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Managing our mental health 18:15 - Feb 6 with 46151 viewsKeithHaynes

This works. We shouldn’t forget our responsibilities to ourselves.

1. Value yourself:
Treat yourself with kindness and respect, and avoid self-criticism. Make time for your hobbies and favorite projects, or broaden your horizons. Do a daily crossword puzzle, plant a garden, take dance lessons, learn to play an instrument or become fluent in another language.

2. Take care of your body:
Taking care of yourself physically can improve your mental health. Be sure to:
Eat nutritious meals
Avoid smoking and vaping-- see Cessation Help
Drink plenty of water
Exercise, which helps decrease depression and anxiety and improve moods
Get enough sleep. Researchers believe that lack of sleep contributes to a high rate of depression in people.

3. Surround yourself with good people:
People with strong family or social connections are generally healthier than those who lack a support network. Make plans with supportive family members and friends, or seek out activities where you can meet new people, such as a club, class or support group.

4. Give yourself:
Volunteer your time and energy to help someone else. You'll feel good about doing something tangible to help someone in need – and it's a great way to meet new people.

5. Learn how to deal with stress:
Like it or not, stress is a part of life. Practice good coping skills: Try One-Minute Stress Strategies, do Tai Chi, exercise, take a nature walk, play with your pet or try journal writing as a stress reducer. Also, remember to smile and see the humor in life. Research shows that laughter can boost your immune system, ease pain, relax your body and reduce stress.

6. Quiet your mind:
Try meditating, Mindfulness and/or prayer. Relaxation exercises and prayer can improve your state of mind and outlook on life. In fact, research shows that meditation may help you feel calm and enhance the effects of therapy.

7. Set realistic goals:
Decide what you want to achieve academically, professionally and personally, and write down the steps you need to realize your goals. Aim high, but be realistic and don't over-schedule. You'll enjoy a tremendous sense of accomplishment and self-worth as you progress toward your goal.

8. Break up the monotony:
Although our routines make us more efficient and enhance our feelings of security and safety, a little change of pace can perk up a tedious schedule. Alter your jogging route, plan a road-trip, take a walk in a different park, hang some new pictures or try a new restaurant.

9. Avoid alcohol and other drugs:
Keep alcohol use to a minimum and avoid other drugs. Sometimes people use alcohol and other drugs to "self-medicate" but in reality, alcohol and other drugs only aggravate problems.

10. Get help when you need it:
Seeking help is a sign of strength – not a weakness. And it is important to remember that treatment is effective. People who get appropriate care can recover from mental illness and addiction and lead full, rewarding lives.

This post has been edited by an administrator

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Managing our mental health on 19:44 - Jul 10 with 2947 viewsonehunglow

My God,it shows just how this site can help .
Better to cuss and bitch and release the poison as poison it is .
We are able to help one another

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Managing our mental health on 16:22 - Jul 14 with 2823 viewsBoundy

Managing our mental health on 19:09 - Jul 7 by SullutaCreturned

Honestly, my mental health hasn't been great this last few months. I know very well why that is and I can't do anything about it. I had a complete meltdown a couple of days ago, shouting and swearing, a full on hysterical rant.

I needed to get it out of my system and I actually felt better afterwards but it was a result of bottling things up, trying to be strong for my sister who has terminal cancer.

Fortunately I have a forgiving wife and my boss in work has been helpful too.

Don't bottle things up folks, it doesn't end well. Talk to someone.


We may not think it at the time but we all need a mental release , be it shouting screaming or even crying , I find I'm talking to myself more (consciously ) whilst walking the dogs and that seems to keep me on an an even keel , but the black dog does sit on my shoulder when I recall certain aspects of my health ,so now I'm in a routine with looking and planning for tomorrow . No shame whatsoever in asking for someone to listen ,it does help and yes you need to stay strong and positive towards your sister , if you are then hopefully it will help you both , all the very best

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Managing our mental health on 14:13 - Jul 21 with 2681 viewsAndyconky

I'm finding as someone that is new to the city, is a lack of a social circle. I'm trying lots of things like the LC2 but it's really difficult as a 50 year old man to break through and start again. People of my age are mostly already settled but it seems I just need to keep going apparently!

