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Swarbrick returns without his puppet master - Referee
Monday, 7th Mar 2016 22:19 by Clive Whittingham

Neil Swarbrick makes a return to Loftus Road on Tuesday for the visit of Derby, but the question is will he be able to referee by himself without the help of Wayne Rooney?

Referee >>> Neil Swarbrick (Lancashire), followed QPR up from the Championship in summer 2011 but didn't endear himself to the Rangers faithful during several Premier League encounters.

Assistants >>> Scott Ledger (South Yorkshire) and Andrew Fox (Warwickshire). Ledger, randomly, was also the linesman for Swarbrick’s last Loftus Road appearance when Man Utd were the visitors.

Fourth Official >>> Simon Hooper (Wiltshire)

Previously

QPR 0 Manchester United 2, Saturday January 17, 2015, Premier League

The visitors were a complete mess at the start of this game. The amount of players out of position in a weird 3-3-2-2 set up would have made even Redknapp blush and it rendered Angel Di Maria - a wide midfielder used as a centre forward - and Juan Mata - one of two players trying to play the one ‘in the hole’ position behind the front men - completely anonymous. Wayne Rooney charged around in midfield rather than attack, concentrating more on refereeing the game for Neil Swarbrick than competing in it for his team. Centre back Phil Jones, looking and playing like a police horse post Newcastle-Sunderland match, was taking the United corners at one stage and Antonio Valencia - a winger playing full back - almost gifted QPR an opening goal by being penalised for a foul throw and then stopping to argue about it rather than file back into defensive position. Eduardo Vargas flicked the resulting loose ball over the bar.

In the end, the fans had only Neil Swarbrick's latest display of breathtaking refereeing to get them out of their seats. Pursued throughout the match by Wayne Rooney, he allowed the United captain to say and do as he pleased, and came up with some amazing moments as a result.

On the half hour Rooney used a break in play to have a prolonged, heated discussion with the official about how he felt the game was progressing. Two minutes later Rooney fouled Joey Barton on the halfway line and yet was awarded a free kick himself. Two minutes after that Vargas robbed Rooney of the ball on the edge of the United area to set up a counter attack chance but was, of course, brought back and penalised for a non-existent offence. Mauricio Isla was booked in the second half for a fair tackle and when Marcos Rojo was then also booked for hacking into the back of Bobby Zamora — as obvious a yellow card as you'll ever see — Rooney decided it was time for another break of the game and scream in the face of the official. When that free kick was headed out for a corner Swarbrick, who rather than standing in the conventional position on the far side, looking through play towards his linesman, had decided to stand on the same side of the field as his assistant so they both had the same, identical, crap view, awarded a goal kick after a prolonged pause that clearly indicated the decision was a complete piece of guesswork.

Later Valencia cleared the ball behind for a corner and threw himself to the ground in an obvious piece of play-acting — Swarbrick immediately penalised substitute Adel Taarabt for a foul which simply hadn't happened. Clint Hill was rightly booked for a daft push on Fellaini but when QPR counter attacked from the resulting free kick Rooney was allowed to chop down Vargas and then boot the ball away so a quick free kick couldn't be taken with no card being produced.

But to blame the referee in any way for the defeat would be to engage in Redknapp's favoured pass-time of blame shifting. QPR lost because they didn't capitalise on a poor Man Utd first half leaving them exposed to defeat when the visitors improved in the second. While Van Gaal's substitutions changed the game for his team, QPR's — as last week at Burnley — hindered their chances. Redknapp claimed he was pleased with Adel Taarabt at Turf Moor, but dropped him for this game only to introduce him, and Niko Kranjcar, in the second half without any apparent set positions. Indeed the Croatian's involvement seemed to be based entirely around the prospect that QPR might get a free kick on the edge of the penalty area — in open play he contributed nothing for ten minutes and his defending for the second goal does not reflect well on him.

QPR: Green 7; Isla 7, Dunne 6 (Caulker 46, 6), Onuoha 6, Hill 6; Vargas 5, Barton 6, Henry 6, Fer 5 (Taarabt 70, 6); Austin 6, Zamora 6 (Kranjcar 80, 5)

Subs not used: Ferdinand, McCarthy, Hoilett, Zarate

Bookings: Barton 40 (foul), Isla 59 (foul), Hill 81 (foul)

Man Utd: De Gea 7; Jones 5, Evans 5 (Wilson 57, 8), Rojo 6; Carrick 6, Valencia 6, Rooney 7, Blind 6, Mata 5 (Fellaini 46, 8); Di Maria 5 (Herrara 90+5, -), Falcao 5

Subs not used: Januzaj, Smalling, Valdes, McNair

Goals: Fellaini 57 (assisted Valencia), Wilson 90+3 (assisted Di Maria)

Bookings: Mata 44 (foul), Rojo 67 (foul)

Referee — Wayne Rooney (Merseyside) 7 Controlled the game well from start to finish, tirelessly scrutinising each decision and applying pressure to ensure the next one went in favour of his team. For the record, the ventriloquist's dummy with the whistle in its hand gets 3/10.

Everton 3 QPR 1, Monday December 15, 2014, Premier League
Everton’s far more understated — tattoos apart — holding midfielder Muhamed BeÅ¡ić, meanwhile, gave a perfect example of how to play the position. Straight after half time he raced into his own area to head a decent counter attack cross from Junior Hoilett over the bar with Rangers honing in on a goal to bring them back into the contest. BeÅ¡ić completely dominated the midfield, albeit with carte blanche from referee Neil Swarbrick to foul who he liked with no recourse. The outstanding performance in a match packed with midfielders who cost far more than he did. Man of the match by a street.

A blow, but not a terminal one. That came three minutes before half time. A bouncing ball on the edge of the area from poor play by Yun posed little danger until Barton intervened again: deliberately, needlessly and moronically elbowing Steven Naismith straight in the head. The Scottish international knew what his opponent had done and objected vehemently. Barton, as he always does, played the innocent. He was guilty as sin and the reward for his pure stupidity was a free kick from Kevin Mirallas that hit Vargas in the wall, wrong-footed Robert Green entirely and flew into the far corner.

Just after the hour a counter attack saw Fer breaking into space down the middle of the field, but his shot was off target under heavy pressure from BeÅ¡ić who could easily have been penalised for a foul. Earlier BeÅ¡ić had chopped down Vargas tight to the touchline for an obvious free kick that referee Swarbrick gave as an Everton throw — excellent as he clearly was, the Bosnian was given an easy ride by the match official.

It could have been four had the post not come QPR’s rescue deep into four minutes of injury time. A bad injury to Kevin Mirallas, inflicted by Jordon Mutch with a challenge he was yellow carded for, prolonged the game long enough for his replacement Kone to tee-up Eto’o, on for a lazy and ineffective Lukaku, to drive a low shot against the woodwork.

