| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? 09:00 - Jul 7 with 9853 views | Konk |
People keep asking me if my son is a Fulham fan — he’s coming up to his second birthday, and so far, I haven’t bought him anything Fulham or football related. The official line is that (a) he might not be into football and (b) it’s up to him who he supports. However, one of my brothers and his kids keep bringing stuff round for him from the Spurs club shop after home games, and he’s now accumulated half the kids collection, and I have the uncomfortable situation of kicking a Tottenham ball round with my son when we’re in various London parks. I would stick it all in the charity shop, but the crafty bas tard knows that I can’t do that as his kids have usually chipped in their own pocket money to ensure their cousin ends up down the Lane.
We’re leaving London and moving to Bristol next Summer, so that creates another dilemma.
Fulham: I’d love for him to support Fulham and for us to share that, but realistically, I might only get to 8-10 games a season tops, and until he was 16+, he’d always need me to be going to a game, in order for him to get to the game. And midweek games wouldn’t be doable.
Local team: We’re probably going to be moving within a mile or two of Ashton Gate, so a big part of me thinks he might be better off supporting his local club. He’ll feel more a part of it, we’d get to more games, he’ll have mates who support the same club, midweekers will be doable and he won’t have to rely on me going to games with him once he’s in his teens. I’m not from West London or a Fulham family, so whilst I love Fulham FC, I think I've missed out as I have no real affinity or affection for the area other than the Cottage, a couple of pubs and the walk down along the river from Hammersmith.
Another: He’s got a list of clubs that he can’t support — Chelsea, Man United, Man City, Liverpool, Arsenal and Gillingham — but other than that, I don’t really have a problem with him supporting any other clubs.
So, for people who’ve found themselves in the same boat, how did things pan out and do you think you did the right thing?! I had mates at school who supported random clubs from around the country because of their families, and I always thought that was brilliant, but did they miss out by only getting to see their team a handful of times a season?
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:06 - Jul 7 with 4864 views | loftboy |
All my kids are qpr, told them.if they support anyone else.they wont get to any games, your situation is a bit different though, as he gets older and makes.teenage friends he will probably just end up at Ashton gate anyhow. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:12 - Jul 7 with 4842 views | Konk |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:06 - Jul 7 by loftboy |
All my kids are qpr, told them.if they support anyone else.they wont get to any games, your situation is a bit different though, as he gets older and makes.teenage friends he will probably just end up at Ashton gate anyhow. |
If we were staying in London, I’d be doing everything I could to get him down to Fulham regularly, but I’m also a big advocate of supporting a local team, and seeing as he’ll be growing-up in South Bristol…this is causing me a lot of anguish! We'd always have Hibs for a bit of a detached, shared father and son club. Of course, he might not like football.
PS. My natural inclination would be to take him to watch Rovers, as the smaller of the two clubs, but with them being on the opposite side of the city, they wouldn't be local-local. And whilst I prefer Rovers as a club, I really hate their Pantomime Captain Hook badge. What with our sh it badge and their shi t badge, I'm not sure I cope with so many sh it badges in my life. [Post edited 7 Jul 2016 9:16]
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:14 - Jul 7 with 4831 views | simmo |
Had a similar situation with my son, albeit made more complicated as I am no longer with his mother and she lives with her new husband. It makes it worse that the step-dad is Chelsea but thankfully he's pretty respectful and not really into football anyway, so never put much encouragement into my boy liking them
I left him to it with football, took him to a QPR game when he was about 5 just cos it's a bit of a dads rite of passage, but not really again until he was 8 and started paying attention to football more, mostly via playing Fifa and then expressing a desire to go to another game.
I simply told him the rules, a general set of supporting instructions to guide any football fan.
1) You support your local team. His was Forest Green at the time as they lived in Gloucester. This I said, is fine and would get my full support.
2) The team of your father - QPR. This I said, is fine and would get my full support.
3) The team of your mother, as he lives with her full time, etc it should work the same as if he followed me - in this case Aston Villa. This I said is fine and would get my full support.
I then explained that he wasn't allowed to support Chelsea, as not only are they the team I wouldn't acknowledge or support his decision with at all, but also that they were just not a very nice club. Not family oriented, with troublesome supporters and a lot of their fans are not people that have much in common with us or his family.
