It’s a second QPR appointment of the season already for Jeremy Simpson as he takes charge of Saturday’s trip to Bristol City.

Referee >>> Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire), likes to referee QPR against Preston.

Assistants >>> Nigel Lugg (Surrey) and Lee Venamore (Kent)

Fourth Official >>> Scott Oldham (Lancashire)

Previously

Sunderland 2 QPR 2, Saturday August 13, 2022, Championship

It is three years, almost to the day, since Ebere Eze last successfully accomplished this for us, at home to Wigan. We’ve played 148 times since. And then a hero came along. Two minutes of time remaining, two nil down, Stadium of Light, a depleted Rangers distinctly second best to a rip-roaring Sunderland, less time in the Last Chance Saloon, more ‘any last requests’ before somebody puts a bullet in you. We were done. It was no surprise that Tyler Roberts was the one to stick his hand up and head to the bar. “I’ll get one in shall I? No fucker else is…” Cheers Tyler. You’re a good man. Don't let this shit drag you down to QPR level, keep trying to bring people up to yours. Piling down the middle of the pitch with pace and purpose, Sunderland’s Gooch (stop it) ultimately felt he had no choice but to haul him down on the precipice of the penalty box. In an ensuing scuffle Ilias Chair appeared to grab a guy by the throat, referee Jeremy Simpson’s inaction as surprising as Chair being able to reach another adult male’s neck. Chair then took the free kick himself, picked the tallest geezer in the wall, beat him for height, dipped it down in time, and found the top corner of the next despite the despairing efforts of anaemic home keeper Anthony Patterson.

After that, nothing else mattered really, but for the record QPR went on to win an unlikely point. Simpson’s decision to add four minutes to a half which, from 65 on, had been given the full, brutal, unashamed Alex Neil treatment was an obvious fucking joke. The ball went out of play on 70 minutes and never came back in. The ludicrous notion that we should be allowed to change half our outfield players in a single Championship game now was used to the absolute maximum effect — stop the game, signal a substitution, get the fourth official to the touchline, and then… have a long discussion about who we might like to take off. At one point a double sub was used as an opportunity for the entire Sunderland team to journey across to the touchline for a water break. A water break. There was one cloud in the UK on Saturday, and it hung steadfastly over this gaff. I was cold. It was actually a QPR free kick, but instead of just letting us take it and making it the Mackems’ problem, Simpson just kept blowing the whistle, demanding they return to the field, but not doing anything to make it happen, nor taking action when it didn’t. We’ve seen this shit with Neil’s vile Preston outfit and Championship referees’ embarrassing impotence in doing anything about it, even in a supposed clampdown on such so-called “shithousery”, is as depressing as it is irritating. To then only add four minutes to the end of the game was an abication of duty by a referee who has to borrow a bollock from his wife just to be brave enough to order his own milky tea in an empty Starbucks.

Sunderland: Patterson 6; Ballard — (O’Nien 9, 6), Batth 6, Cirkin 6; Gooch 7, Neil 7 (Embleton 88, -), Evans 6, Clarke 6; Pritchard 7 (Wright 88, -), Stewart 7, Simms 8 (Roberts 60, 7)

Subs not used: Bass, Diamond, Alese

Goals: Stewart 31 (assisted Neil), Simms 40 (assisted Pritchard)

Bookings: Clarke 26 (foul), Evans 41 (foul), Gooch 86 (foul)

QPR: Dieng 8; Kakay 5, Dunne 6, Dickie 6, Travelman 4 (Bonne 90, -); Johansen 5 (Dozzell 75, 6), Field 5, Chair 6; Adomah 5 (Roberts 46, 7), Dykes 6, Shodipo 5 (Armstrong 81, 7)

Subs not used: Masterson, Gubbins, Walsh

Goals: Chair 88 (direct fk (!!), won Roberts), Dieng (!!) (90+2 assisted Chair)

Bookings: Field 30 (to shut the crowd up), Dickie 37 (foul)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 5 I’m done with this guy now. For a team to be able to wander off to the touchline for a water break on 80 minutes and stand there for as long as they liked, while he blew his whistle and waved his arms and nobody paid any attention, sums up his authority and control of games. Book people, add time on, hell let QPR take the free kick while they’re all standing over there see how quick they get their arses back on the pitch then. To do none of that… And then... The skinny four minutes of added time at the end would be laughable if it wasn’t so obviously wrong, and easy to get right. Given QPR’s pathetically insipid resistance and total unwillingness to match Sunderland physically for the vast majority of this game, there was nothing really to referee here either. Simply not brave, confident or authoritative enough to referee football games at this level. Should not be trusted with them anymore. There’s some church hall orange squash out there needs watering down a touch more and I know just the man for the job.

