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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. 02:41 - Feb 7 with 57048 viewsmarkrtid

To kick off easytime.

Bowie

'I never done good things
I never done bad things
I never did anything out of the blue, woh-o-oh
Want an axe to break the ice
Wanna come down right now
Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
We know Major Tom's a junkie
Strung out in heaven's high
Hitting an all-time low.'

Those words get to me every time I hear them.
4
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 22:35 - Feb 7 with 3616 viewsTW_R

I got up feeling so down
I got off being sold out
I've kept the movie rolling
But the story's getting old now, oh yeah

I just looked in the mirror
And things aren't looking so good
I'm looking California and feeling Minnesota, oh yeah

So now you know, who gets mystified
So now you know, who gets mystified

Show me the power child
I'd like to say
That I'm down on my knees today
Yeah, it gives me butterflies, gives me away
Till I'm up on my feet again
Yeah I'm feeling
Oh, I'm feeling outshined, outshined, outshined, outshined

Someone let the dogs out
They'll show where the truth is
The grass is always greener
Where the dogs are shitting, oh yeah

I'm feeling that I'm sober
Even though I'm drinking
I can't get any lower
Still I feel I'm sinking

So now you know, who gets mystified
So now you know, who gets mystified

Show me the power child
I'd like to say
That I'm down on my knees today
Yeah, it gives me butterflies gives me away
Till I'm up on my feet again
Oh I'm feeling
Oh, I'm feeling outshined, outshined, outshined, outshined

Oh, so now you know, who gets mystified
Show me the power child
I'd like to say
That I'm down on my knees today
Yeah, it gives me butterflies gives me away
Till I'm up on my feet again
Oh I'm feeling
Oh, I'm feeling
Show me the power child
I'd like to say
That I'm down on my knees today
Yeah, it gives me butterflies gives me away
Till I'm up on my feet again
Oh, I'm feeling
Oh, I'm feeling
Outshined, outshined, outshined, outshined
1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 22:50 - Feb 7 with 3588 viewsDannyPaddox

Im searching for the young soul rebels
I cant find them anywhere
I've looked under the sofa
Where have you hidden them?
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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 23:19 - Feb 7 with 3567 viewsWrightUp5hit___

I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from Clapham
Out on the windy common
That night I ain't forgotten
When she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said "you are a lady"
"Perhaps" she said. "I may be"

For those that don't have it burned in their souls, Up The Junction, Difford & Tilbrook
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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 23:29 - Feb 7 with 3563 viewsted_hendrix

Brand New Key

Melanie

I rode my bicycle past your window last night
I roller skated to your door at day light
It almost seems like you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you got something I need

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out, you see
I been looking around awhile, you got something for me
Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

I ride my bike, I roller skate, don't drive no car
Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far
For somebody who don't drive I been all round the world
Some people think I done all right for a girl

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out, you see
I been looking around awhile, you got something for me
Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

I asked your mother if you were at home
She said "Yes" but you weren't alone
Well, sometimes I think that you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you got something I need

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out, you see
I been looking around awhile, you got something for me
Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 00:18 - Feb 8 with 3546 viewsqpr1976

Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 07:23 - Feb 7 by londonscottish

Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my Cortina
A seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena

Ian Dury - Bilericay Dicky


I'd rondez-vouez with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet she bruised her pomegranet
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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 00:33 - Feb 8 with 3540 viewsqpr1976

Whilst we’re on the Squeeze -

“But behind the chalet
My holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet”
Pulling muscles for Michelle.....?
0
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 05:10 - Feb 8 with 3518 viewsKetteringRangers

