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What's the percentage of this forum..... 02:59 - Sep 8 with 11733 viewsPacal_Votan

..that are any good at actually playing the so called "beautiful" game???





I reckon aboot 12%.....!




I'd wager most on here would be suited to being cub scout leaders.

"Try the whine!!!"

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 23:02 - Sep 9 with 1547 viewssmegma

What's the percentage of this forum..... on 18:30 - Sep 9 by QPRJennyxxx

Have played the game since i was seven, intend to join a team down here in Southampton as soon as i get this bloody tag off my ankle. It will be my 29th season. Was an old fashioned Target man, but with deceptive pace, which has long since gone. Started in senior football with Broadmoor for a season before nearly seven years at Sandhurst Town. Broke my leg twice in five months in my late twenty's when I was really starting to get the hang of it! during my injured period, 4 teams in the combined counties wanted to sign me, 4 of the bottom 5 teams in the league at the time, should give you an idea of my level! Hartley Wintney were the only team to offer me money, £10 appearance fee, £10 win bonus, £10 goal bonus!!!! joined AFC Wallingford for nothing instead and got relegated!!!! played more locally with Running Horse and Bracknell Forest in the East Berks league, and Sandhurst Devels in the Reading senior last season as well as sundays in the Bracknell Prem. Play with a few ex pro's, Chris Hodge (southampton) Paul Mckinnon (blackburn, malmo, and also one of 2 members i played with of the sutton team who famously beat Coventry) John charlton (exeter city, loaned from arsenal), and against joey beachamp, garry parker, and neil webb was manager of reading town too, what a fall from grace!!!!!


I crashed onto the cricket green at Hartley Wintney in a hot air balloon once. As you do.But thats nothing to do with football is it .Do carry on................
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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 09:18 - Sep 10 with 1508 viewsscottjones

What's the percentage of this forum..... on 14:35 - Sep 8 by real_loftus

Wasnt Scott Jones an England schoolboy?


For the 422nd time.

I was picked for the squad on a tour of Wales. The team consisted of "the best players from all youth leagues in the country". I was picked to represent the Harrow Youth League (at the time I played for & was captain of Harmondsworth FC...as did at least 2 other LFW regulars as it goes ;) ).

We played Wales, Swansea and some other randoms. I say "we" played...I came on for the second half of the last game of the tour on the wing despite being a defender. As I'm fast..yeah....built like an Ethopian and all that, the gaffer thought it was a good idea. I played shite.

Last game I played was some tournament at Griffin Park about 14 years ago. Again, I was shite.

Don't smoke kids.

Oh and I've taken 2 penalties in my 34 years on this planet.

I'm not very good at penalties.

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 09:22 - Sep 10 with 1502 viewsBrianMcCarthy

I was rubbish. I still am.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 09:37 - Sep 10 with 1496 viewsjonno

Played pro football (it was called "semi-pro" then because you still had a job but did get paid for playing) in the seventies for Dagenham (now Dagenham and Redbridge).
Hasten to add they weren't in the Football League in those days, but one of the better so called "amateur" sides. No protection from refs during those times plus the three evenings a week training after a day at work eventually put me off and I packed it in to go back to playing decent level park football at weekends.
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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 10:52 - Sep 10 with 1473 viewsMonahoop

Played like my footballing hero Stan Bowles once, at school.........for all but a few seconds. How did I know? Because my mates said so at the time. I dribbled with such velvet and verve leaving four or five players floundering in my wake before laying the ball off for a team mate to score. God I was chuffed! I tried it again and got hacked to bits.

Played a few games for Billingshurst under 18's in the West Sussex Youth League in the 70's. Got sent off once for a vicious tackle on Norman Wisdoms son who played for West Chiltington. Snide little git [ Wisdoms son, not me]. Another team mate was sent off later for doing the same. Wisdom Jnr had to come off too for his own safety.

Used to play 5 a side twice a week when I lived in Kingston. I played in goal most of the time. Played a blinder against a team which fielded a former Raith Rovers CF. I was black and blue by the time the game ended, but I made sure he never got the ball past me. He praised me for my heroics but said he'd never come up against such an idiotic keeper before. I gave up playing soon after.

There aint half been some clever bastards.