No matter. Redknapp introduced Bobby Zamora for Matt Phillips, once again well below the standard everybody expects of him, and Niko Kranjcar for Leroy Fer, the pick of a lousy midfield. Everton felt they should have had a free kick deep in the QPR half but Swarbrick made a mess of the advantage rule, allowing the Londoners to break down field. Mutch showed excellent control and drop of a shoulder to try and bend the ball around Howard and Zamora, after the American keeper turned the shot aside, tapped in his first of the season.

Everton: Howard 5; Baines 6, Jagielka 5, Distin 6, Coleman 6; Barkley 7, BeÅ¡ić 8; McGeady 5 (Pienaar 73, 6), Mirallas 6 (Kone 90, -), Naismith 7; Lukaku 5 (Eto’o 77, 6)

Subs not used: Garbutt, Alcaraz, Robles, Stones

Goals: Barkley 33 (assisted Barton), Mirallas 43 (free kick, conceded Barton), Naismith 53 (assisted Naismith)

QPR: Green 5; Isla 5, Dunne 6, Onuoha 5, Yun 5; Fer 5 (Kranjcar 77, 5), Mutch 5, Barton 4; Phillips 5 (Zamora 59, 6) Vargas 6, Hoilett 5

Subs not used: Hill, Henry, McCarthy, Feridinand, Wright-Phillips

Goals: Zamora 80 (assisted Mutch)

Bookings: Mutch 88 (foul)

Referee — Neil Swarbrick (Lancashire) 6 Little to referee really but got plenty wrong — thankfully all of it relatively inconsequential. BeÅ¡ić, brilliant as he was, was permitted to kick his way through the QPR team with no comeback including one in the first half where he hacked Vargas onto the track at the side of the pitch and an Everton throw-in was awarded. QPR’s goal should have been an Everton free kick at the other end — one of several examples of him making a mess of the advantage rule.

Watford 0 QPR 0, Sunday December 29, 2013, Championship

Predictably Redknapp’s side was mainly restricted to shots from outside the area. Kranjcar struggled to keep a sixth minute effort in the ground after Hoilett had teed him up, then shot a yard or so wide at the end of a flowing move down the right flank that ended with a neat back heal from Carroll to play the Croatian into space. Angella was booked by referee Neil Swarbrick, who really tried his best to allow a dreadful football match to flow without blowing for a lot of free kicks or handing out a slew of cards, for sliding into Kranjcar as Watford, despite fielding three centre backs to mark no strikers, struggled to track Kranjcar in deep lying positions.

While Phillips was certainly trying, and on the odd occasion succeeding, to make a significant attacking impact, Junior Hoilett was having one of those days where he couldn’t find his own substantial arse with both hands. Possession was conceded and poor decisions made as a matter of routine — a hospital pass into the centre circle set Joey Barton up for a foul on George Thorne that couldn’t possibly have been anything other than a yellow card - and it was no surprise to see him hooked for Armand Traore with ten still to play. Hoilett started the season in the kind of form everybody expected of him when he arrived from Blackburn, but once again this season he seems to be struggling with self-belief, confidence and decision making. If we hadn’t seen, with our own eyes, how good he could be on occasions for Rovers before arriving here the obvious conclusion would be that he’s simply not very good — and the longer this goes on, the more likely it becomes that this might actually turn out to be the case.

Watford, for their part, introduced Javier Acuña for Diego Fabbrini but his sole contribution was a foul on Barton five minutes after coming on that drew the game’s fourth yellow card. A tepid shot by Sean Murray, allegedly a transfer target for Rangers,that bounced into Green’s arms was as interesting as it got for the final 20 minutes of a wretched encounter. The gents in front of us had a conversation about the funniest episode of Jim’ll Fix It while to our right a hornet mascot that didn’t even look as big as a real hornet banged a drum relentlessly, drawing zero response from a tired, bored, cold crowd of people wondering what on earth they’d wasted their time and money on this dross for. A lone voice in the background sang “my mate Rob Green’s, got nothing to do” and demanded Zamora be introduced for Dunne before laughing himself into a coughing fit.

Watford: Almunia 6; Doyley 6, Cassetti 6, Ekstrand 7; Bellerin 6, Angella 6, Thorne 6, Murray 6 (Battocchio 87, -), McGugan 6; Deeney 6, Fabbrini 6 (Acuña 75, 5)

Subs not used: McEachran, Iriney, Bond, O’Nien

Bookings: Angella 38 (foul), Acuña 80 (foul)

QPR: Green 6; Simpson 6, Dunne 6, Onuoha 7, Assou-Ekotto 7; Phillips 6, Benayoun 6 (O’Neil 73, 6), Carroll 5 (Johnson 71, 6), Barton 6, Kranjcar 6, Hoilett 5 (Traore 79, 6)

Subs not used: Henry, Zamora, Murphy, Sendels-White

Bookings: Phillips 61 (foul), Barton 65 (foul)

Referee — Neil Swarbrick (Lancashire) 8 Set his stall out early by letting a series of niggly fouls go without so much as a free kick, which aided the flow of the game. All the bookings were correct and overall I thought he controlled things very well. You can’t polish a turd at the end of the day, and he did his best.

Swansea 4 QPR 1, Saturday February 9, 2013, Premier League

Taarabt threw his arms in the air, but in frustration and exasperation rather than arrogance as has maybe been the case in the past. At the end of the first half he was lucky to only be booked after an altercation with Jonathan De Guzman, although referee Neil Swarbrick had sparked the incident by harshly penalising the QPR man in the first place.

In small defence of Samba he'd been tiptoeing around on a yellow card from the tenth minute when Swarbrick amazingly decided that a shoulder charge challenge on Michu was not only worth a free kick, but warranted a yellow card as well. But overall it was amazing how little difference the Congo centre half made to Rangers here.

The only time Rangers did really compete was just before the hour when, enraged by Swarbrick inexplicably failing to spot centre half Williams raising his right arm and fisting a cross away from deep inside his own penalty area, the R’s then refused to kick the ball out so Hernandez could be treated at the far end of the field. The referee should have awarded the penalty, and could have then stopped the play for the injury, but played on through both summing up a poor individual performance first and foremost, and then a cavalier attitude to game management. Sure enough a slew of nasty tackles flew in one after the other until, within the space of a minute, he'd lost control of the game entirely. That Mbia had a shot cleared from the line immediately after Williams’ unspotted indiscretion only made things harder to bear for the visitors.