Other than that I drummed into him that supporting a team was his choice in the end but all 'real' football fans know that choosing a team has absolutely nothing to do with winning things, only about trying your best and being loyal. So supporting a team because they are successful is not the right way to choose.
He's now QPR. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:20 - Jul 7 with 4805 views | hopphoops |
Is it too late to change your plans to north Brizzle? Better to end up at the Gas than City either way. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:24 - Jul 7 with 4792 views | Northernr |
Short answer, leave him to find his own way with the obvious caveat that if he picks Chelsea or Man Utd he'll have one week to vacate the house and start foraging for food by himself.
My dad was as QPR obsessed as they come, travelled to every match from Grimsby when we were kids including the 5-5 game with Newcastle on the day I came out of the hospital as a new born meaning my mum had to bring me home in a taxi. But there was a rule that he wasn't allowed to mention QPR to me at all until I mentioned it to him, big risk considering all the kids at school supported Man Utd and Liverpool.
Anywaywhen I was about 7 or 8 and wanted to know where he went every weekend, wanted to have a football team so I could fit in at school and wanted to go and hang around with my dad and the grown ups and talk about football so I asked him if I could come and got whisked off to Southampton A in the FA Cup 3rd Round (lost 2-0, Clive Wilson missed a penalty) in 1992. Barely missed a game since. |  | | |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:25 - Jul 7 with 4791 views | davman |
Like loftboy, my one never really had a choice - if he wanted to see games until he was 18, he'd be QPR and come with me.
Luckily, he has taken to us like a duck to water - he realises that we are sh1te (most of the time) and has exactly the right temperament - we lose, it's disappointing for about 10 minutes, then life, which is much, much more than QPR goes on.
He's 10 now and loves his Daddy and Aaron days out at the football more than anything - we get the train up, which is a rare treat, we play games on the train, we get to Shepherd's Bush and go on the green for a kick about, then to the Fan Zone and then walk up to the Stadium. Then it's watch the game, visit the club shop, pop into Nando's and then a train ride home - all good fun.
...and from my point of view, it really is the best; it's me and my boy time; he's chilled, I'm chilled, all is good.
His mates are all Premier League and some of them laugh at lil' ol' QPR, but then Aaron comes back with the best retort given over the years: "When was the last game you went to"?
We make it to 10-15 games a season and its still a joyous experience.
So my advice is to encourage him to support Fulham. There's nothing stopping you both popping to Ashton Gate once in a while (after all, we do that with Basingstoke - what's the difference?) and, having lived in Bristol myself for four years, I know that you are going to have to choose red or blue (I was a Gashead in honour of Queens Park Rovers when we kept swapping Olly and Gerry for a few years...).
Although its a few years away yet, I reckon that when Aaron leaves home (sad day!), we'll still get to LR for a few games; who knows, we may turn out like Stevenage and Chris (although maybe not EXACTLY like them(!)) and both be season ticket holders.
Common interests with your kids are not to be sniffed at...
Good Luck and remember, he'll always be welcome here as long as he chooses good cheese... |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:29 - Jul 7 with 4772 views | simmo |
His mates are all Premier League and some of them laugh at lil' ol' QPR, but then Aaron comes back with the best retort given over the years: "When was the last game you went to"?
Exactly what I told my boy to say. :-D | |
| ask Beavis I get nothing Butthead |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:39 - Jul 7 with 4748 views | danehoop |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:29 - Jul 7 by simmo |
His mates are all Premier League and some of them laugh at lil' ol' QPR, but then Aaron comes back with the best retort given over the years: "When was the last game you went to"?
Exactly what I told my boy to say. :-D |
You've seen my previous posts on taking Danehoop Junior to QPR. He doesnt (yet) really follow football too much, but having been with me twice he:
a. wants to go again (if nothing else just for dad bonding time)
b. knows that Chelsea are scum irrespective of anything else.
c. Is aware that he has already been to more games than any of the plastic premier fans at school.
He may never truly pick up the bug fully, but already has an affection for QPR and if asked, he replies that is the team he follows. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:46 - Jul 7 with 4727 views | Konk |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:20 - Jul 7 by hopphoops |
Is it too late to change your plans to north Brizzle? Better to end up at the Gas than City either way. |
South Bristol for house prices and also, my wife's job is moving to near Wells, so being south of the centre, should make a fair difference to her daily commute (not quite sure what I'm going to be doing yet...)