Blackburn 1 QPR 0, Saturday February 26, 2022, Championship

If they’d got the nil nil maybe you shake hands and move on. To a game we’ll never remember. Pragmatism. Blackburn’s waning confidence infront of goal had sent them down a rabbit hole of plenty of possession but few second half chances. But, as Rovers found in the first meeting, when you do that you run the risk of a moment of genius, a mistake by one of your players, or a poor bit of refereeing shafting you. The winning goal had a little of all three. An initial Blackburn attack down the left was driven by sub Ryan Giles and almost deflected into his own net by Rob Dickie but for an improvised save by David Marshall. Rovers played the corner short, Lewis Travis wasn’t expecting it, Sam McCallum stood his ground, Travis fell over, Jeremy Simpson awarded the softest of soft free kicks (think back to the handball he penalised McCallum for after he’d gone down in similar circumstances and you tell me the difference). Khadra took it, whipped it towards the far post, quite what on God’s green Earth David Marshall was doing with it I couldn’t even begin to describe, and that was the game won. Again, I don’t want to be a dick about this, but we don’t concede that goal with Seny Dieng. Blackburn deservedly in front.

Simpson started the game carding Field for the first foul in the match. Big day, we thought at the time. Lot of paper he’s going to get through. Pray for the rain forest. He then spent 89 minutes pretending that nothing would ever be a yellow card every again. I thought Travis and Johnson might be able to take up arms and get away with a light warning. Suddenly, with 90 minutes up, everything was a card again. Everything. Kaminski was booked for time wasting and lost his shit. Scott Wharton was booked for time wasting and laughed at the ridiculousness of it. If you thought Field was booked because he fouled Dolan in a dangerous area whereas Johnson only got a warning for crocking Willock because it was on the halfway line, then Ilias Chair was booked for a shirt pull in the centre circle to torch that theory. Travis, previously diplomatically immune, cracked into a horrible tackle from behind on Rob Dickie when the player was going nowhere, way past reckless and into excessive force, and should have been red carded. He, too, finally, saw yellow. Four bookings in four minutes after what he’d allowed to go before, Simpson then added six minutes which - with Nyambe down for five - meant he felt a half of five substitutions, a goal, and two yellow cards for time wasting, was worthy of one minute of stoppage time. You can’t spend 96 minutes playing as QPR had and then bitch and moan about getting another couple more to put it right but, once more, this was not a terrific piece of evidence for the defence of Championship refereeing standards.

Blackburn: Kaminski 7; Lenihan 6, Van Hecke 7, Wharton 6; Nyambe 8 (Zeefuik 58, 5), Travis 6, Johnson 6, Pickering 7 (Giles 71, 7); Gallagher 6 (Hedges 68, 7), Dolan 8, Khadra 8

Goals: Khadra 76 (free kick, won Travis)

Bookings: Kaminski 90+1 (time wasting), Wharton 90+2 (time wasting), Travis 90+4 (foul)

QPR: Dieng 7 (Marshall 46, 5); Adomah 4 (McCallum 67, 7), Dickie 5, Dunne 7, Barbet 5, Odubajo 6; Hendrick 6, Field 6, Johansen 5; Chair 4, Willock 5 (Gray 62, 4)

Subs not used: Amos, Ball, Thomas, Dozzell

Bookings: Field 7 (foul), Chair 90+2 (foul)

QPR 4 Reading 0, Saturday January 29, 2022, Championship

Three cynical interruptions of counter attacks brought quickfire yellow cards for Rob Dickie, Lee Wallace and Albert Adomah either side of the drinks. Dickie’s eighth of the season in the league, two shy of a ban. Reading fans, those that haven’t been at the bleach, may forlornly point out that had Wallace been booked for that early lunge on Yiadom then he might have been sent off here. Sam Field, absolutely superb in the Rangers midfield, was also allowed away with so much that I couldn’t quite believe his eventual yellow card in stoppage time wasn’t his second of the game. For their part they became the latest club for whom the only solution to the ongoing Chris Willock torment was to take turns kicking him, and Andy Rinomhota was eventually booked for this targeting. Overall, Jeremy Simpson refereed this well.

QPR: Marshall 7; Adomah 7, Dickie 7, Dunne 8, Barbet 7, Wallace 7 (Sanderson 66, 7); Field 8, Johansen 8, Amos 8 (Thomas 65, 6); Willock 8 (Austin 71, 6), Dykes 8

Subs not used: Ball, Dozzell, Odubajo, Walsh

Goals: Dykes 13 (assisted Willock), 35 (assisted Adomah), Amos 37 (assisted Willock), Dunne 51 (assisted Johansen)

Bookings: Dickie 44 (yellow), Wallace 45+2 (foul), Adomah 49 (foul), Field 90+1 (repetitive fouling)

Reading: Southwood 3; Yiadom 4, Holmes 3, Morrison 3, Baba 5; Drinkwater 2, Rinomhota 4, Laurent 5 (Dele-Bashiru 59, 5); Joao 3, Swift 3, Puscas 2 (Ejaria 46, 4)

Subs not used: Hein, Camara, Clarke, Ashcroft, Abrefa

Bookings: Rinomhota 48 (foul), Swift 72 (foul)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 8 Not the first time recently a team has given up trying to stop Chris Willock by fair means and just taken it in turns to boot him instead. That sort of systematic fouling, where the players take turns, is difficult for a referee to clamp down on and I guess Simpson would point out that Rinomhota was booked during a flurry of trips on Willock in the second half. Leniency, or perhaps slowness to act on that, more than balanced out with the amount that Sam Field got away with — I was so sure he must have already been booked when he finally did get a card in the last minute that I’d already noted it down as a second yellow and a red. Overall though, pretty well refereed. Played a terrific advantage for the first goal.

