| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 797463 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:26 - Aug 30 with 13671 views | dontknowitall |
Several All Blacks rugby players have had their laptops' security breached in New Zealand.
Computer experts say it was probably a haka |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:14 - Aug 30 with 13611 views | NW10Hoop |
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones
Trombones |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:10 - Aug 30 with 13541 views | A40Bosh |
I told the wife last night to quickly pack her bags as I had just won £5m on the lottery.
"Where are we off to? "she asked and I replied...
"Go where ever you like, but I'm buying your share of the house!" |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:10 - Aug 30 with 13542 views | timcocking |
Shocking. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:16 - Aug 30 with 13530 views | Dorse |
Albinos, eh? Can't say fairer than that. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:26 - Aug 30 with 13505 views | headhoops |
I met a new girlfriend who told me she had a weak heart.
I told her to lie on her side and I would miss it.
where do policemen live?
In Letsbe Avenue. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:46 - Aug 30 with 13462 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
Went to the boozer the other day and saw Vincent Van Gogh sat in the corner.
I shouted ‘Fancy a pint Vincent?’
He replies ‘No thanks mate, I’ve got one ear’ |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:50 - Aug 30 with 13458 views | R_from_afar |
How do you titillate an ocelot?
v
v
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v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
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You oscillate its t1t a lot.
RFA (desperately seeking his coat) |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:04 - Aug 30 with 13433 views | Boston |
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:19 - Aug 30 with 13411 views | FDC |
Working at the Job Centre has to be a tense job, knowing that if you get fired you still have to come in the next day
(c) Adam Rowe |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:18 - Aug 30 with 13351 views | Esox_Lucius |
I went to a party dressed as an oven. My mate came dressed as an oven too.
" I thought you were coming as a parrot" I said.
" No" he replied. " I said I was coming as a cooker too" [Post edited 30 Aug 2018 16:09]
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| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:19 - Aug 30 with 13348 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
Congratulations to Danny Welbeck’s Dad Stan for 30 years loyal service in the bomb disposal squad. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:42 - Aug 30 with 13261 views | Ashdown_Ranger |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:18 - Aug 30 by Esox_Lucius |
I went to a party dressed as an oven. My mate came dressed as an oven too.
" I thought you were coming as a parrot" I said.
" No" he replied. " I said I was coming as a cooker too" [Post edited 30 Aug 2018 16:09]
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Another parrot related joke (which works better spoken)...
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Two flat-sharing girls recovering after a wild party the night before.
1st girl: "Streuth, my mouth feels like the bottom of a parrot's cage!"
2nd girl: "I'm not surprised, you had a cockatoo in there last night!" |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:30 - Aug 30 with 13107 views | OldPedro |
My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face...
Just found out my uncle has left me a stately home in his will. I have no idea where Sod Hall is, I'm just off to Google it now! |  |
| Extra mature cheddar......a simple cheese for a simple man |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:58 - Aug 30 with 13065 views | Esox_Lucius |
I walked past our local cemetery before work today and I saw someone I knew standing behind one of the headstones. "Morning" I shouted. "Nah, just having a sly piss" came the reply. [Post edited 31 Aug 2018 10:13]
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| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:06 - Aug 30 with 13047 views | 2Thomas2Bowles |
Husband to wife
Fancy a shag
Wife, No I am seeing the gynecologist in the morning and I want to be fresh
Husband, You won't be seeing the dentist then  |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:11 - Aug 30 with 13050 views | TW_R |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:06 - Aug 30 by 2Thomas2Bowles |
Husband to wife
Fancy a shag
Wife, No I am seeing the gynecologist in the morning and I want to be fresh
Husband, You won't be seeing the dentist then |
I bought some dehydrated water, but i dont know what to add. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:17 - Aug 30 with 13040 views | Boston |
What do you call bears with no ears?
B. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:18 - Aug 30 with 13037 views | northampton_hoop |
Two birds sat on a perch, one says to the other “can you smell fish?” |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:43 - Aug 30 with 13005 views | 2Thomas2Bowles |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:18 - Aug 30 by northampton_hoop |
Two birds sat on a perch, one says to the other “can you smell fish?” |
I went to Anfield the other day to watch a match. A scouse lad said, 'Can I mind your car for you mister?' I said, 'No! And for your information, there's a Rottweiler in the back.'
The lad said: 'Can he put out fires ? | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:56 - Aug 30 with 12989 views | Dorse |
What is the difference between a catfish and a Chelsea fan?
One is a scum-sucking bottom-dweller and the other is a catfish. [Post edited 30 Aug 2018 22:57]
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| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:56 - Aug 30 with 12983 views | 2Thomas2Bowles |
I crashed into the back of a car today a dwarf got out and said "I'm not happy" - so I said "which one are you then?" | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:21 - Aug 30 with 12955 views | 2Thomas2Bowles |
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:36 - Aug 30 with 12950 views | northampton_hoop |
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.
A man with a bit of wood on his head? Edwood.
A man stood between two houses? Ally
A man with no shin bones? Tony.
A women with one leg longer than the other? Ilean. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 08:51 - Aug 31 with 12805 views | Mick_S |
I saw a pair of knickers today - on the front it said, 'I would do anything for love' and on the back it said 'but I won't do that'" - Sarah Millican.
Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes [Post edited 31 Aug 2018 8:53]
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| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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