From earlier edit: "My natural inclination would be to take him to watch Rovers, as the smaller of the two clubs, but with them being on the opposite side of the city, they wouldn't be local-local. And whilst I prefer Rovers as a club, I really hate their Pantomime Captain Hook badge. What with our sh it badge and their shi t badge, I'm not sure I cope with so many sh it badges in my life. | |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:50 - Jul 7 with 4713 views | NoDiddley |
Never pin a shirt on a kid.
My dad is a gooner & my brother a spud.
Strange family |  | | |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:59 - Jul 7 with 4688 views | Dorse |
Mini Dorse has been raised to believe:
i) His middle names are Les and Ferdinand (they aren't)
ii) Chelsea are a bunch of fuktards (they are)
I bought him a junior kit when he went to school and he wore it until it fell apart. He loves being the only R in the School.
His first game was the preseason match at Aldershot and he loved it (especially the JET goal in the first half). I don't regret introducing him to the Rs - we live miles away from any half decent teams (Yeovil or Bournemouth being the closest) so he has no real local connections to explore. May as well be the Rs, in that case. At least it means he feels a connection with his emotionally crippled Old Man.
Having lived in the South West for too many bloody years, City has always been a team that has had a nasty youth element. If he's going to City, keep an eye on who he hangs around with. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:07 - Jul 7 with 4669 views | Gloucs_R |
My 6 year old was introduced to Rangers from birth, you have to when you support a smaller club.
My 3 year old keeps telling me he likes Chelsea as he has seen them on the TV, much to the amusement of my wife. I have my work cut out with him.
Both will go and watch Gloucester City when they are older, nothing wrong with supporting a local team. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:14 - Jul 7 with 4649 views | fournil |
I moved to Leeds in 2003, had to give up my session ticket in 2005 as the journey was too much. My oldest son was born in 2007 and is now 9 years old. He is QPR despite all his friends supporting Leeds or glory hunting Premiershite.
He's not afraid to wear his Rangers top at football training, and we get to a handful of matches every season - am hoping more away games this season as there are so many nearby.
I guess you could say that I forced him to be a Rangers fan but it wasn't intentional. He just saw me engaging with my football team and wanted to be a part of it. I took him to his first game when he was 6, QPR - Reading in the Premiership. He loved Cisse because he had blue and white hair, I still loved Taraabt even though he missed a sitter to win the match.
My youngest son (6 years old) is looking forward to being able to come with his big brother and Daddy to watch the football now. He loves QPR too. I think it helps when you have somebody like Charlie Austin however as they were both able to identify an icon associated with their team that other people knew. I suspect it will be harder when there isn't a stand-out player that doesn't have wider recognition as they can get embarrassed if for instance they are in the playground and shout "I'll be Sebastien Polter"!!
Ultimately Konk - if you show passion and commitment to your team your son will inevitably want to be like his Dad.
Good luck. |  | | |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:16 - Jul 7 with 4638 views | Konk |
Cheers for your responses folks.
If we were moving to the middle of nowhere, I’d steer him towards Fulham, without question, but moving to somewhere within walking distance of a league club changes things for me. I think I’ll just have to be patient and see which way he gravitates. One of my brothers lives in rural Oxfordshire, and that’s the approach he’s taken, with the result that his 9 year old is possibly the only kid in the world who owns both a Swindon and Oxford kit.
Basically, I'm itching to get him some Fulham stuff, but for his sake, I don't want 8,000 pictures of him kitted out in Fulham gear as a kid, if he ends up supporting Bristol City (or Rovers if he's a contrary bugger). I'm rubbish at patience. [Post edited 7 Jul 2016 10:20]
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:19 - Jul 7 with 4621 views | LongsufferingR |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:59 - Jul 7 by Dorse |
Mini Dorse has been raised to believe:
i) His middle names are Les and Ferdinand (they aren't)
ii) Chelsea are a bunch of fuktards (they are)
I bought him a junior kit when he went to school and he wore it until it fell apart. He loves being the only R in the School.
His first game was the preseason match at Aldershot and he loved it (especially the JET goal in the first half). I don't regret introducing him to the Rs - we live miles away from any half decent teams (Yeovil or Bournemouth being the closest) so he has no real local connections to explore. May as well be the Rs, in that case. At least it means he feels a connection with his emotionally crippled Old Man.
