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Favourite Wind Ups 22:11 - Aug 28 with 2464 viewsDorse

My missus is not thick. However, when I told her that the music from the game Tetris was the Russian National Anthem...?

Oy vey.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Favourite Wind Ups on 22:30 - Aug 28 with 2390 viewsjohncharles

A friend of mine persuaded his niece that the clock in the front room was Bo Diddlly.

Strong and stable my arse.

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Favourite Wind Ups on 22:42 - Aug 28 with 2340 viewsTheBlob

Once persuaded someone in the pub that the best chat up line was
....."Do you know the difference between a penis and a leg of chicken?"

("No")


"Want to come on a picnic?"

Poll: So how was the season for you?

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Favourite Wind Ups on 23:17 - Aug 28 with 2265 viewskropotkin41

Convinced my oldest son when he was little that magpies were penguins. Also when he said he didn't like courgettes, for a long time we only ever ate zuchinis!

‘morbid curiosity about where this is all going’

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Favourite Wind Ups on 00:43 - Aug 29 with 2169 viewsPunteR

Its not my favorite but i told my missus that it's Ian Wright in bugsy malone as the little kid that does the sweeping up and plays the piano.

Occasional providers of half decent House music.

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Favourite Wind Ups on 07:30 - Aug 29 with 2066 viewsDWQPR

Had my car collected for a service the other week and the middle aged chap who picked it up asked whether there was anything else that I wanted checked on it. I advised him that a warning message kept on coming up on the dashboard advising me that the 'vertical headlight adjustment control' wasn't working. 'Anything else?' He asked. 'Yes' I said, 'every 500 miles or so the bloody thing keeps running out of fuel!' Bloody idiot only wrote it down on his worksheet before leaving with the keys in hand!

Poll: Where will Clive put QPR in his new season preview

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Favourite Wind Ups on 08:09 - Aug 29 with 2014 viewsheadhoops

I convinced my wife the film the Abyss was filmed in John Travoltas swimming pool she reeled it out for weeks before I confessed

Poll: Remy - can he play in the playoffs - who's opening post is the best?

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Favourite Wind Ups on 08:13 - Aug 29 with 2004 viewsRickyDicky

Did you know the word "gullible" is not in the English dictionary ?

Poll: Where will we finish next Year. Starting early.

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Favourite Wind Ups on 08:52 - Aug 29 with 1958 viewsShotKneesHoop

Favourite Wind Ups on 00:43 - Aug 29 by PunteR

Its not my favorite but i told my missus that it's Ian Wright in bugsy malone as the little kid that does the sweeping up and plays the piano.


That was SWP - and it's totally believable and shows the only job he is good at.

Why does it feel like R'SWiPe is still on the books? Yer Couldn't Make It Up.Well Done Me!

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Favourite Wind Ups on 09:20 - Aug 29 with 1906 viewskingsburyR

Told my wife (then girl friend) when we landed in Dublin to change her watch by an hour.

She spent the rest of the day an hour behind real time!

Dont know why we bother. .... but we do!

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Favourite Wind Ups on 09:50 - Aug 29 with 1862 viewsisawqpratwcity

Favourite Wind Ups on 08:52 - Aug 29 by ShotKneesHoop

That was SWP - and it's totally believable and shows the only job he is good at.


I'm impressed. I thought after he went you wouldn't have anything to post.

Poll: Deaths of Thatcher and Mandela this year: Sad or Glad?

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Favourite Wind Ups on 12:58 - Aug 29 with 1719 viewscarlh5266

I told my wife that Chris Packham stole the xmas club money from his village community centre.
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Favourite Wind Ups on 13:26 - Aug 29 with 1669 viewsDrewster

Years ago when I worked in the maintenance dept in a factory I used to send the apprentices down to the stores for a 'long weight'. Store man was in on it as well so aged along. They got a bollocking when they came back empty handed for taking so long.

Also told my ex that the moon was the sun but at nighttime. She believed that for years!
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Favourite Wind Ups on 14:18 - Aug 29 with 1595 viewsfreddieeddie

Couple of weeks ago me and my brother got our boxing gloves out. Our mum really starts to panic thinking we were gonna go for it. She runs in the house calling our dad and my brothers wife. What no-one knew was I had taken the tomato ketchup in the garden, smoothered my face in it. So mum comes back out, sees my face, with me putting in oscar performance saying my nose is broken.

Classic wind up.

Poll: QPR future, what would you like to see happen

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