Time Stand Still
Rush

I turn my back to the wind
To catch my breath,
Before I start off again
Driven on,
Without a moment to spend
To pass an evening
With a drink and a friend
I let my skin get too thin
I'd like to pause,
No matter what I pretend
Like some pilgrim
Who learns to transcend
Learns to live
As if each step was the end
Time stand still
I'm not looking back
But I want to look around me now
Time stands still
See more of the people
And the places that surround me now
Time stands still
Freeze this moment
A little bit longer
Make each sensation
A little bit stronger
Experience slips away
Experience slips away
Time stands still
I turn my face to the sun
Close my eyes,
Let my defenses down
All those wounds
That I can't get unwound
I let my past go too fast
No time to pause
If I could slow it all down
Like some captain,
Whose ship runs aground
I can wait until the tide comes around
Time stand still
I'm not looking back
But I want to look around me now
Time stands still
See more of the people
And the places that surround me now
Freeze this moment
A little bit longer
Make each sensation
A little bit stronger
Make each impression
A little bit stronger
Freeze this motion
A little bit longer
The innocence slips away
The innocence slips away
Time stands still
Time stands still
I'm not looking back
But I want to look around me now
See more of the people
And the places that surround me now
Time stands still
Summer's going fast
Nights growing colder
Children growing up
Old friends growing older
Freeze this moment
A little bit longer
Make each sensation
A little bit stronger
Experience slips away
Experience slips away
The innocence slips away
1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 06:33 - Feb 8 with 3506 viewsPommyhoop

'Allo, I'm-a Giuseppe, I got-a something special-a for you, ready?

Uno, duo, tre, quatro

When I was a boy, just about the eighth-a grade, Mama used to say don't stay out-a late with the bad-a boys, always shoot-a pool, Giuseppe going to flunk-a school.

Boy, it make-a me sick, all the t'ing I gotta do I can't-a get-a no kicks, always got to follow rules.

Boy, it make-a me sick, just to make-a lousy bucks.

Got to feel-a like a fool and-a mama used to say all-a time.

What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect.
What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad?
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place.

Ah, shaddap-a you face!

That's-a my mama, I can remember.
Big accordion solo.
Ah! Play dat again, Really nice, really nice!

Joe Dolce...

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/250x250/55039027.jpg
Poll: How much should we sell Eze for. What will we get.

2
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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it.(in Emojis on 06:42 - Feb 8 with 3506 viewsDannyPaddox

The Text Message (Emoji Remix)

It's like a 🌴🌴🌴some 🕗🕘🕓
It makes me 🤔
how 👁 keep from goin' ⬇️

👓 🔨 everywhere
People 💦 💦 on the 👁👁 👀
u know they just don't care
👁 can't take the 🤧
can't take the 🥁🗣🙉
Got no 💰to move out,
👁 ❓ 👁 got no choice

🐀🐀🐀 in the front room,
🐜🐜🐜in the 🔙
💉😜💊in the alley with a ⚾️ 🦇
👁 tried to 🏃‍♀️
but 👁 couldn't get 🎵
'Cause a 👨🏻‍🔧 with a ⛓ 🚘 repossessed my 🚗

Don't 🙌🏼 me
'cause I'm 👌🏼 2️⃣ the edge
I'm trying not 2️⃣ 🗡😳
It's like a 🌴🌴🌴 some 🕓🕘🕗
It makes me 🤔
how 👁 keep from goin' ⬇️

Standin' 🔛 the front stoop
hangin' out the window
👀 all the 🚗🚙🚗 go by
roarin' as the 💨 🎺
(🦇💩) 😜 👩🏻, livin' in a 👜
🍴 outta 🗑
used to 🐝 a 🚬 hag
Said she'll 💃🏼 🍊
skip the 🔦 fandango
A Zircon 👸🏻
seemed 2️⃣ lost her
👂🏼👃🏽👅👁✋🏽

Down @ the 👀 show
🕶 all the 🤓😜🤡
So she can 🗣 her ✍🏻
to the 👩🏾👩🏼👩🏻back 🏡
She went 2️⃣ the city
and got 5️⃣/ 🔟 seditty
She had 2️⃣ get a pimp,
she couldn't make it 🔛 her own

Don't 🙌🏼 me
'cause I'm 👌🏼 2️⃣ the edge
I'm trying not 2️⃣ 🗡😳
It's like a 🌴🌴🌴 some 🕓🕘🕗
It makes me 🤔
how 👁 keep from goin' ⬇️