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Managing our mental health on 22:31 - Jul 21 with 2640 viewsKeithHaynes

Managing our mental health on 14:13 - Jul 21 by Andyconky

I'm finding as someone that is new to the city, is a lack of a social circle. I'm trying lots of things like the LC2 but it's really difficult as a 50 year old man to break through and start again. People of my age are mostly already settled but it seems I just need to keep going apparently!


Or just pull yourself together 🙄

You know where I am mate.

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Managing our mental health on 18:21 - Jul 25 with 2558 viewsRhonddaSwans

Managing our mental health on 20:15 - Feb 6 by onehunglow

Don’t drink coffee after 7pm.
Avoid alcohol when possible and have three alcohol days per week.
Be yourself.Always .
Be lucky because fortune is the single most significant factor that affects life’s


i like the sound of that 3 days a week is achievable

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Managing our mental health on 18:57 - Jul 26 with 2509 viewsswan65split

Managing our mental health on 18:21 - Jul 25 by RhonddaSwans

i like the sound of that 3 days a week is achievable


3 days! I only drink 2, so will have to find another one too add.

i also find at times putting a few upbeat music you tube videos on full blast and pretending to be a 16 yr old again helps lift the gloom.

do what's best for you.
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Managing our mental health on 18:59 - Jul 26 with 2509 viewsSullutaCreturned

Managing our mental health on 18:21 - Jul 25 by RhonddaSwans

i like the sound of that 3 days a week is achievable


I have a coffee after 7 most evenings but I probably only have 30-35 days per year when I drink alcohol and maybe only 4-5 of those will be more than 2 pints.

I always try to be myself, being someone else is just too hard whih I know from experience.

Had a major event and walked away from work last Friday but my boss has been very understnding, told me to take as much time as I need and I am booked in with a mental health counsellor for next week.

I'm being open about this becaue when I say to people it's important to talk to someone, I'm not just spouting off.
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Managing our mental health on 18:10 - Aug 21 with 2214 viewstrampie

Mental health has become a big thing in recent times, society seems to recognise there is an issue with male mental health affecting both young and old males, what I would like to know is 'is it best to bottle everything up and man up and carry on' ?

That is what I've done for my mental health for decades man upped and carried on, don't dwell on bad unfortunate things in the past, I could not even tell you key dates like loved ones birthdays, dates of death etc etc , because it's put to one side and locked away.

So why does everybody seem to be saying you should dwell on bad events and memories all the time, that doesn't sound good to me.
My attitude to mental health up to this point seems to have worked for me, but are the general public been given good advice as regards talk to someone, bring it all back, dwell on it etc ?
[Post edited 21 Aug 2023 18:44]

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Managing our mental health on 18:24 - Aug 21 with 2215 viewsonehunglow

Managing our mental health on 18:59 - Jul 26 by SullutaCreturned

I have a coffee after 7 most evenings but I probably only have 30-35 days per year when I drink alcohol and maybe only 4-5 of those will be more than 2 pints.

I always try to be myself, being someone else is just too hard whih I know from experience.

Had a major event and walked away from work last Friday but my boss has been very understnding, told me to take as much time as I need and I am booked in with a mental health counsellor for next week.

I'm being open about this becaue when I say to people it's important to talk to someone, I'm not just spouting off.


You can only ever be yourself
Looking into the glass is what it’s all about

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Managing our mental health on 19:41 - Aug 21 with 2193 viewstrampie

Managing our mental health on 18:10 - Aug 21 by trampie

Mental health has become a big thing in recent times, society seems to recognise there is an issue with male mental health affecting both young and old males, what I would like to know is 'is it best to bottle everything up and man up and carry on' ?

That is what I've done for my mental health for decades man upped and carried on, don't dwell on bad unfortunate things in the past, I could not even tell you key dates like loved ones birthdays, dates of death etc etc , because it's put to one side and locked away.

So why does everybody seem to be saying you should dwell on bad events and memories all the time, that doesn't sound good to me.
My attitude to mental health up to this point seems to have worked for me, but are the general public been given good advice as regards talk to someone, bring it all back, dwell on it etc ?
[Post edited 21 Aug 2023 18:44]


Disappointing no comments, perhaps I'm doing something wrong as regards my mental health, does nobody not care ?

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Managing our mental health on 12:01 - Aug 22 with 2155 viewsBoundy

Managing our mental health on 19:41 - Aug 21 by trampie

Disappointing no comments, perhaps I'm doing something wrong as regards my mental health, does nobody not care ?