Swansea: Vorm 5, Rangel 7, Chico 6 (Bartley 33, 6), Williams 7, Davies 7, De Guzman 7, Ki 6, Hernandez 7, Dyer 7, Routledge 7 (Agustien 62, 6), Michu 8 (Moore 80, -)

Subs not used: Tremmel, Tiandalli, Lamah, Shechter

Goals: Michu 8 (assiste Dyer), 67 (assisted Hernandez), Rangel 18 (assisted Routledge), Hernandez 50 (assisted Michu)

Bookings: Davies 45 (foul)

QPR: Cesar 4, Onuoha 3, Samba 3, Hill 3, Traore 3, Derry 3 (Granero 46, 6), Jenas 3 (Wright-Phillips 69, 6), Mbia 4, Townsend 5, Mackie 4 (Zamora 46, 7), Taarabt 5

Subs not used: Green, Ben Haim, Park, Bothroyd

Goals: Zamora 48 (assisted Taarabt)

Bookings: Samba 9 (foul), Taarabt 39 (foul) Traore 45 (foul)

Referee — Neil Swarbrick (Lancashire) 3 Not a referee who has adapted to the demands of the Premier League terribly well in my opinion. Very harshly yellow carded Samba after nine minutes, then allowed a load of similar challenges to go unpunished before suddenly booking two players in first half stoppage time. His biggest decision in the game was the QPR penalty appeal which he got wrong and he quickly allowed that situation to escalate into one where a Swansea player was down injured and nasty tackles were flying in left and right as a result. Big decisions wrong, game management poor, lack of consistency in decision making — impossible to give a particularly high mark those things considered.

Aston Villa 2 QPR 2, Wednesday February 1, 2012, Premier League

Referee Neil Swarbrick isn’t exactly flavour of the month down at Loftus Road these days. His decision to send off Joey Barton for a meagre clash with Bradley Johnson in a home game with Norwich at the turn of the year when he hadn’t actually seen the incident topped a truly dreadful all round performance from the match officials in that game and, although the red card was ridiculously upheld on appeal, Swarbick has spent the last month in the lower leagues. To appoint him straight back to a QPR game on his return to the top flight seemed like a crass decision to me and he didn’t exactly cover himself in glory in this match.

In the penalty box though it was Villa who had cause to be annoyed with the officials. They appealed loudly for a potential handball against Jamie Mackie ten minutes before half time but Swarbrick showed no interest in awarding a penalty. That was soon forgotten a minute before half time when my pre-match fears about Robbie Keane finding space to hurt QPR between the straight midfield and defensive line came true and the home team halved the deficit at the worst possible time from Mark Hughes’ point of view.

Having failed to make it to half time without conceding the next task was to get through what was sure to be a hairy first ten minutes of the second half without Villa equalising. As expected the home side emerged from the extra wide Villa Park tunnel with renewed purpose at the start of the second period and drew the first yellow card of the game from Neil Swarbrick for a Luke Young foul on Charles N’Zogbia.

That foray downfield was rare respite for Hughes’ men. The manager took off Rob Hulse and replaced him with Tommy Smith early on in the half but although Hulse hadn’t had a particularly brilliant game that only served to remove a physical presence from the QPR attack, place more work and demands on the shoulders of Djibril Cisse who quickly tired, and prevented the ball from sticking in the Villa half to relieve the pressure on the QPR back line. A strange decision from Hughes, surely fitness related, and one that was immediately preceded by another Villa chance when Warnock cut the ball back into the area, Clark shot and Derry appeared to block the goalbound effort away with his forearm. This was the third handball appeal of the game from Villa, and by far the most vociferous, but Swarbrick was again unmoved.

Swarbrick was involved again moments later, waving an advantage through a meagre foul on Robbie Keane on the edge of the box and then bringing the play back for the set piece when Keane subsequently got the ball trapped beneath his feet and took a fresh air shot at it. Kenny saved the resulting free kick and that’s all well and good, as long as the rules are applied equally to both teams. Sadly a short time later Wright-Phillips was clearly chopped down on the halfway line by Ireland , an advantage was played but quickly lost and Swarbrick failed to return to the original free kick in the same we he had done for Keane. Another wave of Villa attack flowed forward while QPR complained and Kenny produced a nervy one handed save from Keane after he’d been allowed to advance into the area. Onuoha was in the right place at the right time to clear the rebound away with Bent lurking.

Swarbrick advertised four minutes of added time and played three and a half, enough time for N’Zogbia to lash another shot towards goal and Taiwo this time to stick his head in the way and deny Villa a late winner.

Villa: Given 6, Hutton 7, Cuellar 6, Dunne 6, Warnock 5, Clark 6 (Bannan 70, 6), Ireland 6, Petrov 7, N’Zogbia 7, Keane 7, Bent 7

Subs not used: Guzan, Lichaj, Baker, Gardner, Heskey, Weimann

Goals: Bent 44 (assisted Hutton), N’Zogbia 80 (assisted Petrov)

QPR: Kenny 7, Young 6, Onuoha 6, Ferdinand 6, Taiwo 5, Mackie 5, Derry 5 (Ephraim 73, 6), Barton 6, Wright-Phillips 6, Cisse 7 (Macheda 81, -), Hulse 6 (Smith 54, 6)

Subs not used: Cerny, Hill, Hall, Balanta

Goals: Cisse 11 (assisted Wright-Phillips), Warnock og 22 (assisted Taiwo)

Bookings: Young (foul)

Referee — Neil Swarbrick 4 Whichever way you look at his performance here, it cannot possibly be judged as being any good. If you want to focus on the big decisions, he got them wrong. Shaun Derry definitely blocked Petrov’s second half shot with a hand raised high above his head for an obvious penalty. If you want to talk about even and fair application of the rules then compare the free kick awarded to Robbie Keane after an advantage had initially been played, with the incident where Shaun Wright-Phillips was chopped down but received no free kick as an advantage had been played. QPR received just three free kicks here in 95 minutes of football while Villa were given 12. Very poor again.

QPR 1 Norwich 2, Monday January 2, 2012, Premier League

Referee Neil Swarbrick may like to take a moment this week to quietly contemplate one of the first things he’ll have been told having walked through the door of his very first refereeing course: “You can only give what you’ve seen.” Deviation from that golden rule can leave officials looking stupid, and that’s exactly what Swarbrick and his assistant David Richardson looked here.

Joey Barton had already given the team he now captains a deserved early lead when he found himself first kicked across the heals by Norwich’s Bradley Johnson and then shoved in the back by his team mate Zak Whitbread as the trio attempted to become involved in another QPR counter attack. Barton squared up to Johnson and the pair exchanged verbals as play went on around them. When Luke Youngthen appealed for a man to pass to Barton provided an option and was allowed to continue with play while Johnson checked his face in back play in a display of fakery worthy of the Globe Theatre. Both officials were happy for play to continue, with QPR in possession, at this stage and Barton was then kicked high into the air by Elliott Bennett for a clear free kick to the home team.

