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You should have put the word out about this earlier. The wonderful travelling Rs fans could have gone en masse to Swansea in full Sgt. Pepper’s gear singing after the win, I have to admit it’s getting better, a little better all the time!
Nardi makes save or Rs outfield player executes successful tackle - eat one or two mince pies (depending on size)
QPR throw-in or corner won - eat a roast potato Any resulting foul throw-ins or failure to beat the first man - regurgitate the roast potato
QPR hit the woodwork - pour a small measure of port into your ear Any other QPR attempt on goal - drink a single whiskey QPR score - drink a double whiskey Opposition score - drink a double whiskey QPR go into a two goal lead - eat a swan
Commentator uses the phrase “forced turnover” - mash a mince pie into your forehead and cheeks then smear it with double cream - even better brandy cream
QPR yellow card - drink a shot of Malibu at room temperature QPR red card - drink a double shot of Malibu at room temperature
Any stoppages to the game, injury or water breaks - drink as much beer/ wine/ port/ sherry as you can manage without stopping during the interlude
QPR win - go fcuking mental with whatever you’ve got left over starting with the Sherry trifle
Top research Gus but here’s another scenario - what if they didn’t fight and instead made love - sweet sweet love. Their offspring could very much look like this …
Crikey one of the best Christmas nights at Loftus Road … the second half performance and the vibe leaving the ground was something else and you complain about hitting the woodwork … what it must be like to be near you at a game
You may be confusing the U18s (Youth Cup team) with the Development Squad. There is a bit of crossover between the two but I don't think any of the U18s are near the first team right now.
Anyway let’s stick to the point - Nick Hornby is an overrated talentless fcuker who couldn’t write a Christmas card let alone a decent novel.