My bruv's doin' 🦇
stole my 👵🏼 📺
Says she 👀 2️⃣ much,
it's just not 🍏🥕🍋
All My 👶🏾 👶🏻 👶 in the daytime,
Dallas @ night
Can't even 👀 the 🏈
or the Sugar Ray 🥊

The bill collectors, they 💍 my ☎️
And 👻 my 👩🏻 when I'm not 🏡
Got a 💣 🎓
🤘🏼 🎈
Can't take the 🚂 to the 💩
there's a ⚡️ at the station

Neon 🦍 standin' on my back
Can't 🖐🏼 to ↪️,
broke my sacroiliac
A mid-range 💥😫🔨
🦀-ed membrane
Sometimes 👁 think I'm goin' 😜
👁 🗣 x@#x! 👁 might hijack a ✈️

Don't 🙌🏼 me
'cause I'm 👌🏼 2️⃣ the edge
I'm trying not 2️⃣ 🗡😳
It's like a 🌴🌴🌴 some 🕓🕘🕗
It makes me 🤔
how 👁 keep from goin' ⬇️

A 👶🏼 is born with no st8️⃣ of mind
🙈 to the ways of 👨🏻kind
God is 😁on u but he's 🙄 2️⃣
🐝 cause only God knows
what you'll go through

You'll 🌱 in the 🍰 livin' 🥈-rate
And your 👀 will 🎤 a 🎼
called ⬇️ ♓️8️⃣
The 🐟🐟🐟 u 🎭
and where u stay
Looks like 1️⃣ gr8️⃣ 🐷 alleyway

You'll 😍 all
the 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣📕 takers
Thugs, pimps 🙌🏼
and the 🐷 💰makers
Drivin' big 🚘 🚘 🚘
spendin' 2️⃣0️⃣s and 1️⃣0️⃣s
And you'll wanna 🌱 ⬆️
2️⃣ 🐝 just like them, 🤣

Smugglers, scramblers, burglars, ♦️♠️♥️♣️🎲🎲
Pickpocket 🚴🏼‍♀️, even 🍳🤚🏼lers
You say I'm 😎, 🤣, I'm no 🤡
But then u 🌀 🆙 ⬇️
outta high school

Now you're unemployed,
all non-void
🚶🏽🔄 like
you're 💄💋 Floyd
⤴️ 🙌🏼 👶🏼
but 👀what u done did
Got sent 🆙 for a 8️⃣-year bid

Now your 👨🏻⛑ is took
and you're a M8️⃣ag
Spend the next ✌🏼years
as a ⬇️cover 🚬
🐝 in' used and abused
to 🏓 like 🔥👹🔱🔥
Till 1️⃣ day,
u was found
hung 💀 in the cell

It was plain 2️⃣ 👓
that your life was lost
U was ☃️
and your body 🏌🏽‍♀️
🔙 and 4️⃣th
But now your 👁👁 🎤
the 😩😩 🎼
Of how u lived so 🏇🏼💨
and ☠️ so 👶🏼 so

Don't 🙌🏼 me
'cause I'm 👌🏼 2️⃣ the edge
I'm trying not 2️⃣ 🗡😳
It's like a 🌴🌴🌴 some 🕓🕘🕗
It makes me 🤔
how 👁 keep from goin' ⬇️

***
🔟0️⃣0️⃣master💥
➕the 😤 5️⃣

***

It passed a long 🚂 journey
[Post edited 8 Feb 2019 14:51]
5
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 08:11 - Feb 8 with 3489 viewsDorse

'Graaaaaaargh! Ugh, mph, roooar! Blaaaaaaaaargh!'
Napalm Death

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

3
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 09:00 - Feb 8 with 3469 viewsHarbour

Open your eyes and look within
Are you satisfied with the life your living
We know where we’re going
We know where we’re from
We’re leaving Babylon
We’re going to the fatherland
Exodus movement of ja people

Bob Marley
1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 09:32 - Feb 8 with 3448 viewsqprxtc

With innocence within ourselves
We sing the same old song
And you will take my hand
And make believe it's wonderland

Wonderland, Big Country.