Derby 1 QPR 2, Monday November 29, 2021, Championship

The rest of the first half was a night spent in a hotel room with a mosquito - just intensely irritating enough to keep you awake, when all you really wanted to be was asleep. There was a QPR corner on the quarter hour flicked past Kelle Roos, who often gives the impression of somebody who won his professional goalkeeping contract in a tombola, but headed out from under the crossbar before it troubled the scorers. Two pretty obvious fouls on Albert Adomah were waved away by referee Jeremy Simpson, and then when he did finally award a free kick at the third time of asking Charlie Austin met the delivery firmly and sent the ball sailing so far off target one of the air traffic controllers at East Midlands Airport laid an egg.

Derby: Roos 6, Byrne 7, Jagielka 6, Davies 6, Forsyth 5; Thompson 6, Bird 6, Shinnie 7 (Ebosele 79, 7); Knight 6 (Kazim-Richards 79, 5), Morrison 4 (Jozwiak 69, 6), Lawrence 6

Subs not used: Stearman, Sibley, Allsop, Watson

Goals: Lawrence 10 (assisted Shinnie)

QPR: Dieng 6; Adomah 6, Dickie 6, Dunne 6, Barbet 5, Wallace 6 (Odubajo 53, 7); Johansen 6, Dozzell 7, Chair 6; Willock 8 (Field 90+3, -), Austin 7 (Gray 76, 8)

Subs not used: Amos, Archer, Ball, Thomas

Goals: Willock 50 (assisted Austin), Gray 90 (unassisted)

Bookings: Gray 90 (indecent exposure)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 6 Not a referee whose style I particularly enjoy, but mostly fine here bar a pretty obvious yellow card pull back by young Thompson in the first half that’s a yellow card every day of the week, and a pretty strong penalty shout for the haul back of Dunne in the second.

QPR 3 Preston 2, Saturday October 2, 2021, Championship

QPR: Dieng 5; Odubajo 5, Dickie 7, Dunne 7, Barbet 6, Willock 6 (De Wijs 80, 6); Ball 6, Johansen 6 (Amos 69, 7), Chair 8; Dykes 8, Gray 5 (Austin 69, 7)

Subs not used: Kakay, Archer, Dozzell, Adomah

Goals: Dykes 17 (assisted Gray), Dunne 71 (assisted Chair), Chair 74 (assisted Dykes)

Bookings: Amos 90+5 (foul)

PNE: Iversen 6; van den Berg 6, Storey 6, Bauer 6 (Lindsay 45, 4), Cunningham 5, Earl 7; McCann 5 (Browne 25, 6), Ledson 7, Johnson 7; Riis 6, Maguire 7 (Potts 73, 4)

Subs not used: Rudd, Whiteman, Sinclair, Murphy

Goals: Riis 27 (assisted Maguire), Earl 46 (assisted Maguire)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 5 Not a referee whose pernickety style I usually enjoy, and there was some pretty obvious stuff he missed in this game, particularly the Dykes penalty claim in the second half, defenders being allowed to just wrap their arms around strikers and hold them down under high balls which apparently is now fine, and all the usual gripes about kicking the ball away and time wasting that is ubiquitous at this level and ignored completely by the officials. Preston have gone away complaining that it wasn’t a foul for the free kick that led to the second goal (it was) and that the ball had gone out of play prior to the third. Lyndon Dykes' disallowed goal is not offside. But in the referee’s support I would say their style is to turn everything into problem. Every free kick, every throw, every corner, every goal kick is to be bitched and moaned about at length. Every knock, every niggle, every shoulder push, every brush is to be treated like a knife attack. They put the referee under enormous pressure — Maguire writhing around on the floor like he’d been shot, Cunningham doing likewise in the goal after the equaliser just two examples — to make a judgement call when actually very little has happened at all. Of course, the answer is to start bookings players for it - Browne, Maguire and Johnson prime candidates - and that PNE came out of the game without a card at all is a joke. But it makes it an incredibly difficult game to referee when literally every tackle within it is treated like Gavin Maguire v Danny Thomas by one of the teams.

QPR 3 Coventry 0, Friday April 3, 2021, Championship

Rangers were perhaps lucky to escape when sub Dom Ball conceded possession exposing Geoff Cameron and the American fouled Josh Eccles right on the edge of the box when he looked to be running clean through on goal. Referee Jeremy Simpson quickly on the scene to end the debate about whether it would be a yellow or red card for Cameron by booking Ball instead. Well, yes. Gyokeres’ free kick beat the wall, and Lumley, and missed the bottom corner by a foot or so. Still time for Lumley to preserve his clean sheet with a nervy save from Eccles’ long ranger, and QPR sub Albert Adomah to bundle past three men and hit a powerful shot which Marosi only just about managed to tip away from under his own crossbar.

