall, and there he was, walking slowly up
to the holy site.
She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave,
using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me Sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Feinberg," he replied
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall to pray?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to
love their fellow man."
"And how do you feel Sir, after doing this for 60 years?"
"Well It's like talking to a fücking brick wall." |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:41 - May 30 with 7041 views | loftboy |
Today the Police have said they have found a piece of luggage on a desert island.
They say it is an isolated case. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:51 - May 31 with 7023 views | Boston |
Y'know the worst thing about Tiger wood's accident?
It'll probably add to his handicap. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:25 - May 31 with 7002 views | Boston |
An elderly Californian lady is watching the news when she sees a story about a car going the wrong direction down a local highway.
Concerned, she calls her husband who she knows is driving along that same stretch of interstate.
"Darling", he replies, "you better contact that tv station and tell them there's thousands going the wrong way"! | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:45 - May 31 with 6862 views | Esox_Lucius |
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak found that they were getting chilly. The problem started when they lit a fire in the craft and it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:53 - May 31 with 6824 views | Myke |
A 6- year- old boy watched his daddy try to enter the Hertz building near the airport. When the door didn't open, his father banged on it rather impatiently. 'Go easy daddy,' shouted the boy. 'It's already in pain.' | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:04 - May 31 with 6809 views | pragueranger |
Today it was reported that all restaurants in Munich have run out of sausages and cheese.
It's a wurst kase scenario. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:26 - May 31 with 6784 views | colinallcars |
I used to suffer from low self esteem. Eventually, I went to see a psychiatrist.
After listening to me for a while, he smiled benignly and said “ You must go out and really find yourself.”
I said “I'll pop down the Nag's 'Ead mate, I'm down there most evenings.” | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:34 - Jun 1 with 6644 views | Esox_Lucius |
Whilst doing his history homework, my son asked me what I knew about Galileo,
I said that all I know is that he’s just a poor boy from a poor family. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:12 - Jun 2 with 6527 views | johncharles |
Man walks into a shop with a salmon on his shoulder and asks “Have you got any fish cakes “
“No” comes the reply
“That’s a pity, it’s his birthday “ | |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:26 - Jun 3 with 6346 views | colinallcars |
It's a really rough area where I live. I was washing the car today when a policeman approached me.
“Er, excuse me sir, sorry to bother you sir, but did you hear a car backfiring about half an hour ago ?” He said.
“Well, yes” I said. “But I just assumed it was a gunshot” | | | |
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