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The Football Bill. 09:05 - Mar 19 with 896 viewsmushinexile

Government governance of the game. Long overdue, I have heard some say. Be careful what you wish for...

What could possibly go wrong?

Sir Humphrey: "Minister:

Due to the disproportionate nature of the player to official ratio, teams will be reduced to six players to allow for an equal number of referees at six per side.

potential buyers who will have deposited £10M into party funds will automatically be considered to have demonstrated that they are fit and proper owners.

In order to reduce costs and tribalism, all teams will wear only white shorts and either yellow or green shirts, the colour of which will be changed at half time.

Ticket prices will be capped at £2,500 and rise with inflation + 20% annually.

Any team not achieving its performance targets will have funding halved and should no improvement be measured over the next season, be placed into special measures by reducing the number of players on the pitch to four.

Simple and practical improvements throughout. I'm sure that your bill will speed through the house."
[Post edited 19 Mar 9:07]
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