QPR: Lumley 6; Dickie 8, Cameron 7, Barbet 7; Kakay 7, Field 8, Johansen 8 (Ball 83, -), Chair 8 (Adomah 76, 6), Wallace 8 (Kelman 83, -); Austin 7 (Dykes 66, 6), Willock 7 (Thomas 66, 6)

Subs not used: Kane, Bonne, Dieng, Bettache

Goals: Willock 1 (assisted Wallace), Rose og 22 (assisted Chair), Chair 68 (unassisted)

Bookings: Ball 84 (mistaken identity)

Coventry: Marosi 5; Rose 3 (Pask 66, 5), Ostigard 5, Hyam 5; Da Costa 3, Hamer 5 (Eccles 77, 5), James 6, McCallum 5; Allen 5 (O’Hare 58, 6), Godden 5 (Gyokeres 58, 5), Shipley 5 (Walker 58, 5)

Subs not used: Kelly, Wilson, Bakayoko

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 6 Very little to referee in a completely uncompetitive game. Couple of flashes of the pedantry we’ve come to know him for, stopping the game because a second football had blown onto the field miles and miles away from where the play was taking place. Seemed to book the wrong man for the Geoff Cameron foul at the end.

QPR 2 Reading 2, Tuesday October 22, 2019, Championship

Another helter-skelter evening of second tier fun and frolics for the regulars at the Kiyan Prince School of Science to enjoy and endure. Queens Park Rangers, at times slipping into an adventurous 2-4-4 formation, sneering at the idea of moderately competent defending like a teenager hearing about something their parents think is a good idea. Reading, already one managerial change deep into the season but surely, on this evidence at least, in a false league position, taking it to their hosts with the two outstanding players on the pitch. Jeremy Simpson, who doesn’t seem to enjoy refereeing, and isn’t a very good referee, was the referee.

Reading were excellent all things considered. Miles and miles away from the team their league position would suggest. Like QPR they went with two up front, and like Rangers both those forwards — George Puskas and Sam Baldock — scored goals. But unlike the hosts, the system really seemed to suit the Royals. While QPR struggled to dominate midfield in the way they had in a 4-2-3-1 at Hull at the weekend, and Ebere Eze suffered from a combination of being stuck too far wide and subjected to multiple cynical attempts to kick him out of the game (Simpson still fiddling around with that chuffing bulb while all that was going on), Reading impressed through the middle with Jonathan Swift and Liverpool loanee Ovie Ejaria easily the best two players on the pitch in a fluid midfield three with last season’s player of the year Andy Rinomhota.

QPR: Kelly 6; Rangel 6 (Kane 46, 5), Leistner 5, Barbet 6, Manning 6; Chair 6 (Pugh 77, 5), Scowen 7, Cameron 6, Eze 6; Wells 7 (Amos 67, 5), Hugill 6

Subs not used: Lumley, Ball, Mlakar, Osayi-Samuel

Goals: Wells 29 (assisted Eze), Hugill 58 (assisted Wells)

Bookings: Hugill 90+1 (retaliation), Eze 90+5 (foul, laughable)

Reading: Barbosa 6; Miazga 6, Morrison 7, Moore 6; Yiadom 7, Swift 8, Ejaria 8 (Gomes 90+2, -), Rinomhota 7 (McCleary 67, 6), Richards 6; Puskas 7, Baldock 7

Subs not used: Walker, Loader, McIntyre, Blackett

Goals: Puscas 31 (assisted Ejaria), Baldock 74 (assisted Yiadom)

Bookings: Rinomhota 56 (foul), Miazga 90+1 (persistent cuntishness)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 3 You know, I want to like him. I know better than most what walking around with hair like that can do to a man’s sense of self worth, so it would be good if I could turn around a couple of times a season and say “you know what, never mind that it looks like somebody’s stuck their pubes to your head with PVA glue, you’re really brilliant at refereeing football games mate”. And he reminds me a lot of Nick’s dad from Big Mouth, and who doesn’t like Nick’s dad from Big Mouth? (Treat yourselves). But the simple fact is, this is not a man cut out to referee Championship football games. Apparently the Sky commentators said of the handball “the officials can only give what they see” — or, in this case, not give what they’ve seen, and initially decided was a penalty, and gone to put the whistle in his mouth, only to inexplicably change his mind. This is far from a one off with this guy. I still remember Ayoze Perez chasing him across the pitch at the City Ground the other year when he’d denied Newcastle a similarly blatant penalty against Nottingham Forest. He consistently, persistently, either misses the big stuff entirely, or sees it and gets it wrong in any case. And even if you could forgive a referee not spotting defenders making incredible one-handed saves ten yards away, or big angry American defenders forearm smashing opponents off the ball, he combines this tin ear for the blatantly fucking obvious with a pedantry and fussiness over everything else that strangles the living shit out of games. You’ll rarely see one of his matches not go the way this one did in the last 20 minutes, with two sets of frustrated players starting to get involved in pushing and shoving matches, trying it on, starting skirmishes and so on — he not only cannot keep control of games, he actively engages in doing the exact opposite. Top notch pain in the arse.

