Joey V Part 1.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close Loftus Road up with our Rangers dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a Joey Barton
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of Jude the cat;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with a mistimed tackle;
Then give the Stoke retards a good seeing to;
Let pry through the portage of Peter Crouch
Let the Sean Derry loose; let Adel overwhelm them
As fearfully as doth a Taiwoo
Overhang and expose his huge hampton,
Swelled like the head of a wild Zamora.
Now set the teeth of Mackie and stretch his nostrils wide,
Hold hard the breath of Cisse and bend up every spirit
To his full height. Or that of Sean Wright Philips.
Whose shooting is from fathers of war-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Ferdinands,
Have in these parts from morn till dusk fought
And worn their hooped shirts with pride:
Dishonour not your Bowles; now attest
That those whom you called Rodney did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser salaries,
And teach them how to war. And you, good fans,
Whose limbs were made in East Acton, show us here
The quality of your abuse; let us swear
That you are worth your season ticket; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble Premiership survival in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds at the White City dogtrap
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Sparky, Rangers, and Shepherds Bush!' |  |
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