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 13:08 - Sep 10 with 1437 viewsA40Bosh

Started off like Merson at Ruislip Rangers, but the fags, booze and birds got the better of me by the age of 9 and I had to settle for playing just for my school side at a time when Eddie Newton was a few years behind us in my brothers class and we could see he would be quality even at 11-12 years of age. The Gallens were a bit further back and there was another fella who ended up playing for Fulham with a Nigerian name that I can not remember any more who was in my other brothers class.

Poll: With no leg room, knees killing me, do I just go now or stay for the 2nd half o?

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 13:11 - Sep 10 with 1434 viewswestberksr

Paul Alexander was a nutcase, wanted a fight everytime you tackled him; Merson went there at about 11. We got to the final in possibly 79; one of the first seasons. Lost 2-0 to Mavericks in the final; we were the first team to beat them in the league though; even after I scored an own goal in the first 5 minutes!

I'd heard Neil was the size of the average bungalow now; seems quite a few of our generation are now massive fat caants!
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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 13:17 - Sep 10 with 1420 viewssimmo

I am the typical cliche story same as others. Played for all teams and had some trials when younger but mostly told no due to my size (I am not the biggest now but was about 4 and a half ft and 8st dripping wet until I was about 15). Never really took it seriously though and by the time chemicals/drugs/alcohol and women came along I packed it all in at 15 bar the odd game of headers and volleys or 5 alive.

Was never going to 'make it' though. I went to primary school with Joe Cole and by the time he was in Year 4 (you leave after year 6) he was the best in the school by a country mile and decent players like me although could 'do a job' couldn't get near somebody like that.

My pal played with SWP when they were young and always bangs on about how shite he was then and its his dads connections/professional training that means he plays in the prem, I suppose that may have some effect but overall the difference in quality to be able to play at the top level is huge

ask Beavis I get nothing Butthead

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 13:18 - Sep 10 with 1420 viewsA40Bosh

What's the percentage of this forum..... on 13:11 - Sep 10 by westberksr

Paul Alexander was a nutcase, wanted a fight everytime you tackled him; Merson went there at about 11. We got to the final in possibly 79; one of the first seasons. Lost 2-0 to Mavericks in the final; we were the first team to beat them in the league though; even after I scored an own goal in the first 5 minutes!

I'd heard Neil was the size of the average bungalow now; seems quite a few of our generation are now massive fat caants!


I'd heard Neil was the size of the average bungalow now; seems quite a few of our generation are now massive fat caants!

Never a truer word said!

Poll: With no leg room, knees killing me, do I just go now or stay for the 2nd half o?

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 14:30 - Sep 10 with 1384 viewsaussiehoop

I'm terrible but did play against Rhys Williams, Chris Herd and Shane Lowry when I was a kid. They all seem to be doing pretty well at the moment.

Me, I'm doing well if I haven't thrown up before kick off. Nothing like Sunday football.
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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 15:34 - Sep 10 with 1366 viewsnadera78

What's the percentage of this forum..... on 13:17 - Sep 10 by simmo

I am the typical cliche story same as others. Played for all teams and had some trials when younger but mostly told no due to my size (I am not the biggest now but was about 4 and a half ft and 8st dripping wet until I was about 15). Never really took it seriously though and by the time chemicals/drugs/alcohol and women came along I packed it all in at 15 bar the odd game of headers and volleys or 5 alive.

Was never going to 'make it' though. I went to primary school with Joe Cole and by the time he was in Year 4 (you leave after year 6) he was the best in the school by a country mile and decent players like me although could 'do a job' couldn't get near somebody like that.

My pal played with SWP when they were young and always bangs on about how shite he was then and its his dads connections/professional training that means he plays in the prem, I suppose that may have some effect but overall the difference in quality to be able to play at the top level is huge


It's really difficult picking out which kids will make it and which won't, you just don't know what will happen as people develop. The best player I ever played with signed for Luton (and I was always staggered that they were the only club interested in him) and scored 20 goals for their youth team, from midfield. He was immense. Then he broke his leg, twice, and never played again. On the flip side, Marlon Harewood couldn't get in our team but he's gone on to have a good career and earned a fortune. Similar story for Jason Roberts who I often played against and never considered anything more than a decent school footballer.

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 15:45 - Sep 10 with 1361 viewsPacal_Votan

As a kid/teenager I trotted out for ....

Larkspur Rovers
Walpole Wanderers
Pitshanger Dynamo's


And I also scored twice at Loftus Road in the same game as Gongerr.......both at the Loft end I might add.