What works for you may not work for others , there's nothing imo manly about bottling up your feelings especially when you've experienced many traumatic events . Many ex vets or public servants speak out out because by doing so it can act as a release mechanism , in my experience , you never forget but sometimes it's easier to manage those memories by speaking out . One of the problems in getting vets for example to speak is how can one explain and describe a situation to someone who hasn't gone through similar experiences hence the issues of bottling up and the side effects created by not .

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Managing our mental health on 13:21 - Aug 22 with 2129 viewstrampie

Managing our mental health on 12:01 - Aug 22 by Boundy

What works for you may not work for others , there's nothing imo manly about bottling up your feelings especially when you've experienced many traumatic events . Many ex vets or public servants speak out out because by doing so it can act as a release mechanism , in my experience , you never forget but sometimes it's easier to manage those memories by speaking out . One of the problems in getting vets for example to speak is how can one explain and describe a situation to someone who hasn't gone through similar experiences hence the issues of bottling up and the side effects created by not .


Thank you Bounty for replying, I was beginning to think nobody cared when everyone around you dies tragically young and there are not any blood family left to talk too, i was beginning to think how poor it was that fellow message board members were not going to reply on such a subject to a fellow board member but you did.

I understand that the general view point is that it is good to talk but I don't think that is necessarily the right course of action in every case, having a 12 year old boy to talk about the loss of a parent, having a teenager to talk about the loss of another parent acknowledge the situation and tell them that things will get better (whether that is true or not) but it's not good to get somebody to dwell on things, perhaps it's different for an adult.

All cases are different and what is beneficial in some cases might not be in others, thanks for the response.
[Post edited 22 Aug 2023 13:23]

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Managing our mental health on 19:42 - Aug 22 with 2085 viewsSullutaCreturned

Managing our mental health on 13:21 - Aug 22 by trampie

Thank you Bounty for replying, I was beginning to think nobody cared when everyone around you dies tragically young and there are not any blood family left to talk too, i was beginning to think how poor it was that fellow message board members were not going to reply on such a subject to a fellow board member but you did.

I understand that the general view point is that it is good to talk but I don't think that is necessarily the right course of action in every case, having a 12 year old boy to talk about the loss of a parent, having a teenager to talk about the loss of another parent acknowledge the situation and tell them that things will get better (whether that is true or not) but it's not good to get somebody to dwell on things, perhaps it's different for an adult.

All cases are different and what is beneficial in some cases might not be in others, thanks for the response.
[Post edited 22 Aug 2023 13:23]


Talking about something doesn't mean you are dwelling on it. In fact people who bottle it up ften end up dwelling on t long after it s healthy.

It's not weak to talk about your problems, in fact it is most likely that so many men commit suicide because they don't talk.

Two people I know who committed suicide never told anyone of their problems. One was, on the face of it happy go lucky, he had a beautiful wife who is a wonderful person and a beautiful daughter too. He ws always smiling and happy and nobody knows why he did t because he left no clue. He didn't talk about it.
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Managing our mental health on 21:49 - Aug 22 with 2057 viewstrampie

Each to their own, I don't think being a sissy is the way to go, I would rather be strong and tough, look forward and not back as much as possible, on the downside I have heard that approach can eventually catch up with somebody even decades later in the end.

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Managing our mental health on 03:02 - Aug 23 with 2035 viewsKeithHaynes

Managing our mental health on 18:10 - Aug 21 by trampie

Mental health has become a big thing in recent times, society seems to recognise there is an issue with male mental health affecting both young and old males, what I would like to know is 'is it best to bottle everything up and man up and carry on' ?

That is what I've done for my mental health for decades man upped and carried on, don't dwell on bad unfortunate things in the past, I could not even tell you key dates like loved ones birthdays, dates of death etc etc , because it's put to one side and locked away.

So why does everybody seem to be saying you should dwell on bad events and memories all the time, that doesn't sound good to me.
My attitude to mental health up to this point seems to have worked for me, but are the general public been given good advice as regards talk to someone, bring it all back, dwell on it etc ?
[Post edited 21 Aug 2023 18:44]


It depends on who you are talking to. A qualified Cognitive behavioural therapist ( CBT ) will carefully manage that process, where as a mate down to pub may just get you pissed and make you more unhappy.

