x

Saints Braced To Lose Yet Another Star To Liverpool !

After the news that Virgil Van Dijk will be joining Liverpool in January, Saints fans will be shocked to learn that another Saints stalwart has also been in secret talks to make the move to Merseyside.

Saints fans were today shocked to learn that Saints fanzine Editor Nick Illingsworth is on the verge of completing a move to Liverpool fans website Empire Of The Kop, only 29 years into a 30 year contract to produce the Ugly Inside.

Interviewed by Radio Solent only weeks ago, Illingsworth had reiterated his commitment to Southampton Football Club and spoken of his desire to take The Ugly Inside forward in its 30th anniversary season.

Yet it seems that all along he had been in secret negotiations with Empire Of The Kop to join them in the January transfer window for fans social media outlets.

Some close to the website say things changed about a year ago when Illingsworth was persuaded to change agents, ditching his long term one and signing to a high flying agency, after that clues as to where his ambitions lay came in his work on the website, suddenly typing errors and poor punctuation were eradicated from his game and references to Barcelona and the Champions League started to appear, also he started to refer to everyone as La.

Whispers that Empire Of The Kop were courting him were rife in the football social media World, Claude and Ty on Arsenalfanstv let slip that they had heard it was a done deal whilst pausing for expletives after their draw at St Mary's recently.

Likewise the Merseyside Media Mafia were urging him to make the move, both Jamie Carragher and Steven Gerrard commented that " He has earned the right to spout utter bollocks at the highest level, if he doesnt make the move it shows a distinct lack of ambition."

Intitially Illingsworth denied the rumours and again reiterated that he was contracted to TUI till May 2018 and he intended to honour that contract unless told otherwise, saying

" I remain committed to TUI till May 2018 and he intended to honour that contract unless told otherwise"

But then rumour took a rather sinister turn, on December 28th a full 4 days before the transfer window opens, speaking to a Liverpool fan on social media about Van Dijk's injury, he said.

"It's his ankle that is dodgy, I am available at the right price and I have in the great tradition of want away prima donnas already had the photo taken of me with the club shirt next to my Xmas tree before I have signed"

It is thought he was joking but he accidentally attached the picture below to the tweet.

It it you can clearly see that he is indeed holding a Liverpool shirt and there is a Xmas tree in the background, it is a classic pose from a want away ego driven superstar and soon the internet was awash with comments.

Clive Foley, co founder of The Ugly Inside and a regular contributor was shocked.

"I spoke to him only on Xmas Eve, he made no mention of Merseyside only that the Postman appeared to have removed the £20 note from the Xmas card he had received from me"

TUI TV Anchorman Freddie Hunt was likewise not only shocked but stunned as well.

" I'm not only shocked but stunned as well" he said

" Nick is a delight to work with, pure genius, I would say going to a Liverpool website would be a backward step for him, another year on TUI TV and he would have had Sky after him and if he learn't Spanish both Barcelona and Real Madrid "

Empire Of The Kop declined to comment, but through their solicitor issued the fllowing statement.

"We can categorically state that we have not approached Nick Illingsworth either directly or indirectly and we have officially ended any interest we had in him, we respect The Ugly Inside's position and apologise if they have misinterpreted any comments we have made, however if they would like to beg us to take him then we may reconsider our interest"

So what is the truth ? Has Nick really defected to Liverpool ? We know that he was missing from the squad at Chelsea, but he did travel up to Spurs on Boxing Day, although pictures show him to be looking very miserable and hacked off for some apparent reason.

Stop Press ! As this article was about to be published Southampton FC Issued a statement.

A short statement on Southampton FC's official website said only.

"Southampton Football Club can confirm it has reached an agreement with Empire Of The Kop over the transfer of Nick Illingsworth."

"Southampton have agreed a fee that will set a new world-record for a Fanzine Editor."

"The club wishes Nick well in his future when the deal is completed on January 1st 2018."

What to read next:

Southampton V Bournemouth The Preview
Saints take on the Cherries in the New Forest derby, although given the name, most Southampton fans care more about who has the best trees in their half of the forest, than how Bournemouth are doing.
Southampton V Bournemouth In Pictures Part 2
The second part of our pictorial view of the Cherries visit to St Mary's takes us from 2018 up to the present day, how many of the games and the players who took part, do you remember, give your memories in the comments section below.
Southampton V Bournemouth In Pictures
The first of a two part pictorial view of The Cherries visits to St Mary's in the last decade, there have been so many players who have come and gone over the past 10 years, there will be a few forgotten faces, how many will you remember after this memory jog.
Are Things Far From Ok In The Southampton Camp ?
The win at Ipswich last weekend, prompted hope that Ivan Juric was finally moving his team in the right direction, but the days following that win have perhaps exposed frictions that seem to lie within the camp.
Saints In The Great War ! Another Great Book From Hagiology Publishing
It has been a while now since the last book from Hagiology Publishing hit the shelves, but it's been worth the wait, with the latest effort, being just as interesting from the historical perspective as it is the footballing side of things.
Southampton V Burnley The FA Cup Verdict
This should have been a game that brought a little life relief to Southampton supporters, instead it was possibly the worst performance that we have produced this season, it had little hope for the future either this season or next.
Southampton 0 - 1 Burnley - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Southampton V Burnley In Pictures
Here we take a look back at some of the clashes with Burnley at St Mary's and remember a few old familiar faces, what are your memories of these games & the players, give your stories here.
Southampton Announce Appointment Of New Technical Director
Almost a year after Jason Wilcox left St Mary's to join Manchester United, Saints have finally appointed his replacement, many Southampton supporters would say that this is perhaps the main reason why we are now certain to be relegated.
Southampton V Burnley The FA Cup Preview
Saints take on one of the best teams in the Championship as the worst team in the Premier League, a good gauge of the big gap between the two divisions now, so which one will come out on top and get the chance to be ritually slaughtered at Anfield, The Etihad or another Big 7 club.