What happened next only Swarbrick will be able to explain, and he’ll have to do just that after QPR rightly appealed the outrageous decision he and Richardson reached. Barton was red carded for what the referee indicated at the time was a head butt, later discretely changed to an intended head butt, and replays showed was nowhere close to either. A head butt, or attempted head butt, so severe that both officials who claimed to have seen it were happy initially for QPR to play on with possession.

But the action was beset with warning signs. Elliott Bennett fell dramatically to ground after a quarter of an hour and was rewarded with a free kick which Whitbred headed over. Having retreated back to his own half Whitbred then aggressively challenged Helguson from behind under a high ball and play on was waved. Grant Holt was on hand for regular meetings with the officials almost every occasion the ball went out of play. Even the goal had been preceded by a Whitbred foul on Helguson on the edge of the area that referee Neil Swarbrick had ignored.

Then, after 19 minutes, Bradley Johnson had a weak shot saved by Kenny and QPR broke across halfway. Recognising danger Simon Lappin cynically and deliberately hacked Barton down in the centre circle. Play was rightly waved on, QPR had been sinned against but maintained possession in an attacking situation, but when it drew to a close referee Swarbrick settled for giving the defender a mild ticking off. It was a yellow card all day, all night, all weekend long. In the second half Heidar Helguson was booked for a less serious offence while Wright-Phillips was carded for an identical one.

Once play resumed Simeon Jackson scooped a presentable chance wide from eight yards out afterAnton Ferdinand had been caught too deep playing everybody onside. But it was the officiating occupying minds and tempers. Bennett fell theatrically again, again a free kick was awarded. Helguson was fouled by Whtibread again, again nothing was given. Swarbrick was now too busy warning Paddy Kenny about time wasting every time he failed to deliver a goal kick within three seconds of the ball going behind to notice anything else. QPR were growing frustrated, Norwich were starting to realise they could pretty much do as they pleased. A flashpoint was coming.

Ten minutes before half time disaster struck — for QPR as a whole, and the referee as an individual with career aspirations. QPR snuffed out a Norwich attack and moved away down the left through Faurlin, already though trouble was brewing out on the right where first Whitbread with his arm and then Johnson with his foot had lashed out at Joey Barton as he crossed the halfway line. Barton squared up to Johnson as play went on around the pair but neither the linesman nor the referee saw anything in the confrontation worthy of stopping play for — presumably had either seen an offence from Barton then play would have been stopped and a free kick awarded to the visitors. Instead QPR, first with Young and then through Barton himself, were able to play on and construct the attack which had by now switched to the right. Play ended when Bennett hacked Barton down and from that point on chaos reigned.

Two Norwich players went immediately to the referee while Grant Holt, some 40 yards away initially and of no relevance to the situation whatsoever, flew across the field to deliver his verdict to both Swarbrick and his assistant referee David Richardson. The QPR fans bayed for Johnson’s blood for his deliberate kick out at Barton off the ball. Swarbrick and Richardson locked themselves in discussion.

Now one can only imagine what was said between the two. Presumably, given that Swarbrick quickly returned to the field and sent Barton off, the conversation concluded with them deciding that although Swarbrick hadn’t seen anything worth stopping a QPR attack and awarding a Norwich free kick for initially, and although Richardson hadn’t seen anything worth stopping a QPR attack and awarding a Norwich free kick for initially, what had actually happened was that a QPR player had headbutted a Norwich player and they had in fact seen it after all.

Far more likely than that ludicrous scenario is that they both saw some sort of coming together, they then saw Bradley Johnson holding his nose, they then noticed it was Joey Barton whose past record is extensive and they guessed. They broke the golden rule of refereeing — you can only give what you have seen. Neither of them saw it, otherwise they would have awarded a Norwich free kick and sent Barton off immediately. They deduced, on the balance of probability and wrongly as it turned out, that a Norwich player wouldn’t be holding his nose if nobody had touched it and that Joey Barton is the type to do something like that.

Johnson is a cheat and should be retrospectively dealt with as such, and the referee should be struck off immediately for gross misconduct. There is no excuse for the behaviour of either. They should both be thoroughly ashamed and embarrassed.

For Barton, who dived pathetically to get Gervinho sent off while he was playing for Newcastle against Arsenal back in August, I’m afraid this is a case of ‘live by the sword, die by the sword’ and Neil Warnock’s post match assertion that Barton wouldn’t have reacted in the same way as Johnson is plainly incorrect — because he in fact reacted a lot worse in that Arsenal game.

Credit though is hard to award in such circumstances and the half concluded in typical fashion. A ball knocked forward by Norwich found Shaun Derry standing stock still in the middle of his own half. Grant Holt ran towards Derry , launched himself from a distance of three yards and collapsed on the ground behind him like a dying swan under literally no contact at all. Swarbrick, who’d spent the half ignoring increasing physical assaults on QPR’s own target man Heidar Helguson at the other end, quickly awarded a free kick to Derry’s clear astonishment.

Seven minutes after half time the home side came within an inch of taking the lead. Miraculously, astonishingly, it came from a free kick. That’s right, Swarbrick finally awarded them one. Great play by Adel Taarabt developed an attack on the edge of the area that ended when Ayala kicked through the back of Faurlin and, wonders never cease, received a yellow card for his troubles. Taarabt took the free kick himself, expertly flighting it over the wall and towards the uncovered bottom right hand corner. Ruddy did brilliantly to scramble across the full width of his goal and plant fingertips on the ball, successfully diverting it onto the inside of the post and back into play. Like I say, a lethal combination of not very good and not very lucky.

In the past three games QPR have conceded a goal at Swansea after Danny Graham was allowed to bring the ball down with the palm of his hand because, in Lee Probert’s opinion, he didn’t mean to do it. They have then conceded a goal at Arsenal when they should have been lining up for an attacking corner because Martin Atkinson and his assistant didn’t see the incident and guessed wrongly that it was a goal kick. And now they have lost here because Neil Swarbrick and David Richardson didn’t see an incident and guessed as well based on player reaction and reputation. Throw in Stuart Attwell’s nonsense sending off in the Arsenal v Wolves game, outrageously upheld on appeal which doesn’t exactly bode well for Barton’s chances in this instance, and it hasn’t been the finest Christmas period for QPR or the refereeing fraternity.