Nice ironical work, Stuart.
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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 09:51 - Feb 8 with 3431 viewsqprxtc

When I look up to the sky
I see your eyes, a funny kind of yellow
I rush home to bed, I sunk my head
I see your face underneath my pillow
I wake next morning, tired still yawning
See your face come peeking through my window

Pictures of matchstick men and you
Images of matchstick men and you
All I ever see is them and you

Windows echo your reflection
When I look in their direction gone
When will this haunting stop
Your face, it just won't leave me alone

Pictures of matchstick men and you
Images of matchstick men and you
All I ever see is them and you

You in the sky, you with the sky
You make me cry, your eyes

You in the sky, you with the sky
You make me cry, your eyes

That's the world I want to live in.
1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 11:30 - Feb 8 with 3393 viewslondonscottish

Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 00:18 - Feb 8 by qpr1976

I'd rondez-vouez with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet she bruised her pomegranet


LOL.

I LOVE Ian Dury's lyrics.

I'm massively into music and listen all the time but I can honestly say that 99% of the time I don't actually listen to or remember what's being sung. I love listening to people singling but to me it's more about how they're singing not what they're singing. I find it bemusing when I go to a gig and people around me can sing all the lyrics to all the songs through an entire gig whereas I can only just about manage a chorus here or there. I may tunes inside out and know exactly what the drummer/bass player/guitarist/keyboard player/vocalist is going to do next. I just don't know the words.

But I find Ian Dury's lyrics endlessly amusing and so they stick.

I bought a lot of brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a 'Mandy'
She didn't half go bandy

Poll: Do you love or hate the new Marmite ad?

1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 12:18 - Feb 8 with 3369 viewsTacticalR

Well, I got a job and I tried to put my money away
But I got the kind of debts that no honest man can pay
So I drew out what I had from the Central Trust
And I bought us two tickets on that Coast City bus

Well everything dies, baby, that's a fact
But maybe everything that dies some day comes back
Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty
And meet me tonight in Atlantic City

Bruce Springsteen, Atlantic City

Air hostess clique

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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 12:47 - Feb 8 with 3360 viewsGaryT

This reminds me of so many failed Saturday nights.

Tom Waits - Hope I don't fall in love with you

Well the night does funny things inside a man
These old tom-cat feelings you don't understand,
Well I turn around to look at you,
You light a cigarette,
I wish I had the guts to bum one,
But we've never met,
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you.

I can see that you are lonesome just like me,
And it being late, you'd like some some company,
Well I turn around to look at you,
And you look back at me,
The guy you're with has up and split,
The chair next to you's free,
And I hope that you don't fall in love with me.

Now it's closing time, the music's fading out
Last call for drinks, I'll have another stout.
Well I turn around to look at you,
You're nowhere to be found,
I search the place for your lost face,
Guess I'll have another round
And I think that I just fell in love with you.
1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 12:57 - Feb 8 with 3353 viewsheadhoops

Far from crazy pavements
The taste of silver spoons
A clinical arrangement
On a dirty afternoon
Where the fecal germs of Mr Freud
Are rendered obsolete
The legal term is "null and void"
In the case of Beasley Street

In the cheap seats where murder breeds
Somebody is out of breath
Sleep is a luxury they don't need
A sneak preview of death
Belladonna is your flower
Manslaughter your meat
Spend a year in a couple of hours
On the edge of Beasley Street

Where the action isn't
That's where it is
State your position
Vacancies exist
In an X-certificate exercise
Ex-servicemen excrete
Keith Joseph smiles and a baby dies
In a box on Beasley Street

From the boarding-houses and the bedsits
Full of accidents and fleas
Somebody gets it
Where the missing persons freeze
Wearing dead men's overcoats
You can't see their feet
A riff joint shuts, opens up
Right down on Beasley Street

Cars collide, colours clash
Disaster-movie stuff
For a man with a Fu Manchu moustache
Revenge is not enough
There's a dead canary on a swivel seat
There's a rainbow in the road
Meanwhile on Beasley Street
Silence is the code
Hot beneath the collar
An inspector calls
Where the perishing stink of squalor
Impregnates the walls
The rats have all got rickets
They spit through broken teeth
The name of the game is not cricket
Caught out on Beasley Street

