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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match 14:33 - Oct 23 with 13132 viewsNorthernr

Anecdotes welcome. On the Podcast tonight, thinking of doing this as a lighter subject so it's not all doom and gloom. In the wake of somebody at the Spurs match on Saturday overheard yelling "Get two strikers on Boas you... you... fcking Mourinho bstrd."
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 15:43 - Oct 23 with 1932 viewsMrSheen

From the Crowd...at Andy D'Urso, on his first appearance , about 15 years ago:
"Oi Ref, I've got socks older than you."

On the pitch, QPR v Ipswich, c1985. Alan Sunderland to Romeo Zondervan:
"Romeo, Romeo...get it down the f***ing line!"
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 15:47 - Oct 23 with 1917 viewsBuck_Chilly

Last season at home, can't remember the match.

I think it was aimed at Hall, the guy next to my dad shouted after a p1ss poor headed clearance:

"Fcking hell Hall! He's got a head like a 50 pence piece!"

Made me laugh for a few minutes.
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 15:48 - Oct 23 with 1915 viewsFearless

Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 15:18 - Oct 23 by Jeff

Do we still have Fearless' ten minute Agyemang rant on the platform at Crewe (?) post Wigan?

Fairly sure Neil recorded it...


I bloody hope not!

Always enjoy the ones from JU

"Ref, there was nothing wrong with that foul !"

And at a home game post rushden and diamonds when Ainsworth smashed a ball miles over the bar:

"Ainsworth, just cos you scored a goal of a lifetime doesn't mean you can repeat it.....ok, you did it twice in 1 game but still...."

Also remember when Stuart Pierce was playing for Forest every time he came near a well known R's fan would shout out "you're useless number 3"
After this went on for a while, a nearby helpful fan thought it was wise to point out that his name was Stuart Pierce - and received the reply
" I bloody well know that but I'm not prepared to give him the satisfaction of me knowing!"


Or how about, shouted to the bench:
"For christs sake get Gallen on"
It was pointed out that Gallen had been playing all game, this info was received with a further shout of:
"Get Gallen off he's bloody useless!"
[Post edited 1 Jan 1970 1:00]
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 15:48 - Oct 23 with 1914 viewsMoonshineSteve

Coming out of the lower loft and into Loftus Road, there's four coppers on horses facing us. Voice heard muttering "sh1t, it's the apocalypse".

I am still Steve but no longer in Dagenham.

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 15:57 - Oct 23 with 1889 viewsJAPRANGERS

Forget the game now but the bloke sitting next to me was having a right old go at the linesman " if your arse was any wider I could drive my car up there!"

Who'd be a linesman anyway?? How much cash do they get paid for all the abuse they receive??
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:00 - Oct 23 with 1868 viewsderbyhoop

Not QPR but, after Delia's famous "lets be having yaa" on the Wednesday night, they played Chelsea onthe Sunday. The chants went

"we've got Abramovich, you've got a drunken bitch"
"We've got a super cook, you've got a Russian crook"
"One Gordon Ramsey. There's only 1 Gordon Ramsey".

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain) Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:01 - Oct 23 with 1868 viewswombat

Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 15:40 - Oct 23 by Toast_R

Villa at home back in the 90's

Everyone singing Big Fat Ron is homosexual in tandem before it fades out to quiet and then one big bugger pipes up with

Big Fat Ron?
Your a Homosexual!

Gave loads a good laugh...had to be there I suppose


Although it might have been Coventry not Villa?
[Post edited 1 Jan 1970 1:00]


heres my contribution , playing boro I think many moons ago when craig hignett came over to the west paddock for a throw in , I was slightly worse for wear drink wise and asked him how his wife was, (hed been arrested due to some row the week before and thrown out the house) he turned round big smile on his face and replied fEck knows havent seen her for ages , he did get a round of applause from those who heard it


second one while playing liverpool and sat in SA a guy behind bellowed out Barnes you fat Black bastard , it was funny as the guy who shouted it out was fat and black as well everyine wet themselves around him

Poll: which is your favouite foot

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:14 - Oct 23 with 1821 viewsLOFT67

Ex. glasgow rangers goalie, andy goram, was being treated in his latter playing days for the club with mild schizophrenia, each time he made a save the rangers fans chanted " two andy gorams, theres only two andy gorams".

Loft67

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:16 - Oct 23 with 1814 viewsMrSheen

We were playing Mansfield about 10 years ago (which is pretty funny itself). A Mansfield fan, a tiny old bloke with a beard and a big raincoat, sat himself down alone in the middle of the Ellerslie, p*ss*d out of his head, and started bellowing filthy threatening abuse to all and sundry, to the amusement of most. Eventually someone got sick of it and called the stewards. As he was being led out, swearing and gesturing vigorously, someone started to sing,
"Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, it's off to work we go"
I thought he was going to explode.
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:32 - Oct 23 with 1763 viewsA40Bosh

Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:14 - Oct 23 by LOFT67

Ex. glasgow rangers goalie, andy goram, was being treated in his latter playing days for the club with mild schizophrenia, each time he made a save the rangers fans chanted " two andy gorams, theres only two andy gorams".


That is my favourite of all time,

pure genius.

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:33 - Oct 23 with 1761 viewsWalnut

Spurs away early 90s, the away end was mid redevelopment. Despite a large away following & big crowd overall, crowd noise was a bit muted. QPR fan shouts toward the Shelf "What time's the atmosphere get 'ere?"
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:36 - Oct 23 with 1756 viewsWalnut

also made me laugh, QPR v Ipswich at ours 96/97 midweek. Jurgen in goal. They lash in the only goal at the away end. Guy behind me in the Loft "hell of a strike & nothing the dodgy American could do about it"


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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:47 - Oct 23 with 1721 viewshoof_hearted

"Oy Kitson - your mum's a wotsit"
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:50 - Oct 23 with 1713 viewsNov77

There was an Irish guy sitting behind me at the england B international that was held at Loftus road.
for the whole game whenever Le Tissier came near us he would shout out "WELL PLAYED MATTCHEW!!" then turn to his friend and say "He's feckin' useless you know".
Anyway Le Tissier ended up with a hat trick, and the Irish guy declared, "he only gets in the team coz he knows Bergerac".