QPR: Kenny 6, Young 7, Ferdinand 7, Gabbidon 6, Hill 6, Derry 6, Faurlin 6, Barton 6, Taarabt 7 (Campbell 85, -), Mackie 5 (Wright-Phillips 46, 7), Helguson 6 (Macheda 80, -)

Subs Not Used: Cerny, Orr, Connolly, Hulse

Sent Off: Barton 36 (“attempted headbutt”)

Booked: Helguson (foul), Wright-Phillips (foul)

Goals: Barton 11 (assisted Hill)

Norwich: Ruddy 7, Martin 6, Whitbread 7, Ayala 7, Drury 6 (Fox 66, 6), Bennett 6, Johnson 6, Lappin 6 (Hoolahan 66, 6), Pilkington 7, Holt 7 (Morison 66, 7), Jackson 6

Subs Not Used: Rudd, Surman, Wilbraham, Naughton

Booked: Ayala (foul)

Goals: Pilkington 42 (unassisted), Morison 83 (assisted Bennett)

Referee: Neil Swarbrick ( Lancashire ) 0 A LoftforWords first: a zero. We’ve never had one for a player or official before in my seven years on the site. Referee marks on here are judged largely on the big decisions, and of course Neil Swarbrick would have therefore been facing a low mark regardless because the big decision of the match was wrong. But to give a big decision with a guess, having not seen the incident, reduces him to a zero. What my girlfriend knows about football can be written on the back of postage stamp with a thick pen, but even she could stand in the middle of the pitch and guess decisions if you asked her to. How can a player be sent off for a head butt if play has been waved on with his team in possession? Perhaps a competent performance apart from the Barton incident may have elevated him to a two or three but he couldn’t even muster that. The difference in the way he refereed Holt and Helguson was bordering on corrupt. How was Lappin given the benefit of the doubt for his hack on Barton in the first half and then Wright-Phillips booked for the same thing in the second, and Helguson booked for a lot less? A performance that should have him considering his future in the game. Abject at best, scandalous at worst.

Watford 0 QPR 2, Saturday April 30, 2011, Championship

Within 60 seconds the R’s were on the attack again with Taarabt claiming a generous free kick award from referee Neil Swarbrick but then sending his delivery harmlessly through to Loach.

And when Faurlin gave Shittu a suicide ball on halfway five minutes later Watford hustled him out of possession and sent Sordell through on goal for a cool finish but female assistant referee Sian Massey flagged for offside. Moments later she infuriated Watford manager Malky Mackay by failing to spot that Wayne Routledge was two yards over the touchline when he retrieved a loose ball and allowed him to play on — although in Massey’s defence Mackay’s tendency to stand right on the touchline she was trying to officiate probably didn’t help her line of vision.

Rangers had not coped at all well with Watford’ quick throw ins and set pieces to this point, mainly through visible lapses in concentration, and the ball boys tardiness in returning the ball to Smith gave QPR a chance to put a stop to it. Smith, Derry and other QPR players made a point of going to referee Swarbrick and asking him why Watford were being allowed to start the game within seconds of it stopping while QPR had to wait, conveniently just until the Watford defence is set, to get on with it themselves. This disagreement soon started to boil over with Taarabt and Eustace getting involved, and then an extended conference between referee and managers down on the touchline.

When play did finally resume, after a bumbling few moments of chaos, Shaun Derry sent a bouncing bomb shot from the edge of the area wide of the post by a good six feet with Loach happy to watch it go on its way. It now looks like Derry will finish the season without a senior goal to his name — few players at QPR deserve one more this season so maybe he’ll take a penalty next week if we get one.

Having successfully calmed everybody down after the multi-ball row Swarbrick then allowed the game to escape from his grasp momentarily. John Eustace stopped mid-move to stand on the halfway line and scream at the referee for a free kick he felt he should have had but didn’t get. Then, possibly to even things up for that, the referee allowed robust fouls on Derry and then Faurlin to go unpunished before the visitors were finally awarded a free kick for a late challenge on Gorkss. The aftermath looked like a scene from Platoon, with bodies strewn around the park and the referee relived that his momentary loss of control hadn’t resulted in a serious injury no doubt.

Watford: Loach 6, Hodson 6, Taylor 7 (Bennett 54, 5), Mariappa 7, Doyley 6, Eustace 7, Cowie 6, Deeney 7, Buckley 6 (Murray 78, 6), Graham 6, Sordell 6 (Whichelow 73, 6)

Subs Not Used: Gilmartin, Mingoia, Drinkwater, Assombalonga

QPR: Cerny 6, Orr 7, Hall 6 (Shittu 23, 8), Gorkss 7, Connolly 7, Derry 7, Faurlin 7, Taarabt 7 (Ramage 90, -), Routledge 7 (Buzsaky 75, 8), Smith 7, Helguson 7

Subs Not Used: Agyemang, Hulse, Ephraim, Moen

Goals: Taarabt 77 (assisted Smith), Smith 90 (assisted Faurlin)

Referee: Neil Swarbrick (Lancashire) 7 There was a five minute period in the second half where first there was an argument over the multiball system, then Taarabt got involved in a skirmish, and then the referee allowed three clear fouls to go unpunished in quick succession, that I thought he was losing control. However, for the other 85 minutes I thought he did a very good job and is becoming known to me as a bit of a safe pair of hands in this division. May well be destined for the Premiership.

Coventry 0 QPR 2, Tuesday December 28, 2010, Championship

Heidar Helguson may have been one man you could have reasonably expected to be on the end of Walker’s service but he injected himself into the game more forcefully two minutes later when he clashed with McPake under an aerial ball, leaving the Coventry man flat out on the turf and the City players surrounding referee Neil Swarbrick imploring him to produce a red card for the use of an elbow. Having seen Jermaine Defoe sent off for something very similar already this Christmas my heart was in my mouth somewhat as the referee reached for his card — fortunately it was only yellow and Helguson was allowed to continue.

Pierluigi Collina, widely recognised as one of the greatest referees there has ever been, has said the way to tell if the use of an elbow is done deliberately to hurt an opponent, or simply by accident in the course of jumping for the ball, is to look at the player’s hand. If the palm is open, it’s an accident, if the fist is clenched, it’s deliberate and a red card offence. Helguson’s palm was open so the decision was a fair one.

Then Faurlin tripped Carsley and was very harshly booked by the referee, despite it being a nothing foul in the middle of the field and Faurlin’s first offence of the game. The Coventry fans had reacted angrily to McSheffrey’s yellow card ten minutes previously and I felt this was a real evener from the referee, who had Carsley chipping away at him all afternoon. Warnock was understandably and typically furious on the touchline while the card was being handed out. Carsley himself volleyed high over the bar after the resulting free kick had been cleared to the edge of the box.

Hill was rather less assured in the sixty eighth minute when a low cross from McSheffrey was missed by Platt at the near post and then shuffled back to Paddy Kenny by Hill who appeared to touch the ball in the six yard box but no back pass decision was forthcoming from referee Neil Swarbrick, who really needed some help from his assistant on that side of the field to give the decision.