Having lived in the South West for too many bloody years, City has always been a team that has had a nasty youth element. If he's going to City, keep an eye on who he hangs around with. |
That's a very good point Dorse about your boy loving being the only R in school, as that was exactly the way I felt at school. My little boy is 5, so couldn't possibly concentrate on a whole game of football yet, but his first shirt is on order, and he knows that Chelsea is a wrong move, even though we're surrounded by that sort of nonsense out in Surrey.
Konk, even if it's more difficult to get over to Rovers when you move, they would certainly be my choice of the pair of Bristols, and it sort of follows on from Dorse's point that it can sometimes be a lot better to feel a real part of something smaller than just another Manchester United clone who doesn't even know what the inside of OT looks like. |  | | |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:19 - Jul 7 with 4621 views | stevec |
Reckon Davman summed it up perfectly.
But it's a tough one, especially as your son will only be 3 time you move to Bristol, maybe you'll get into one of the Bristol clubs enough that you both supporting the club will be a natural progression.
Have to say, there is a special bond about father and son supporting the same team, been fortunate enough that from my grandad to my son we've followed QPR for what must be 100 years now.
Is there any scope for the wife moving down to Bristol and you and your son staying in London? Problem sorted. |  | | |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:20 - Jul 7 with 4616 views | Gloucs_R |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:16 - Jul 7 by Konk |
Cheers for your responses folks.
If we were moving to the middle of nowhere, I’d steer him towards Fulham, without question, but moving to somewhere within walking distance of a league club changes things for me. I think I’ll just have to be patient and see which way he gravitates. One of my brothers lives in rural Oxfordshire, and that’s the approach he’s taken, with the result that his 9 year old is possibly the only kid in the world who owns both a Swindon and Oxford kit.
Basically, I'm itching to get him some Fulham stuff, but for his sake, I don't want 8,000 pictures of him kitted out in Fulham gear as a kid, if he ends up supporting Bristol City (or Rovers if he's a contrary bugger). I'm rubbish at patience. [Post edited 7 Jul 2016 10:20]
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and what if he chooses Chelsea or Man Utd?   | |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:22 - Jul 7 with 4601 views | A40Bosh |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:16 - Jul 7 by Konk |
Cheers for your responses folks.
If we were moving to the middle of nowhere, I’d steer him towards Fulham, without question, but moving to somewhere within walking distance of a league club changes things for me. I think I’ll just have to be patient and see which way he gravitates. One of my brothers lives in rural Oxfordshire, and that’s the approach he’s taken, with the result that his 9 year old is possibly the only kid in the world who owns both a Swindon and Oxford kit.
Basically, I'm itching to get him some Fulham stuff, but for his sake, I don't want 8,000 pictures of him kitted out in Fulham gear as a kid, if he ends up supporting Bristol City (or Rovers if he's a contrary bugger). I'm rubbish at patience. [Post edited 7 Jul 2016 10:20]
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Konk,
I trust that you have not discussed this matter with our mutual friend!
Can I suggest perhaps you don't, as your liberal approach to next generation support may lead to some tough words!
And we wouldn't want that!!! |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:31 - Jul 7 with 4581 views | Konk |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:22 - Jul 7 by A40Bosh |
Konk,
I trust that you have not discussed this matter with our mutual friend!
Can I suggest perhaps you don't, as your liberal approach to next generation support may lead to some tough words!
And we wouldn't want that!!! |
I know! I feel it's my duty to ensure that there's another generation of the Konks down at the Cottage, but at the same time, is that right for my son if we live a couple of hours away? It's tough being a Dad, eh!