Poll: December goal of the month - vote for your favourite R's goal during December

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:55 - Oct 23 with 1696 viewsxistens_pet

Every time Peter Crouch scooped a shot from 18 yards well over the School End roof and everyone shouted "Ohhhh, Rodney!" in disappointment.
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:56 - Oct 23 with 1674 viewsPacal_Votan

Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 15:02 - Oct 23 by Mytch_QPR

Twas a Tuesday Carling Cup match in the early 1990's (Steve Slade era) and we were losing 3-0 or 3-1 (haven't checked the history books) in our usual 'Cup casual' form to someone like Carlisle. LR boasted the atmosphere of a vacumn and the attendance was not large, as you would expect (the club considered holding the tie in a phone box off the Uxbridge Rd).
Anyway...
About half way through the second half, in the hushed silence, as another Rangers effort found its way to the back of the School End Upper, someone (maybe a poster on this site?) gets up, throws down his programme, and just cries out "You f***ing ruined my life, Rangers", and walks out.
My mate, who was sitting with me at the time now lives in Australia, but still greets me with that same line when we discuss Rangers!


He don't post on here but it's still hailed as a classic. I was there....as they say.

"Try the whine!!!"

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:59 - Oct 23 with 1668 viewshoof_hearted

Me to Owen Oyston when we played Blackpool a few years ago...we were almost face to face...

Me: "Ah, Mr Oysten. I know your therapist"

Him - smiled politely at me but looked quizzical...

Me: "Sorry, I meant I know you're the rapist"

Even he laughed.

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 17:00 - Oct 23 with 1664 viewsngbqpr

Liverpool away in the 80s, when we got that corner of terracing. Rangers are struggling, and many start to question the wisdom of Wayne Fereday being left on the bench, opining his speed could be just what we need.

Finally, Wayne is called to the action - as he trots on, one R, knowing the point he wishes to make but not engaging his brain long enough before he opens his mouth, shouts "that's right Wayne, you get on there & show 'em...how fast you can run..and run really fast...and show 'em how you can run...." etc etc, getting more gibberish-like and "run Forrest run" by the minute, A bit of a ''you had to be there' one, but it was excruciating that the longer he went on, the more awkward it became

Ref the Rangers / Goram one - Newcastle playing at Derby, the PA bloke announces that Warren Barton is coming on. Except WB is already on. Instant response from the Toon fans - "there's only two Warren Bartons"

I remmeber that "look at me I play for Port Vale" one, priceless

And genuinely heard at Notts County from an aged local: "Referee, you're a buffoon!"

Poll: Best hug a stranger / fall down five rows / 'limbs' late goals this season

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 17:01 - Oct 23 with 1660 viewsPeterHucker

Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 16:50 - Oct 23 by Nov77

There was an Irish guy sitting behind me at the england B international that was held at Loftus road.
for the whole game whenever Le Tissier came near us he would shout out "WELL PLAYED MATTCHEW!!" then turn to his friend and say "He's feckin' useless you know".
Anyway Le Tissier ended up with a hat trick, and the Irish guy declared, "he only gets in the team coz he knows Bergerac".


that reminds me of a funny one.
I went to an England B match at Loftus Road many years ago.
Gary Mabbutt was playing for England and I was stood in my usual spot, right in the middle of Lower Loft.
Every time the ball is in play at that end of the pitch, a bloke nearby shouts out very loudly "Oi! Mabbutt!".
This goes on for the whole match every time Gary Mabbutt is anywhere near that end of the pitch.
Towards the end of the match, the ball goes out of play at that end and the "Oi! Mabbutt" bloke shouts out "Oi! Mabbutt!" again. Gary Mabbutt finally ackonwledges this shout and turns to say "yes what do you want" and then our hero just shouts "YOU'RE A CVNT!"
Still makes me laugh now.
Back in those days there was some bloke who used to stand on the Loft shouting abusive sentences which always ended with the word "spunkbubble", anyone remember him?
e.g. "Shilton, you fat curlyhaired Derby spunkbubble"
"Wright, you lanky lamppost ginger freckly spunkbubble", that kind of thing.
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 17:02 - Oct 23 with 1651 viewsPinnerPaul

"Just because you're dressed in green lino, doesn't mean I can't see you!"
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 17:04 - Oct 23 with 1643 viewshoof_hearted

Chris Phillips who is at Jazz fm these days, I think, was the Wimbledon announcer.

He famously nearly got sacked for the announcement of a substitute...

"Coming on for Middlesborough, number 7, Hamilton Retard"
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 17:05 - Oct 23 with 1642 viewsOutWestR

Reading away a few years ago someone shouted "Come on ... my tits".

Quite funny hearing that from an overweight middle aged man
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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 17:05 - Oct 23 with 1642 viewswombat

the hi ho is my fav so far

Poll: which is your favouite foot

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 17:53 - Oct 23 with 1583 viewsWestbourneR

'Stand up if you can't sit down' when we were playing brigton a few years back.

Made me laugh but i have feeling it's not going to make the cut here...


Poll: Should JFH get the sack?

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Funniest thing you've heard shouted at a match on 17:55 - Oct 23 with 1580 viewseastside_r

'Oy Dowie, never mind tucking your shirt in, how about tucking your FACE in !'
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