Coventry: Westwood 5, Keogh 5, McPake 6 (Eastwood 87, -), Cameron 7, Wood 5 (O'Halloran 70, 5), Bell 5 (Wilson 71, 4), Carsley 6, Doyle 6, McSheffrey 7, King 6, Platt 4

Subs Not Used: Ireland , Jutkiewicz, Cranie, Baker

Booked: McSheffrey (foul)

QPR: Kenny 8, Walker 8, Connolly 7, Gorkss 7, Hill 7, Derry 7, Faurlin 7, Mackie 6, Taarabt 7 (Rowlands 84, -), Smith 7 (Clarke 80, 6),Helguson 6 (Orr 89, -)

Subs Not Used: Cerny, Agyemang, Hulse, Tofas

Booked: Helguson (foul), Faurlin (foul)

Goals: Westwood 49 og (assisted Walker), Smith 61 (assisted Taarabt)

Referee: Neil Swarbrick ( Lancashire ) 8 Kept a lid on a potentially very difficult match impressively. Faurlin’s booking I disagreed with, and Kenny was lucky to get away with picking up a clear back pass in the second half, but otherwise I cannot recall a decision that was wrong or worth disagreeing with.

QPR 1 Sheffield United 1, Saturday, December 19, 2009

Stewart picked up the game first yellow card for a crude challenge on Ward, who was certainly fouled on that occasion but hit the deck very easily on several others, but United could not deliver from wide areas with the same quality as a moment before.

Things may have been better had Simpson been playing up front with Agyemang instead of wide on the right. The potential of that partnership shone through with 25 minutes left for play when Agyemang knocked a ball down for Simpson who seemed to be clearly and obviously hacked down in the six yard box by Morgan but no penalty was forthcoming. That typified a poor display from referee Neil Swarbrick for me — any big decisions such as cards or penalty appeals were ignored altogether, and I lost count of the number of times he clearly and obviously guessed at a decision. Twice right underneath my seat in the F Block he had no idea whether it was a corner or a goal kick, both times the decisions went Sheffield United’s way, both times they were complete guesses. That, and his failure to adequately punish Sheff Utd’s obvious time wasting tactics, or add on sufficient time for them at the end, add up to a poor day all round for the official.

That lack of a penalty award could have been exacerbated had Walker not fired over into the Sheff Utd fans in the School End who were by this point having an almighty row with a gang of stewards and police in the upper tier.

Another presentable free kick on the edge of the area was struck into the wall by Watson, Morgan was booked for the challenge on Agyemang this time but as the ball stayed out he will feel the ends justified the means.

Three minutes of time was added on at the end of the match, an astonishingly small amount of time given the time wasting that United had flagrantly engaged in for the entire half, and QPR were almost able to natch a scarcely deserved winner with virtually the last kick of the game. Routledge sent in a beautiful cross from the right and Ben Watson guided a near post header onto the top of the cross bar with Bunn well beaten. The goalkeeper then made a big point of chasing his defenders down the pitch in mock rage at their efforts and this latest cynical attempt to run the clock down was punished with the third yellow card of the game. Sadly as Mr Swarbrick had ludicrously only added three minutes onto the end of the game and as Bunn is unlikely to be booked five times this season and suspended this was barely punishment at all and in fact the keeper still wasted a further half minute retrieving the ball and taking the kick even after the booking. The Sheffield United players, frankly, took the piss out of a weak minded official on Saturday and got exactly what they wanted.

It wasn’t the referee or the time wasting that prevented QPR from winning this game though, it was our own inability to see the blindingly obvious. Sheff Utd are a good, solid team in this division but they are not some unbeatable, dominant force for us to fear. We made life really difficult for ourselves on Saturday — firstly by gifting them an equaliser, secondly by sticking with a bizarre and ineffective system that included at least three players out of position at all times and thirdly by then launching long balls down the field towards Agyemang who couldn’t beat Kilgallon and Morgan in the air if you offered him a million quid and gave him a thousand attempts at it.

QPR: Cerny 6, Ramage 5, Stewart 6, Gorkss 7, Williams 7, Routledge 6, Leigertwood 6, Watson 5, Simpson 5 (Vine 68, 3), Taarabt 6, Agyemang 6

Subs Not Used: Taylor, Hall, Pellicori, Faurlin, Balanta, Parker

Booked: Stewart (foul)

Goals: Leigertwood 2 (unassisted)

Sheff Utd: Bunn 6, Stewart 7, Kilgallon 7, Morgan 7, Walker 7, Montgomery 7, Quinn 8, Kallio 6, Harper 6, Cresswell 6, Ward 7

Subs Not Used: Bennett , France , Evans, Reid, Little, Geary, Camara.

Booked: Morgan (foul), Bunn (time wasting)

Goals: Cresswell 8 (assisted Halford)

Referee: Neil Swarbrick ( Lancashire ) 4 Failed to either produce yellow cards or add on sufficient time for the blatant time wasting. Missed an obvious penalty for a challenge on Jay Simpson. Guessed a ridiculous amount of decisions through the game. Largely kept the cards in his pockets and wasn’t overly fussy which is a positive but overall this was a poor performance.

QPR 0 Sheffield United 0, Saturday March 7, 2009

In a scrappy start to the game it was the physios of both teams involved in the action more than anybody else early on. Damion Stewart and Jordi Lopez clashed heads in the centre circle but were forced to try and get back into position as referee Neil Swarbrick showed crass ignorance of the rules and waved play on. As soon as play came to a halt, luckily without a United goal, both players hit the deck again and required lengthy treatment while Swarbrick apologised to their team mates for not stopping the play. All very well holding your hands up and apologising but QPR could easily have fallen behind with only nine players able to participate when it is generally accepted that play must be stopped for head injuries.

For their part United picked up a couple of early knocks as well including one to midfielder Brian Howard who hit the deck theatrically under minimal challenge from Jordi Lopez. After initially laying motionless and apparently in absolute agony on the ground Howard made a miraculous recovery when he realised he had not been awarded a free kick and was even able to remonstrate with the referee about alleged use of an elbow by the QPR man. Swarbrick rightly ignored his pathetic whining and ordered him to the touchline — the irony of a player in a side captained by Chris Morgan, a former team mate of Iain Hume as well, moaning about the use of an elbow certainly was not lost on the supporters around me in F Block.

Every Sheff Utd injury, QPR tackle or incident of any sorts really brought United’s ginger midfielder Stephen Quinn scurrying across to volley abuse at any opposition players or match officials within ear shot. Perhaps had Quinn and Howard spent as much time with the ball at his feet as they did with their mouths open United’s midfield would not have been so dull and lacking invention on the day.

QPR: Cerny 8, Connolly 7, Stewart 6, Gorkss 6, Delaney 5, Lopez 6, Leigertwood 5 (Ephraim 81, -), Miller 5 (Alberti 54, 4), Routledge 6, Di Carmine 5 (Balanta 76, 6), Blackstock 6

Subs Not Used: Mahon , Hall

Booked: Stewart (foul)

Sheff Utd: Kenny 8, Naughton 7, Naysmith 6, Morgan 5, Kilgallon 5, Howard 5 (Ward 59, 6), Quinn 5, Halford 7, Montgomery 6, Henderson 6 (O'Toole 81, -), Webber 6 (Beattie 68, 6)

Subs Not Used: Lupoli, Bromby

Referee: Neil Swarbrick ( Lancashire ) 6 Not too bad but missed a fair bit of physical contact from both teams that should have brought free kicks. Quinn was very lucky not to be booked for backchatting after spending the whole afternoon mouthing off, likewise Howard. Almost cost QPR a goal in the first half by playing on when there were two head injuries. Average performance I would say.

