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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 819084 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 19:01 - Mar 9 with 7338 viewsloftboy

I’ve got the perfect answer to the coronavirus, I’ve bought a pair of Tony Roberts goalkeeping gloves, well he never caught anything whilst wearing them!!

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

1
Corny Joke Warning on 08:16 - Mar 10 with 7168 viewsWokingR

Corny Joke Warning on 13:44 - Mar 6 by Toast_R

Apparently every one at John Lennon Airport has been quarantined.

Imagine all the people...


Just told my wife this.
Her response - "God, that's awful"
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:06 - Mar 12 with 7026 viewsloftboy

to the person who stole my trainers and hi-viz vest 'you can run but you cant hide'

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

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Corny Joke Warning on 07:45 - Mar 21 with 6835 viewsBazzaInTheLoft

"The cat scratched my groin when he saw that woman from Strictly"
"Claudia Winkleman?"
"No, man, but it was close"
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Corny Joke Warning on 08:14 - Mar 21 with 6798 viewsqprxtc

What do you call a small yellow squarish type vegetable?
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Corny Joke Warning on 09:04 - Mar 21 with 6764 viewsEsox_Lucius

Corny Joke Warning on 08:14 - Mar 21 by qprxtc

What do you call a small yellow squarish type vegetable?


Very good.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 11:24 - Mar 25 with 6639 viewsloftboy

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three - one left ear - one right ear - and the final front ear

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

2
Corny Joke Warning on 07:59 - Mar 26 with 6522 viewsjohann28

Corny Joke Warning on 11:24 - Mar 25 by loftboy

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three - one left ear - one right ear - and the final front ear


I'm still undecided where to go for Easter this year...the living room or the bedroom?
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Corny Joke Warning on 20:40 - Mar 26 with 6417 viewsEsox_Lucius

The large pane of glass fell out of my front window and smashed, I called a glazier and he replaced it. Two days later the glass fell out again so I called the glazier back. While he was replacing the glass again I asked him why my glass keeps falling out he said “it's quite common around here it’s down to an animal going round eating the linseed oil in the bonding that holds the glass in place”, I said “an animal what kind of animal?” he said “its a cat, a putty cat”

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 21:23 - Mar 26 with 6398 viewsCiderwithRsie

Corny Joke Warning on 11:24 - Mar 25 by loftboy

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three - one left ear - one right ear - and the final front ear


But Davy Crockett is King of the wild front ear.
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Corny Joke Warning on 23:36 - Mar 26 with 6361 viewsBoston

This bulk buying really gets me down and I know who uses up all the toilet paper....arseholes.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 23:38 - Mar 26 with 6357 viewsBoston

Y'know why I don't tell Corona Virus jokes?

It usually takes people two weeks to get it.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 23:42 - Mar 26 with 6347 viewsBoston

They've shut down the hair salons, nail parlours, tanning bed, waxing centre's and elective plastic surgery's....its getting ugly out there.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 23:45 - Mar 26 with 6344 viewsBoston

D'ya know what's going to happen in 2033 if there's a baby boom because of this?

A whole bunch of quarenteens.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 23:46 - Mar 26 with 6342 viewsFredManRave

Corny Joke Warning on 23:42 - Mar 26 by Boston

They've shut down the hair salons, nail parlours, tanning bed, waxing centre's and elective plastic surgery's....its getting ugly out there.


I'll get back to you in a fortnight on this one...

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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Corny Joke Warning on 23:47 - Mar 26 with 6340 viewsBoston

I ran out of toilet paper and 'ad to use an old newspaper...Christ the Times are rough.
[Post edited 26 Mar 2020 23:47]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 23:48 - Mar 26 with 6334 viewsFredManRave

Corny Joke Warning on 23:47 - Mar 26 by Boston

I ran out of toilet paper and 'ad to use an old newspaper...Christ the Times are rough.
[Post edited 26 Mar 2020 23:47]


Good job you didn't use the mirror...

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 23:50 - Mar 26 with 6330 viewsBoston

What 's a group of Corona Viruses called?

A Pundemic.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 23:52 - Mar 26 with 6327 viewsBoston

Back in the day you'd cough to cover up a fart.

Now you fart to cover up a cough.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 23:54 - Mar 26 with 6321 viewsBoston

Bloody Germans have gone mad buying up all the sausages and cheese.

They fear the wurst kase scenario.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 23:56 - Mar 26 with 6318 viewsBoston

They called off the Olympics when Finland closed its borders.

No one could cross the finnish line.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 14:11 - Mar 28 with 6207 viewsjohncharles

A man was washing his car with his son and the boy said Dad, why don’t you use a sponge ?

Strong and stable my arse.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 17:32 - Mar 28 with 6137 viewsDavieQPR

Corny Joke Warning on 23:47 - Mar 26 by Boston

I ran out of toilet paper and 'ad to use an old newspaper...Christ the Times are rough.
[Post edited 26 Mar 2020 23:47]


Careful or you will be accused of being behind the Times.
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:35 - Mar 28 with 6133 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 17:32 - Mar 28 by DavieQPR

Careful or you will be accused of being behind the Times.


That's my usual standard.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 17:39 - Mar 28 with 6131 viewsdistortR

Corny Joke Warning on 14:11 - Mar 28 by johncharles

A man was washing his car with his son and the boy said Dad, why don’t you use a sponge ?


me and my son were playing football with the dog, which some may think cruel.
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