Autograph hunting, how embarrassing! Well I did promise.
Having refused to let my three kids go on the pitch for Millwall's jolly relay-race last week, I had to keep my side of the bargain and take them autograph hunting after the debacle against Watford.
Given the lacklustre performance and result, I was hoping they might not fancy it but we made our way round to the West Stand car-park armed with two flags, a programme and one official Leeds United Autograph book - £27.00 courtesy of a visit to the club shop before game (that was with my 10% season tickets discount).
I've never really been that star struck and celebrity mad to be honest, although I admit i did seek out a photo-opportunity with Peep Show actress and comedienne Isy Suttie when she came our way a couple of months ago. Even in the Ridsdale era, it used to amaze me how many gullible souls would cluster in the car-park, awestruck and pointing to the array of BMW's and Mercs and saying stuff like "Bet that's Hartey's new motor....." zzzzz. Actually knowing how Ridsdale splashed the wonga, they were probably the cleaner's and the typist's company cars!
The Watford players were first out and I had an interesting chat with Carl Dickinson, who had a brief spell on loan with us a couple of years ago and who hails up the road from me. I asked him if he wished he still was a Leeds player and his parting shot was "I would have been had it not been for that chairman of yours!".
A couple of guys who clearly had drowned their sorrows in hospitality, were desperate to get Chris Iwelumo to sign their chests - despite them being Leeds fans and he being the scorer of their two goals. He looked a bit alarmed when I pointed my new Nikon Coolpix at him, probably more startled than facing our defence that afternoon but he happily signed the autograph book for us, as did Troy Deeney, Martin Taylor and Manager Sean Dyche.
A familiar face emerged, that of Steve Bruce! No puns please! Obviously there to watch Young Alex he happily signed away and was quite a friendly chap, despite his past connections. Alex came over for a couple of signatures and I commended him on his headers, "Keeper had a blinder tho' didn't he?" was his response.
Adam Clayton followed before jumping into a black gun metal coloured Audi. Then came Tom Lees. Andy Lonergan popped out, still in his Macron training gear and not suited and booted like the other players. My son Harry told him that he was his biggest fan, he shrugged but happily posed for a few snaps.
Darren O'Dea had not been sat at home licking lollipops after his 10th yellow at Millwall but watching his team-mates struggle. I like O'Dea and said I hoped he didn't return to Celtic in the summer "No chance of that!" he said. I know he divides opinion, but he is one of the ones I would like to keep and think we realistically could hold on to him.
As for two players I feel will be on their way in the summer, Messers Snodgrass and McCormack, I was told by an oldish feller who looked suspiciously like an ebay hawker (the club have put a notice up near the players exit saying due to people profiteering from ebay, autographs will be given discretionarily), that the two Scots normally leave by another entrance because they hate giving autographs, like the two Finns. I was disappointed with Snoddy, he always seems to be the last man off the park clapping the fans at the end and as club captain, I would have thought he could have come over and signed about a dozen or so autographs.
Luciano Becchio was spotted leaving the banqueting suite and was happy to oblige a signature or three and another photo. Ramon Nunez and Leigh Bromby came from a similar direction and we bagged Nunez's autograph and then came the wait for Warnock.
"Its just the gaffer now" a security guard told us, and the many behind-the-scenes staff began to clock-off. It was just me, the three boys and two other Leeds lads left and by now it was 6:45. One of whom was adamant a Jag was Warnock's as they had seen him driving it away from Hull's KC stadium. We even noted the contents, a couple of suits and Macron training gear hung up.
There was also a Range Rover and a dark haired chap carrying a small child emerged and got in it, we realised it was Warnock's Leeds-based son James. According to Warnock JNR his Dad would be "...about 5 minutes."
The six of us made a pact to wait until half seven. We wandered towards the banqueting suite entrance where we thought Mr Warnock would emerge from. However that prompted a response from a firm but friendly security guard who told us that we would have to leave because he wanted to lock-up.
"But what about Neil?" asked one of my new found friends.
The Security fella reckoned he was locked-in a meeting with his Management Team and he had no idea how long he was going to be. Having read some of the comments he had been making on our smartphones, clearly he was not a happy bunny and probably not in the mood to speak to three nutters and three starstruck kids - we accepted defeat and trudged away - as we did Warnock's assistant Mick Jones was leaving and he bid us a cheery "good night lads".
Warnock can wait - apparently he will be signing his autobiography at thhe club shop next Saturday morning and failing that, I am sure Ken will be eager to put on another "Evening with Neil Warnock" at nearly £30 per head given that around 300 people turned up for the last one a couple of weeks ago!