QPR 2 Barnsley 1, Saturday August 9, 2008

The first action of real note was a very bad foul by Bobby Hassell on Gavin Mahon in the first minute. Any later in the game and this would surely have drawn a booking from referee Neil Swarbrick who, although very kind to QPR throughout the match in my opinion, did let Barnsley off with one or two naughty challenges in the first half hour.

Just before the hour mark the game should have been put to bed. More terrific work from Ledesma down the right ended with a beautiful lobbed pass into the area behind the Barnsley defence. Dexter Blackstock brought the ball down well and raced in behind his man only for Darren Moore to come across with a covering tackle that cleaned the QPR man out right in front of the Loft End. It looked like a bit of a swan dive from Blackstock to me at the time but the replays show the referee to be right, Moore was wild, late and reckless and got nowhere near the ball — a stone wall penalty. Surprisingly it was Fitz Hall that stepped up to take the kick — Iain Dowie has since insisted he wasn’t hat trick hunting, he was the designated penalty taker. Even if that was the case, and I’m not sure it was, a tame penalty easily saved by Steele down to his right should surely mean Emmanuel Ledesma will be taking the next one.

Suddenly the R’s started to pass the ball and keep possession, this enabled the defence to push out higher down the field and the team had a much more settled and composed look about it. Parejo was involved in the game sealing moment ten minutes after coming on. Barnsley’s Marciano Van Hoemet carried the ball out of his own half in the 83rd minute but Parejo tripped him as he ran past. For whatever reason Swarbrick didn’t blow for a foul and when the loose ball found its way back to Parejo off Macken Van Hoemet lost his head and lunged in with a disgusting tackle that caught the young Spaniard right in the back of his knee. It was a sickening tackle, probably the worst we’ll see all season, and the red card was quickly shown to the Dutchman who left the field after a lengthy protest. Of course Swarbrick had no choice but to send him off but had he given Barnsley the free kick they deserved in the first place it would never have happened.

QPR: Cerny 6, Ramage 6, Hall 7, Gorkss 6, Delaney 6, Ledesma 7 (Alberti 83, -), Mahon 7, Leigertwood 6, Cook 6, Agyemang 5 (Parejo 72, 7), Blackstock 5

Subs Not Used: Camp, Connolly, Balanta

Booked: Cook (foul)

Goals: Hall 29 (assisted Ledesma), 31 (assisted Cook)

Barnsley: Steele 7, Devaney 7, Moore 6, Foster 6, Hassell 6 (Leon 85, -), De Silva 6, Howard 6, Van Homoet 6, Hume 7, Macken 4 (Odejayi 85, -), El Haimour 5 (Rigters 75, 6)

Subs Not Used: Kozluk, Mostto

Sent Off: Van Homoet (83) (serious foul play)

Goals: Hume 5 (assisted Howard)

Referee: Neil Swarbrick (Lancashire) 5 - The Barnsley fans and players seemed to be irate with him in the second half and I can understand why, we’d have been screaming blue murder in their position. I didn’t think it was a penalty at the time but replays suggest that was the correct decision, likewise the sending off, but he seemed to be very kind to QPR for most of the game to me and bought a lot of the play acting from Ledesma when he really should have played on. The sending off also wouldn’t have happened had he given Barnsley the free kick they deserved a few seconds before, and that in turn wouldn’t have happened had he given a foul that Mahon deserved ten seconds before all of that. Having said that he booked Cook for a foul no worse than three previous Barnsley ones that had gone unpunished. Not great.

Sheff Wed 2 QPR 1, Saturday March 8, 2008

The teams exchanged bookings around the 75 minute mark as Damion Stewart chopped down McAllister and Tudgay incurred the wrath of the referee for kicking the ball away.

As the game entered three minutes of added on time it descended into a complete farce. Sheffield Wednesday were running the clock down in the corner and won a free kick when Songo’o hit the deck. This seemed to rile a few of the QPR players, it certainly wasn’t the first time in the game that Songo’o had done a dying swan act and just six minutes earlier he’d collapsed to the floor and earned Damien Delaney a booking which was perhaps the source of all the ill-feeling in the closing stages. From the free kick Ephraim went steaming in with a ridiculous challenge on the Frenchman that included a forearm smash into his chin. Once the resulting melee had died down he was sent off. By this stage Martin Rowlands was flying into the crowd of players and Lee Camp had to fish him out, Stewart, Delaney and Connolly were there as well and ultimately the referee made the sensible decision to bring the game to a close. Songo’o was ushered off the pitch by his team mates but several QPR players seemed keen to have another word and the disagreements and scuffles continued as they bundled en masse into the tunnel.

Sheff Wed: Grant 7, Hinds 5, Beevers 7, Wood 7, Spurr 5, Kavanagh 8, Small 6 (O'Brien 90, -), Wallwork 3 (McAllister 40, 6), Songo'o 7, Tudgay 7, Showumni 4 (Burton 40, 8)

Subs Not Used: Burch, Boden

Booked: Tudgay (foul)

Goals: Kavanagh 45 (assisted Songo’o), Burton 52 pen (assisted McAllister)

QPR: Camp 5, Delaney 6, Stewart 6, Mancienne 6, Connolly 6, Rowlands 6, Leigertwood 5 (Mahon 66, 7), Buzsaky 5 (Balanta 75, 6), Blackstock 6, Agyemang 5, Vine 7 (Ephraim 63, 4)

Subs Not Used: Pickens, Rehman

Sent Off: Ephraim (90) (violent conduct)

Booked: Stewart (foul), Delaney (foul)

Goals: Delaney 15 (assisted Vine)

Referee: Neil Swarbrick ( Lancashire ) 7 - Seemed to referee the game very well to me, both the penalty decision and the red card were the correct decisions. Thought he could have handled the stoppage time situation a little better, he allowed it to degenerate into a farce by the corner flag and needed to take better control which could easily have been done by warning Songo’o over his play acting earlier in the game. No excuse for what Ephraim did though and he deserves his three match ban.

QPR 1 Ipswich 1, Saturday October 20, 2007

At the Loft End Vine sent a first time volley wide from the edge of the area after good work and a nice cross from the right by Ephraim. Vine possibly had time to take a touch but had he connected cleanly and sent the ball into the bottom corner we wouldn't have been complaining. Adam Bolder was denied a penalty in the last QPR attack of the game when he claimed he'd been pulled back but from where I was sitting it looked like he fell over his own feet and went down very easily.

