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Fulham supporters went berserk in a branch of Mcdonalds after their game against local rivals and known superior outfit Queens Park Rangers yesterday after gifting West London's only club 4 points this season. Around 60 young men stormed into the fast food restaurant on Uxbridge Road and caused utter chaos. Mcdonalds worker Nigel Lettuce said "One lad in pink trousers and suede brogues started on a mikshake. I saw it with my own eyes. He went up to the milkshake and said "What the devil are you looking at you pleb?" and then windmilled at it for 5 minutes" Tomato sauce was smeared on the windows, trays were launced like frisbees and one yob urinated in the till as Fulham fans sung their anthem that nobody can remember. Mal Pacino from the Metropolitan Police said "As usual, the Fulham fans were hell bent on spoiling the day for everybody. They have smashed Mcdonalds up and they have also caused £2000 worth of improvements to the soft furnishings in Costa Coffee" One man passing with his young family was left traumatised as 4 floppy haired maniacs verbally attacked them with chants of "who the blinking flip are you" and "you're going home in a shabby uber cab". "It was awful" he said "one of them even went so far as to remark on the cut of my jacket, the beast". A near record 257 Fulham fans made the short journey to Loftus Road and police say they arrested all of them for offences ranging from public indecency and interfering with horses through to pelting passersby with half eaten quinoa and feta melts. One young Fulham fan told reporters "I'm from Shepherds Bush but I support Fulham. Ha ha. I'm gonna punch my own head in. Ha ha" The majority of the arrested will be released on bail later today when Police work out who is who as the majority appear to be called Tarquin, Rupert and Jacko.
"Having been with QPR for 10 years, I can only go one way with this one! Charlie Austin will be gone by the end of the window, I'm sure of it, but they've made some decent signings, I like what my old mate Les Ferdinand is doing down there and I'd love Chris Ramsay to do well having been given the job full-time. It's a London derby - but I'm backing QPR to run out convincing winners. OLLIE PREDICTS: 1-3"
There's enough bad news around at the moment, so it's great to hear something wonderful. On Radio 5 Live I heard that Wilko Johnson's been cured of cancer. A tumour the size of a BABY was cut out of his pancreas in pioneering treatment and now he is cured and going back on the road. Incredible news.
From a post on Independent Rs. Any corrections welcomed.
GOALKEEPERS
Robert GREEN June 14 Brian MURPHY June 15
DEFENDERS
Coll DONALDSON June 16 Richard DUNNE June 15 Max EHMER Clint HILL June 15 Aaron HUGHES June 14 Nedum ONUOHA June 16 Danny SIMPSON June 16 Yun SUK-YOUNG June 16 Armand TRAORE June 14 Luke YOUNG June 14
MIDFIELDERS
Joey BARTON June 15 Hogan EPHRAIM June 14 Alejandro FAURLIN June 14 Karl HENRY June 15 Junior HOILETT June 16 Jermaine JENAS June 14 Gary O'NEIL June 14 Michael PETRASSO June 17 Matt PHILLIPS June 17 Frankie SUTHERLAND June 15 Shaun WRIGHT-PHILLIPS June 15
STRIKERS
Charlie AUSTIN June 16 Andy JOHNSON June 14 Bobby ZAMORA June 14
Loans out
Julio CESAR June 16 Samba DIAKITE June 16 Esteban GRANERO June 16 Michael HARRIMAN June 15 Stephane MBIA June 14 Loic REMY June 17 Adel TAARABT June 16
He's a massively better manager now than he was when he managed England, was always a great coach but now a good manager too. Learned a lot from his time in Europe. I'd love him as permanent QPR boss when/if Harry knocks it on the head, reminds me very much of Sexton in his approach.
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