| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 796825 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:53 - Sep 16 with 9940 views | Esox_Lucius |
A Leeds fan walks past a shop & sees the video "Leeds - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop & asks how much." £100" says the shopkeeper. "That's a bit steep, how come its so dear?". "Well its a tenner for the video & £90 for the Betamax machine to play it on !!! |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:11 - Sep 16 with 9922 views | Esox_Lucius |
I asked my wife if she fancied trying something out from the Kama Sutra.
She said "No thanks, you know curry gives me bad guts". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:44 - Sep 16 with 9907 views | ade_qpr |
When it's stiff, stick it in
It goes in dry and comes out wet
The longer it's in, the stronger it gets
It comes out dripping and starts to sag
Please don't have your minds in the gutter
It's only a tea bag. |  |
| If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:51 - Sep 16 with 9850 views | Boston |
For our American fan base......
What do George Washington, Martin Luther King and Christopher Columbus have in common?
They were all born on holidays. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:54 - Sep 16 with 9848 views | Boston |
Did ya hear about the bald geezer who got a comb for a birthday present?
Said he'd never part with it. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:36 - Sep 17 with 9609 views | Esox_Lucius |
A waiter asks a diner what he would like to eat,
the man replies "I'd like the pissoles, chips and peas please"
The waiter says "Sir, it's an "R" not a "P"
The man replies, "That's fine, I'll have the arseholes, chips and peas please." | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:20 - Sep 17 with 9560 views | johncharles |
What’s pink and hard in the morning ?
Financial Times crossword. |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:29 - Sep 17 with 9512 views | hubble |
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue. I couldn't put it down. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:24 - Sep 17 with 9486 views | Dorse |
Stevie Wonder was given a cheese grater for his birthday. Says it is the best book he ever read. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:38 - Sep 17 with 9402 views | Esox_Lucius |
I'm gutted! I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, I phoned her up for a date only to find out that she had popped her clogs. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:04 - Sep 17 with 9386 views | derbyhoop |
Darth Vader goes into a boulangerie for 3 loaves of bread and 2 apple pies.
Pain, pain, pain, tarte tatin, tarte tatin
Do you have to know French to understand that? |  |
| "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain)
Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:25 - Sep 17 with 9368 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was attacked by a gang of mime artists last night.
They did unspeakable things to me! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:54 - Sep 17 with 9332 views | Trom |
My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and hoodies... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk" |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:08 - Sep 18 with 9244 views | loftboy |
Did you hear the joke about butter. I can’t tell you in case you spread it. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:26 - Sep 18 with 9130 views | Esox_Lucius |
Just got back from my mates funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:19 - Sep 18 with 9107 views | Lblock |
My ex girlfriend ran off with the TV aerial man
They got married
Terrible service but the reception was spot on |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:32 - Sep 18 with 9094 views | hopphoops |
Why is a sultan's wife called a sultana?
Stands to raisin, dunnit. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:22 - Sep 18 with 9031 views | Ashdown_Ranger |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:32 - Sep 18 by hopphoops |
Why is a sultan's wife called a sultana?
Stands to raisin, dunnit. |
That is currantly the worst joke on this thread. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:55 - Sep 18 with 9013 views | hopphoops |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:22 - Sep 18 by Ashdown_Ranger |
That is currantly the worst joke on this thread. |
you may fig so. It's not cut and dried, fruit. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:16 - Sep 18 with 9005 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:50 - Sep 15 by Dorse |
Why is there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because the parrots eat 'em all. |
Christ, it took me days to get that😀 | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:29 - Sep 18 with 8949 views | rrrspricey |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:16 - Sep 18 by Boston |
Christ, it took me days to get that😀 |
Oh dear.  |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:14 - Sep 19 with 8799 views | Esox_Lucius |
Scientists keep telling us that one day we could live on Mars.
I call BS, after I tried it for a month and I put on a stone and developed type 2 diabetes. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:53 - Sep 19 with 8780 views | ade_qpr |
Doctor was asked "whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?"
He said it was all in the taste. | |
| If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:27 - Sep 19 with 8718 views | Esox_Lucius |
What many don't know is that Noah built a second boat. It was twelve floors high and filled with Koi fish.
It was a multi storey carp ark. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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