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i hated the idea of this as well but i got through it, thing to remember is everyone is rooting for you and no matter how good or bad the speech is people will laugh in the right places and support you.
You just need to make sure you thank the right people, for mine i just said something funny and personal about each person so bridesmaids, father of bride, ushers etc then when you do the bit about the misses make sure you say how good she looks
i hated the idea of this as well but i got through it, thing to remember is everyone is rooting for you and no matter how good or bad the speech is people will laugh in the right places and support you.
You just need to make sure you thank the right people, for mine i just said something funny and personal about each person so bridesmaids, father of bride, ushers etc then when you do the bit about the misses make sure you say how good she looks
Dave has it nailed. Never been married myself but we were brought up in the Hotel business so I've seen hundreds of these.
Everyone will be rooting for you, without a doubt. Write out a list of people you want to thank. Thank them. You don't have to be hilarious, that grief is on the best man. Just be sincere. Start and end with the bride and how beautiful a person and a woman she is.
One bit of advice I heard is to make her proud. And the best way to do that is make her parents proud. They need to see that their daughter is marrying a man. Let everyone else act boyish. Personally, I think that's wise advice.
"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Echo brian's sentiments - i've been to a lot of weddings and seen a lot of good and bad speeches.
the Groom's responsibility is to be serious, the best man's responsibility is to play the fool, so make sure that any humour that you interject into the speech is relatively highbrow or clean. thank everyone for coming, toast absent loved ones, tell the parents how thankful you are they that they're letting you marry their daughter, perhaps include an witty anecdote about your wife which made you realise that 'she's the one' (keep it clean!!) and then make reference to the best man along the lines of 'we'll see if he's still the best man after the speech...' or something similar.
it doesn't have to be long either, the essays are for the father of the bride and the best man.
one final, and massively important point. rehearse, rehearse, REHEARSE. don't wait until the night before to write your speech. practice enough that you can do a lot of it by heart, and give yourself one word notes to look at, as opposed to reading from the script, it will come across so much better.
last point, enjoy yourself and relax a little, you're the second most important person there!
If you are a planner write a speech, if you are not just freestyle. First time round I tried to plan and it made me so nervous I was stumbling over words, really didn’t work. Second time I had jotted a couple of topics on a piece of paper and then just had a ramble, much less forced, funnier I actually enjoyed it - only downside was I genuinely nearly forgot to mention my wife to be, luckily remembered just as I was looking to sit down!
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. PG Wodehouse
My opening line was "I was very nervous about making this speech so I prepared a few lines. Now that I've snorted them I'm feeling better about the whole thing"
The OAPs didn't get it, but the younger ones though it was very funny.
Depending on the order of speeches and how well you get on with the bride's father and mother there is also the opening approach to get people laughing which I used back on the day when I was on after the Mrs father
"Thank you everyone, I knew it was going to be difficult to follow a speech by Peter........................................................ ............................................................... .................................... and I was right, I couldn't follow a bloody word of it!"
Again, if you are relaxed enough up there and know the crowd well then dealing with hecklers can also get people laughing with you and not at you.....
"No, Michael, please gone on speak your mind, I've got a spare 3 secs"
or
"Sorry about that folks, but every village has one"
Know your audience. I kept mine clean, had a few gags dotted about, thanked everyone who had helped out, told my folks I loved them and proud I was to be their son, told my in-laws how grateful I was for how generously they’d welcomed me into their family etc, then wan ked on for a couple of minutes about how much I love my wife. Spent most of the speech sobbing. Doesn’t need to be especially long, just make sure you thank the right people, and for me it was a rare opportunity to publically tell my family and friends what they mean to me and how grateful I am for their love and support.
I absolutely hate public speaking, so wrote the whole thing down as I was specific about exactly what I wanted to say — although there was still a fair bit of ad-libbing. As others have said, everybody there is on your side, you’re in a room full of people wanting you to do well, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to deliver the ultimate speech or worry if it goes a bit wrong. Personally, having watched dozens of Groom’s speeches on Youtube, I’d steer clear of nicking material off there — it’s the same gags in every speech and everyone will have heard them before.
Know your audience. I kept mine clean, had a few gags dotted about, thanked everyone who had helped out, told my folks I loved them and proud I was to be their son, told my in-laws how grateful I was for how generously they’d welcomed me into their family etc, then wan ked on for a couple of minutes about how much I love my wife. Spent most of the speech sobbing. Doesn’t need to be especially long, just make sure you thank the right people, and for me it was a rare opportunity to publically tell my family and friends what they mean to me and how grateful I am for their love and support.
I absolutely hate public speaking, so wrote the whole thing down as I was specific about exactly what I wanted to say — although there was still a fair bit of ad-libbing. As others have said, everybody there is on your side, you’re in a room full of people wanting you to do well, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to deliver the ultimate speech or worry if it goes a bit wrong. Personally, having watched dozens of Groom’s speeches on Youtube, I’d steer clear of nicking material off there — it’s the same gags in every speech and everyone will have heard them before.
just a hint to all you guys out there that write down the speech like Konk and i done.
Dont have so small writing that is very easy to read when you have not had a drink but not so easy when you have had a few brandies.
just a hint to all you guys out there that write down the speech like Konk and i done.