"Try the whine!!!"

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 16:27 - Sep 10 with 1344 viewsBluce_Ree

I play like a c**t. So, marginally better than Matthew Brazier.

Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore.

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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 16:55 - Sep 10 with 1336 viewsNorthernr

What's the percentage of this forum..... on 15:34 - Sep 10 by nadera78

It's really difficult picking out which kids will make it and which won't, you just don't know what will happen as people develop. The best player I ever played with signed for Luton (and I was always staggered that they were the only club interested in him) and scored 20 goals for their youth team, from midfield. He was immense. Then he broke his leg, twice, and never played again. On the flip side, Marlon Harewood couldn't get in our team but he's gone on to have a good career and earned a fortune. Similar story for Jason Roberts who I often played against and never considered anything more than a decent school footballer.



At Sheff Uni I was goalkeeper for a six a side team in the inter mural league made up mostly of lads who'd gone to uni after being in professional club's academies and not quite made it. We had a lad from Blackburn, couple from Everton, and they were still turning out in non-league for Matlock, Eastwood and Southport among others. It was grossly unfair and we pissd the whole competition until we got to the overall Uni final on the final day of the third year when the whole team bottled it and we were beaten 3-2 in front of a pretty big crowd that had turned up to watch the coronation.

Those guys were amazing and yet the only one who ever did anything remotely decent was Ian who got bought from Matlock by League Two Mansfield for 10k and then dropped back to Conference North with Eastwood a year later. PE teacher now.
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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 17:08 - Sep 10 with 1329 viewsnadera78

What's the percentage of this forum..... on 16:55 - Sep 10 by Northernr

At Sheff Uni I was goalkeeper for a six a side team in the inter mural league made up mostly of lads who'd gone to uni after being in professional club's academies and not quite made it. We had a lad from Blackburn, couple from Everton, and they were still turning out in non-league for Matlock, Eastwood and Southport among others. It was grossly unfair and we pissd the whole competition until we got to the overall Uni final on the final day of the third year when the whole team bottled it and we were beaten 3-2 in front of a pretty big crowd that had turned up to watch the coronation.

Those guys were amazing and yet the only one who ever did anything remotely decent was Ian who got bought from Matlock by League Two Mansfield for 10k and then dropped back to Conference North with Eastwood a year later. PE teacher now.


Yeah, it's almost impossible to pick who will and won't make it, even at a late stage in a player's development. There are just so many things that can influence it.

Mind you, it might help if scouts went about their job in a more scientific fashion. I remember being at a Middlesex Cup Final (U-14's I think) and during the warm up the C***sea scout approached the coach and asked "Who's the big black kid up front?" Without seeing even a minute of the bloody game.
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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 21:30 - Sep 10 with 1288 viewsHoopstar

I played a few seasons in the Hendon youth set-up just over a decade ago as a CM but was never going to make the step-up to their first team - think I got in mostly for my shouting abilities (have been captain of nearly every team I've played for as I'm an all effort but little skill type player and enjoy shouting at people on a football field.) One of my closest friends as a kid was a chap called Phillip Ifill who came through the Tottenham academy and actually played a few first team games in the Prem and cup before sliding down the leagues with Soton, Dag and Red and was at Kettering last time I looked. He was an unbelievable player in primary school - we won every game we played by at least four goals and nobody could ever get near to him at that age. His older brother Jerel was a mighty fine CB in his day too and played at a decent level but had a horrific back injury when playing for Watford U-18's (I think) which put paid to any hopes he had of playing at the top levels.

I played a few times for the University of Manchester side in 2006 but I've pretty much given up the ghost since as I moved to the states and Dorset for a while and couldn't find a local football scene and I just play for various power league and mates teams every now and then when I have the time these days.

I take it back - both Jerel and Phil are currently playing for Ketting and Jerel had a much better career than I believed!
[Post edited 1 Jan 1970 1:00]
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What's the percentage of this forum..... on 22:22 - Sep 10 with 1268 viewsQPRJennyxxx

My kids team was in shoot magazine for being 2nd/3rd best in the country, would have remebered if we were 1st! 4 lads at southhampton, 2 at portsmout, 1 at nothampton, 2 at spurs, not bad for team back then, they all ended up at places like, woking, aldershot, farnborough and basingstoke, and even played with two at sandurst town a few years later. you find your level.

mmmmmm Lee Cook xxxxxxxxx

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