QPR Camp 7, Mancienne 6 (Nygaard 55, 7), Stewart 7, Cranie 8, Barker 5, Ainsworth 6 (Moore 67, N/A), Bolder 6, Leigertwood 8, Rowlands 6, Ephraim 6, Vine 7.

Subs Not Used: Cole, Bignot, Jarrett

Booked: Vine (foul)

Goals: Nygaard 73 (assisted Vine)

Ipswich Alexander 7, Wright 7, Wilnis 8, De Vos 7, Harding 6, Walters 5, Garvan 6, Legwinski 8, Miller 7 (Roberts 32, 7), Clarke 7 (Haynes 80, 7) Lee 7 (Counago 85, -)

Subs Not Used: Supple, Bruce.

Goals: Legwinski 53 (assisted Garvan)

Referee: Neil Swarbrick (Lancashire) 6 Kept cards in his pocket and allowed the game to flow where possible but seemed to let Ipswich get away with far more than QPR to such an extent that when we did finally get a free kick right at the end of the game the whole ground cheered the decision. Got the penalty decision right I think, Bolder went over very easily.

Leicester 1 QPR 3, Saturday March 17, 2007

Referee Neil Swarbrick was adding to the frustration with a poor first half performance. Furlong and Nygaard were persecuted by the official in the first 45 minutes, constantly being whistled against for even meagre and non-existent offences. When Paul Furlong was hauled to the ground by Kenton and the free kick went Leicester 's way you started to wonder what it would take to get a decision out of the referee.

He did book Johansson for a deliberate hand ball which prevented Ainsworth bursting into the penalty area but his first half performance was summed up nicely by a bizarre incident on the half hour mark. An overhit pass from midfield ran through to Lee Camp and he prepared to launch the ball down field. However the linesman was flagging for a foul by Cullip on Horsfield that had taken place forty yards away from him, right under the nose of the referee who initially gave nothing.

Now presumably the referee saw nothing wrong with the incident otherwise he would have given it and yet without consulting with his linesman who'd made the decision for him he showed Cullip a yellow card. So if he didn't see it how can he know, without speaking to his assistant who gave it, that it was a booking? Cullip made this point to both officials during a break in play before half time. To make matters worse an identical incident with Furlong and Kenton at the other end was ignored by the officials.

Rangers could have no complaints about Damion Stewart's booking for a lunge from behind on Iain Hume in the 26th minute though - sometimes you've got no chance of winning the ball and you just have to stay on your feet, Stewart needs to learn that.

Suddenly there was only one team in the match. QPR poured forward almost straight from the kick off and Kisnorbo had to turn Bolder's low cross out for a corner as Furlong threatened to sneak in and double the lead. The respite was brief though. Lee Cook had a quiet afternoon on the left wing but when his devilish cross from the right was only partially cleared inside the six yard box Furlong was bundled over by Maybury as he attempted to control the loose ball and a penalty was duly awarded. After so many nailed on penalties not being awarded in crucial matches this season it was a massive relief to see the referee point straight to the spot as Furlong hit the deck. There didn't seem to be a great deal of enthusiasm among the players for taking the spot kick though and when Marc Nygaard picked the ball up there were a few hearts in mouths up in the corner of the stand but he calmly stepped up and rolled the ball into Henderson's bottom right hand corner as the keeper dived left.

At the other end Gareth Ainsworth and Adam Bolder almost crafted a fourth on the counter attack but Henderson spectacularly dived out to claim Ainsworth's cross. Furlong was then booked for kicking the ball away stupidly after Leicester were awarded a free kick on the touchline.

In stoppage time referee Swarbrick, massively improved in the second half, made a real hash of a penalty decision. A cross from the right was intercepted by Cullip who diverted the ball out for a corner either with the top of his thigh or arm - replays have proved inconclusive but he was yards outside the area when it happened and the linesman was looking right at it so that seemed very harsh. Iain Hume took his frustrations out on the ball with a fierce drive down the middle for a consolation goal.

If you saw a young lady going mental off to the left side of the away end when Hume scored and thought she was perhaps slightly mad or simple, don't worry, that was Charlotte. She backed 3-1 at 33/1 before the match. News followed of the other results, which had all gone our way. The perfect day completed.

Leicester: Henderson 6, Maybury 5, Kenton 6, Kisnorbo 6, Johansson 6,Newton 7, Jarrett 7 (Wesolowski 76, -), Hughes 6 (Tiatto 76, -), Yeates 7,Hume 7, Horsfield 6 (Hammond 62, 6).

Subs Not Used: Logan, Stearman.

Booked: Johansson (handball), Hume (foul).

Goals: Hume 90 pen.

QPR: Camp 8, Mancienne 7, Cullip 7, Stewart 7, Bignot 7,Ainsworth 6 (Smith 88, -), Bolder 8, Idiakez 7 (Lomas 63, 7), Cook 6, Furlong 8 (Ray Jones 84, -), Nygaard 8.

Subs Not Used: Cole, Kanyuka.

Booked: Stewart (foul), Cullip (foul), Furlong (kicking the ball away), Ray Jones (foul).

Goals: Idiakez 47, Nygaard 51 pen, 68.

Ref: N Swarbrick (Lancashire) 6 - Absolutely terrible in the first half, culminating in the farcical Cullip booking, greatly improved in the second apart from the dodgy late penalty decision, good job that wasn't crucial.

Stats

Swarbrick has shown 77 yellows and five reds in his 26 appointments so far, with 13 of those games coming in the Premier League including the last five. This is his fourth game of the season in the Championship, but he’s already taken charge of Derby once this term — a 2-0 defeat at Middlesbrough early in January. Seven yellows and a red at Sunderland’s 2-2 draw with West ham is by far his biggest single haul of the season so far.

Last season he booked 128 players and sent four off in 33 games, led by eight yellows and a red in an early meeting between Watford and Huddersfield in the Championship. As well as QPR at Everton and at home to Man Utd, he took charge of Derby’s 2-0 loss at Brighton.

Other listings

League One >>> Our old chum Trevor Kettle was up to his old anti-football tricks at the weekend, disallowing an Accrington goal at Wimbledon because he’d blown for half time while the shot was flying into the net. His punishment for that, rather than finally being removed from control of a sport he has absolutely no feel for or ability to control, is another appointment immediately — pity Bradford and Burton.

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Pictures — Action Images

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timcocking added 00:53 - Mar 8
"Centre back Phil Jones, looking and playing like a police horse post Newcastle-Sunderland match"

ha
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francisbowles added 09:33 - Mar 8
Strange history, Clive. Looks like he had a bit of a 'purple patch', got himself promoted, which you suggested was on the cards and then his shortcomings were totally exposed. Could be an interesting night!
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