It will also depend on the issue, is it a death, bullying, potential loss, drugs, alcohol etc. If it’s alcohol don’t go down the pub with a mate. 😉

Careful management is the wording Trampie. Some people are good at it, others are not. Some accept help, others don’t or won’t. If someone actually travels through their life with no mental health issues they are either unique or not recognising the place they are in. I’ve known many people who are classed as ‘nutters’ who could have possibly done with some help at crucial periods in their lives. Most are still regarded as nutters ( because that’s what they always have been ) the knew no longer with us have died because of their lifestyle ( we go back to alcohol, drugs etc ) or because they chose to end it in some bizarre way.

Suicide in men is increasing, and it’s gaining more publicity, I’m glad it has. That still didn’t stop a good mate claiming he owned a farm just outside Gloucester a good few years ago, nobody believed him. He stole the farmers horse ( a big white bugger ) and rode it in to town chasing police officers with a sledgehammer. He is quite a famous boxer from the 90’s, a lovely man to this day. Who because of his horse riding skills now has help with his behaviour and life choices.

I suppose it depends how desperate you are for help ?

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Managing our mental health on 07:48 - Aug 23 with 1999 viewstrampie

Modern living can be very stressful what with the pay gap between workers, cost of houses and cars, lack of community compared to the past with pubs, places of worship, youth clubs etc closing, welfare system benefits restricted, the cost of services like dentists and opticians, doctors hard to get appointments for.
And on top of real mental health issues which are probably been made worse by modern living, mental health has now become the new bad back to get time off work.

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Managing our mental health on 09:16 - Aug 23 with 1980 viewsSullutaCreturned

Managing our mental health on 21:49 - Aug 22 by trampie

Each to their own, I don't think being a sissy is the way to go, I would rather be strong and tough, look forward and not back as much as possible, on the downside I have heard that approach can eventually catch up with somebody even decades later in the end.


Maybe you should have told all those veterans of WW2 who talked about it that they were sissy's?
I watched the 75 year commemorations and saw veterans crying as they told their stories, were they sissy's?

How strong and tough are you really? Maybe the truth is that you are not strong enough to share your problems? Maybe you're too much of a coward to admit your inner feelings to anybody?
Bottling things up isn't being tough.
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Managing our mental health on 09:36 - Aug 23 with 1958 viewstrampie

Managing our mental health on 09:16 - Aug 23 by SullutaCreturned

Maybe you should have told all those veterans of WW2 who talked about it that they were sissy's?
I watched the 75 year commemorations and saw veterans crying as they told their stories, were they sissy's?

How strong and tough are you really? Maybe the truth is that you are not strong enough to share your problems? Maybe you're too much of a coward to admit your inner feelings to anybody?
Bottling things up isn't being tough.


People in the forces are no stronger or weaker than the rest of society, a regimental sergeant I used to talk too used to tell me squaddies are just a reflection and product of society many of them weak with frailaties just like many in society, there is nothing special about people in the forces per se, there are some amazing people in the forces as we know but intrinsically all in all no different to civilians, training can make a difference ot course.

So you think that weak is the new strong and strong is the new weak is it
[Post edited 23 Aug 2023 10:32]

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Managing our mental health on 09:56 - Aug 23 with 1956 viewsSullutaCreturned

Managing our mental health on 09:36 - Aug 23 by trampie

People in the forces are no stronger or weaker than the rest of society, a regimental sergeant I used to talk too used to tell me squaddies are just a reflection and product of society many of them weak with frailaties just like many in society, there is nothing special about people in the forces per se, there are some amazing people in the forces as we know but intrinsically all in all no different to civilians, training can make a difference ot course.

So you think that weak is the new strong and strong is the new weak is it
[Post edited 23 Aug 2023 10:32]


That's not what I said and I'm not surprised you failed to understand.

I pointed to the veterans of WW2 because what those people went through and survived means they can hardly be called sissy yet they talked about it, very many of them talked about it.

What is considerd strong or weak is merely a reflection of society too. How can it be considered strong not to talk about your problems if you end up committing suicide?

The strong survive whichever way they go about it.

There's no kudos in proclaiming on the internet you are tough and strong because you won't talk about your problems. As we know, often what we see posted on the www is arrant nonsense and often complete BS.
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Managing our mental health on 10:04 - Aug 23 with 1938 viewstrampie

Managing our mental health on 09:56 - Aug 23 by SullutaCreturned

That's not what I said and I'm not surprised you failed to understand.