The hipster and his hired hat
Drive a borrowed car
Yellow socks and a pink cravat
Nothing, la-dee-dah
OAP, mother-to-be
Watch the three-piece suite
When shit-stoppered drains
And crocodile skis
Are seen on Beasley Street
The kingdom of the blind
A one-eyed man is king
Beauty problems are redefined
The doorbells do not ring
A lightbulb bursts like a blister
The only form of heat
Here a fellow sells his sister
Down the river on Beasley Street

The boys are on the wagon
The girls are on the shelf
Their common problem is
That they're not someone else
The dirt blows out
The dust blows in
You can't keep it neat
It's a fully furnished dustbin
Sixteen Beasley Street

Vince the ageing savage
Betrays no kind of life
But the smell of yesterday's cabbage
And the ghost of last year's wife
Through a constant haze
Of deodorant sprays
He says retreat
Alsations dog the dirty days
Down the middle of Beasley Street

People turn to poison
Quick as lager turns to piss
Sweethearts are physically sick
Every time they kiss
It's a sociologist's paradise
Each day repeats
On easy, cheesy, greasy, queasy
Beastly Beasley Street

Eyes dead as vicious fish
Look around for laughs
If I could have just one wish
I would be a photograph
On a permanent Monday morning
Get lost or fall asleep
When the yellow cats are yawning
Around the back of Beasley Street

John Cooper Clark

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1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 13:09 - Feb 8 with 3341 viewsted_hendrix

Are You Experienced?

The Jimi Hendrix Experience

If you can just get your mind together
Then come on across to me
We'll hold hands an' then we'll watch the sun rise from the bottom of the sea
But first

Are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have

I know, I know
You'll probably scream n' cry
That your little world won't let you go
But who in your measly little world are trying to prove that
You're made out of gold and -a can't be sold

So-er, are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have

Ah, let me prove it to you
Trumpets and violins, I can hear in the distance
I think they're calling our names
Maybe now you can't hear them, but you will
If you just take hold of my hand
Ah! But are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?
Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

0
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 13:52 - Feb 8 with 3315 viewsR_from_afar

Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 15:22 - Feb 7 by E17hoop

The water's clear
I see that it's full of dimes
For every wish, I wonder why
Why all I want is something beautiful
A place to rest

Faith No More

Here I am
Floating in emerald sea
Keep me dancing
Keep me as still as can be
And I try to keep the balance right
And I try but it feels like wasted time

Olafur Arnaulds


Nice one, and you also reminded me of this Faith No More quip I had been meaning to bother you all with on here:

It's always funny until someone gets hurt... And then it's just hilarious!
FNM - "Ricochet" .

RFA

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

0
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 14:25 - Feb 8 with 3287 viewsTacticalR

Some people like to go out dancing
And other people, they gotta work

Velvet Underground, Sweet Jane

Air hostess clique

3
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 14:29 - Feb 8 with 3279 viewsPinnerPaul

There's a guy works down the chip swears his Elvis
He's a liar and I'm not sure about you
1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 14:33 - Feb 8 with 3272 viewsPinnerPaul

I've been going out with a girl,
her name is Julie
But last night she said to me,
when we were watching telly(This is what she said)She said listen John, I love you
But there's this bloke, I fancy
I don't want to two time you,
so it's the end for you and meWho's this bloke I asked her
Goooooordon, she replied
Not THAT puff, I said dismayed
Yes but he's no puff she cried(He's more of a man than you'll ever be)Here we go, two three four
I was so upset that I cried,
all the way to the chip shopWhen I came out there was Gordon,
standing at the bus stop(And guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me)Oh, she is cruel and heartless
to pack me for Gordon
Just cos he's better looking than me
Just cos he's cool and trendy
But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moronHere we go, two three fourOh she's a slag and he's a creep
She's a tart, he's very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough
She is a bitch, he is a puff
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
Yeah yeah, it's not fair