Dont have so small writing that is very easy to read when you have not had a drink but not so easy when you have had a few brandies.
or was that just me
Ha-Ha. I typed mine out. Oh, and personally, I limited myself to a couple of drinks before my speech — if I’d been half-cut I wouldn’t have fancied my chances of doing anything other than fu cking it up — but each to their own.
Had to give the father of the groom speech as the bride's father had passed away. As it was in Australia, I threw in a few light hearted digs that stayed clear of the convict cliches. But the father/best man should have most of the laughs.
You could try a line about having the new wife listen to you for 5 minutes uninterrupted.
There is a warning - the best man was so nervous he was well oiled before he spoke and it was so bad, it was funny.
Take it easy on the refreshments, At least, before you speak.
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain)
Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky
Had to give the father of the groom speech as the bride's father had passed away. As it was in Australia, I threw in a few light hearted digs that stayed clear of the convict cliches. But the father/best man should have most of the laughs.
You could try a line about having the new wife listen to you for 5 minutes uninterrupted.
There is a warning - the best man was so nervous he was well oiled before he spoke and it was so bad, it was funny.
Take it easy on the refreshments, At least, before you speak.
I'm surprised no one's raised the tradition of insulting their wife on their wedding day......something like:
'some men choose their wives the way they choose trousers - instead of something that looks good they opt for something hard wearing'
Twenty years on we're still together though I'm not forgiven!
Have only a couple of beers beforehand and let loose after. It's a great occasion and you'll think and speak better with a clear head.
Thanks guys, I will put alot of these into practice in a couple of weekends time.
I'm not so nervous having read all this as it appears my job is to really get the pleasantaries out of the way and the thankyous and leave the funny stuff to my bestman. I was Bestman at his a couple of years back which was probably alot worse then being the Groom due to the expectation although it was in Cuba so not half as many people watching. I rambled through that one after many a Rum Punch beforehand.
I'm just looking forward to getting this day of days out the way now, it's been dominating our lives for the past year what with having to attend church regulary(Church wedding is the mother in laws rule but I'm not religious at all) and just the planning and costs spiralling out of control (Bang goes by season ticket renewal). It's the relying on so many business'es and people hoping that everything comes together on the day that is the real worry.
Once the Speeches are done, it will be a significant moment to us, the day normality returns to our lives.
Echo brian's sentiments - i've been to a lot of weddings and seen a lot of good and bad speeches.
the Groom's responsibility is to be serious, the best man's responsibility is to play the fool, so make sure that any humour that you interject into the speech is relatively highbrow or clean. thank everyone for coming, toast absent loved ones, tell the parents how thankful you are they that they're letting you marry their daughter, perhaps include an witty anecdote about your wife which made you realise that 'she's the one' (keep it clean!!) and then make reference to the best man along the lines of 'we'll see if he's still the best man after the speech...' or something similar.
it doesn't have to be long either, the essays are for the father of the bride and the best man.
one final, and massively important point. rehearse, rehearse, REHEARSE. don't wait until the night before to write your speech. practice enough that you can do a lot of it by heart, and give yourself one word notes to look at, as opposed to reading from the script, it will come across so much better.
last point, enjoy yourself and relax a little, you're the second most important person there!
What's your charge out rate mate? - can I book in a session?
I wanted to get some pointers about this speech from researching the philosophy behind the films, Bridesmaids and Mammamia - but neither was available. I then thought I would try and gain some words of wisdom from the movie, The Hangover. But unfortunately that wasn't available either. In the end I had to make do with Star Wars... Traditionally the bride wears white and the groom wears black. So that basically makes the groom Darth Vader and the bride Princess Leah... Or a storm trooper. Errr... Anyway.... May the force be with you both.
A slight bit of humour to get the corwd relaxed worked for me.
I said, ' I have found a wife, who is beautiful and intelligent' and a whole list of other thigns she wrote down for that I forgot to bring with me'
The other one I heard at a wedding was ' I told my wife to be that I was nervous about making a speech, and she told me " dont try and be clever, just be yourself"
First things first - a backhander goes a long way.
Go one way or the other when talking about the missus - and I would go for bigging her up massively as a) it'll make all the other birds moist and b) almost all the other blokes will forgive you being soppy as they'll probably have been or will be in the position one day. For any that are still in doubt you can always give her a swift backhander to assert your position as the alpha male.
My mate said of his wife she was "very nice" - short of saying she's "a bit fúcking average" you can't really go further wrong as nearly every woman at the wedding said to me after (I had to give them all backhanders too, just to keep them in line).
My wife insisted on doing a speech at our wedding. The backhander that earned her is in the bank 9 years later and accruing interest daily.
Keep it simple, Open with the My wife and I would like to thank ( you will always get a cheer and a round of applause ) Mention that this is the last time you will be able to speak for 5 minutes without interruption Thank your parents and family, Thank her parents. She is wonderful and that she is a credit to them Have a gentle dig at your best man and thank him for his support Thank your mates/Stag do crowd Thank anyone that has travelled from far off places Make a toast to missing loved ones (grandparents etc) Mention the bridesmaids - How great they are Thank your wife and say how beautiful she looks etc... Make some notes but don't sound as if you are just reading from the peice of paper . The people there are your friends and want you to do well. Also when I got married I was told that if I was nervous about the speech get it out of the way early so maybe do the speeches before the meal. It them means you can sit back and relax and have some food as some are too nervous to eat but have a few beers and make arses of themselves. There are plentry of websites out there that will give you an idea of what to say just tailor it to your requirements. Good Luck
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