Southampton FC have sent a strongly worded letter of complaint to UEFA regarding the club's ticket allocation for the forthcoming Saintsions League Final.

Saints have taken the unprecedented step of lodging an official complaint to UEFA after learning from unofficial sources that the number of tickets being made available for the Champions League final in Madrid would be exactly 0.

This is disgusting, once again UEFA fails to recognise those that have followed these players through thick and thin year in year out and are now going to miss out on seeing them in their biggest game.

Taking a vox pop in the pub we found that Saints fans are distraught.

" I was really looking forward to following our ex players in Madrid, it wold have brought tears to my eyes as Spurs roared out their anthem Oh When The Saints go Marching In" in recognition of just who has made them the club they are "

" Adam Lallana is one of our own what better than singing it in Madrid surrounded by many people from the South, OK most of them would have been Liverpool fans but loads of Saints fans are backing Liverpool and would have gone"

" I was going to spent my entire savings on this game just to see our lads, Virgil Van Dijk is my favourite, he loved Saints so much he wouldn't even charge the club for transport up to Liverpool for talks paying for a private jet out of his own money and not even telling Saints so they wouldn't feel like he was giving them charity"

With Liverpool having
Virgil Van Dijk
Dejan Lovren
Nathaniel Clyne
Adam Lallana
Sadio Mane
Alex Oxlade Chamberlain

And Spurs
Paulo Gazzaniga
Toby Alderweireld
Victor Wanyama

All having played for the club and Spurs also having former Saints boss Mauricio Pochettino , the club have stated quite clearly to UEFA that without Southampton FC there would be no Champions League Final taking place or at least not one of note.

The Ugly Inside has obtained a copy of the letter sent to UEFA:

Dear Sirs

It has come to our attention that you are planning a Champions League Final in Madrid on June 1st in Madrid, this is the same night that we ourselves had booked our Ex Saints players reunion party at St Mary's and having consulted our lawyers they have concluded that both events are identical and in law could be construed as one and the same.

If you could see your way around changing the date to possibly Friday 31st May so that players playing in your event could feasibly attend ours in that they would not need to be in Madrid to the early evening of the 1st, then that would be a great help and possibly solve a delicate situation.

Also large number of our supporters intend to be in Madrid to support their former favourites so we would have appreciated an allocation of tickets for this event, however we have heard through the media that we will not be receiving any tickets for the game as the 50,000 tickets not being given to Spurs and Liverpool are going to be all needed to help line the pockets of those totally unconnected to all three clubs involved in the final.

We would urge you to reconsider your position immediately and both change the date to the Friday evening and also send us a cart load of tickets for the thousands that want to support our ex players in Madrid.

Yours faithfully

Saints

PS We are aware that the Liverpool manager is copying ours in many of his mannerisms, we have copyrighted many of these and will take legal action if it persists, we would also ask you to destroy all official merchandise bearing the slogan, "The Hasenhuttl Of Bootle"

So Saints are showing that they are not going to miss out on the commercial opportunities that the Champions League final will offer, they feel they are due a place at the party having contributed so much to both clubs being there.

It is believed that next week the club will release its "Saintsions League" range of merchandise, this will include The Road To Madrid T Shirts for each club, listing the Saints games of our ex players including Adam Lallana's debut against Yeovil in 2006 and Paulo Gazzaniga's match winning performance against Aston Villa in 2012 to name but two crucial games without which it would be Ajax V Barcelona in Madrid.

There will also be a range of half and half scarves, but these will be with a difference, each half will have an ex Saint from each club, Adam Lallana & Victor Wanyama, Toby Alderweireld & Van Dijk & one with just Dejan Lovren on it as it would be unfair to associate anyone with that ****.

There will also be a commemorative spittoon that can be placed by the sofa so that all that saliva won't ruin the carpet.

But the biggest seller will perhaps be the Saintsion League TV Protector, this is a piece of glass toughened against the power of a shell from a Howitzer canon,this comes with a guarantee that no matter how annoyed you get, the glass will stand strong and protect the telly from any known projectile, Bricks, The Dog, A large Horse, Kung Fu kicks, North Korean Missile Testing, literally anything known to man. *

* This guarantee will not be valid in the event of a last minute Dejan Lovren or Virgil Van Dijk winner.

So all roads will lead to Madrid after Sunday and the 2019 Saintions League Final.

Photo: Action Images

smartjoe added 14:31 - May 10 Congratulations. That was just brilliant.
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ChristchurchSaint added 14:49 - May 10 Very good Nick, hadn’t seen any of your humorous contributions for a while and wondered if I had missed them, obviously not!
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SaintPaulVW added 15:00 - May 10 Love it. Nice one.
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SaintBrock added 16:51 - May 10 Always a grain of truth!
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