I pointed to the veterans of WW2 because what those people went through and survived means they can hardly be called sissy yet they talked about it, very many of them talked about it.

What is considerd strong or weak is merely a reflection of society too. How can it be considered strong not to talk about your problems if you end up committing suicide?

The strong survive whichever way they go about it.

There's no kudos in proclaiming on the internet you are tough and strong because you won't talk about your problems. As we know, often what we see posted on the www is arrant nonsense and often complete BS.


Getting personal on a mental health thread..tut tut
Stay strong sh*g,.......oh hang about you don't think that is right do you...so stay weak butt have a meltdown....oh hang about that can't be right surely....no stay strong buttie.

All the best, the point is there is not a right way or a wrong way what works for some might not work for others, I hope everything works out ok for you.

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Managing our mental health on 10:14 - Aug 23 with 1927 viewsSullutaCreturned

Managing our mental health on 10:04 - Aug 23 by trampie

Getting personal on a mental health thread..tut tut
Stay strong sh*g,.......oh hang about you don't think that is right do you...so stay weak butt have a meltdown....oh hang about that can't be right surely....no stay strong buttie.

All the best, the point is there is not a right way or a wrong way what works for some might not work for others, I hope everything works out ok for you.


Maybe you can't see it but you have just had the meltdown and gotten personal.

You were too weak see, you believed a general comment about the www was aimed directly at you.

Which part of my comment do yu believe was personally about you? Because if the no kudos part has upset you...

Everything will work out ok for me, I will get through what ails me because I am strong enough to get help. My family and friends will hel me through my current problem.

Nobody is an island.
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Managing our mental health on 10:22 - Aug 23 with 1908 viewstrampie

Managing our mental health on 10:14 - Aug 23 by SullutaCreturned

Maybe you can't see it but you have just had the meltdown and gotten personal.

You were too weak see, you believed a general comment about the www was aimed directly at you.

Which part of my comment do yu believe was personally about you? Because if the no kudos part has upset you...

Everything will work out ok for me, I will get through what ails me because I am strong enough to get help. My family and friends will hel me through my current problem.

Nobody is an island.


That is good news that you have help and support and that you feel positive, I wish you well and I'm sure everything will work out just fine for you.

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Managing our mental health on 09:42 - Aug 25 with 1819 viewsBoundy

Managing our mental health on 21:49 - Aug 22 by trampie

Each to their own, I don't think being a sissy is the way to go, I would rather be strong and tough, look forward and not back as much as possible, on the downside I have heard that approach can eventually catch up with somebody even decades later in the end.


Being called a sissy for opening up is disingenuous to those who've recognised for themselves it's the right thing to do. Are are you physically strong and tough or is that the persona you wish to portray because believe me and you're correct, at some point in your life you'll find you have frailties just like the rest of us

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Managing our mental health on 10:43 - Aug 25 with 1811 viewsonehunglow

Some interesting points regarding WW 2.
Thousands upon thousands suffered incredible sub human brutality by the Japanese

I had an uncle who suffered it and another who got away in Dunkirk.
My father was in the RAF based in Fairford.

There was no option then but to put up with it and simply man up.
Most did,many didn’t although they are well forgotten now ,much like our veterans now.

Mental Health isn’t about being sad,disappointed or peer ed off ,it’s far deeper a subject and needs professional help.
It’s out there now and it’s something that is worth shouting about .

Life is easier these days physically but not sure mentally

For me, women had it much harder in days gone by
Look around any home and empty everything apart from a couple of chairs ,some pots and pand and cutlery ,then ask how the hell did they bring up kids,cook for husbands,clean and scrub and set the children for school then bring them back ….on foot.Then time to attend to husband

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Managing our mental health on 20:13 - Aug 26 with 1757 viewsFireboy2

Managing our mental health on 10:04 - Aug 23 by trampie

Getting personal on a mental health thread..tut tut
Stay strong sh*g,.......oh hang about you don't think that is right do you...so stay weak butt have a meltdown....oh hang about that can't be right surely....no stay strong buttie.

All the best, the point is there is not a right way or a wrong way what works for some might not work for others, I hope everything works out ok for you.


What a fvcking tit you are.

You literally have no idea of what people with mental health problems go through.

There is a right way and I should fvcking know, its to talk about your problems, get them out to people are prepared to listen.

You obviously don't have any problems as if you did and used your methods you would be six feet under.
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