| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 822353 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:16 - Sep 3 with 10968 views | Lblock |
When I first met my wife all those years ago I knew straight away she was a keeper
It was the massive gloves that gave it away |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:22 - Sep 3 with 10957 views | DesertBoot |
In a moment of madness I broke into the Scotland Yard kitchen and tipped all the herbs onto the floor.
I've been charged with wasting police thyme. |  |
| Wish I could be like David Watts |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:49 - Sep 3 with 10881 views | johncharles |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:18 - Aug 30 by northampton_hoop |
Two birds sat on a perch, one says to the other “can you smell fish?” |
Two dyslexics
“Can you smell gas ?”
“ Can’t even spell my own name” |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:53 - Sep 3 with 10878 views | johncharles |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:59 - Aug 31 by CaptainPugwash |
Arrrrrr....
How do 'e circumcise a Sperm Whale?
Send four skin divers down.
She were only a fishmonger's daughter but she noo 'ow to lay on a slab an' say fillet.
Yo Ho! |
Did she have a naval base full of discharged seamen ? | |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:55 - Sep 4 with 10834 views | ade_qpr |
What's the best way to find long lost relatives?
Win the lottery. |  |
| If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:20 - Sep 4 with 10778 views | Esox_Lucius |
I've been given a part in a play about the female reproductive cycle.
My role is to stand at the end of a pipe representing the fallopian tube and put tennis balls in it to demonstrate egg generation.
I told the producer that I'd feel stupid just standing there carrying out such a basic mundane acting role and stormed out.
I asked the wife what she thought; she said I'm just ovary acting. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:49 - Sep 4 with 10756 views | dontknowitall |
If you get a link called 'free porn' don't open it.
It is a birus that deactivarts your spelchex and garblis up your riting. i also reciebed it but luckily i dontt does porn si i didant opin it.... |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:39 - Sep 4 with 10701 views | Esox_Lucius |
She was only a jockey's daughter but all the horse manure. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:45 - Sep 4 with 10643 views | Lblock |
She was only a road layers daughter..... she loved her asphalt | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:16 - Sep 4 with 10601 views | Mick_S |
She was only the carpenters daughter but she gave all the boys circular saws |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:40 - Sep 4 with 10576 views | ade_qpr |
Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it. | |
| If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:48 - Sep 4 with 10567 views | Esox_Lucius |
She was only a plasterer's daughter but she was always covered in muck. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:53 - Sep 4 with 10558 views | Mick_S |
She was only the coalminer's daughter but she had plenty of slack in her knickers. | |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:55 - Sep 4 with 10490 views | Mick_S |
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
In Dubai they don’t watch the Flintstones… but Abu Dhabi do! | |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:15 - Sep 4 with 10471 views | Boston |
So the annual beer producers conference winds up and everyone heads over to the bar. The president of Miller, orders a Miller Lite, president of Budweiser, a Bud, CEO of Coors, a Coors Lite and so on down the line 'till it was Arthur Guinness's turn, to everyone's surprise he orders a Coke.
Bar man leans over and informs him they do have Guinness on draft.
"That's ok" says Arthur, "if no-one else is drinking beer"..... | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:17 - Sep 4 with 10464 views | ade_qpr |
What kind of music to chiropractors listen to?
Mostly hip-pop | |
| If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:32 - Sep 4 with 10444 views | Boston |
Why has Keith Richards asked to be cremated?
Police estimate his ashes would have a street value of 750 grand. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:20 - Sep 4 with 10347 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:17 - Sep 4 by ade_qpr |
What kind of music to chiropractors listen to?
Mostly hip-pop |
Undertakers.....the Grateful Dead. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:24 - Sep 4 with 10323 views | hubble |
Bloke walks into a pub with a steering wheel stuffed down his trousers and orders a pint.
The barman says 'excuse me mate, but you do know you've got a steering wheel down yer trousers?'
'Yeah,' the bloke replies, 'it's driving me nuts.' |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:46 - Sep 4 with 10307 views | BathRanger |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:14 - Aug 30 by NW10Hoop |
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones
Trombones |
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:19 - Sep 4 with 10289 views | Lblock |
One of my personal favourites:-
I entered a camouflage competition at the weekend - came second
The judges couldn't find a winner | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:51 - Sep 5 with 10171 views | Esox_Lucius |
The Magnificent Seven were invited to appear in a lucrative series of adverts for aftershave, filmed at Liverpool F.C.
Only six of them did; Yul never wore cologne. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Sep 5 with 10137 views | dontknowitall |
My mate told me that he had a brilliant new hearing aid.
I said 'What kind is it?'
He said 'Three o'clock' | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:38 - Sep 5 with 10126 views | Mick_S |
My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people. | |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:57 - Sep 5 with 10111 views | ade_qpr |
What is the Australian animal that most resembles the Australian male?
The wombat, because it eats, roots and leaves. | |
| If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? |
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