QPR 3 Luton 2, Saturday September 14, 2019, Championship

Still, half time, 3-1. A lazy lob rather than a big stiff hard on perhaps, but a decent erection all the same. No real cause for concern. Just have a nice steady start to the second half with a lot of possession, take any sting that might come from Luton trying to seize initiative and momentum after a half time bollocking, add some fresh legs from the bench and then go on and fill your boots. Fourth goal, fifth goal, and a sixth for Paul Parker. Don’t, whatever you do, allow Cornick and Collins to load up the back post unmarked and force in a second Luton goal from a nice Shinnie cross to change the entire complexion of the game within minutes of the restart. Especially don’t do that if Luton have very kindly let you off with an identical move and miss just a moments before.

Don’t do that. Don’t do that at all. Because then an afternoon at the beach becomes an afternoon in the office. Then a lovely couple of hours reclining in the sun watching Ilias Chair and Eere Eze do bits becomes 45 minutes in a sweatbox waiting for Yoann Barbet to give another chuffing penalty away. (Actually, to be fair to the Frenchman, when Collins did go storming through for a certain equaliser and a perfectly executed sliding was required he did indeed come up with his second one of the game and referee Jeremy Simpson rightly kept whistle away from lips). Don’t do that because it’s taking something fun and making it something terrifying. And all so utterly needless and self-inflicted.

QPR: Lumley 5; Hall 6, Leistner 7, Barbet 7; Kane 6 (Amos 69, 6), Manning 7; Ball 6, Chair 7 (Pugh 74, 7), Eze 8; Wells 8 (Mlakar 66, 6), Hugill 5

Subs not used: Cameron, Smith, Scowen, Kelly

Goals: Eze 3 (assisted Chair), Wells 20 (assisted Leistner), 28 (assisted Eze)

Bookings: Kane 47 (foul), Hall 90+2 (foul)

Luton: Sluga 5; Tunnicliffe 5, Pearson 5, Bradley 5; Bolton 5 (Galloway 59, 6), Bree 6; Shinnie 6, Lua Lua 5 (Moncur 66, 6), Brown 7; Collins 7 , Cornick 7 (Lee 79, 6),

Subs not used: Mpanzu, Jones, Butterfield, Shea

Goals: Cornick 36 (unassisted), Collins 48 (pre-assist Shinnie, assisted Cornick)

Bookings: Shinnie 65 (foul)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 8 Unobtrusive and unfussy, the complete opposite of his pedantry and pickiness in previous performances. Big relief, contributed to a fantastic game.

QPR 2 Hull City 3, Saturday December 1, 2018, Championship

And then there was referee Jeremy Simpson. Few agree but I happen to think the standard of Championship refereeing is actually pretty good. We give sixes, sevens and eights to the officials most weeks and the vast majority of the decisions are correct, including almost all of the big ones, on the days when Andy Woolmer’s not involved. That said, this bloke really boils my piss.

But he wasn’t the reason we lost. Both teams got exactly what they deserved — three points to Hull for an excellent performance, full of attacking intent and clever tactical ideas and set ups; no points to QPR, who were peculiarly lethargic, tactically found out, and horribly complacent.

QPR: Lumley 5; Rangel 5 (Smith 73, 5), Leistner 5, Lynch 4, Bidwell 5; Cameron 5 (Hemed 63, 5), Luongo 5; Wszolek 5 (Osayi-Samuel 86, -), Eze 5, Freeman 5; Wells 5

Subs not used: Ingram, Furlong, Cousins, Scowen

Goals: Wszolek 24 (assisted Rangel), Freeman 90+1 (assisted Smith)

Bookings: Bidwell 78 (foul), Lynch 87 (nearly Christmas)

Hull: Marshall 7; Kane 6, Elphick 7, Burke 6 (de Wijs 46, 6), Lichaj 6 (McKenzie 46, 6); Henriksen 7, Batty 6; Bowen 9, Irvine 8, Grosicki 8 (Mazuch 74, 6); Campbell 7

Subs not used: Stewart, Long, Keane, Martin

Goals: Bowen 5 (unassisted), 69 (assisted Grosicki), Henriksen 20 (assisted Bowen)

Bookings: Batty 73 (time wasting)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 2 Uncle knobhead.

Birmingham 0 QPR 0, Saturday September 1, 2018, Championship

For your authentic, thick Championship sludge simply take two poor teams and boil them through a traumatic August until all the confidence has evaporated and they’re labouring under the misapprehension that a draw from a game against each other is a good result. Add one referee who grew up loathing football and is now dedicating his life to ruining it for the rest of us and serve over 90 stupefying minutes until your guests have started to weep.

