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Fonte's Dog Reveals That His Owner Is Off To United

With the press managing to find news about whether Jose Fonte does or does not want to leave Saints from all sources, it was inevitable that they would eventually realise they were barking up the wrong tree in their desperation.

So far everyone connected with Manchester United, Jose Mourinho or Jorge Mendes seems to have been quoted in the press claiming that the Portugese defender wants to test himself at a bigger club or that he wants a big pay rise, sometimes both.

However most of these sources are un named and therefore unreliable, that is until now and the revelation by Fido Fonte that his owner is off to Manchester United.

A dog is never more in a more vulnerable position than when he is having his annual jabs with a needle stuck in his nether regions and Fido Fonte is no exception, and now an unscrupulous vet has taken advantage of this and thrown doctor/patient confidentiality out of the window.

Dr D Little is the veterinary surgeon that Saints players turn to when their pooches need treatment and this puts him in a unique position and he has now seemingly exploited it for personal gain.

Fido Fonte in a visit to his surgery earlier this week was very candid in what he thought was a conversation that would remain private, in it he revealed that his owner was already purchasing Happy Monday's albums and calling close friends "Our Kid"

More worringly he has also stopped saying that its very sunny this afternoon, preferring to say its "Sunshineeeeee todayeeeee" whilst standing holding his hands behind his back and occasionally calling his brother up on the phone in Portugal to call him a ****

Fido also revealed that the Euro 2016 winner was looking at brochures for bank vaults in Manchester.

Dr Little it turns out was taping the conversation and has received an undisclosed fee from a downmarket national newspaper who the following day did an expose on him claiming he kept pictures of naked animals on his PC.

This is not the first time that Dr Little has been the centre of such controversy, in the summer of 2014 the Vet claimed that Rover Lambert alerted him to his owner moving first to Liverpool and then West Brom as he wanted to be nearer Crufts and in the same year Foo Foo Schneiderlin a French poodle of little footballing knowledge suddenly started to claim that Spurs were a big club, now I know French Poodles are not the brightest of dogs but even The Sun never bought that one.

This morning Fido Fonte was trying to distance himself from the claims and brushed past the press as he went out for his morning walk, at one stage cocking his leg up against one of the paparazi.

From a ethical point of view the Press Complaints commission is known to be very worried about a spate of articles in the press with quotes from veterinary professionals claiming to have spoken to the pets of the rich and famous.

Victor Wanyama's goldfish Trevor was one such animal who was exploited, it later turned out that Trevor had been won by the Kenyan at the fair on Southampton Common by hooking a duck and had died two days later, although that did not stop Liverpool trying to sign him.

So does Fido Fonte's story hold water or is it a case of the press desperate for a story looking to create one where one doesn't exist.

Tomorrow ! Exclusive from The Ugly Inside, Dusan Tadic's Serbian Bull Terrier reveals how biting Ronald Koeman's arse lead to a break down in relationships between his owner and the Dutch manager

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