Gloucs - no chance of Man Utd, Chelsea etc. I'm determined not to let that happen - Fulham, local side or no side! | |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:34 - Jul 7 with 4579 views | DylanP |
So, I don't know if my situation is comparable but I live in the states. When we are in the championships the games are hardly ever on TV, but when they are they are usually early Saturday morning on some premium channel that I don't have, so we would go down the pub to watch the games. At first my son loved coming with me just for the ritual of it all -- getting up early, having breakfast at the pub, watching football with Dad, playing the occassional round of darts, and so on. Plus, I think kids feed off the passion. If you are passionate about something, they wanna feel that passion too. But as a result he ended up a QPR fan. I love having that bond with him. He has watched enough ridiculous losses to know that QPR will only break his heart, but he has watched enough sensational wins (play off finals, Tarabt-inspired promotion season, etc.) that he will always bleed blue and white. He has only been to a handful of games live, but he huddles around the computer most Saturdays during football season listening to the commentary from QPR-player. It is something we will always have together -- what an idiot the manager is/was, what a legend Charlie is/was, what a joy to watch/ultimate disappointment Tarabt is/was, etc. He even saved up his pocket money and bought me a Stan Bowles signed photo for my birthday one year. Yeah, let your son see your passion and let him in on the secret of being a fan and you'll have a lot of fun memories. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:36 - Jul 7 with 4573 views | PunteR |
Make sure he grows up supporting Fulham konk. You both wont regret it. Well sometimes you will, but you'll also have moments that will stay with you both and that is priceless.
I had the same with my oldest lad. I used to buy him QPR stuff and took him to his first game against Preston when he was 7 or 8(he's 15 now) All his mates supported the usual teams at school and to be honest I don't think he liked QPR for a while, that is until we got promoted in 10/11 season. Our Wembley win was the clincher though, he loves Rangers now.
I moved out of London 15 years ago and only go to a handful of games but now my boy wants to go more it gives me a good excuse to tell my missus.
Our local team is Reading. Enough said. I'd rather take him to see Bracknell Town FC. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:43 - Jul 7 with 4545 views | johncharles |
My son was born at Queen Charlotte's. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:50 - Jul 7 with 4523 views | CamberleyR |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 09:24 - Jul 7 by Northernr |
Short answer, leave him to find his own way with the obvious caveat that if he picks Chelsea or Man Utd he'll have one week to vacate the house and start foraging for food by himself.
My dad was as QPR obsessed as they come, travelled to every match from Grimsby when we were kids including the 5-5 game with Newcastle on the day I came out of the hospital as a new born meaning my mum had to bring me home in a taxi. But there was a rule that he wasn't allowed to mention QPR to me at all until I mentioned it to him, big risk considering all the kids at school supported Man Utd and Liverpool.
Anywaywhen I was about 7 or 8 and wanted to know where he went every weekend, wanted to have a football team so I could fit in at school and wanted to go and hang around with my dad and the grown ups and talk about football so I asked him if I could come and got whisked off to Southampton A in the FA Cup 3rd Round (lost 2-0, Clive Wilson missed a penalty) in 1992. Barely missed a game since. |
"got whisked off to Southampton A in the FA Cup 3rd Round (lost 2-0, Clive Wilson missed a penalty) in 1992"
Bad timimg. The "after the Lord Mayor's show" game. |  |
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:51 - Jul 7 with 4522 views | DannytheR |
My eldest started playing Saturday morning kids football in the season we went down under Hughes and Redknapp. Every Saturday I took him up the road in his QPR shirt, where because of where we live he'd spend the next hour and a half surrounded by little shts in miniature full Chelsea kits. You can imagine the rest.
I would then take him to HQ in the afternoon to have to watch us, in the season we went down under Hughes and Redknapp.
At ten he still sees himself as an R, but as far as I'm concerned he's now more than earned the right to go elsewhere later in life.
But it won't be Chelsea, as he now hates them with a vengeance, which makes me think I might have been a half-decent father after all. [Post edited 7 Jul 2016 10:58]
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| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:58 - Jul 7 with 4501 views | Dorse |
| Should I steer my son towards Fulham or let him find his own club? on 10:16 - Jul 7 by Konk |
Cheers for your responses folks.
If we were moving to the middle of nowhere, I’d steer him towards Fulham, without question, but moving to somewhere within walking distance of a league club changes things for me. I think I’ll just have to be patient and see which way he gravitates. One of my brothers lives in rural Oxfordshire, and that’s the approach he’s taken, with the result that his 9 year old is possibly the only kid in the world who owns both a Swindon and Oxford kit.
Basically, I'm itching to get him some Fulham stuff, but for his sake, I don't want 8,000 pictures of him kitted out in Fulham gear as a kid, if he ends up supporting Bristol City (or Rovers if he's a contrary bugger). I'm rubbish at patience. [Post edited 7 Jul 2016 10:20]
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A Swindon and an Oxford kit? Oy vey. That is tantamount to self-harm. | |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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