The game started with a free kick into the wall from Jake Bidwell tormenter in chief Jota. At the other end, Wells went over in the area and enquired about a penalty from referee Jeremy Simpson. Given that Simpson deemed the Nottingham Forest goalkeeper belting Ayoze Perez in the back of the head wasn’t a penalty at the end of the Reds’ cup tie with Newcastle during the week, this one was never likely to be awarded. Strange though, because absolutely every other single little tiny insignificant thing that happened outside the area was a foul apparently. That’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul, that’s a foul. There were 41 free kicks awarded in this game, not far off one every 120 seconds. Honestly, it felt like three times that. If you told me the ball was in play for 15 minutes across the 90 I’d call you a liar. That’s a foul. That’s a foul.
That’s a foul.
And that.
Rangers did almost win it at the death regardless. A corner to the far post was returned to the heart of the goal mouth sparking a panic and Matt Smith, who has five goals in eight appearances against Birmingham across his career, hit the inside of the post with a close range header he should have scored. Some debate as to whether it would have counted because, of course, naturally, referee Jeremy Simpson had awarded the ten billionth free kick of the game, but that may have been for something that happened after Smith’s effort rather than before. By the time he put his whistle to his lips again and brought the game to a close, it was more of a mercy killing than a full time whistle.

Birmingham: Camp 6; Colin 5 (Harding 59, 6), Morrison 6, Dean 5, Pedersen 6; Maghoma 6, G Gardner 6, Kieftenbeld 6, Jota 6; Adams 6 (Solomon-Otabor 68, 6), Jutkiewicz 6 (Bogle 86, -)

Subs not used: Roberts, Mahoney, C Gardner, Trueman

Bookings: Maghoma 30 (foul), Pedersen 53 (foul)

QPR: Lumley 6; Rangel 6, Leistner 6, Lynch 6, Bidwell 6; Eze 6, Cousins 6, Luongo 5, Freeman 6; Wells 6 (Smith 85, -), Hemed 6 (Cameron 89, -)

Subs not used: Ingram, Baptiste, Osayi-Samuel, Wszolek, Smyth

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 5 A pernickety, pedantic, suffocating presence in a match that was already plenty shit enough without him stopping the bloody thing every minute and a half.

Preston 1 QPR 0, Saturday December 2, 2017, Championship

One early talking point was the Preston goalkeeper’s kit; he wore our green socks and shorts with a black top. All he was missing was the green hoops! Ridiculous, no amateur referee would allow such an obvious clash. In fact in the second half we looked certain to score from a corner but instead of heading it in, the bloke in green and black caught it comfortably.

The fans stayed with their team and we even managed to create a couple of opportunities. Robinson broke forward and hit a shot that was on target but well parried by Maxwell, of course the rebound went in between attackers rather than to one, and Smith hit a smart over-the —shoulder effort that went straight to the keeper. Holloway sent on Sylla for a pointless couple of minutes, where Preston successfully kept the ball safely away from their own half and managed to frustrate Bidwell and Baptiste into unnecessary bookings. Baptiste’s obviously proved far more important as he managed to make it two yellows and a red after the final whistle- cheers.

PNE: Maxwell; Fisher, Clarke (O’Connor 45), Huntingdon, Davies; Gallagher, Pearson, Barkhuizen, Browne (Harrop 45); Robinson, Hugill

Subs not used: Rudd, Boyle, Horgan, Pringle, Welsh

Goals: Hugill 88 (assisted Gallagher)

Yellow cards: Huntingdon 79 (foul), Pearson 79 (dissent)

QPR: Smthies 7; Wszolek 6, Baptiste 8, Robinson 8, Bidwell 7; Luongo 6, Scowen 6, Wheeler 5 (Smith 73, 6); Chair 6 (Sylla 90, -), Mackie 4, Washington 6

Subs not used: Lumley, Cousins, Smyth, Manning, Goss

Red Cards: Mackie 22 (serious foul play), Baptiste 90+6 (two yellows)

Yellow cards: Luongo 86 (foul), Bidwell 90 (foul), Baptiste 90+5 (dissent), Baptiste 90+6 (dissent)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 5 Just like our players, the performances of the men-in-the middle have faded recently. The last score I gave, to a Mr Martin at Sunderland, was as close to a ten as is possible, but here Mr Simpson has brought the average score down. Until the red card I thought he looked pretty solid. Mackie’s dismissal came as a shock to us, but we were a long way from the incident. If it was the right call, fair enough, you can make him a 6. But here we have another ref who seems to allow one set of players to berate him with no consequences. Smith could’ve /should’ve earned a penalty when forced to the ground late on. Instead the coward chose to award a free kick for an identical offence outside the box moments later. He also wimped out of sending off the violent Huntingdon, who was already on a yellow, when he flattened Smith again late on.

Bristol City 2 QPR 1, Saturday April 15, 2017, Championship

They’d had the ball in the net before half time as well when Smith nodded a Freeman corner in from half time only to be penalised for a foul on the goalkeeper. Bollocks. Fielding’s a decent shot stopper but he’s too small and doesn’t command his area at all. Flint had more to do with him ending up flat on his back here than Smith did — one of those where the referee, Jeremy Simpson, had decided he was giving a free kick almost before the corner was taken.

