x

The Draw For The Southampton Team To Face Liverpool Will Be At 1.30pm On Saturday

Most Southampton supporters have been baffled by both Russell Martin's & now Ivan Juric's team selections and the positions that he has played players in, but we at The Ugly Inside have now discovered the secret behind the team selection.

There has been no logical reason for Southampton line up's this season, especially in recent weeks, now we can reveal the technology that is behind how the players that play in the Southampton team are selected.

It is a system that we are all familiar with and it has been borrowed by the FA who used the system earlier this week when they made the draw for the FA Cup quarter finals.

At 1.30pm on Saturday, 15 minutes before the team line ups have to be exchanged, Ivan Juric will go into a small office with two of his coaching staff and an independent adjudicator.

The goalkeeping selection will have already have been put on the team sheet and then 10 white balls familiar to most football fans will be tipped into the clear plastic bowl by Ivan Juric.

He will announce that the first ball will be drawn by Simon Rusk and the second ball by Mateo Paro and that process will continue.

All will wait in anticipation, the independent adjudicator will check that all balls have been entered into the bowl and then will announce that the draw can commence.

Simon Rusk will then rustle his hand into the bowl and pull out a ball, holding the number up saying "Number 19" the adjudicator will say "Cameron Archer" and Ivan Juric will say "Will play central defender" this will be repeated, "Number 7 Joe Aribo will play Central Defender and then possibly "Number 32 Paul Onuachu will play Right back" " Number 33 Tyler Dibling will play centre forward.

Then it will be "Number 11 Ross Stewart will play central midfield" there will be a silence, Juric will say "Who's Ross Stewart" and someone will go to search if he is actually on the coach, before Simon Rusk will remember he has been injured since August 2023 and is on holiday with Juan Larios.

That will render the process void and the whole shebang will be repeated.

When the starting line up has been picked, it will then go to the substitutes, these will be picked in the order that they will be utilised, ie first out of the hat means first change on the field, this answers the question of why Big Les Ugochukwu man of the match at Manchester United was taken off with us leading 1-0 with 10 minutes to go, he was just unlucky in the draw, this will be followed by the draw for who will be taken off first.

When all that has been done, Ivan Juric will go and exchange the team sheet, Arne Slot will look bemused, all his plans to subdue Matteus Fernandes are now out of the window because Fernandes is now playing right back and likewise his plans for Mo Salah to exploit the lack of pace of Jan Bednarek have also been thwarted with the Pole now being employed on the left wing.

Of course I am just adding some humour to the situation, but am I ? Can anyone else think of a more logical reason for our recent team selections and tactics, personally I can't and so this is just as plausible process behind our team selections and substitutions than anything else I can think off.

What to read next:

Colchester United 1 - 2 Stockport County - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Stockport County 1 - 0 Rochdale - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Colchester United 0 - 1 Stockport County - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Rochdale 1 - 2 Stockport County - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Stockport County 1 - 0 Colchester United - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Rochdale 1 - 2 Stockport County - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Millers match on Boxing Day called off
County's home game against Rotherham United on Boxing Day has fallen victim to the harsh cold weather the whole of the UK has been encountering, as an inspection by a local based referee deemed that the surface will be unplayable.
Inspection set for Thursday afternoon
There may be doubts about whether County’s match at home against Rotherham United on Boxing Day will take place, as the club have asked for a pitch inspection to take place. Despite the game taking place on Sunday, an inspection will be carried out on Thursday afternoon.
Big bad Baz leaves Hatters by mutual consent
Scoring sensation Barry Conlon won’t be banging them in for the Hatters in the future as he has had his County contract cancelled by mutual consent. The 32-year-old will now be able enjoy the festive period without having to worry about keeping in good shape as a professional footballer.
County's game at Cheltenham is OFF
County's game away at Cheltenham Town has been postponed due to to a frozen pitch. Snow and freezing temperatures have returned to England over the last 48 hours and our game at Whaddon Road has become a victim of the latest wintry weather.