(I'm so upset)I'm so upset, I'm so upset, yeah yeah(I ought to smash his face in.)(Yeah, but he's bigger than me. In't he?)(I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him. He'd flatten him)(Yeah but Barry's a mate of Gordon's in'e?)(Oh well, I don't care)I don't care
I don't care
Cause she's a slag and he's a creep
she's a tart, he's very cheap
she is a slut, he thinks he's tough...
1
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 14:36 - Feb 8 with 3265 viewsPinnerPaul

You could hear the hoof beats pound
As they raced across the ground
And the clatter of the wheels
As they spun round and round
And he galloped into Market Street
His badge upon his chest
His name was Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie loved a widow
A lady known as Sue
She lived all alone in Linley Lane
At number twenty two
They said she was too good for him
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Ernie got his cocoa there
Three times every week
They called him Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

She said she'd like to bathe in milk
He said alright sweetheart
And when he finished work one night
He loaded up the cart
He said you wanted pasturised
Coz pasturised is best
She says Ernie I'll be happy
If it comes up to me chest
And that tickled old Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie had a rival
An evil looking man
Called Two Ton Ted from Teddington
And he drove the baker's van
He tempted her with his treacle tarts
And his tasty wholemeal bread
And when she saw the size
Of his hot meat pies
It very near turned her head
She nearly swooned at his macaroon
And he said now if you treat me right
You'll have hot rolls evry morning
And crumpets every night
He knew once she'd sampled his layer cake
He'd have his wicked way
And all Ernie had to offer
Was a pint of milk a day
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

One lunchtime Ted saw Ernie's horse and cart outside her door
It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four
And as he leaped down from of his van
Hot blood through his veins did course
And he went across to Ernie's cart
And he didn't half kick his horse
Who's name was Trigger (Trigger)
And he pulled the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie rushed out into the street
His goldtop in his hand
He said if you want to marry Susie
You'll fight for her like a man
Oh why don't we play cards for her
He sneeringly replied
And just to make it interesting
We'll have a shilling on the side
Now Ernie dragged him from his van
And beneath the blazing sun
They stood there face to face
And Ted went for his bun
But Ernie was to quick
Things didn't go the way Ted planned
And a strawberry flavoured youghurt
Sent it spinning from his hand
Now Sue she ran between them
And tried to keep them apart
And Ernie pushed her aside
And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart
And he looked up in pained surprise
As the concrete hardened crust
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye
And Ernie bit the dust
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Ernie was only fifty-two, he didn't want to die
Now he's gone to make deliveries
In that milkround in the sky
Where the customers are angels
And ferocious dogs are banned
And a milkman's life is full of fun
In that fairy dairy land
But a woman's needs are manifold
And Sue she married Ted
But strange things happened on their wedding night
As they lay in their bed
Was that the trees a rustling
Or the hinges of the gate
Or Ernie's ghostly goldtops a rattling in their crate
They won't forget Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west
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Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 14:46 - Feb 8 with 3255 viewsMick_S

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you
[Repeat]
I, I will always love
You...
You
Darling I love you
I'll always
I'll always
Love
You.
Oooh
Ooohhh

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

0
Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 14:49 - Feb 8 with 3242 viewsEsox_Lucius

Timeless Lyrics. Please no Youtube. Just the words. Go with it. on 11:30 - Feb 8 by londonscottish

LOL.

I LOVE Ian Dury's lyrics.

I'm massively into music and listen all the time but I can honestly say that 99% of the time I don't actually listen to or remember what's being sung. I love listening to people singling but to me it's more about how they're singing not what they're singing. I find it bemusing when I go to a gig and people around me can sing all the lyrics to all the songs through an entire gig whereas I can only just about manage a chorus here or there. I may tunes inside out and know exactly what the drummer/bass player/guitarist/keyboard player/vocalist is going to do next. I just don't know the words.

But I find Ian Dury's lyrics endlessly amusing and so they stick.

I bought a lot of brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a 'Mandy'
She didn't half go bandy


You'd love Half Man Half Biscuit then. It's ALL about the lyrics.

The grass is always greener.

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