It’s a source of frustration that the clampdown on jostling in the penalty area announced last summer has, in the Championship at least, been interpreted almost exclusively as a crackdown on attacking players. While Premier League referees, Mike Dean in particular, have been penalising defenders and awarding penalties for holding, in the second tier all we’ve seen is a huge increase in the number of free kicks being awarded against strikers as soon as corners are delivered. With some referees, Tim Robinson in particular, it’s hardly worth having a bloody corner at all, so keen and quick are they to immediately award a free kick the other way. This one, from Smith, should have stood.

City: Fielding 6; Little 6, Flint 8, Wright 7, Bryan 7; Brownhill 6, Smith 6, Pack 7, Paterson 7 (Tomlin 88, -); Abraham 7 (Wilbraham 76, 6), Taylor 7 (O’Dowda 77, 6)

Subs not used: Magnusson, Hegeler, Cotterill, Giefer

Goals: Pack 14 (assisted Taylor), Paterson 40 (assisted Taylor)

Bookings: Pack 86 (time wasting)

QPR: Smithies 6; Furlong 6 (Washington 45, 6), Onuoha 5, Lynch 5, Bidwell 5; Manning 6, Freeman 6, Luongo 5; Ngbakoto 4 (Mackie 71, 5), Wszolek 4, Smith 4 (Sylla 69, 6)

Subs not used: Goss, Ingram, Perch, Lua Lua

Goals: Sylla 90+6 (assisted Washington)

Bookings: Manning 35 (foul), Luongo 45+1 (foul), Freeman 53 (foul), Mackie 90+3 (foul)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 6 Bit slow to punish the time wasting — Pack eventually booked in the 86th — and I thought Smith’s goal from the corner in the first half was fine. All of QPR’s bookings more than fair. Not helped by a linesman on the main stand side whose concept of the touchline and where it figures in the rules of the game left a lot to be desired.

Rotherham 1 QPR 0, Saturday December 10, 2017, Championship

Rotherham: Price 7; Fisher 6, Wood 6, Belaid 6, Mattock 6; Forde 6, Adeyemi 6 (Vaulks 85, -), Frecklington 8, Newell 7 (Kelly 90+3, -); Ward 8, Brown 8 (Taylor 86, -)

Subs not used: Ball, Blackstock, Yates, Bilboe

Goals: Brown 24 (assisted Ward)

Bookings: Adeyemi 50 (foul), Frecklington 83 (foul), Forde 87 (foul)

QPR: Smithies 7; Onuoha 4, Hall 5, Lynch 5, Bidwell 4; Sandro 4 (Gladwin 72, 5); Luongo 5, Cousins 5; Chery 5 (Wszolek 89, -); Ngbakoto 5 (Polter 59, 5), Washington 5

Subs not used: Ingram, Henry, El Khayati, Shodipo

Bookings: Ngbakoto 45+3 (repetitive fouling), Luongo 48 (foul), Polter 73 (foul)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 8 Very decent. Not a lot to referee but consistent, calm and not over-fussy. Blessed relief after the last couple of weeks.

QPR 1 Bristol City 0, Saturday May 7, 2016, Championship

The same can be said of Alejandro Faurlin, who may also now have played his last in Hoops. It looked for one glorious moment in the second half like he was going to sign off with a spectacular goal, tiptoeing through the tulips on the edge of the City penalty box before being tripped right on the line. Tjaronn Chery’s resulting free kick flicked off the wall on its way past the top corner, but referee Jeremy Simpson awarded a goal kick.

But the goal, a real sucker punch, seemed to knock the stuffing out of City for the final half hour of the game. Johnson responded with a triple substitution, and had good reason to believe his side should have had a penalty when Kodjia seemed to be impeded in the area by Hill — I’d have wanted a spot kick at the other end — but the contest petered out after Rangers had taken the lead and QPR could actually have ended up winning by more.

QPR: Ingram 7, Onuoha 6, Hall 6, Hill 7, Kpekawa 7; Henry 6, Faurlin 7; Gladwin 6 (Petrasso 67, 6), Chery 6 (Hoilett 59, 6), El Khayati 5; Washington 5 (Polter 74, 6)

Subs not used: Lumley, Perch, Prohouly, Grego-Cox

Goals: Henry 63 (unassisted)

Bristol City: O’Donnell 6; Ayling 6 (Vyner 68, 6), Pearce 6, Baker 6, Goldbourne 6; Reid 6, Pack 6, Bryan 7 (Freeman 68, 6); Tomlin 8; Kodjia 6, Wilbraham 6 (Dowling 67, 6)

Subs not used: Little, Williams, Agard, O’Leary

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 6 Not much to referee, but I thought City were unlucky not to be awarded a second half penalty and Chery’s free kick was certainly deflected over when he awarded a goal kick erroneously.

Bolton 1 QPR 1, Saturday February 20, 2016, Championship

Bolton’s pitch, more mud than grass, looked to have another couple of hours left in it. Had this been an evening game, referee Jeremy Simpson may have had a call to make. One patch of bare earth stretching from the goal to the corner flag in front of the away end glistened under standing water, and the whole thing played like a skating rink — players struggling to keep their balance, the ball picking up pace and skidding off in random directions every time it landed.

Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink stiffened his midfield following the capitulation against Fulham a week ago by recalling Karl Henry. A shrewd move in the circumstances — despite a first half yellow card from referee Simpson for a tackle that looked to cleanly take the ball and was certainly no worse or different from three that had been made immediately before it, and Darren Pratley’s subsequent prolonged attempts to wind him up and extract a red card, Henry protected the defence well and closed that space in the ‘ten’ position from where Fulham had done so much damage.

Bolton: Amos 5; Vela 5, Dervite 6, Holding 6, Moxey 5; Spearing 5, Pratley 6, Davies 5, Clough 8 (Danns 84, -); Heskey 4 (Madine 53, 5), Feeney 5

Subs not used: Rachubka, Osede Prieto, Wellington, Dobbie, Woolery

Goals: Clough 68 (unassisted)

QPR: Smithies 6; Perch 5, Onuoha 5, Hall 6, Konchesky 4; Luongo 5, Henry 6 (Chery 80, -); Phillips 5, Hoilett 5 (El Khayati 62, 7), Mackie 5 (Polter 74, 6); Washington 6

Subs not used: Angella, Toszer, Ingram, Petrasso

Goals: Phillips 90+3 (Unassisted)

Bookings: Henry 21 (foul), Luongo 60 (foul)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 6 Booked Henry in the first half when I didn’t even think it was much of a foul, and was then pursued around the field by Darren Pratley and harangued from the touchline by Neil Lennon for the rest of the game as they attempted to Henry sent off. Having been weak in the first instance, he did well to stand up to that nonsense after half time.

Exeter City 0 Queens Park Rangers 2, Tuesday August 6, 2013, League Cup

Set pieces are another staple of a cup upset that Exeter failed to make the most of. Centre half Danny Coles scored a thumping header from a corner against Bristol Rovers in the opening league game at the weekend but the delivery on Tuesday night was poor. When referee Jeremy Simpson adjudged Alejandro Faurlin to have fouled striker Alan Gow on the edge of the QPR box just after the half hour an enticing free kick offered the home side a route back into the game. Winger Liam Sercombe had earlier fed young Jamie Reid in open play and his shot forced a comfortable parry from QPR’s stand in goalkeeper Brian Murphy but on this occasion Sercombe hoisted a mishit shot high and wide of the goal and onto the terrace of QPR fans.

Harry Redknapp meanwhile removed Alejandro Faurlin from the midfield and replaced him with Shaun Derry. This turned out to be the footballing equivalent of a bad move in Jenga and suddenly a previously sturdy QPR tower was swaying alarmingly. Already lacking pace at the back with Richard Dunne preferred to Nedum Onuoha alongside Clint Hill, Rangers suddenly found themselves unable to either maintain possession or get their team high enough up the field. A mild panic set in as the back four got sucked deeper and deeper towards Murphy’s goal. Exeter’s Davies let fly from 20 yards and rattled the cross bar; then referee Simpson waved away loud penalty appeals for a clumsy challenge by Clint Hill on John O’Flynn; and Murphy did little to calm the nerves when he scrambled around a crowded penalty area chasing the ball while leaving his goal unguarded during a melee sparked by an Exeter corner.

Exeter: Krysiak 8, Woodman 6, Baldwin 6, Coles 6, Moore-Taylor 6, Bennett 5, Sercombe 6, Doherty 5 (Davies 46, 6), Wheeler 6 (Parkin 54, 7), Gow 5 (O’Flynn 54, 6), Reid 6

Subs not used: Pyn, Dawson, Gosling, Keohane

QPR: Murphy 6, Simpson 6, Hill 6, Dunne 5, Suk-Young 6, Barton 6, Jenas 6, Faurlin 6 (Derry 63, 6), Hoilett 7 (Wright-Phillips 74, 6), Austin 7, Zamora 5 (Johnson 46, 7)

Subs not used: Green, Onuoha, Ehmer, Henry

Goals: Austin 1 (assisted Jenas), Simpson 50 (assisted Johnson)

Bookings: Hill 85 (foul)

Referee — Jeremy Simpson (Lancashire) 7 Very little to referee really because, as previously said, Exeter stood off and did little to effect the game for the first hour at least. There were none of the biting challenges and frayed tempers you usually see in a fiery cup tie, even with Mad Dog Doherty prowling round the midfield for the first half. Waved away two penalty appeals in the second half, one completely and the other because he felt it was a foul on the edge of the box rather than inside. I’ve seen neither again, and the away terrace didn’t offer a great view of the far end of the ground, but by most accounts the first one should have been given.

Stats

Seven games already for Simpson this season, 33 yellows and no reds with the six yellows he showed in our Sunderland game topping things out. Last season he finished with 128 yellows (3.65) and seven reds in 35 matches. That was led, by far, by the ten yellow cards and one red he showed in Sunderland’s 3-1 home defeat by Lincoln in League One. QPR have a 7-4-5 record from 16 games with this official, Bristol City are 7-5-5 from 17.

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